Movies: I'm Your Man (2021)
Maria Schrader's film I'm Your Man, much like Spike Jonze's Her, explores the concept of a human having a relationship with a computer. Although the computer is much more attractive in I'm Your Man.
Alma, played by Maren Eggert, is an archaeologist who specializes in researching instances of poetry and metaphors in ancient cuneiform. She's also single as a pringle and NOT ready to mingle. She's married to her work. However, her boss is on the ethics committee for a new technology: humanoid robots who are programmed to be ideal life partners for humans. He asks Alma to test one of the robots out for three weeks and write him a review. In exchange, he'll grant her funding for a trip to Chicago for her research (just LOL at this guy serving on an ethics committee and bribing his underling into testing a sex robot out).
Alma reluctantly agrees and is introduced to Tom (Dan Stevens), programmed to be her perfect partner in every way, right down to the fact that he speaks German with an English accent because Alma likes men who are a little foreign...but just a little.
Hijinks obviously ensue. Alma is put off by how perfect Tom is (he tidies her apartment and makes a huge breakfast their first morning together) and yet how "off " he is (he can recite poems by Rilke at the drop of a hat, but he doesn't understand sarcasm or metaphors). One night after getting drunk, Alma yells at Tom and throws wine on him, and then kisses him and tried to sleep with him...but he simply puts Alma to bed and refuses to have sex with her, despite her screeches of "I command you to stay! You were built for me!". Clearly, even though Tom is a robot, he's not Alma's slave and he is able to make "the best" decision in the moment, even if it's not what Alma wants.
The film plays out like a rom-com, but the subtext of the movie is much, much deeper and doesn't really take a stance on whether or not humanoid companions would be good or bad for humans.
(ending spoilers)
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I found the final 20 minutes to be especially interesting in how contradictory the movie's message seems to be. Alma breaks up with Tom and makes him leave. Later that night, she gives a lecture and meets an older man with a companion robot. The man explains to Alma that all his life, people seemed to "run from him" and not treat him kindly, and he didn't know if it was his looks or pheromones or what. But now this robot has made him so happy and given him love and kindness no human ever did. The female robot looks at him and says "you deserve to be treated kindly". It's a very sweet moment.
...and then Alma writes her evaluation to her boss, warning him that humanoid robots would NOT be good for society and would create a "society of addicts" who would be wary and depressed after having all their needs met at the push of a button.
...and then she goes and finds Tom. End of movie.
Watching it, I felt mad at Alma for writing that negative review, which might lead to that old man losing his robot companion...but I also AGREED with assessment of the robots. But also, like, I kinda disagreed! I love movies that make me feel this way (like Midsommar), where I kind of see both sides to something. I don't always like it when a concept is spoonfed as either "good" or "bad" to me. I was also annoyed at Alma being a hypocrite and going after Tom...but I also understood! So many conflicting feelings!
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/Spoilers
I really respected that Schrader captured the undeniable and innate ambiguity in the issue at the heart of the movie. It's not so much a question of CAN a human love a robot (to me, that answer is obviously yes, since humans can love many non-human and even non-animal things) but rather, would it be healthy for a person to be given their ideal partner and wouldn't doing so make it easy for people to never change, never improve, and never question themselves? Relationships can bring out the worst in us, but they can also inspire us to be better. I know that in the best relationships I've had, I've genuinely wanted to be a better version of myself for the other person--more loving, more kind, more patient. If my partner were a robot tailored to my needs, why would I ever seek to improve?
The only easy answer is to watch this movie! I can't recommend it enough. I'm You Man is funny, thought-provoking, sweet, and poetic. Never schmaltzy or preachy. It's just a really great film that makes you ponder the nature of love and what makes a human, well, human.
Grade: A
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