Saturday, April 20, 2019

Put on Your Big Boy Cape and Tights

Movies: Shazam!

Shazam! is a delightful throwback to more innocent action/adventure movies of the 1980s. Directed by David F. Sandberg and based on a DC character, Shazam! walks a fine line between kid-friendly and surprisingly dark, not unlike the films it pays homage to such as The Goonies and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (just to name a couple). Obviously, the film is cashing in on Millennial and Gen-Xer's nostalgia, while also being appropriate for them to take their own kids to. Smart thinking.

Opening in 1974, we see a young boy being emotionally abused by his father and brother during a car ride to his grandfather's. This boy, Thaddeus Sivana, is transported to a magical lair where he meets Shazam (Djimon Hounsou), a wizard looking for a champion to transfer his powers to now that he is old and weak. This champion would be strong, powerful, and smart--he/she would have to be in order to hold the Seven Deadly Sins at bay so they don't wreak havoc on the world in the form of ugly-ass demons. Well, despite Thad being the victim of bullying, it turns out he's not good enough (he fails the "pure of heart" test) to be the Wizard's champion and he is transported back to his terrible family.

Years later, 14 year old Billy Baston (the wonderfully named Asher Angel) is a foster kid trying to hunt down his birth mother in Philadelphia. He was separated from her at a very young age when he wandered off at a carnival (between this film and the opening scenes of Us, carnivals are getting some seriously bad press). The thing is, she never even tried to look for him. I was surprised at Billy's depressing backstory--it's one thing to have a parent give you up at birth because they don't feel equipped to raise you; it's quite another to not try to find a child who goes missing.

The fact that both Billy and Thad both have extreme daddy/mommy issues is relevant since the heart of Shazam! is the meaning of family. Billy is picked up by the police and placed in a new foster group home run by a quirky couple and filled with a lively crew of diverse and funny kids. Billy, not surprisingly, is not into it. He's learned the hard way to never depend on anyone but himself.

Meanwhile, Thad Sivana is all grown up (Mark Strong is excellent as the loquacious, smart bad guy) and is evil as fuck. A scientist, he has cracked the code on how to release the Seven Deadly Sins and is intent on taking revenge against Shazam, his evil father and brother, and...the entire world. Shazam is desperate and he transports Billy to his lair and gives him his own powers, causing Billy to grow into a whole-ass adult male (played delightfully by Zachary Levi of Chuck fame) who is not only over 6 feet, swole as hell, and sexy while still being boyish--he also has a ton of super powers, such as super strength and super speed.

After freaking out, Billy asks another kid from the foster home, Freddy (Jack Dylan Glazer) for help. Freddy is the resident nerd who loves comics and so Billy figures he might be able to help him. This leads to a delightful (I'm using that word a lot, aren't I) montage where they test Billy's powers. They also use Billy's grown-up appearance to buy beer at a convenience store.

Eventually, Billy's destiny becomes clear as Thad's powers grow and he realizes he can't run OR hide from Thad who is actively looking to destroy Billy because once Shazam's powers are gone Thad and his seven deadly demons will reign supreme. Thad plays dirty by taking Billy's foster family hostage...but it turns out that the foster kids are a lot stronger and smarter than they appear to be.

I'll hold off on further details since I've already given a thorough plot synopsis here, but suffice it to say that Shazam! is wholesome--but not TOO wholesome--fun. It's dark enough that you might not want to take young kiddos to see it, but it's sweet (and PG-13) enough that it is entirely appropriate for most kids 10 and up. But it's the adults who will have the most fun watching Zachary Levi and Jack Dylan Glazer crack wise and goof around while referencing every movie from Big to Superman.

The only complaint I have about the film is that it doesn't allow Thad Sivana more than one dimension, even though he's the type of villain who absolutely deserves a more meaty emotional backstory. This poor kid was tormented by his own father and brother for his whole life, and when he has the chance to claim power, is denied it because he is not pure of heart. How can a little kid who is abused not be pure of heart? No wonder he grew up evil. This is a Kilmonger-esque backstory if I ever saw one and yet Thad is give about 20% the depth of the Black Panther villain. This seemed like a real wasted opportunity and blindspot in the film.

Grade: B




Sunday, April 7, 2019

Does the Cat Die? (Sorta)

Movies: Pet Sematary

Pet Sematary, based on Stephen King's 1983 novel, is pretty dumb. I'll just get that out of the way. I haven't read the book and I haven't seen the 1989 film adaptation, so I have nothing to compare this film to (though I assume the book is much better and scarier), but I can say that as a standalone, Pet Sematary is pretty weak. As John Lithgow says in the film, "sometimes, dead is better." Indeed.

There are spoilers in this review.

The movie follows Louis Creed (Jason Clarke), a doctor who has moved his family from Boston to Ludlow, Maine to "slow down" so he can spend more time with his family: wife Rachel (Amy Semeitz), 9 year old daughter Ellie (Jete Laurence), and toddler Gage (Hugo and Lucas Lavoie). It doesn't take the Creed family long to realize that there is a creepy-ass pet cemetery (misspelled "sematary" because kids can't spell...nor can pets) where generations of children in Ludlow have buried beloved animals.

But it's not the "sematary" the Creeds need to be wary of, it's what lies beyond...

An elderly man named Jud Crandall (John Lithgow, easily the best part of the film) strikes up a friendship with the Creeds after helping Ellie out when she gets a bee sting. The old man has a soft spot for the little girl (not in a creepy way) since he never had children of his own and his wife has passed away. When Ellie's cat, Church (short for Winston Churchill), is hit by a truck, he shows Louis a different place to bury it...A FREAKIN NATIVE AMERICAN BURIAL GROUND*.

Sure enough, Church comes back...but, different. Meaner. More violent.



Having Church come back has spared Louis the discomfort of telling Ellie her cat died. But at what cost? Reviews I've read called Louis a "putz" who couldn't sack up and tell his kid about death. But the thing that gets me is that the whole Church-zombie thing isn't really Louis' fault--it's Jud's. Jud knew about the special powers of the land and, though Louis didn't ask too many questions, didn't exactly give Louis fair warning.

So, when Ellie herself is hit by a car and dies, Jud can hardly blame Louis for doing exactly what the audience has been waiting for. In a state of crushing grief, Rachel and Gage spend a few days at Rachel's parents--giving Louis the space and time to exhume Ellie, bury her beyond the pet cemetery, and wait for the inevitable to happen. It does. Ellie comes back...but different. Meaner. More violent.

Now, to be fair to Louis, if you were a parent whose kid was killed and you knew a special place that would bring them back to life, you know damn well you'd bury them there, damn the consequences. Unfortunately, the consequences for Louis and the rest of his family are dire when zombie Ellie returns.

The thing about Pet Sematary is that it's about a parent's worst nightmare and yet this particular iteration of the story doesn't really honor the grief and agony at the heart of it all. We see Louis and Rachel mourn Ellie's death for all of 5 minutes before Louis is scheming to bring her back. The film races past the grief to get to the zombie 9-year-old, twirling in her dirty ballet costume and threatening mom with a kitchen knife. I've seen horror movies do grief (Hereditary) and I've seen horror movies do the terror of being a parent (The Babadook) and Pet Sematary just doesn't do any of it justice. I will admit I watched some parts through my fingers, but ultimately the scares weren't enough to justify the lack of an emotional core.

Now, for people who hate seeing animals and children die in movies, you're safe here--they all come back. But, as Jud would say, sometimes dead is better.

Grade: C

*yes, the concept of the spoopy ancient Native American burial ground is hella racist. I have to admit, I loved Jud's shoutout the the Wendigo though. When will they make a movie about the Wendigo!?