Titane
Titane, directed by French filmmaker Julia Ducournau, is pretty much the definition of a provocative, subversive film. The only thing I knew going into it is that it had been compared to David Cronenberg's Crash, a film in which people are sexually aroused by car crashes (not the racist monstrosity Crash directed by Paul Haggis).
In Titane, protagonist Alexia is in a car crash at a young age and has to get a titanium plate put in her skull as a result. She grows up to be a model who, um, fucks cars. But if you think the car-fucking is the weirdest thing about this movie, you are dead wrong.
I'm going to post spoilers below, because some people who read this blog don't want to actually watch the freaky movies I talk about but still want to know the juicy details. However, if you're a cinephile, just trust me and watch the movie without knowing anything else.
Spoilers...
Spoilers...
As a result of fucking a car, Alexis becomes pregnant. Also, Alexis is basically a serial killer who kills random people for fun. After murdering a house of people, she flees her town, disfigures her appearance by shaving her head and breaking her nose (in one of many "watch through your fingers" moments in the movie) and claims to be the 17 year old missing son of a fire captain named Vincent. The missing son disappeared 10 years ago, so there is some plausibility that a woman in her 20s could make herself appear as a 17 year old boy. But the fact is, Vincent doesn't give a shit. He is on board that this person is his son. He needs to believe his son is back, just as Alexis needs someone to take her in.
/End spoilers
/End spoilers
Titane is one of the most unique movies I've seen and I was astonished by it. It's not a movie I'm going to rewatch often, if ever, and it is absolutely brutal in many scenes. But, my god, is it creative and batshit. Definitely worth the watch for fans of subversive cinema.
Grade: A
***
Benedetta
Now, here's a movie that had the potential to be subversive and ended up...not so much. Director Paul Verhoeven takes on the true story of Benedetta Carlini, a nun who lived in the late 16th/early 17th centuries. Benedetta was a mystic who claimed to have visions of Jesus. She was also a lesbian who had an affair with a fellow convent-dweller, Bartolomea.
Unfortunately, Verhoeven takes this incredibly interesting story and turns it into a softcore porno where a woman fucks another woman with a dildo carved out of a statue of the Virgin Mary.
Now don't get me wrong: I love a good blasphemous dildo-fucking! I am not offended, and, indeed, am into explicit sex and explorations of sexuality on film. But the kind of sex Benedetta (played by the angelic-looking Virginie Efira) and Bartolomea (Daphne Patakia) is 100% male gaze-y 100% of the time. We're talking rough boob-grabbing, and orgasms from penetration alone (from a wooden dildo no less). I've never had sex with a woman, but I've had sex AS a woman, and this ain't it. And I know enough about queer sex to know that queer people are going to watch this and fucking laugh their asses off at how ridiculous it is. Queer people reading this--please correct me if I'm wrong!
Now, as for the non-sex parts of the film, which involve Benedetta claiming to have stigmata and visions of Christ...it's not too bad. I mean, everyone is way too pretty and clean to look like they're living in a 1600s convent, but other than that, the politics of the convent, the ways the various women vie for power in a deeply patriarchal society--that shit is actually interesting. So I can't judge the movie TOO harshly.
Do I recommend it? Suuuureee. It's fun, it's campy, it's got a lot of tits in it. So there are definitely reasons to watch this film. But don't expect to have your mind blown.
Grade: C+
***
The Beta Test
Last year, I watched an excellent horror-comedy film called The Wolf of Snow Hollow. It was written by, directed by, and starring Jim Cummings (not to be confused with the well-known voice actor). Not only is Cummings hot in that really annoying alpha male way, he's insanely talented! So when I heard that a new film, The Beta Test, written, directed, and starring the very same, I was so excited to watch it.
And while The Beta Test is good...it also feels deeply unsatisfying. The film focuses on a man named Jordan Hines (Cummings), a Hollywood talent agent who is incredibly good looking (seriously guys, Google this man), successful, rich, and also engaged to a lovely woman, Caroline (Virginia Newcomb). This dude is white privilege personified. So, of course, when he gets an letter in the mail inviting him to a rendezvous with an "anonymous admirer" in a fancy hotel, he immediately throws the card away, knowing no good will come of it!
LOL, of course he RSVPs "yes"! During the hookup, he is required to wear a blindfold, as is the woman he is meeting. From our perspective as the viewer, the hookup seems straightforward enough. But as soon as the post-nut clarity sets in, Jordan becomes increasingly paranoid: what if this is a blackmail scheme? What if he gets "MeTooed"? What if someone else was in the room with him and the woman? What if they have photos? Jordan is already a dick, but his paranoia causes him to become insufferable and put his job and relationship in jeopardy.
The ending, in my opinion, is incredibly anti-climatic. I feel like Jim Cummings had the opportunity to say something profound about Hollywood, sexual harassment, and white, male privilege--especially as he, Cummings, is in Hollywood but also doing his own shit. He's an auteur and presumably beholden to no one. But he kind of fumbles whatever message he is trying to get across in the end. In fact, it's not clear what the message or moral of The Beta Test is.
I will say, the movie is funny and entertaining. It also has a very triggering opening scene where a woman is brutally murdered...so be careful with that. I am inclined to be forgiving of this movie because I think Cummings has a lot of talent and promise...I hope his next film is closer to The Wolf of Snow Hollow than The Beta Test.
Grade: B
***
Cherry Falls
Cherry Falls is a 2000 teen slasher film starring the late, very missed Brittany Murphy. Though the film has many teen slasher cliches, the premise has a huge twist: the serial killer on the loose targets virgins. Murphy plays Jody, the (yes, virginal) daughter of the town sheriff. After multiple teens are killed, the sheriff calls a town meeting and reveals the killer's modus operandi--they carve the word "virgin" into the victim's body...and the female victims are, uh, intact. We're not going to get into a hymen/anatomy lesson here, so for the sake of staying on topic: yes, all the victims, male and female, have never had penis-in-vagina heterosexual intercourse.
Well, as soon as the teens find out, they immediately plan a "pop your cherry" party to make sure they don't make the killer's shortlist. Jody, meanwhile, is attacked by the killer but escapes. She is able to describe the attacker: a person with long, stringy black hair with a gray streak, dark nail polish, and combat boots. She overhears a private conversation between her father and the high school principal saying that the artist's sketch based on Jody's description looks strikingly similar to a woman named Lora Lee Sherman. Who is Lora Lee Sherman? Is she indeed the killer? What is the relationship between this woman, the sheriff, and the principal? And will Jody lose her virginity before it's too late? You'll have to watch to find out!
Cherry Falls absolutely has a ton of regressive stereotypes about men and women, and the queer-coded individuals...well, let's just say the movie completely blows any decent queer representation. Still, there is a streak of subversion within this otherwise cliched teen scream of a film. Cherry Falls represents a slightly edgier take on the teen slasher and is delightfully campy. If you're in the mood for a retro throwback (or millennial nostalgia), Cherry Falls is a really fun slasher pic.
Grade: B
***
Inherent Vice
Inherent Vice is a neo-noir comedy directed by Paul Thomas Anderson. It's based on the book by Thomas Pynchon and I can barely tell you what it's about because the film has so many characters, so many twists and turns, that you pretty much have to accept that you're going to get lost in the whole mess. It's a prime example of a "shaggy dog tale". And the "dog" in question is Larry "Doc" Sportello (Joaquin Phoenix, playing an extremely chill dude for a change), a private eye living in the early 70s in Los Angeles. Doc's ex-girlfriend, Shasta (Katherine Waterson), tells him about her new lover, a real estate tycoon named Micky Wolfmann. She asks Doc to help prevent a scheme in which Mickey's wife and her lover plan to commit Mickey to an insane asylum and, I guess, take control of his money.
There are also multiple sub-plots where Doc is hired by different people to find different missing persons...but all threads seem to lead to drug-smuggling operation called "The Golden Fang" who use "vertical integration"--i.e. they sell their drugs and then when those drugs cause negative physical and mental health side effects, they sell the cure (dentistry and a rehabilitation center in this case). It all turns out to be very clever in the end, but the journey there labyrinthian.
I didn't love Inherent Vice, though it certainly had some hilarious moments and it has a huge cast of great actors. I will likely try watching it again because Paul Thomas Anderson movies never seem "good" the first time I watch them, but upon repeat viewings, they sometimes skip right over "good" and into the "great" category. Until then, I would say that Inherent Vice is a sometimes delightfully muddled film...and sometimes just a muddle.
Grade: B-
***
Cyrano
So, I went into Joe Wright's musical adaptation the Edmond Rostand's 1897 play Cyrano de Bergerac only knowing the first half of the plot: a witty, intelligent, yet "unattractive" man, Cyrano, agrees to write love letters to the woman he loves--Roxane--on behalf of a not-so-witty, but handsome man, Christian, who also loves Roxane. I mean, if that plot doesn't scream FRENCH FARCE I don't know what does!
Uh, but it turns out that Cyrano is a tragedy with a heavy moral lesson. In the original play, Cyrano's big imperfection is that he has an abnormally large nose. In Joe Wright's version, Cyrano is a dwarf, played by who else but Peter Dinklage. Unstated, but definitely in the subtext, is the fact that Peter Dinklage is very handsome--and he plays the talented, snarky, witty Cyrano so easily because Dinklage is talented, snarky, and witty. But is he any match for Kelvin Harrison Jr. as Christian de Neuvillette? Harrison Jr. is devastatingly handsome any way you slice it. He has kind eyes and a warm smile. But unfortunately, he is terrible with words. And Roxane's (played by fresh-faced, angelic Haley Bennett) love language is verbal affirmation, bitch!
So the farce part of the movie plays out with Cyrano writing letters on Christian's behalf. In one scene, Christian stands below Roxane's balcony while Cyrano whispers the words he so dearly wishes HE could say to Roxane.
But the second half of the movie is a stone cold tragedy. Roxane has yet another admirer--De Guiche (Ben Mendelsohn), a classic villain. He is a nobleman, he is rich, he is old and ugly, and he is a predatory prick. When he finds out that Roxane has her heart set on Christian, he sends the King's Guard (of which both Christian and Cyrano are part) to the front lines of the war their country is battling, knowing that survival is unlikely.
The moral lesson at the heart of Cyrano is that Cyrano loves his pride more than he loves Roxane. He is so scared of being rejected that he never even tries to tell her his feelings. There's definitely a lesson here about "the friend zone" and men projecting their own self-resentments onto women, but I doubt the incel and red pill crowd is going to see this movie.
Cyrano has great acting and a hell of a final scene. The musical aspect...meh. I found the songs stilted and hackneyed. Many of the songs did that thing where they just describe what's happening. Like, Cyrano will just straight up sing "I love Roxane/but I am not a fool to think she'll ever love a man like me/so I will write these letters/signed by another" (I just made that up, but that's literally what the songs sound like). A Lin-Manuel Miranda production this is NOT!
That said, if you like romantic tear-jerkers/Peter Dinklage, you're probably going to find something to appreciate about Cyrano. And the cinematography is stunning. Stun. Ning.
Grade: B-
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