Gross Anatomy

Movies: Wetlands

Warning: graphic descriptions of gross and inappropriate behavior in this review.

The German film Wetlands, based on the controversial 2008 novel by Charlotte Roche, is an excellent follow-up to the last movie I reviewed, Fifty Shades of Grey. Where Fifty Shades attempts to appropriate feminism for its own capitalistic, male-focused brand of "sex positivity", Wetlands takes all those middle-class, clean, quiet values about sex what it means to be a "good" (non-threatening) feminist and shoves them where the sun don't shine.

Literally. This film involves a TON of shoving things into orifices where the sun don't shine. Wetlands follows 18 year old Helen, a young woman who disdains any and all forms of hygiene. Being taught as a child that vaginas are hard to keep clean by her clean-freak mother, Helen now engages in behaviors such as rubbing her vulva on dirty public toilet seats, swapping (used) tampons with her best friend and "blood sister", Corinna, and masturbating with a variety of vegetables.

But despite Helen's anti-social gross-out behavior, she still has a sensitive heart. Her mom and dad got divorced when she was a child and her fondest wish is for them to get back together. When Helen ends up in the hospital after a shaving accident (where the sun don't shine), she conspires to surreptitiously get her parents back together by asking them to visit her at the hospital at the same time. She also seduces her handsome male nurse, Robin, during her hospital stay.

You might ask why would I want to watch a movie about a girl who engages in objectively disgusting behavior and where the main event that moves the plot forward is a anal shaving accident. Good question! For one thing, if you can get over the gross-out scenes, Wetlands is actually really fun. It's so very, very different from any movie I've seen before. And it's weirdly feminist. Helen doesn't give a shit about what anyone thinks. She rejects religion, cleanliness, and manners. She seduces men with abandon and experiments with sex. But she's also a typical young woman who fights with her mom, is disappointed in her lothario dad, gets jealous of her best friend, and acts protective of her little brother. So, Wetlands takes a typical young adult heroine and turns her into something we've never seen before.

While Wetlands is certainly novel, it's also fairly shallow. Helen aches to get her parents back together, but given that they are so obviously a terrible match for each other, it's hard to understand why she's so invested in it. A scene at the end reveals a terrifying and tragic event from Helen's childhood that might explain her strange behavior, but it's thrown in right at the end and never properly explored. The film ends with Helen getting a ride out of the hospital with Robin. It's cool to see a hot guy paired with a gross (but otherwise conventionally attractive) woman...but their relationship lacks depth. Wetlands the novel was accused of being nothing but empty shock. I haven't read the book, but I'd say that the movie is about 75% shock value, 25% critique of gender/hygiene norms. The film is trying to say something about our society (or, German society), but it doesn't quite give us enough to work with.

For those with a strong stomach, Wetlands is a funny, quirky movie with a very unusual heroine. But don't expect it to change the world.

B-