Spooky Scary

Movies: Favorite scary movies

Hello, Dear Readers,

In honor of Halloween, I present to you a few of my favorite scary movies--with a convenient "scare-ometer" to gauge how frightening the films are. Enjoy!


Nosferatu (1922)

This silent German classic, directed by F.W. Murnau, depicts a vampire--Count Orlock--who is so iconic that he became the subject of an episode of 90's Nickelodeon TV show Are You Afraid of the Dark. Unlike the majority of portrayals of vampires on screen, Count Orlock is not sexy. Bald, with snow-white skin, long fingers, and rat-like teeth, Orlock has none of the seductive powers of Dracula. He is simply terrifying. Nosferatu was one of the first silent movies I ever saw, and though it may not be quite as frightening as some of the other films on this list, its images are forever seared in my brain.

 Scare-ometer: 2 out of 4 skulls


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 Rosemary's Baby (1968)

The scariest thing about this 1968 film about a woman (Mia Farrow) carrying Satan's child isn't the plot--it's the fact that the director (Roman Polanski) once raped a teen girl and still received a standing ovation at the Oscars when he won Best Director for The Pianist. Womp.

Despite my repulsion at Polanski's crimes, I simply cannot ignore the suspense, dread, and artful storytelling of Rosemary's Baby. In short, this film gives me the creepy-crawlies no matter how many times I watch it. The sense of claustrophobia and dread as Rosemary creeps around her own New York City apartment, becoming more and more paranoid about her difficult pregnancy and the strange behavior of her husband, Guy, is suffocating. I find myself looking over my shoulder whenever I watch the movie. Another element I love about Rosemary's Baby is the "satanic panic" plot and Rosemary's quest to find answer about her strange, elderly neighbors through both research and--in one memorable scene--Scrabble tiles. Rosemary's Baby is not only a masterpiece of horror, it's a masterpiece of film in general.

Scare-ometer: 2.5 out of 4 skulls

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Suspiria (1977) and Deep Red (1975)

Two films directed by Dario Argento--one about a coven of witches at a ballet school and the other about a series of bizarre murders--Suspiria and Deep Red are exemplary giallo films. Both of them are deeply unsettling and feature violent and imaginative deaths. They're just barely on the right side of campy/trashy horror. They're also really, really entertaining. For those with sensitive ears, be warned that Suspiria has a harsh score by prog rock band Goblin that sounds like hell and adds to the general feeling of discomfort while watching the film.

Scare-ometer: 
Suspiria: 3.5 out of 4 skulls
Deep Red: 3 out of 4 skulls

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The Shining (1980)

Based on the book by a master of horror, and directed by a genius with an especial talent for cinematography both vibrant and clinical, The Shining is inevitably a creep-fest of the highest order. Although author Stephen King hated director Stanley Kubrick's interpretation of his novel, I personally feel that Kubrick brought the sheer insanity of King's writing (King was extremely fucked up on drugs when he wrote The Shining--and you can tell, especially when Jack Torrance starts going nuts) to the big screen perfectly. From the use of a child's perspective as Danny Torrance rolls down the hotel hallways on his Big Wheel, to the weird mixture of sexuality and horror in the scene where Jack finds a naked lady in room 237, there is something absolutely sinister about The Shining. I never get sick of watching it.

Scare-ometer: 3 our of 4 skulls

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The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Like Rosemary's Baby, The Silence of the Lambs is a movie that no matter how many times I watch it, I never stop being freaked out by it. Clarice Starling's investigation into the kidnapping and murder of half a dozen young women leads her to some strange and horrifying places, such as an abandoned storage unit...and to Dr. Hannibal Lecter's prison cell. The Silence of the Lambs is not only good horror, it's a great film with two extremely solid performances at its center: Jodie Foster in a very pro-woman, feminist role as the strong, intelligent, almost foolishly brave Starling, and Anthony Hopkins as the psychopathic charmer Dr. Lecter. While the film's take on transgender individuals is, shall we say, a bit out-dated, Ted Levine's performance as killer Buffalo Bill makes me shudder to this day. It puts the lotion on its skin...

Scare-ometer: 3 out of 4 skulls

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The Ring (2002)

The American remake of Ringu brought Japanese-style horror, with its long-haired, crawling ghosts, to the States. And it scared the ever-loving shit out of 16 year old me. I could barely sleep for a week after I watched it in the theatres with a couple friends. Between the heart-stopping opening sequence, that damn horse jumping off the ship, and the cursed film itself, The Ring has some images you won't soon forget. Almost everyone I know who has seen this film was fucking terrified of phones, televisions, and long-haired little girls afterward. The film's cinematography, based on the beautiful yet eerie paintings of Andrew Wyeth, make the viewer feel both scared and depressed. And the twist at the end ("You weren't supposed to help her.") which turns the "help a ghost to move on and it will leave you alone" trope on its head is genius.

Scare-ometer: 4 out of 4 skulls

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The Descent (2005)

A couple movies on this list have elements of claustrophobia: Rosemary's apartment, The Overlook Hotel, etc. But nothing compares to the claustrophobic nightmare that is The Descent. Six women go spelunking--an activity the ladies have enjoyed doing together for years. After a passage in the cave collapses, one of the women admits that she led the group into an unexplored cave system--which is extremely dangerous. As the women try to figure out an alternative exit, their camaraderie breaks down. But the horror is only beginning. Various members of the group start seeing and hearing things around the cave. It becomes clear that they are not alone.

The Descent is not child's play. This is a scary fucking movie. It combines fear of being trapped, fear of monsters, and emotional trauma and doesn't let up. It also has a number of highly effective jump scenes. Watch at your own risk.

 Scare-ometer: 4 out of 4 skulls

***

Insidious (2010)

Directed by James Wan, Insidious has a really different premise. Patrick Wilson (who is amazing in everything and I want to have 10,000 of his babies) and Rose Byrne (she's cool too) play Josh and Renai Lambert, the young parents of Dalton and Foster Lambert. After Dalton takes a spill off a ladder, he ends up in a coma--a situation that would be any parent's worst nightmare. But it gets worse. As Dalton languishes, the Lambert's home seems to become infested with ghouls and bad vibes. The Lamberts hire a psychic who explains that Dalton is able to astral project onto another plane/dimension. His comatose body is serving as a bridge of sorts from the other dimension to this one, letting in all kinds of creepy, spooky things. Yeah, it sounds weird, but it somehow works in the movie. In order to save his son, Josh allows himself to be put in a trance so that he can also project to wherever his son has gone and bring him back. Although PG-13, Insidious is so scary, it *feels* like it should be rated R. It also has an infamous jump scene that practically made me shit myself. If you watch it, good luck...

Scare-ometer: 4 out of 4 skulls

***

The Conjuring (2013)

For the more sensitive movie-goer, The Conjuring (also directed by James Wan) is a gentler, more old fashioned scary movie. Based on the "true" story of the Perron family, the film takes place in 1971 and has fabulous costume and set design. Carolyn and Roger Perron (played wonderfully by Lili Taylor and Ron Livingston) and their 5 daughters move into a beautiful farm house, only to find that's it's just fucking lousy with ghosts. Ghosts out the wazoo, I tells ya! So after an increasing number of sleepless nights, Carolyn seeks out the help of Ed and Lorraine Warren (played by Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga, also great), ghost hunters who have devoted their lives to cleansing people's homes of spirits.

Although there are some truly original scares in The Conjuring (including the infamous "three claps" game), the film builds suspense by holding back instead of going for dozens of cheap jump scares. I mentioned above that the movie has an old fashioned feeling to it, and not just because it's a period film. It reminded me of the more suspenseful, less gory scary movies of the 60's and 70's. It was also the movie that brought me back to horror after years of avoiding scary movies completely (thanks to the trauma I suffered by watching The Ring). So if you're looking for a chilling movie that isn't *quite* as intense, The Conjuring is a good one to check out.

Scare-ometer: 3.5 out of 4 skulls

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It Follows (2014)

It Follows, directed by David Robert Mitchell, also has a retro feel--partially because of its awesome synth score. It's a movie I would describe as singular and unique. The monster at the center of the film can take the shape of any person--an old woman, a tall man, a close friend. And the monster doesn't run at you or jump out at you from the bushes--it simply walks directly at you at a steady pace. This monster, or demon, or whatever it is, is passed from one victim to the next through sexual activity. Once you're "infected", it will find you and kill you--unless you have sex with the next person and pass it to them. But beware, if the person you pass it to is killed by this thing, the curse reverts back to you.

The rules of this film sound both complicated and goofy when I try to lay them out in words. Director Mitchell avoids goofiness by only giving the characters (and thus, the viewer) a tiny bit of information at a time--they're just as confused about this thing as we are, and our questions ("Can you kill this thing by shooting it?") are explored and answered over the course of the film. Beware though--if you like your movies wrapped up in a nice, explanatory bow at the end, It Follows may not be for you.

Scare-ometer: 3.5 out of 4 skulls

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So there you have it--some of my favorite scary movies. There are many more, of course (The Babadook, Audition, You're Next, and Bram Stoker's Dracula are a few "honorable mentions" for this list), but the above films are ones that are not only excellent, terrifying scary movies, but great films the stand on their own outside of the horror genre.

Happy Halloween!

He Blinded Me With SCIENCE

Movies: The Martian

Ridley Scott's The Martian (based on Andy Weir's bestselling novel, which I have not read), requires a good amount of suspension of disbelief. But if you're willing to suspend that disbelief, you're in for an optimistic, pro-humanity, pro-science treat. And the ride is definitely worth it.
The Martian takes place in the not-too-distant future. The United States makes regular trips to Mars, and during one particular mission, a team of astronauts (lead by Jessica Chastain) is forced to evacuate the planet because of an intense storm. Their colleague, Mark Wattney (Matt Damon), is hit with debris during the storm and the team can't rescue him. They assume he's dead and take off without him...

...but he's not dead. Wattney comes to, realizing that a piece of debris that punctured him also plugged what would have been a deadly hole in his spacesuit. He makes it back to the team's base camp before his oxygen runs out. But even though he has survived the storm, he is basically living on borrowed time. He calculates that it will be 4 years until the next group of astronauts arrive...and he can only stretch his food supplies for about a year.

Not one to give up easily, Wattney decides to "science the shit" out of his hopeless situation. He keeps a video diary of his attempts (and successes!) to grow food on the desolate planet and rejigger a moon buggy so that he can drive it to where he is supposed to "meet" the next mission to Mars. Damon plays Wattney with a jokey, friendly looseness. He's relaxed and calm in the face of almost certain death. I enjoyed Damon's performance, although it was a bit too similar to George Clooney's performance in Gravity: a handsome astronaut who jokes and flirts with Sandra Bullock even as he is literally drifting into space to die. Like Clooney, Damon could have used a few more moments of humanity. I would have liked to see a good, snot-nosed, weeping and gnashing of teeth scene in addition to his scenes of being a cool, science-nerd badass.

Meanwhile on Earth, NASA realizes that Wattney is still alive collectively brainstorms ways to get a rescue mission to him before he starves. This is where we have to suspend our disbelief--would NASA really spend millions (or billions) or dollars and months/years of time to rescue one man? Or would they simply cover up their mistake and let Wattney die--with no citizens the wiser about what happened? The skeptical side of me says there's no way in hell they'd try to rescue this guy. But The Martian isn't about the *real* world, it's about the *ideal* world.

The Martian envisions a United States that values collaboration, ingenuity, and science. A US that laughs in the face of danger while it grows potatoes from its own shit on planet Mars. It's a story that the US likes to tell about itself, but rarely (though certainly we've had our moments as a country) puts its money where its mouth is. We say that we're smart, we're brave, and we value human life--where, actually, we have politicians that don't believe in climate change or vaccines and we are careless not just with human life around the world, but the very humans living within our borders.

The Martian gives us a beautiful, hopeful glimpse of what we could be, as a nation, if we were "our best selves" as many a pop guru puts it. And I admire the film for that.

This is a film Americans need right now. A story about how logic and intelligence can solve problems. We've become increasing skeptical of science and intellectualism over the past couple decades, and it's a real shame. Of course, yes, there have always been folks skeptical of science or who lean too heavily on faith and misinformation. But as someone who works in education, it saddens me that some people now see ignorance as a badge of honor, or who dig in their heels to their false beliefs when presented with accurate facts.

The Martian, while not a perfect movie, is a film that proudly proclaims that it's cool to be smart and dares to believe that if we all put our heads together, we can achieve anything.

Grade: B