The Birdcage
Somehow I made it to ripe old age of 38 without seeing this genius film in its entirety. Sure, I saw the "Fosse Fosse Fosse!" scene and the "men smear" scene...but for whatever reason I hadn't sat my ass down and just watched the entire movie. And boy am I glad I finally did. Directed by Mike Nichols and starring the late, great Robin Williams as well as Nathan Lane, Hank Azaria, Gene Hackman, Dianne Wiest, and Calista Flockhart, The Birdcage is unbelievably funny. I haven't laughed this loud at a movie in a long time.
The movie is a bunch of gay jokes, including numerous uses of the f-slur, but the gays are in on the joke. Which means that I feel comfortable laughing when Hank Azaria's flamboyant Agador bristles at the idea of wearing a butler's uniform, saying, "No! I'm gonna look like a fag!" (I had to pause the movie because I was laughing so hard at that line). I can't even comprehend how hilarious this movie is. Everyone is bringing their A-game.
In case you also live under a rock, The Birdcage (based on the 1973 play La Cage aux Folles) is about a gay couple (Williams and Lane) whose son is getting engaged to a woman with conservative parents. So when the parents come to visit, they have to play straight. Or rather, Williams plays straight and Lane dresses in drag, pretending to be the wife. Much hilarity ensues.
At the center of the movie is a message about accepting the people you love just as they are and how life is more vibrant and joyful when people are allowed to be themselves. It's interesting to me that for a film that features quite a few objectively awful people (Hackman's conservative Senator Keeley, Christine Baranski playing Val's absent mother, and Dan Futterman playing Val, the son who is getting married and selfishly pushes for his dad(s) to pretend to be straight) the movie doesn't dwell on any negative emotions. The result is a pro-social film that encourages acceptance without feeling preachy or "politically correct". Given all the horror and intense dramas I tend to be attracted to, a movie as funny, colorful, and joyful as The Birdcage is a breath of fresh air.
Grade: A+
***
Everybody Wants Some!!
If you love the movie Dazed and Confused and wish there was a sequel, Everybody Wants Some!! is about as close as you're going to get. This 2016 film is directed by Richard Linklater (who also directed Dazed and Confused) and follows the members of a college baseball team during the weekend before classes begin in August of 1980. Freshmen pitcher Jake Bradford (Blake Jenner) shows up at one of the designated off-campus "baseball houses" where the team will live together and is immediately thrown into the frat boy-esque chaos of a bunch of horny, beer-swilling, competitive guys living together.
Over the course of the weekend, the fellas bond over parties, beer, "college pussy", games (ranging from pinball to ping-pong), massive bong rips, and, of course, baseball. A few of the older guys give Bradford and the fellow freshmen shit, but a couple others take them under their wings and give them advice about how to "piss with the big-dick dogs". It's honestly a really sweet movie, despite absolutely dripping with testosterone. Just as with Dazed and Confused, Linklater captures the poetic philosophy hiding underneath the hormonal hijinks of a bunch of young people. Few directors understand the contradictions of youth so well. Young people are immature, impulsive, petty, and shallow--sure. But they're also brutally honest, insightful, and can be very friendly when they want to be. Linklater captures all of it and delivers a really fun and often deeper than expected film.
Also starring Glen Powell as charming ladies man Finn, Tyler Hoechlin as the alpha male star hitter McReynolds, and Zoey Deutch as theatre nerd and potential love interest Beverly, Everybody Wants Some!! is a delightful comedy that is both horny and heartfelt.
Grade: A-
***
Anyone But You
So after seeing Glen Powell in Everybody Wants Some!!, I became intrigued by (i.e. crushing on) the up-and-coming movie star. He recently starred opposite Sydney Sweeney in this romantic comedy, based loosely on the Shakespeare comedy Much Ado About Nothing. Even though I famously hate romantic comedies, I figured I'd give it a watch.
It was...ok. Powell is really good in it because he radiates a mixture of charm, smarm, and overall good-guy decency. I can see why he is climbing the ranks of Hollywood right now. He's a classic Hollywood leading man. Sweeney isn't bad--she holds her own against Powell and the two have really excellent chemistry. The initial meet-cute between Ben and Bea and their first conflict is actually pretty believable: she runs into a coffee shop asking to use the bathroom and they refuse to give her the bathroom key until she buys something...but the checkout line is 20 people deep. Ben sees her distress and asks for a peppermint tea for "my wife" indicating Bea, allowing her to grab the key and run to the bathroom.
Bea and Ben have immediate chemistry and spend the day hanging out together and fall asleep together while talking. But Bea makes the strange decision to leave before Ben wakes up. Upon waking, Ben is distressed and feels used. When his friend Pete shows up, he tells him he couldn't wait to get Bea to leave--that she's "a disaster" and "she's nothing"....little does he know that Bea realized the mistake she made, returned to say goodbye, and overheard everything.
Months later, the two meet again when Bea's sister Halle begins dating friend Pete's sister Claudia. And then a year or so after that, Bea and Ben find themselves on a plane to Australia to participate in Claudia and Halle's wedding. After their pushy parents and friends keep trying to interfere, Bea and Ben begrudgingly decide to pretend to be a couple to shut everyone up and keep the brides-to-be happy and calm.
Anyone But You is contrived, ridiculous, not funny (or only funny in a "sensible chuckle" sort of way), and everyone's problems could be solved with a single, honest conversation...in other words, it's a typical romantic comedy! The film is held aloft on the strength of the chemistry of its leads. The rest of the cast is mediocre at best and the worst thing about the movie is its goddamn RELENTLESS soundtrack. Basically every scene in the movie is paired with a not-good pop song, which is distracting and irritating.
Fans of romcoms will likely enjoy Anyone But You. Hell, I didn't hate it. If it had better music and funnier jokes, I probably would have really liked it.
Grade: B-
***
The Feeling That the Time for Doing Something Has Passed
For a movie with such a long title, Joanna Arnow's The Feeling That the Time for Doing Something Has Passed is a wisp of a film. The movie is so low-key that it barely even exists. And, strangely enough, I saw it by myself in a completely empty movie theatre (though I've gotten close, I've never managed to be the only person in a movie theatre for the entirety of a movie until this one). It felt oddly appropriate.
The movie follows Ann (played by Arnow), an unremarkable thirty-something woman who lives a very mundane life. She works a corporate job, has dinner with her aging parents, and has a very low-commitment, low-energy Dom/sub relationship with an older guy named Allen. She also dates a few other guys and eventually meets Chris, with whom she has a genuine connection.
Each individual scene in this movie is about the length of a Mitch Hedberg joke. I don't think a single scene lasted more than 3 minutes and most were about 30 seconds long. It's like a series of one-liners. The movie is, frankly, very boring. There is no plot, little to no character development, no climax to the film. There are a few scenes that are more satisfying that others: for example, a scene where Ann's dad sings a pro-union song while her mom bangs on a pot and Ann leaves the room in annoyance. I liked that scene because it was genuinely funny and goofy. There's also a scene where Ann coaches Chris on how to dominate her and treat her like a sex object (which is what she likes). That scene had a real sweetness to it. But these moments are few and far between.
Sex and BDSM play a significant role in the film and I appreciated the depiction of "deviant" sexuality as boring and silly. Not because I believe BDSM actually is boring and silly, but because it demystifies the whole thing and shows people who like a little power exchange in their romantic lives and sex lives to be the same old regular people as anyone else. There's a power in taking something taboo and making it mundane.
I didn't hate this movie, but I can't recommend it. People who are into low-key "hangout" type films might dig it, but the majority of viewers will find it to be a snoozefest.
Grade: C+
***
The Coffee Table
This Spanish film, which came out a couple years ago, is making its rounds on TikTok as the disturbing movie du jour, so of course I had to check it out. All I knew was that it was about a couple that buys a coffee table and it ruins their lives. And if you want to check it out, you should probably go in knowing as little as possible--that's if you enjoy upsetting movies that make you feel upsetting things. If you don't like upsetting movies, then The Coffee Table certainly isn't the one to start with. And if you suspect you might be triggered by this one...eh, just stay away. That's my fair warning.
**slight spoilers ahead**
The thing is, the couple that buys the table have a newborn baby. The salesperson keeps emphasizing the "unbreakable glass" of the table. I mean you pretty much know EXACTLY what's going to happen before it happens. I will say that the scene in which the obvious thing happens is deeply, deeply tense in a palpable way. I was holding my breath waiting for the thing I knew was going to happen to happen. Then it did. And the rest of the movie is the fallout from that event.
The Coffee Table doesn't pull any punches. It's a mean movie with a fucked up sense of humor. I didn't love it, but it definitely made me feel things and left an impression. Probably one I'm never going to watch again.
Grade: B
***
Bull Durham
After seeing Challengers, I was in the mood for another sexually-charged sports movie with a love triangle. Well, Bull Durham is good but it's no Challengers. Annie Savoy (Susan Sarandon) is a "baseball groupie" who picks one player on the Durham Bulls per year to sleep with and also mentor (by coaching them on how to improve their skills, since she actually does know a lot about baseball, but also by reading them the poetry of Walt Whitman). This year, she has two prospects: rookie pitcher "Nuke" Laloosh (Tim Robbins), who has a powerful arm but no discipline and veteran player "Crash" Davis (Kevin Costner), who is called in by the Bulls' coach to help whip Laloosh into shape.
Even though Annie picks Laloosh (and has a commitment to remain faithful for the duration of the season), she and Davis grow closer together. Similarly, Laloosh begins to trust Davis and allows Davis to actually coach him and teach him "not to think" so that he pitches with more intuition and less anxiety.
My issue with Bull Durham is that there is too much baseball. And I don't like baseball. I have a personal boundary around attending baseball games (which means: I don't). Sports in general don't interest me, but baseball is particularly boring. No shade to baseball fans! It's just not for me. The thing about Challengers is that even though it's about tennis, it's not really about tennis...it's about relationships. And I guess Bull Durham is also about relationships, but actual discussion of baseball as a sport takes up WAY too much time in the movie. So, sadly, this classic comedy just wasn't my bag. I'm glad I gave it a watch though!
Grade: B-
***
A League of Their Own
Well, now, hold on just a darn minute. Here's a baseball movie I actually like! And it even has actual baseball in it! But we all know that A League of Their Own is about WAY more than sports. It's about feminism, sisterhood, teamwork, and Tom Hanks playing the crass Jimmy "no crying in baseball" Dugan.
This was not my first time watching A League of Their Own, but it had been a while and I'm so glad I returned to it. It's such a fulfilling movie. It's got such a good heart. The year is 1943 and since all the young, athletic men are at war, Chicago Cubs owner Walter Harvey wants to put a league of girl baseball players together. Sisters Dottie Hinson (Geena Davis) and Kit Keller (Lori Petty) are recruited...but it's more like Dottie is recruited for both her hitting skills and extremely beautiful looks and she'll only participate if kid sister Kit (a skilled pitcher in her own right) is also recruited. Thus we see the dynamic that has been thrust upon the sisters: Dottie is the beautiful, tall, talented sister and Kit is shorter, less polished runt who lives in Dottie's shadow, much to her chagrin.
The sisters find themselves on the Rockford Peaches team along with tomboy Doris Murphy (Rosie O'Donnell), sexpot Mae (Madonna), and a host of other interesting and talented women. Their manager is the once very impressive, now very drunk Jimmy Dugan (Tom Hanks), who is more interested in scratching his balls than coaching. So Dottie basically has to lead the team, creating lineups and giving signals to the players.
I'm not going to go into the entire plot because you've probably already seen it. In order to be taken seriously, the Peaches have to *both* be excellent players *and* exploit their looks and femininity. What I really love about A League of Their Own is that there the characters represent a range of ways to be a woman and although there are some unfortunate "she ugly" jokes aimed at poor Marla Hooch (Megan Cavanagh), the gals themselves don't put down or judge one another for the ways they choose to present themselves. And Marla Hooch falls in love and gets married, so ha!
A League of Their Own is a wonderful film about what can be accomplished when women lift up, support, and encourage other women. Definitely one to show your daughters--and your sons!
Grade: A-
***
The Green Mile
I was 11 years old when Stephen King's The Green Mile was released in six installments. My mom purchased each of the six slim paperbacks and would leave them on her bedside table. I would sneak into her room and read them. I recall quite vividly feeling ill after reading about "The Bad Death of Eduard Delacroix" (iykyk). I don't remember if I read the entire book when I was 11. Probably not. I probably got a copy when I was a bit older, maybe 12 or 13, and read the entire thing. And it left quite an impression on me because I recently listened to the book on audio while traveling and could recall specific jokes or turns of phrase that had cracked me up as an impressionable tween.
King's The Green Mile is an A+ book. Although it is a classic example of the offensive "magical negro" trope, where a Black person exists mostly to teach white people a lesson, I can't deny the power of this book. It's funny, it's sad, it's horrific at times and tender at other time. I would highly recommend reading it!
The movie, on the other hand, is Oscar bait. Directed by Frank Darabont and starring Tom Hanks, David Morse, and the late Michael Clarke Duncan, The Green Mile is often groan-worthy. King's book has a certain dark sense of humor that balances out the heartstring-tugging aspects of the story. The movie is overly sincere and, frankly, not dark enough or raw enough. Like I said, it's Oscar bait...specifically, 1990s Oscar bait, which means that it's a serious film that you can take your grandma to.
Is it a horrible movie? No. It's fine. There are a few very emotional scenes, in particular the death of John Coffey, the large Black man with magical healing hands. Michael Clarke Duncan takes a character that could easily be a one-dimensional stereotype and infuses him with humanity and grace. Tom Hanks is Tom Hanks. It's not his best role. He's here to contribute to the Oscar campaign for the film. The real MVP of the movie, in my opinion, is Michael Jeter playing the aforementioned Eduard Delacroix, a prisoner on the Green Mile who is relentlessly bullied by one of the guards. Now there's a guy who can tug at your heartstrings, even while playing a rapist and murderer!
tl;dr: you do not need to see this movie. The book is much better. But if grandma wants to watch it, you can feel pretty assured that she won't be too offended by it.
Grade: B-
***
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