I'm a STAR!!!

Two movies about women who will do whatever it takes to rise to stardom.

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MaXXXine

I'm sad to say that Ti West's MaXXXine was a disappointment for me. MaXXXine is the third in a triology of movies directed by West and starring the incomparable Mia Goth. The trilogy begins with X, which I reviewed here.  X is a pretty straightforward slasher, inspired heavily by The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. A group of adult filmmakers, including Maxine Minx (Mia Goth), rent out a bed and breakfast on a Texan farm to surreptitiously film a porno. They are slaughtered by Pearl (also played by Goth) and Howard, the elderly couple who own the bed and breakfast. Next came Pearl, which focuses on the life of young Pearl (played by, who else, Mia Goth) as she begins her murderous career in 1918.

Finally, we come to MaXXXine, which follows Maxine Minx (still played by Mia Goth), a few years after the events of X (Minx was the "final girl" who survived the massacre). The year is 1985, the place is Los Angeles, and Maxine is trying to jump from porn to horror movies. The City of Stars is being terrorized by the Night Stalker, and we catch glimpses of a man with leather gloves who appears to be stalking Maxine. Is it Richard Ramirez? Or is it someone who knows about what happened to Maxine and her crew at that bed and breakfast in 1979?

Unlike X, which was funny, gory, and had a great ensemble cast, and Pearl, which was a unique and colorful mishmash of genres, MaXXXine is just meh. The movie just doesn't shine. The script is pretty weak and Mia Goth gives her weakest performance of the trilogy. In the first two films we spent ample time with all the characters who were killed, which added some emotional stakes to the movies. In MaXXXine, we barely get to know the victims. Hell, we barely know *Maxine*, the star of the show! 

Despite a few fun scenes (check out the scene with Maxine and a Buster Keaton impersonator in a deserted alley), MaXXXine feels like decaf coffee after the shots of espresso that were X and Pearl. Major bummer! However, I will add that I saw this movie with a friend of mine who isn't the biggest fan of horror and she really liked it. She pointed out that it's more of a thriller/crime movie than a horror movie, which is very true. Also, there are many fans of the trilogy who enjoyed MaXXXine more than or equal to the earlier films, so I think it really comes down to personal taste. If you like 80s horror, give MaXXXine a watch.

Grade: B-

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Showgirls

Directed by controversial filmmaker Paul Verhoeven, Showgirls is infamous. Considered to be one of the worst movies of all time, Showgirls follows Nomi Malone (Elizabeth Berkley), a woman with a troubled past who dreams of becoming a Las Vegas showgirl. After hitching a ride to Sin City, she begins her journey to stardom at a strip club called The Cheetah, where she captures the attention of Cristal Connors (Gina Gershon), a powerful star of a show called "Goddess" at the Stardust Resort and Casino. Cristal buys a private lap dance for her boyfriend, Zack Carey (Kyle MacLachlan), who also happens to be the entertainment director of the Stardust. Nomi dry humps Zack until he comes in his pants while eye-fucking Cristal.

You might think my description of the lap dance is crude, but that's because Showgirls is the most gloriously, shamelessly, trashy movie in existence. This movie is on another level. If I had a nickel for every nipple I saw in this movie, I could quit my job and spend the rest of my life playing the slots in Vegas. Showgirls is SO misogynist and exploitative of women that it circles around to parody and then back around again to sheer misogyny. I will mention that there is a GRAPHIC rape scene near the end of the movie that is completely inappropriate and unnecessary, not to mention racist (one of the few Black characters is the victim) and triggering. Look. I've seen the movie Irreversible, which features a goddamn 9 minute scene of sexual assault, but this scene felt way more upsetting and disgusting. 

Despite the truly offensive scene of sexual assault, Showgirls is just so confoundingly entertaining that I don't know how to process it. It's very much a "so bad it's good" movie, or rather a "so outrageous it's hilarious" movie. Here are a few lines from the movie to give you a sense of what I'm talking about:

"She looks better than a ten-inch dick and you know it!"

"Come back when you've fucked some of this baby fat off. See ya."

Zack: Tell me something, how much did you charge? Hooking.
Nomi: Fifty. Hundred sometimes.
Zack: You got low self-esteem baby. You're a fantastic fuck.

With its dazzling costumes, makeup, hair, and dance sequences, Showgirls proves to be diamond-encrusted, champagne-soaked trash. If you can stomach this misogyny, it's a perfect bad movie night watch. Even though I fully acknowledge the limitations of this film, I can't deny that I had a great time watching it. 

Grade: A for entertainment, D for quality