Water Water Everywhere

Movies: The Lighthouse

Robert Eggers' The Lighthouse is a difficult film to write a review about because the plot is pretty simple: a man goes absolutely apeshit in a lighthouse.

But this movie is so much more than that too. Eggers follows up his first film, the much beloved The VVitch, with another atmospheric, often difficult to understand (literally--I really would have appreciated subtitles) semi-horror story that just shrouds the audience in dread from start to finish. Filmed in rich black and white and at a 1:33 aspect ratio, The Lighthouse feels like a relic of cinema past.

Willem Dafoe and Robert Pattinson are Thomas Wake and Ephraim Winslow, respectively. For four weeks Winslow is to be under the tutelage of Wake, learning to be a wikie (lighthouse keeper), before he is assigned his own post. Wake gives Winslow all the back-breaking, shitty (literally) chores and generally treats Winslow like an indentured servant and Winslow puts up with it. This *is* the 1890s after all, and there aren't a ton of options for work. But over the weeks, the two men grow closer and develop a fondness for one another.

That is, until a storm hits the "rock" they're stuck on. Winslow is due to be fetched from his post and when the boat to retrieve him never arrives, seagull poo hits the fan very quickly.

The first hour of the film sets up the hierarchy between Winslow and Wake nicely, while the final 40 minutes effectively destroy any and all sense of hierarchy, rules, logic, and grasp on reality. There's a turning point in the film when Wake mentions rations to Winslow and Winslow replies "it's only been one day" (as in, one day since the boat that was supposed to ferry him away failed to show up). Wake chillingly replies that they've been stuck for weeks past the boat's due date and he's sick of Winslow's willful ignorance of that fact.

Things get more intense and more insane from there on out. The film is from Winslow's perspective but he's a hella unreliable narrator. He goes from a quiet, slightly annoyed lad to a raging lunatic, fantasizing about mermaid vaginas and confessing to watching a friend die at his previous post and only wanting a cigarette after.

Did I say "mermaid vagina"? The Lighthouse, in addition to being spooky and batshit insane, is also very funny, with fart jokes and jack-off jokes galore. The grandiose banter between the old salt and the pup are the stuff Oscar clips are made of as well.

This is just a good movie, guys, The visuals are stunning--the black and white imagery with shadows playing on Dafoe and Pattinson's haunted faces is mesmerizing. The acting is insanely good. Dafoe is a known quantity as a crusty ol' stereotype come to life and Pattinson once again proves he is no longer Edward Cullen in this terrifying and electric role.

My personal theory about this movie is that The Lighthouse is either purgatory or Hell. Given Pattison's sins revealed partway through the film, as well as the fudging of linear time, it makes sense that this place is a place of punishment for this man.

My advice is to not think too much and just see the movie and appreciate it for its beauty and weirdness. Like The VVitch, The Lighthouse is not an easy film to watch, but it's a worthwhile one.

Grade: A-

Shake Your Money Maker

Movies: Hustlers

Hustlers is a female-written and directed (Lorene Scafaria) film that centers on women in the sex work industry (stripping, specifically). Based on a true story, which was captured in the an article titled "The Hustlers of Scores" by Jessica Pressler, Hustlers is about a small group of strippers who started drugging the men they danced for and running up their credit cards in order to give themselves a bigger payday.

It was very refreshing to see a film with well-known female actresses (Jennifer Lopez, Constance Wu, and Julia Stiles--with cameos by Cardi B and Lizzo, among others) and basically no recognizable male actors. How often does that happen!? Similarly, the movie is ethnically diverse out the wazoo and presents the women (and their criminal actions) as complicated and three-dimensional. Hustlers has its feminist bona fides for sure.

The movie is also just plain fun, with a bangin' soundtrack, sexy stripteases, and women drugging and stealing from rich, white guys. This movie is the lovechild of Magic Mike and Robin Hood.

But the film is careful to never fully condone the actions of the women involved in the scam. It *explains* their actions, but it also shows the consequences, both practical (having to haul a nude, passed out man into a Hummer) and emotional (having to deal with a crying man begging for his money back over the phone). And anyone who read the article above knows how the story ends.

Hustlers focuses on Destiny, played by Constance Wu. The film opens in 2007. Destiny is a stripper at a well-heeled club called "Moves" in New York City, but she is still learning the ropes. An older, wiser stripper, Ramona (a radiant boss bitch Jennifer Lopez), takes Destiny under her wing and--in my favorite scene of the film--shows her a variety of moves on the poll. The two bond very quickly and make bank. After all, it's 2007 and the economy is great. What could possibly go wrong?

A whole bunch, actually. For one, the recession hits in late 2008, and the rich dudes who frequent the club start drying up. I guess, given the stock market, they decide to spend their money on their dumb wives and kids or whatever. Then, Destiny gets pregnant. After she has her baby, she dumps her boyfriend and struggles to find work. She decides to go back to stripping even though she'd really prefer not to. However, one benefit of going back to the club is that she reunites with Ramona, who is as hot and successful as ever--and who has come up with a scheme to make a lot of money real fast.

The plan: chat up a rich-looking dude at a bar and get him drunk (be sure to surreptitiously throw your drink over your shoulder while he drinks so you remain sober and clear-headed). Then, the other girls (Ramona has recruited two other women--Mercedes [Keke Palmer] and Annabelle [Lili Reinhart]--to be part of the scheme) will show up and convince the dude to take them to Moves to hang out in the champagne room. At some point in the evening, one of the girls will slip a mixture of MDMA and ketamine into the dude's drink--the drug is meant to make the guy both suggestible, but also impair his memory. Once at the club, they "get permission" from the guy to borrow his credit card to pay for drinks, and essentially empty out his bank account.

The ethical reasoning behind this scam is that because these men are so wealthy, they'll barely miss that $10,000 from their bank account. Besides, the women tell themselves, these men are pigs. They're the 1%. Misogynists. Pervs. They asked for it.

Ah man, my heart rate is up just thinking about how these women fucked over these rich assholes. Eat the fuckin' rich, amirite? This is a better solution than the guillotine, amirite? Well, sadly, life isn't a feminist fairytale and, eventually, the women get caught. Surprisingly, their sentences are pretty light--Ramona, the ringleader, doesn't even serve jail time, just 5 years probation. Destiny takes a plea deal.

Hustlers is about two things: female relationships and the American Dream. And it considers the limits of both. In many ways, these women were only doing to men what the men were doing to others--stealing other peoples' money to make themselves rich. It's not like Wall Street traders and investment bankers are angels--they do shady, barely legal (if not flat-out illegal) shit all the time. And they get away with it because they are at the top of the food chain. Although the women's actions were indeed illegal and indeed hurt some (relatively) innocent people, it's hard to blame them for just trying to get by in a tough world that values getting bread by any means necessary. Likewise, the movie looks at relationships between women--the good and the bad. Ramona and Destiny's friendship is complex--they have a bit of a mother/daughter (or teacher/student) dynamic, and also a girl crush dynamic, and, eventually, a frenemies dynamic. Their friendship can't withstand Ramona's hubris.

Hustlers is a fun movie with a complex moral center. It really is like the first Magic Mike movie, which was a tale about relationships between men hiding underneath a line-up of sculpted man-ass. Likewise, this movie serves up Britney Spears and stripper poles alongside some truly difficult questions about how people are supposed to survive during times of economic crisis. And also, the concept of wealth and privilege--maybe some people deserve to have money taken from them if they don't willingly put it back into society where it could go to people who need it more.

Grade: B+