Dollface

Movies: M3GAN

I'm not really sure I can add much to the M3GAN discourse that's been going on since the trailer dropped months ago. When I saw the trailer for "M'threegan" back in the fall, I was like "ok, this movie looks hella entertaining". But I did not expect the movie to be sitting at a damn 94% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes! Go, M'threegan, go! SLAY QUEEN. 

So, I saw the movie and it is indeed as campy, self-aware, and hilarious as everyone is saying. Is this going to be a favorite horror movie of mine that I return to time and time again? No. Was it super fun to watch in a crowded theatre with a huge bucket of popcorn? Absolutely.

If you're somehow living under a rock and don't know the plot of M3GAN, it starts out with 8 year old Cady (Violet McGraw) losing both of her parents in a car accident. Cady's aunt, Gemma (Allison Williams), becomes her guardian. But Gemma is not really prepared to become the guardian to an 8 year old. She's a brilliant engineer who works for a toy company and doesn't really "get" kids (IRONY!).

Gemma is working on a top-secret project: an android doll named "M3GAN" (Model 3 Generative Android) that is designed to be a kid's companion. This doll will be able to play with kids, remind them to brush their teeth, read them stories, and basically do...all the shit that parents are supposed to do. It's really more like a nanny than a toy. Gemma has the amazing and definitely not bad idea of testing M3GAN out on Cady. Not only will this give Gemma the data she needs to impress her boss, Cady will benefit from having a friend during this difficult time. Win-win!

But since this is a horror movie about AI, we all know what's going to happen. M3GAN is specifically designed to improve and have better responses based on AI learning. Her primary directive is to protect Cady. So, when a neighbor's dog attacks Cady and bites her...well, I think you can imagine M3GAN's response (don't worry, you never see the, uh, results of M3GAN's intervention). Later, when a boy bullies Cady, M3GAN goes medieval on the little fucker's ass. 

Any attempts to shut down M3GAN result in her coming back stronger and angrier. I think it also helps that the doll has a titanium core, because she's strong as fuck and basically indestructible. Uh, except for this weird part where Gemma throws a glass of water in M3GAN's face and it actually short-circuits her, which, um, plot hole? Why would you create an advanced, indestructible piece of technology and not make it waterproof? 

Directed by Gerald Johnstone, who also directed the excellent horror-comedy Housebound, M3GAN is campy fun where a doll dressed better than me does TikTok dances before murdering grown men. If you're a person who likes horror, but doesn't like a ton of gore or jump scares, M3GAN will probably work for you. It's a fun, entertaining movie that may well be a cult classic someday. 

Grade: B+