Satanic Threesome!

Movies: Late Night with the Devil, Immaculate, Satan Wants You

Over the past few years, springtime has become horror time. I'm not sure exactly when this trend began, but I do remember that when Get Out was released in March of 2017 it felt like a rare good film to drop in the first quarter of the year, a time when studios tend to dump garbage while saving the blockbusters for summer and the Oscar bait for fall and winter.

Since then, it at least feels like (I don't have the numbers to prove it) we get a couple solid horror movie releases every spring. 2024 is no different and I seized upon the opportunity to have a themed blog post about two very devilish/anti-Christian new releases as well as a 2023 documentary about the "Satanic panic" of the 1980s.

And my post is coming out just in time for Easter!

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Late Night with the Devil

First up we have a little horror movie that seemed to spring up out of nowhere only to be immediately beset with controversy for the film's use of three interstitial title cards that were made using generative AI. I am perhaps slightly less upset by AI than the average cinephile because I am required to learn about it and face it head on in my job so it's less of a boogeyman to me. Still, there are concerning ethical issues regarding the use of AI in art and film--specifically, that it is a way to hire fewer people and pay them less. So I agree that directors Cameron and Colin Cairnes fucked up in their decision to use GenAI to make these title cards rather than just hire an artist to do it.

However, that didn't stop me from seeing Late Night with the Devil and I'm glad I saw it because it's really great. The movie opens with a voiceover explaining that in the 1970s the host of the late night show Night Owls, Jack Delroy (David Dastmalchian--more about him later), was competing with other late night shows for views. Specifically, Delroy wanted to steal the number one late night spot from The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. Delroy was also dealing with personal issues: his wife, Madeleine (Georgina Haig), died of lung cancer despite being a non-smoker. But after some time away from the spotlight Delroy was back hosting Night Owls and was more popular than ever.

Then, on the fateful night of October 31, 1977, things went horribly wrong on Night Owls. And what we the audience are about to see is recovered footage from that show in which Delroy brings on a parapsychologist, Dr. June Ross-Mitchell (Laura Gordon), and 13 year old Lilly D'Abo (Ingrid Torelli), a girl rescued from a house of Satan worshippers who now claims she can commune with demons. 

What I loved about Late Night with the Devil is that it felt both familiar and new at the same time. All the beats of the film were a little predictable, but in a way that was delightful and pleasurable to watch. For example, Delroy's first guest of the evening is a psychic named Christou (Fayssal Bazzi). The minute he came out, I was like "ah, here is the psychic who is clearly a charlatan...but something ACTUALLY SPOOKY will happen to him". Well...that's exactly what happened. However, my ability to predict (maybe a little of Christou's powers rubbed off on me) didn't annoy me. It felt satisfying. 

Despite its short run time, Late Night with the Devil is a slow burn. It takes a while to get where it's going, but has a lot of creepy moments along the way. I appreciated this. The film was not dull or slow at all...it felt like slowly unwrapping a present you know you're going to like. And the climax is awesome. 

The film is headed by actor David Dastmalchian, a character actor who is in EVERYTHING (some of his more recent films credits include Oppenheimer, the Ant-Man movies, and Weird: The Al Yankovich Story). It's awesome that he finally got a lead role in a movie that feels tailored to his unique blend of charisma and creepiness. He is excellent as Jack Delroy, a man whose ambitions lead him down a dark path.

Late Night with the Devil is a stand out in a year that has already seen some really awesome movies. I had such a great time watching this in the theatre and I'm already psyched to watch it again when it hits Shudder in April. 

Grade: A-

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Immaculate

Immaculate, starring Sydney Sweeney as the prettiest nun ever, has received some interesting press recently. Christians and "anti-woke" Twitter warriors are calling it "blasphemous", "feminist", and "evil". Of course, these same words are now being used to promote the film: "see the film Christians are calling 'blasphemous' this Easter!" You gotta love it. 

The fact is, Immaculate is more retro than progressive, at least in the sense that it recalls Italian giallo and gothic horror of the 1970s. "Eurotrash" is a pretty apt description. Basically, the movie is very pretty and has a lot of pretty women being tortured and running around half naked. It's really fun. 

Fun, but deeply unrealistic. Sweeney plays Sister Cecilia, a young nun from the United States who moves to a convent in the Italian countryside after her parish in the states shuts down. This particular convent serves as assisted living/hospice for older nuns who are close to death. Interestingly enough, many young, attractive nuns also live there. 

A few months into her stay, Cecilia begins having strange symptoms and it turns out that she is, well, pregnant. She is also a virgin. The church declares her pregnancy a miracle and Cecilia is now treated as a precious vessel to be revered and protected at all costs. But that protection comes at the price of her freedom. When she asks to go to a real hospital, she is denied that request. When she attempts to trick the Father who oversees the convent into bringing her to a hospital, he brands the soles of her feet to punish her and remind her not to stray. Immaculate has a feminist, pro-choice message and boy is it heavy-handed. Big Handmaid's Tale vibes.

The reveal about exactly how Cecilia got pregnant is...unsatisfying. It involves science but they don't really explain the science, so I was like "and...how...does that work?" But, look, Immaculate is "Rosemary's Baby, But Make it Catholic", not a show on the Discovery Channel, so I guess it doesn't owe us an explanation. People are here for Sweeney's boobies, not a biology lesson! 

The final scene of the movie is the one that the haters are most angry about and you can guess what happens from a mile away, which didn't stop people in my movie theatre from gasping in horror when it happened. I will say this: Sweeney is not the best actor, in my opinion, but she is a great screamer. Her screams are true and real and from the gut. 

Immaculate is a fun, gory, trashy movie that takes a lot of inspiration from better movies. Is it feminist? Sure. Is it pro-choice? ...kinda? Is it accurate in its depictions of the Catholic church? EXTREMELY DOUBTFUL. Even this Methodist-turned-agnostic was like "yeah, they wouldn't let a novice nun handle a religious relic with her bare hands". But we're not here for realism, we're here to see a sexy nun covered in blood run screaming through the catacombs. And Immaculate definitely delivers.

Grade: B

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Satan Wants You

In 1980 Michelle Smith and psychiatrist Dr. Lawrence Pazder co-authored a book titled Michelle Remembers. It chronicles Smith's work with Pazder in uncovering memories she supposedly repressed from when she was 5 years old. Smith claims that she was essentially sold to a group of Satanists and used in Satanic rituals. These rituals included animal sacrifice, the murder of babies, sexual abuse, and violence. Yet, Smith emerged from her ordeal without a scar on her body because she was visited by the Virgin Mary who saved her and healed her wounds.

Smith also didn't have any scars because none of this actually happened. 

However, not only did Smith and Pazder's claim that her story was true, they also claimed that groups of Satanists all over the United States and Canada were currently doing the exact same thing to thousands--nay, millions--of children at this very moment. 

The runaway success of Michelle Remembers kicked off the "Satanic panic" which peaked in the 80s, but still exists to this day (accusations of Hillary Clinton drinking the blood of children sound familiar?). Accusations of ritualistic sexual abuse were flung at daycare providers, some of whom spent years behind bars after unethical psychiatrists coaxed false memories out of children to fit the narrative that grown-ass people created. There's a lot more information here if you want to read about it, but it basically comes down to a bunch of self-righteous nutcases ruining peoples lives because they were hysterical, gullible, and just plain stupid. 

Satan Wants You is a documentary that connects the Satanic panic directly to the publication and success of Michelle Remembers. One thing I never knew was that Smith and Pazder were both married (to other people) when they were engaging in the years-long work of "recovering" memories and they ended up divorcing their spouses and marrying each other. So obviously that boundary between doctor and patient got very blurry. Pazder's daughter and ex-wife and Michelle's sister are interviewed and they reveal how much Pazder wanted to be famous. They speculate that he used Michelle to achieve his goal of fame. In doing so, he not only destroyed his own family, but an untold number of families affected by the hysteria of the panic.

Over 40 years later, Michelle Remembers has essentially been debunked. Smith never admitted to making anything up, but the claims she makes are just too outlandish. Even if she was abused as a child (definitely possible, especially given that her dad was a violent alcoholic), she was almost certainly not the captive of a Satanic cult who rubbed mashed up fetus on her or anything like that. We also know that the psychological practice of helping children "recover" memories is deeply suspect. Adults can lead children to the answer they want to hear and children want to please adults so they agree with the suggestions that adults make. And as for adults with "recovered" memories...some of those were recovered under hypnosis, when the patient is in a deeply suggestible state. And some adults just want attention, validation, and sympathy--and will make up stories to get it. 

Despite the fact that we as a society should "know better" now, we are arguably more gullible than ever. The psychological and social factors that led to thousands of accusations of Satanic ritual abuse are the same factors that lead people to believe, with zero evidence, that the 2020 election was "stolen" or that Pizzagate is real. You don't need evidence when you have faith and prejudice. It's terrifying to think about, but it's also all too human. Our brains are wired to suspect and fear outsiders and to go along with the crowd in order to not have the mob turn on us. It's what was behind witch hunts, McCarthyism, and any kind of rigid groupthink. 

Satan Wants You is a solid documentary that lets the facts (or lack thereof) speak for themselves. I found the interviews with those closest to Smith and Pazder to be the most interesting, but the filmmakers also interview police involved in investigations into Satanic ritual abuse and members of the *real* Church of Satan (way less scary than you'd think). 

Grade: B+