Monday, October 3, 2022

(Literal) Bromance

Movie: Bros

Bros is being marketed as "the first gay romantic comedy from a major studio featuring an entirely LGBTQ principal cast". I don't know what's more remarkable: the previous sentence itself or the fact that it took until 2022 for the previous sentence to become a reality.

Gay rights has always been a big thing with me. I'm (mostly) not gay, but I had a lot of gay friends growing up and when you spend your life caring about gay people and seeing them as, you know, human beings, giving a shit about gay rights is part of the package. But to be clear: I'm not special because I care about gay rights. I pass the bare minimum to not be a shitty human being because I care about gay rights. Sadly, though, many people cannot even clear a bar so low, it's underground. And, in America at least, this is mostly due to the influence of evangelical Christianity. 

The fact that Bros is about cisgender, white, conventionally attractive men is no accident. This subgroup within the rainbow of diversity that is LGBTQ+ is, by and far, the most privileged group. And the film is aware of this, as it opens with Bobby, played by Billy Eichner (who co-wrote the script), recording his podcast which is titled "The 11th Brick" since, as Bobby puts it, a transwoman of color probably threw the first brick at Stonewall, and it was certainly a white cisgender man who threw the 11th brick.

I don't think we should hate Bros for being about a privileged group--it's doing the work. Not all of the work, but some of it. Different people will have different opinions, but I think a "mainstream" movie in which men unabashedly make out, do poppers, talk about not just homophobia, but the specific nuances of homophobia that they, and their friends, have experienced, and also get a happy ending is really fucking cool. The film certainly doesn't feel "toned down" to appease a straight audience. 

At the same time, Bros is a pretty "traditional" romcom in that it hits all the familiar beats we've come to expect in the genre: the men at the center of the romance, Bobby and Aaron (Eichner and Luke Macfarlane--both out gay actors), kind of hate each other at first, then fall for each other, then have the Big Mis (or "big misunderstanding"), then there is a very big and public romantic gesture, and then they make up get back together. The "types" the characters inhabit--Bobby is intellectual, grumpy, "totally happy" being alone, sarcastic, etc while Aaron is basic, model-level beautiful, warm, and open--are pretty common to romances. Also, the relatively easy, White Middle Class lives of the men is a common thing seen in romcoms. Bros is comfort food, guys, you're not going to see a lot of tropes thrown out the window here.

And there is something radical in taking something still (STILL!!!) considered "deviant" by a not small portion of society and showing that it, too, is mundane. AND YET, right off the bat the film pokes what I think is gentle fun at Lin-Manuel Miranda's famous "Love is love is love is love" speech that he gave at the Tonys mere hours after the Pulse mass shooting. Bobby makes fun of "love is love" on his podcast saying "[gay men's] relationships are different, our sex lives are different..." and the film, indeed, turns some basics of straight romantic comedy upside down, especially in how Bobby and Aaron negotiate nonmonogamy within their budding romance. 

I think Bros deftly (and not always perfectly) walks that line between honoring the uniqueness of gay men's relationships while still showing that, yes, love is a human universal and we all deserve to be loved well. The Big Mis focuses on a specific aspect of gay culture* --the difference between straight-passing gay guys and "gay-acting" gay guys. Basically, Bobby is more "gay acting" and his job literally revolves around gay history, as he is a curator for the first ever national LGBTQ+ history museum. Aaron is more "straight passing" and his job (lawyer) and hobbies (the gym, the music of Garth Brooks) is more, well, butch. Aaron asks Bobby to "tone it down" while meeting Aaron's parents, and you can guess how well that goes.

The trope of someone is being "too much" is fairly common within romcoms, but this particular interpretation of that trope is unique to the LGBTQ+ experience. I doubt straight people worry about their partner being "too straight" while meeting the parents.

That is what I love about Bros--it reflects (some aspects of) gay culture back at us, while also reflecting back some of the universal experiences gay and straight people share: being vulnerable is hard. Accepting others as they are is important to making a relationship work. Love is love is love. But also, love is not love is not love. Both are true.

The only things I didn't like about Bros are: 1) it's bit too self-aware in a way that comes off as cutesy or twee sometimes, 2) Billy Eichner really does pack the script with himself talking a mile a minute, forgetting to let the film breathe at times, and 3) uh, it's a romcom and I don't like romcoms. LOL.

But despite those little things, I really enjoyed Bros and would watch it again, which is the highest praise I can give a romantic comedy.

Grade: B+

*I make a lot of statements in this review about "gay culture" or "the gay experience" and I very much don't have that lived experience, so if I am talking out of my ass feel free to tell me so! 

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