Some movies you go into knowing exactly what you're going to get. Snakes on a Plane, for example. There is no one who went to that movie not understanding that they would be getting approximately 90 minutes of snakes causing havoc on a plane. Hot Tub Time Machine also lets it all hang out right there in the title. While Tusk doesn't give anything away by its title alone, read any basic two-line description of the film and you'll know exactly what you're in for: a man will be kidnapped and surgically turned into a walrus.
I heard about this movie for the first time on Wednesday and, as luck would have it, saw that the film was opening in my hometown this very weekend. I semi-dragged a semi-willing friend to see it and I can't say I was disappointed. At one point the villain asks the rhetorical question: "Is man really at heart a walrus?"
You might ask why I would want to see this movie. I ask: why wouldn't I? It stars hipster dreamboat Justin Long as the victim doomed to a life of blubber, Haley Joel Osment (aka the kid from The Sixth Sense, looking like an older, chubbier version of the kid from The Sixth Sense here), and a surprise cameo (although he's in a solid third of the movie, so it's more of a supporting role than a cameo) from a huge movie star as a private detective with a pretty offensive stereotypical French accent. It's also directed by Kevin Smith, who can be a surprising director (see my review of Red State). And did I mention that a dude gets surgically altered into a fucking walrus? It's like The Human Centipede but funnier and with less poop.
The first half of the film is actually pretty good by most standards. Justin Long plays Wallace Bryton, a guy who makes a living podcasting with his best friend Teddy (Osment). Their podcast is called "The Not-See Party" because it mostly involves Wallace showing weird/funny online videos to Teddy, who has not seen them yet. Wallace also travels around to interview the "stars" of these videos. He makes a trek to Canada to interview a kid who sliced his own leg off with a samurai sword, only to find that the young man has committed suicide with the very same sword. Wallace happens to find a handwritten note in a bar bathroom that evening from a man named Howard Howe promising wonderful stories from the his long life. Talented actor Michael Parks plays this old coot in such a way that elevates the character beyond what could have been a pretty weak "crazy old nut" role. But rest assured, the guy is insane. He woos Wallace with stories of meeting Hemingway during World War II before drugging the young man's drink and beginning the process of merging man...and mammal. Dun dun DUN!
Surprisingly, there's not a ton of gore in this film, and the gore you do see is so ridiculous that, frankly, I didn't find the film all that disturbing. Once you actually get to see Long all suited up in his walrus get-up, it's obviously meant to be hilarious. The big reveal was met with hysterical laughter in the theatre I was in. I mentioned The Human Centipede above, which I still have not seen. I was disturbed by hearing a friend simply describe the plot of Human Centipede, whereas I chortled my way through Tusk's supremely silly take on the "body horror" genre of film. Of course, standard caveats apply, your mileage may vary, you might find Tusk the freakiest movie this side of David Cronenberg, yada yada. But I saw this film as 40% horror and 60% comedy.
Once Michael Parks has fully transformed Wallace into "Mr. Tusk", the movie devolves very quickly into cringeworthy horror-parody. The second half of the film is significantly worse than the first half, although I did like the scenes with Teddy, Ally (Wallace's girlfriend), and Guy Lapointe, the beret-wearing, slider-devouring French detective. I can understand why others might not be as amused by Lapointe, but I thought he was funny.
Overall, Tusk is not a great--or even good--film. But I found it to be an entertaining curiosity of a movie. I'm going to give it a decent rating because it got some genuine laughs from me and didn't put on airs of being anything more than a movie about a dude who is forcibly turned into a walrus.
3.5 out of 5 stars
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