Meh Horror Summer

Last summer, I was surprised at how underwhelmed I was with three extremely hyped movies: Barbie, Oppenheimer, and Killers of the Flower Moon. Don't get me wrong--none of these films were bad. But I expected them to be great and then thought they were just ok. Having rewatched both Barbie and Oppenheimer (I don't think I'll bother rewatching the 206 minute Killers of the Flower Moon for a while)...I stand by my initial underwhelmed-ness. Both of those films have their charms and their moments, but overall I find them just ok. "B" movies on my rating scale, which means not bad but not great.

This summer I am facing a similar situation with my most anticipated horror movies. I've already reviewed MaXXXine and Longlegs, neither of which are "bad", but also neither of which are particularly good. MaXXXine was the third in a trilogy where the first two movies I thought were wonderful. To have the trilogy end on a dud is pretty disappointing. And Longlegs had brilliant marketing, leading many viewers to believe the claims that is was going to be incredibly disturbing and terrifying. It had some jump scenes for the history books, but that doesn't translate into "a great movie" for me.

In this review I have two more disappointing horror/thrillers as well as a horror movie that surprised me. I think it's important to keep in mind that horror is very personal. Not just in the sense that different things scare different people, but also that the circumstances under which you watch a movie and the headspace you're in can really impact how you feel about a movie. 

***

Cuckoo

Hunter Schafer is one of the breakout stars of the, er, problematic (yet addictive) show Euphoria. I was excited to see that she would be the lead actress in what appeared to be (going by the preview) a truly terrifying and bonkers horror movie. Directed by Tilman Singer and also starring Dan Stevens, Cuckoo is about a family that moves to a resort town in the Bavarian Alps for the summer. Gretchen (Schafer) is the extremely moody eldest daughter who is grieving the death of her mother. After her mother's death, she was forced to move to England to live with her dad, Luis (Martin Csokas), stepmom Beth (Jessica Fenwick), and stepsister Alma (Mila Lieu). And now she's being forced to spend the summer in a boring resort town while her parents help design the new hotel for Mr. Konig (Dan Stevens, putting his bilingualism to good use playing the very creepy Herr Konig). 

Basically, creepy shit starts going down from day one. Konig gives Gretchen a job at the reception desk of the main hotel (the resort consists of a hotel with little bungalows nearby) and people randomly come in and throw up at night. Alma starts having seizures, which take Luis and Beth's full attention, leaving Gretchen to her own devices. When she is chased by a terrifying woman while she rides her bike home after a late night shift at the hotel, she realizes that something very bad is happening at the resort.

And you'll never guess what it is because it's so batshit insane that I really couldn't take Cuckoo seriously. The movie feels very incoherent and half-baked. The acting and cinematography are excellent, but they cannot make up for a plot that feels both silly and stupid. By the end of the movie, I was thinking "When will this be over? I want this movie to be over." which is not what you want to feel when watching a movie! 

I was reminded of the movie A Cure for Wellness while watching Cuckoo, which is similar in that there is a kernel of a really interesting idea buried deep in the movie, but the execution is just bad. It's almost more disappointing to watch a film that has unrecognized potential than a movie that is just plain bad. I'll bump up Cuckoo's grade for the above-mentioned acting and cinematography, as well as some truly terrifying imagery, but overall this is one to skip.

Grade: C+

***

Trap

M. Night Shyamalan is a divisive filmmaker and more often than not I find myself on the "yeah, no" side with regards to his films. In my mind, he made one truly great film (The Sixth Sense), a bunch of mid-level films, and some absolute stinkers. Having only seen six of his movies, I'm not the best judge of his overall oeuvre, but I'd say that Trap falls somewhere in the middle.

More of a thriller than a horror film, the main "twist" of Trap isn't a twist at all since the marketing revealed the premise of the film: Cooper (Josh Hartnett), takes his daughter, Riley (Ariel Donoghue), to a concert. Upon seeing the huge numbers of police at the concert, Cooper asks a guy selling merchandise what's going on. The guy says that the police know that an infamous serial killer, the Butcher, is at this concert and so they've set a trap for him. They'll be detaining every male leaving the concert until they catch the guy. Problem is, Cooper is the Butcher.

So the rest of the movie is "How is Cooper gonna get out of this?". Well, and also a lot of time spent lingering on the concert of fictional pop singer Lady Raven, played by...M. Night Shyamalan's daughter Saleka Night Shyamalan. And I'm not going to lie: she's a pretty good pop singer! But also, this is really taking the nepo baby thing to the next level.

In any case, Trap has the two things you can always expect in a Shyamalan movie: crazy plot twists and schmaltzy pap. I've called Shyamalan a "hack" before, and I'm not sure if that's fair. I think he is actually a decent director whose directorial style and values as a storyteller are just not for me. The guy wants to direct movies about horrific things but he is unwilling to go all the way to the dark side. And because of this unwillingness to get dark and dirty, his movies come off as phony and cheesy (to me). In the case of Trap it's the fact that this so-called "Butcher" seems like a real stand-up guy for a serial killer. The way he kills people, or at least the specific victim he has hidden away in a basement somewhere at the time of the concert, is the most humane and non-painful way to kill someone. Also, he's a good father and he has Mommy issues, which water down his inherent evil.

I hate shit like this. The Butcher supposedly has killed 12 people at the time of the concert. If you kill 12 people in cold blood, you're a psychopath. It doesn't matter if Mommy didn't love you enough. Something is wrong with your brain if you kill 12 people. So don't give me this "serial killer with a heart of gold" bullshit. They tried to do the same thing with the show Dexter and I couldn't buy it: there is no such thing as a "moral" serial killer. But in M. Night's wholesome worldview, even serial killers aren't that bad. M. Night is a soft director and that softness is too soft for me. 

Credit where credit is due, though: Josh Hartnett is great in this movie,

Grade: C+

***

In a Violent Nature

Directed by Chris Nash, In a Violent Nature was a pleasant surprise. It's meditative, ambient, and slow. The killer, Johnny (Ry Barrett), is awakened from death by a some 20-somethings who take a locket from a fire tower where Johnny is buried. This was Johnny's mother's necklace, so he awakens and goes on a killing spree. A lot of the movie, which follows Johnny's perspective, is just him tromping through the woods. It's the most relaxing slasher you'll ever watch. Filled with the crunching of leaves underfoot and birdsong, a significant portion of In a Violent Nature feels like an ASMR video. Only peppered with insanely violent murders.

I watched this movie with a friend and there was one kill in particular (IYKYK) where we exclaimed, "whoa. Whoa!! WHOA!!!" as we watched--just absolutely disgusting, graphic, and probably impossible to actually do to a human body. 

There's not much else to say about In a Violent Nature. It's not a movie with a ton of symbolism or a deeper meaning. It's just an undead guy killing a bunch of annoying 20-somethings in the woods. Simple and surprisingly satisfying.

Grade: B+