Wow. First off, let me say that The Cabin in the Woods is awesome. I did not want this movie to end. At various points during the film, I would think, "I wonder how much longer the movie is...I hope a lot, lot longer". If that doesn't get your butt to the theater, then perhaps the over 90% rating on Rotten Tomatoes will get you there.
Second, I want to say that it's best to go into The Cabin in the Woods with a blank or nearly-blank slate. There's not just a plot twist; there are several very complex plot twists that reveal themselves to the audience from very early on until the final minutes. And it's quite pleasurable to keep guessing throughout the film.
That said, this review will contain three levels of spoilers. The first will be the blank slate level: the very basic plot, without any twists. The second will reveal a twist that is pretty obvious from the get-go, and why this twist makes The Cabin in the Woods a unique take on horror movies. The third level will REVEAL ALL, and is only for people who already saw the movie or like to spoil things for themselves. How far you read is up to you.
Blank Slate review:
The Cabin in the Woods is a horror film from the minds Drew Goddard and Joss Whedon. Based on those credentials alone, you know it's going to be a smarter-than-average film. The movie stars some Whedonverse regulars, such as Fran Kranz of Dollhouse and Amy Acker of Angel and Dollhouse, so Whedon fans are likely to enjoy this movie.
The movie follows five college kids who decide to spend the weekend at a rustic cabin owned by a cousin of one of the kids. Right off the bat, you can tell that these college students fall into the typical horror movie archetypes: there's sexy Jules, her jock boyfriend Curt, their prim and naive friend Dana, intelligent Holden, and funny pothead Marty. At a crumbling gas station on the way to the cabin, the kids run into a decrepit geezer who spits and insults them and makes cryptic remarks regarding the cabin. When they get to said cabin, it's super-creepy and only gets creepier as the night wears on. So, basically the most cliched horror set-up possible...
...But things are not as they seem. High-off-his-butt Marty is suspicious about certain aspects of the cabin and of his friends' behavior, but the others laugh off his worries as pot-induced paranoia. Needless to say, there is something very wrong and very strange about the cabin...and the truth is revealed slowly and methodically.
If you are scared of horror movies, I have good and bad news. The bad news is that, yes, there are many jump scenes and traditional Hollywood horror type scares. The good news is that this horror is tempered by both the film's sharp sense of humor and the unique premise of the film. But that's all I'll say.
Now stop reading unless you want to be partially spoiled!
Level Two review:
Ok, so 30 seconds into The Cabin in the Woods, you already know something's up because the first scene involves a couple guys (the glorious Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford) in lab coats walking around a giant science-y looking facility while teasing each other and cracking wise. Not long into the movie, you realize these guys and the facility have a direct connection to the kids going to the cabin and what will happen when they get there. Thus the first "twist" is revealed (some secret group of people is controlling these kids' fates!) and the guessing game as to why begins: is it a reality show? Government testing? Rich people paying to see a "real-life" horror movie? At this point, The Cabin in the Woods is like the bastard child of Evil Dead and The Hunger Games.
The reason this twist makes The Cabin in the Woods so interesting is because it messes with and upends your expectations of the movie right from the very get-go (and not in a Scary Movie I-IV spoof kinda way). You realize these kids are being manipulated to act out the roles we would normally assign to stock horror characters (one example: the "slutty" character may not be all that slutty, but pheromones are pumped into the air to make her act wilder than usual). These unusual behaviors are commented on by Marty, who everyone conveniently ignores. So you spend the movie wondering what's going to happen next. How else will this movie surprise me? And, on a more existential level, you may ask yourself: how am I being manipulated into a role in everyday life? Not in a being brainwashed by the government kind of way, but simply, how do my preconceived notions about other people and their "types" (slut, jock, virgin, egghead, etc) force me to act and respond in a certain way? Deep, man. Marty would approve.
At this point, you're probably thinking of The Cabin in the Woods as about 30% fantasy/horror and 70% science-fiction/dystopia. That is, until the final twists happen...
ULTIMATE SPOILERS AHEAD!!
Level Three review:
An interesting thing about The Cabin in the Woods is how it plays with reality and fantasy. The group of men in the facility manipulate the kids into going into a creepy basement in the cabin. Each kid is drawn to an object and we find out later that each object represents a way that the kids will die. Dana is the first to pick up an old diary and begin to read from it; by doing so, she "chooses" the kids' fate: her reading of the diary awakens the souls of a family of zombies. For a while, I couldn't figure out if the zombies were actual zombies (which would make sense in a fantasy/horror film) or actors playing zombies (which would make sense of a science-y dystopia movie). But the zombies are real, and, as revealed later, just part of an entire vending machine of monsters the kids could have chosen from.
In the final third of the movie, the true nature of the facility is revealed and the shit *really* hits the fan when Marty and Dana--the only two survivors--fight back against the system. We find out that the kids who go to the cabin are selected for a ritual sacrifice to appease ancient gods. There is the Whore (Jules), who must die first. Then the Athlete (Curt), the Scholar (Holden), and the Fool (Marty) must also die. The Virgin's (Dana) death is optional, as long as she suffers. Thus, both the gods are appeased and the trope of the Final Girl that is so common in horror movies is realized.
As Marty and Dana make their way into the facility, the reality of the first twist hits them (they're being controlled by some government drones!), but they still don't know about the second twist: that they are part of a real horror story and if Marty doesn't die (remember, Dana is allowed to live as long as she's the final one left), the gods will destroy all of mankind. During their attempts to escape, Marty and Dana set loose all the possible creatures they could have chosen: werewolves, unicorns, "angry molesting trees", serial killers, and mermen, among others. This was a hilarious (and bloody) sequence which pokes fun of all types of horror movies while taking full advantage of their horror and gore. It's a comment on just how "fill in the number" horror movies can be (group of misbehaving, stereotypical teens + monster of the filmmaker's choice = gore!) and it's deliciously over the top.
But Cabin in the Woods keeps you guessing until the bitter end. After the whole sacrifice thing is explained to Marty and Dana, Dana has a moment of weakness where she nearly shoots Marty (only to be attacked by a stray werewolf at the last second!). Finally, Marty and Dana (bloody from the werewolf attack, but still alive) light up a joint and decide to let the angry gods destroy mankind. "It's time to let someone else have a chance" Marty remarks. But until that moment, I kept waiting for yet another twist. I thought that maybe the government people screwed up and that Marty was actually the Virgin, effectively bringing about the end of the world if Dana killed him first, thinking he was the Fool. I also thought that maybe in the absence of a sacrifice, nothing would happen. That it would be a commentary on violence in the name of blind religious belief or something. Or possibly that Dana would kill Marty and the cycle of sacrifice would continue. The movie had been so batshit crazy until that point, that I thought there would be some giant meta-meta-meta twist at the end. I was actually a little disappointed at the "angry gods kill everyone kthxbye!" ending. But the pleasure of guessing until the final minutes was so worth it.
Overall, The Cabin in the Woods was a fun and amazingly unique movie experience. It pokes fun at the horror genre while paying loving tribute to it as well. It is genuinely scary, but more often darkly funny. And it really gives new meaning to the saying, "Don't take life too seriously. None of us are going to make it out alive."
5 out of 5 stars
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