Life in Plastic

Movie: Barbie

Sometimes a movie is bigger than the sum of its parts. Greta Gerwig's Barbie is one such movie. What could have been a cheesy movie about an iconic (and problematic) toy produced mostly to sell products transcended into a cheesy movie about an iconic (and problematic) toy produced to sell products but also to raise feminist consciousness. Gerwig, who has previously directed female-centered films such as Ladybird and Little Women, elevated this movie into something funny, campy, surreal, existential...but also totally in line with the capitalist impulses that were behind the creation of Barbie in the first place. Barbie is a subversive movie, but not too subversive. I mean, it's not directed by John Waters (now that would be an interesting Barbie film).

Even though I contend that Barbie is good, not great, I think Gerwig did the absolute best she could given the parameters of this film. Mattel was never going to allow for a movie that truly tears Barbie to shreds (and would we even want that? Barbie is indeed beloved by many people). And the PG-13 rating keeps the film squarely in family-friendly territory. Given the limitations in place, Barbie is fairly radical.

I mean, the plot of Barbie is basically "Ken brings toxic masculinity to Barbie Land and must be stopped". Well, the first half of the plot is "Barbie realizes she is becoming less perfect, which means there is a rip in the space-time continuum and she must go to the real world to find and help the sad little girl who is making Barbie develop flat feet and cellulite". But once she and Ken go to the real world, Ken discovers horses and patriarchy and goes back to Barbie Land and nearly ruins the pink-hued gynocracy for everyone. So the second half of the movie is stopping Ken's takeover. I truly did not expect Ken to play such a big role in the movie and I am not mad about it because Ryan Gosling steals the show. Gosling rarely gets to show off his comedic chops, and he was great as the bleach-blonde, sensitive-but-misguided hunk. 

My main beef with Barbie is that the message of the film, which is actually two messages, is spoon-fed to the audience. The first thesis of the movie is that women are expected to be perfectly balanced in all things (pretty, but not too pretty; smart, but not too smart; confident, but not a bitch, etc). About 2/3 of the way through the movie, America Ferrara, playing a woman from the real world whom it turns out was the cause of Barbie's existential crisis, lays this thesis out in a big speech. For some people in the audience, this is probably the first time they've heard thoughts like these expressed. But for me, well, I was rolling my eyes (SORRY!!). It was just so clunky. But I guess in a world where a guy like Trump can be president, we need obvious feminism spoonfed to us. There's no room for subtlety and nuance in this irony-free hellscape we live in now.

The other message of the movie, which was more intriguing to me, is that maybe neither men NOR WOMEN should rule the world. Because all is not well in Barbie Land, where women can be astronauts, construction workers, mermaids, Nobel Prize winners, and the president...but Ken can only be Ken. I'm not going to lie--I got a lil choked up when Ken confronts Barbie about taking him for granted. Deep within a movie that screams feminist empowerment from the rooftops is the message than men also want to be considered full humans too. And toxic masculinity may look like it allows for men to be anything...but it actually is just another cage. Most guys I keep company with resent toxic masculinity as much as women do because it forces them to tamp down their true emotions, passions, and vulnerabilities. I was very happy to see that Barbie acknowledges this and doesn't turn Ken into a one-dimensional villain.

There's also a Ken dance-off (or "beach-off", if you prefer), which was awesome. 

If you think I'm being too critical of Barbie, don't worry, I did like the movie. Gerwig sneaks in a lot of weirdness, camp, and plain old funny jokes into the film. The acting is also great. I already mentioned Gosling, but Margot Robbie is perfect as "stereotypical Barbie". She brings warmth, humor, and vulnerability to the role. But Gosling and Robbie are nearly overshadowed by the many, many smaller parts and even cameos throughout the movie. Kate McKinnon does what she does best as Weird Barbie. Michael Cera plays timid, earnest Allan. Simu Liu plays Ken's arch-nemesis...Ken (there are many versions of Ken in the movie, all vying for the attention of various Barbies). Hell, even John Cena makes an appearance as Merman Ken. 

Overall, Barbie isn't perfect. But maybe that's the point. A friend of mine pointed out the similarities between Gerwig's task to create the perfectly balanced Barbie movie and the message of the film that women are expected to perfectly balance our lives and selves. So maybe I'm being a tad harsh when I say that the movie was good rather than great. Or maybe it's ok for some movies to just be good.

Grade: B+

Stargazing

Movie: Asteroid City

Wes Anderson does not miss. Even his "worst" movies (Bottle Rocket and The Darjeeling Limited, in my opinion) are still solid. But if you're not into Anderson's whole vibe, you'll never be into his movies because he doesn't stray far from said vibe.

Anderson's latest, Asteroid City, contains all the classic Anderson tropes: perfectly framed shots, Daddy Issues, quick deadpan dialogue, and a striking palette of colors. But it also has some extra weird shit thrown in for the true fans. The plot is a frame story. So, "Asteroid City" is the name of a play written by Conrad Earp (Edward Norton). The portions of the movie that take place in "reality"--Conrad writing the play, actors auditioning, Conrad attending an acting class to find talent, etc--are filmed in black and white and at a 1.37:1 ratio (basically, the screen is a square). The portions of the movie that represent the play itself are filmed in color at a widescreen ratio. This makes the "reality" portions of the movie feel fake and "fake" portions of the movie feel real. 

The play itself is about events that take place over one week in the very small, Southwestern town so named after an asteroid that landed in the area thousands of years ago. Asteroid City is hosting an astronomy convention where the scientific inventions of young "Junior Stargazers" will be celebrated. This convention brings together a large cast of interesting characters, including Augie Steenbeck (Jason Schwartzman), a war photographer and recent widower with three daughters and a son (one of the Junior Stargazers). Midge Campbell (Scarlett Johansson), an actress, is also there with her daughter, Dinah (also a Stargazer). Like many characters in previous Anderson movies, Midge and Augie bond over their shared melancholy. 

The plot is pretty complicated and the cast, as is always the case with Anderson movies, is stacked. A partial list of all the actors in Asteroid City include Tilda Swinton, Tom Hanks, Jeffrey Wright, Maya Hawke, Rupert Friend, Steve Carell, Willem Dafoe, Hong Chau, and Margot Robbie. While I really liked Asteroid City, this huge cast (especially given that Anderson's last movie, The French Dispatch, also featured an enormous cast) made me long for the relatively stripped down early Anderson movies, like Rushmore and The Royal Tenenbaums where there were fewer characters and more complex character development. 

Despite the consistency of Anderson's whole *gestures broadly* thing, the director really does try new stuff all the time. He's done animation, non-linear movies, and metatextual movies. Asteroid City strikes me as uniquely weird for Anderson, which is very exciting. It's a movie I will definitely need to watch a second time in order to pick up all the little things I missed the first time around. I like that his movies reward multiple watches. 

I feel like I'm rambling and also saying nothing in this review, but Asteroid City really is a movie you just need to watch to understand--and you'll probably need to watch it a couple times. If you're an Anderson fan, you'll probably appreciate the film even if it's not among your favorites. If you're not an Anderson fan, this won't be the movie to turn you into one. 

Grade: B+

Stuff I watched in...June, 2023

Magic Mike's Last Dance

The third movie in the Magic Mike trilogy is not as good as the first two. However, taken together, the films make a certain logical sense: the first film, Magic Mike, directed by Steven Soderbergh, was more of a funny, but slightly melancholy take on male friendships than a sex-drenched ass-fest. The second film, Magic Mike XXL, directed by Gregory Jacobs, is what people thought the *first* film was going to be: a thoroughly campy, good-hearted comedy about a bunch of hot guys taking their clothes off. This most recent (and final?) installment, directed once again by Soderbergh, is a love story, with almost too obvious tropes (the main characters can't be together for...reasons; forced proximity). It's also less funny and more sedate--but also more sensual--than the first two.

If Magic Mike is a quality craft beer and Magic Mike XXL is a tequila shot, then Magic Mike's Last Dance is a four-ounce pour of a very expensive Cabernet: it's lush, it's relaxing, it's sexy, but it ain't a party drink.

The film opens in present day, presumably about 7 years after the events of Magic Mike XXL. Mike Lane has lost his furniture making business in the pandemic and now works as a bartender for a catering company. While working at a fundraising event, Mike meets the hostess, Max Mendoza (Salma Hayek Pinault). Max finds out about Mike's past as a male stripper and offers to pay him a tidy sum for a dance. Mike protests that he is retired, but gives in and gives Max the dance of her life and the two end up sleeping together.

The next day, Max proposes and even crazier idea: Mike will come with her to London and spend a month training a cadre of male dancers to perform in a show at a theatre that Max's ex-husband bequeathed to her. Max's reasoning? She feels that if all women could experience the pleasure that Mike gave her through dance, it could change the world. Also, the show is a "fuck you" to her ex, a stuffy, wealthy British man with a reputation to protect.

It's all VERY contrived, and the entire "Magic Mike" trilogy goes a little overboard with the whole "if you just give women a little erotic attention, their lives will change" concept (If Mike drove women across state lines to access abortion services, he might be a little more "Magic" in my humble opinion, but yes the dancing is very good). But like a romance novel that is a fair bit ridiculous, Magic Mike's Last Dance has a way of charming you and making you smile despite yourself. It definitely has the most sensual dance scenes of the trilogy. Worth the watch!

Grade: B-

***

Elle

Elle, a French-language film directed by the slightly infamous Paul Verhoeven and starring the remarkable Isabella Huppert, is one of my favorite types of films: rape and revenge. Huppert plays Michele Leblanc, a middle-aged divorcee who develops video games for a living. Basically, she's cool as fuck. One day, Michele is raped in her own home by a masked assailant. Though she doesn't go to the police and appears relatively unfazed when she tells her ex-husband and best friend at dinner later that night, Michele begins to look suspiciously at all the men in her life. 

Michele eventually discovers the identity of the man who raped her and begins a very ambiguous cat-and-mouse game with him that could easily get her killed. As viewers, we're led to wonder what Michele is getting out of this. Is she a masochist? Is she planning some horrible act of revenge? Is she simply in denial that this man is a danger to her? Or is she suffering severe guilt due to the fact that her father was a notorious serial killer in the 1970s (did I forget to mention that Michele's father was a notorious serial killer in the 1970s)? 

Verhoeven is known for occasionally directing "trashy" movies, such as Showgirls. Elle could have easily been a trashy--almost retro--take on rape and "women's fantasies"...and some critics have argued that the movie is exactly that: a male fantasy about how women want to be ravished. But I found Elle to be a fascinating character study of a woman who is so sure of herself, so smart and powerful, that she may truly not understand the level of danger she's in. But, of course, being so smart, Michele does understand the danger she is in even as she is attracted to it on some level. It's a film that shows human emotion and motivation for the cipher it often is. Sometimes we don't even understand the choices--and risks--we make. 

I was blown away by Elle, but I strongly caution people to really consider if they want to watch a movie with multiple, explicit rape scenes which also contain a scary amount of physical violence. 

Grade: A-

***

Black Mirror, season 6 and Bandersnatch 

I was more than pleasantly surprised to find that the most recent season of Black Mirror is excellent and possibly even the best season of the entire series. There are five episodes and not a dud among them, although the first three--"Joan is Awful", "Loch Henry", and "Beyond the Sea"--are truly exquisite. "Beyond the Sea" in particular feels like it could have been a straight up film that I would have paid to see in theatres. It's also horrifically devastating. 

While "Joan is Awful" is, hands down, the funniest episode of Black Mirror ever, "Loch Henry" and "Beyond the Sea" bring that classic Black Mirror hurt--they're almost sadistic in their emotional devastation. And then the final two episodes, "Mazey Day" and "Demon 79" bring something unexpected to the table: supernatural horror. Typically, Black Mirror sticks to the realm of science fiction horror, but the final two episodes of season 6 venture outside that boundary quite a bit. And I was here for it. 

I also finally got around to watching Bandersnatch, Black Mirror's interactive movie. While Will Poulter was a delight, overall I was not impressed. The concept of a "choose your own adventure" movie is a cool one, but in reality I have to wonder how many people decided to watch it more than once to get a different ending (especially since it would offer you the option of returning to a previous choice when you reached an ending). I just don't think the movie itself is good enough to inspire multiple viewings. But I have to give it points for trying something different.  

Season 6: A

Bandersnatch: B

***

The Five Devils

This French film, directed by Lea Mysius, is a mix of genres, ranging from family drama to fantasy to horror. Young Vicky (Sally Drame) has a magical nose: she has a truly extraordinary sense of smell (she's able to smell her mother from 20 feet away while blindfolded, for example), but she is also able to create scents like some kind of prodigy perfumer. 

Vicky lives with her parents Joanne (Adele Exarchopoulos) and Jimmy (Moustapha Mbengue) and their life seems peaceful (even if Joanne acts a bit forlorn at times). But when Jimmy's sister, Julia (Swala Emati) comes to live with the family after being released from prison, Vicky's quiet life is rocked to the core. Through scent, Vicky is able to experience people's memories--namely, Julia and Joanne's. She sees that Julia and Joanne were once very close until something pulled them apart.

The Five Devils is a thinker of a movie, and honestly, I'm not fully sure if I understood it. There are some really interesting ideas in this movie, but none of them seem fully fleshed out. One idea that keeps emerging is Vicky's realization that if her father and mother hadn't gotten together in the wake of the event that sent Julia to prison, she would not have been born. The Five Devils takes this very normal existential realization and plays a bit with it, suggesting that maybe Vicky is able to time travel via the power of scent and even interfere with events that occurred before she was born. But the movie never really commits to this idea one way or another.

Overall, a very interesting and beautifully shot film, but not clear enough to feel fully satisfying.

Grade: B

***

Evil Dead Rise

Sadly, I was disappointed by the latest film in the Evil Dead franchise. Set in a condemned high rise apartment building, Evil Dead Rise had the potential to be a really cool movie. It focuses on single mom Ellie (Alyssa Sutherland), her sister Beth (Lily Sullivan), and kids Danny, Bridget, and Kassie (Morgan Davies, Gabrielle Echols, and Nell Fisher). 

Beth is a ne'er do well who has a history of ignoring her sister until she needs her. Well, upon discovering an unwanted pregnancy, Beth shows up at Ellie's door. But the sibling drama only starts to simmer before the kids discover an old-ass book bound in human skin and end up releasing untold horrors into their apartment. 

I'm not really an Evil Dead person (I still haven't seen the first two movies, which I know is blasphemy to admit as a horror lover) so I might not have followed the plot as well as an Evil Dead fan would, but basically if you read certain words out of the book, some kind of demon possesses someone, and they can pass that possession onto other people through bites and scratches and stuff. Look, I wasn't paying a lot of attention to the movie! I'm sorry!

Chaos reigns, bodily fluids are flung far and wide, and a chainsaw comes into play by the end of the movie. But at that point I was mostly playing on my phone and not watching. I'm not sure why, but the film failed to hold my attention. That said, a lot of horror fanatics loved it, so if you like horror, don't let my opinion keep you from checking it out.

Grade: C+

Stuff I watched in...May, 2023

Yellowjackets, season 2

Showtime's Yellowjackets is one of the most addictive shows I've ever seen, with a cast of top-shelf actresses. 

The gritty show takes place on two timelines: in the mid-90s when a high school soccer team's plane crashes in the Canadian wilderness and the survivors of the crash are forced to figure out how to survive in the unforgiving woods; and present-day when the now 40-something survivors must reckon with the trauma of their past and the evil presence that may or may not have followed them out of the woods. 

Yellowjackets teases a supernatural entity that drives the girls' behavior in the woods without fully revealing what's really going on. Yes, the show is a lot like Lost (or so I'm told, as I never watched Lost), but hopefully the writers have a clear answer to what is happening and won't fumble the conclusion (which I heard happened with Lost). While season 2 was great and led to a truly devastating finale episode, sadly we may not see season 3 for a while due to the Writer's Strike (totally worth it for Hollywood writers to be paid what they're worth). 

Also worth noting that the soundtrack for this show is ON POINT. Ranging from Tori Amos to Seal to Radiohead, the needle drops always manage to hit you right in the feels. 

Grade: A

***

Barry, season 4

When season 1 of Barry aired in 2018, I would have never guessed the dark turns it would take. Created by Bill Hader and Alec Berg, Barry is a dark comedy about a hitman who tries to turn his life around by taking an acting class in LA. Probably the first hint that this series is going for something very different is the season 2 episode "ronny/lily", which has a completely different feel to the rest of the series thus far. It signifies a break in Barry where he begins to backslide into the sociopathic tendencies that he suppressed since starting his acting career.

By the end of the series, the audience knows that Barry, and many other characters in the show, cannot be redeemed and the only thing we can hope for is a just ending. Understandably, some viewers were not into the direction Barry went in, and even I (lover of all things dark) was a bit taken aback since the sardonic humor was more what I was looking for. But I think Hader and Berg had a strong, uncompromising vision and they were able to carry that out, which is something very special.

Even in its darkest moments, Barry has some really good humor. And then acting...oh, the acting! *chef's kiss*. Overall, a deeply worthy and deeply disturbing show that pulls no punches and leaves a bittersweet taste in one's mouth.

Grade: A-

***

Missing

Directed by Will Merrick and Nick Johnson (in their directorial debuts), Missing is a spiritual sequel to 2018's very, very good Searching. Both films take place almost entirely on screens and they both involve, well, missing persons. In Missing, Storm Reid plays 18 year old June Allen, who lives with her single mom, Grace (Nia Long). When Grace and her newish boyfriend, Kevin (Ken Leung), go on a trip to Colombia, June looks forward to a weekend of very much not-sanctioned by Mom partying. But when she goes to the airport to pick up Grace and Kevin and they don't show up, June starts to worry.

The film becomes an edge-of-your-seat thriller with twists and turns galore. It leans in to the almost soap opera level of ridiculousness, which is really to the movie's benefit. This is not a realistic movie, but it's definitely a fun movie and it managed to keep me off *my* screens for the duration, which is saying something! Highly recommended for a fun, thrilling time.

Grade: B

***

Love and Leashes

This South Korean romantic comedy about a man and woman who work together and develop a BDSM relationship held a lot of promise but sadly wasn't all that. Seohyun (yes, she goes by one name) plays Jung Ji-woo and Lee Jung-young plays Jung Ji-hoo (and yes, a lot of jokes are made about how similar their names are). They two work in the same office and when Ji-woo is accidentally sent a package meant for Ji-hoo and discovers a dog collar inside, it sets off a string of events leading to the experienced submissive Ji-hoo asking the inexperienced Ji-woo to be his Master.

Love and Leashes is a very cute movie, with no nudity and some very questionable BDSM practices. Namely, the two get up to naughtiness *in their office*, which made me really uncomfortable. Also, there are no scenes where Ji-hoo explicitly tells Ji-woo what he actually wants. She literally downloads a Master/slave contract from the Internet for them to fill out. Thank goodness none of the questionable behaviors were violent or involve consent being violated. They just involve ignorance and, frankly, foolish public play (which I guess leans into the "couple being quirky in public" trope that a lot of rom-coms have). 

I'll give Love and Leashes a B- because it tried. It really did. There are not a lot of portrayals of Femdom in movies and TV, especially this more gentle, less sexual version of Femdom, so I have to respect that. And I'm guessing there might be some cultural stuff going on here...I've heard that Korea is a little more prudish about non-normative sex in films (please correct me if I'm wrong about that), so perhaps that cultural disconnect is playing a role here. 

Grade: C+

***

The Last Exorcism

A thoroughly mediocre found footage movie about a preacher, Cotton Marcus (Patrick Fabian), who has been performing fake exorcisms for years and decides to come clean by having a documentary crew film him performing one last exorcism and then revealing all his secrets. Unfortunately, he made have picked someone actually possessed to perform this final exorcism on. 

The premise is actually pretty interesting, but the execution is just...regular ol' found footage. A lot of shaky cams and a teenage girl contorting herself into impossible positions. I think I just don't like found footage that much. I feel like these types of movies rest a little too much on the "inherent" scariness of found footage without also having compelling dialogue and good acting. If found footage is your thing, you might be into The Last Exorcism. Otherwise, feel free to skip this one.

Grade: C

***

From Hell

I am currently reading Alan Moore and Eddie Campbell's epic graphic novel From Hell, which is about Jack the Ripper, and I decided to re-watch the movie adaptation (which I have seen before, but it's been a long time). I knew it wasn't going to hold a candle to the book and I was right! The movie, which stars Johnny Depp as Frederick Abberline, who is investigating the Ripper murders, and Heather Graham as Mary Kelly, a sex worker whose friends are being picked off one by one, really couldn't portray the evilness that comes through clear as day in Moore's book. Instead, From Hell the movie is just a spooky semi-true historical drama (both the book and movie present a theory about Jack the Ripper that makes for great fiction but is almost certainly not what really happened).

So, if you want to watch the movie and read the book, watch the movie first so you'll be less disappointed. And if you're only going to do one of those things, then just read the book. It's miles better.

Grade: C+

Power Tripping

Movies: Sanctuary

Spoiler warning for the entire post

I was in New York City recently, taking a fun trip with my friend, and during a rainy afternoon we decided to see a movie. We specifically wanted to see a movie that was only playing in New York and when I saw that Sanctuary was playing--a movie about a dominatrix and her client facing off in some tense way in a hotel room--I was like "this is the movie we have to see".

My friend was skeptical when some previews for horror movies played before the movie. She was like "Jenny, is this a horror movie?" and I was like "I don't...think so??" But I think that built some tension in our minds before the movie even began. 

Sanctuary is directed by Zachary Wigon, who is very new to directing, and it's based on the screenplay by Micah Bloomberg (not to be confused with *Michael* Bloomberg). It stars Christopher Abbott, whose breakout role was playing Charlie Dattalo in the show Girls and has been taking some incredibly interesting film roles since then (this is his second role as the client of a dominatrix!). Abbott plays Hal, a very wealthy 30-something guy who is heir to a hotel empire. His father just died, leaving everything to him. But Hal isn't the man his father wanted him to be. Sanctuary gives off big Succession vibes with a Mean, Rich Daddy hovering in the back of the main character's mind at all times. Hal's father wrote a book explaining that there are two types of people in this world: people who win, and people who don't.

Hal desperately wants to be a person who wins, but he is not. 

Margaret Qualley, a supremely talented young actress, plays Rebecca. The movie opens with a scene between Rebecca and Hal that ends with Rebecca in a power suit, sitting in a chair with her legs open in a total bitch boss stance while Hal cleans the (already clean) hotel bathroom on his hands and knees in his underwear. Rebecca at first tells Hal he's garbage, but then amends this to say that he's actually less than garbage: he is nothing. "You don't even take up space" Rebecca cruelly purrs into Hal's ear as he masturbates at the end of their scene.

But the next scene of the movie shows Hal and Rebecca eating luxurious room service food and talking about what a great BDSM scene that was. The audience realizes that these two have a relationship. It might be a customer/service provider relationship, but they appear to have real affection for one another and enjoy each other's company outside of the bedroom--err..the bathroom, that is.

So when Hal informs Rebecca--after giving her an extremely expensive watch--that they can no longer have their sessions now that Hal is the head of the hotel conglomerate, Rebecca is taken aback. At first, she leaves in a huff--a sort of "well, I'll take my ball and leave" kind of way. But in the hallway, something makes her turn back. She comes back to the room and informs Hal that she's need a larger parting gift than the watch.

She explains to Hal that it is she, Rebecca, who has given Hal the confidence to run his dad's company. Before their sessions, Hal couldn't express what he wanted and Rebecca taught him to do that. You might be wondering, "wait, so by being forced to clean a toilet on his knees and being told he's garbage, Hal gained confidence!?" Yes, BDSM--like God--works in mysterious ways. I can totally buy that a weak, scared man would become a confident man with the help of a skilled sex worker*

*please note that sessions with a dominatrix is no replacement for work with a licensed therapist! They may cost roughly the same though...

So Rebecca asks for half of Hal's salary for the first year he's in charge of the company--4 million dollars. When Hal refuses, Rebecca tells him that she has videos of their sessions and that she can easily send them to the board. Thus begins a cat-and-mouse game where Hal and Rebecca fight for power. 

My friend and I were both scared that Sanctuary might go in the "dead sex worker" direction. Hal even informs Rebecca that he can "make her disappear". But whenever Hal has the upper-hand, Rebecca manages to always take it back. Her demands become even greater: 4 million is not enough. She wants a position in the company. "Would it be crazy if we were co-CEOs?" she asks Hal. "Yes!!" Hal replies in exasperation.

What I loved about Sanctuary is that every time the movie would start to go in a scary direction (such as when Hal literally has Rebecca tied to a bedpost), it would always come back to something funny, playful, sexy, and even sweet. Watching the movie was like being part of a BDSM scene: I had to put my trust in the director and writer, and submit to wherever they were taking this. And they did not disappoint and led the audience to a delightful climax.

At a certain point in the movie, Rebecca reveals her cards: she has dumped her boyfriend and stopped dominating other men because she wants to dominate Hal full time. She points out how well this dynamic works for both of them--she gets to be the funny, mean woman she always dreamed she'd be and Hal gets to have the catharsis of having his worst fears about himself confirmed ("you are nothing") but then in doing so gain the confidence and self-respect he's actually looking for. But let's be real: Hal is not CEO material and both he and Rebecca know it. Hal just can't admit it to himself and admit what he really wants...

...until the very end, where he and Rebecca discuss business strategy (which Hal knows nothing about and Rebecca knows a lot more than you'd guess). Hal decides that he will buy his company back from the stakeholders because then he can put whomever he wants in charge. He convinces Rebecca that *she* should be the CEO of the hotel empire. But what will Hal do? Hal tells her that if she's going to be running a company this big, she'll need a lot of support: a clean house, meals on the table, and sex. 

Hal: "What's the name for someone who provides all that?"

Margaret: "A slave?"

Hal: "Yes! A slave! That's the job I was meant to have."

My heart was fluttering. And then when Rebecca asks what Hal will tell his mother about this crazy turn of events, Hal says "I'll say, 'This is Rebecca. We're in love. And she's in charge now.'"

They kiss in the elevator and the movie ends. THIS IS THE ROMANTIC COMEDY ENERGY I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR. 

Of course, the movie and the ending are unrealistic and ridiculous but that's because Sanctuary was a stealth romantic comedy and ALL romantic comedies are unrealistic and ridiculous...but you can't help but grin like an idiot when the two lovers overcome their obstacles and decide to be together. And while I pretty much hate all vanilla romantic comedies, I finally found one that speaks to my heart. 

My only criticism is that Sanctuary didn't spend enough time establishing the romantic connection between Hal and Rebecca. We don't know who these people are to each other, except a service provider and a person who pays for a service. So when Rebecca confesses that she wants their Dom/sub dynamic to be full time, it feels a bit out of left field. I guess part of that choice was to keep the audience on its toes. But I think if there had even been a couple more minutes of banter between Hal and Rebecca while they chill out after their scene at the beginning, it would all make a lot more sense.

Despite that criticism, I found Sanctuary to be delightful, as did my friend. We need more wholesome kink movies. And this one was both wholesome and edgy, never getting too dark and never getting too sentimental or cute. Truly a Goldilocks of an erotic-thriller-rom-com!

Grade: A-

Stuff I watched in...April, 2023

April was a weird month for me in terms of watching movies and TV. I "DNFed" (did not finish) three movies and rewatched a couple favorites. All told, I only watched three "new" (new to me) movies all the way through, one of which was Beau is Afraid, which I did a separate review for. So, overall, a wildly uneven and disappointing month for movies.

***

The Scary of Sixty-First

The only good thing about this 2021 horror film about two women who inadvertently rent a New York City apartment that was previously owned by Jeffrey Epstein is its run time: a blessedly short 80 minutes.

Directed by Dasha Nekrasova, The Scary of Sixty-First is a film with a good idea (a cursed apartment) that unfortunately uses a real life person whose crimes go beyond disgusting or tragic and into the realm of "if there is a Hell, it's too nice a place for this motherfucker" as the crux on which the movie lies. The problem with this is that the movie becomes exploitative. The movie turns Jeffrey Epstein's crimes into horror entertainment, and thus makes a joke of his victims. 

This is not a documentary about Epstein and it's not a drama about him. It's a movie where two young women rent a suspiciously cheap apartment in NYC, only to discover that it was owned by Epstein. One of the women, Noelle, becomes obsessed with Epstein conspiracy theories (fair enough) while the other, Addie, basically becomes possessed and spends the majority of the movie begging her boyfriend to "fuck me like I'm 13" and humping pictures of Prince Andrew while sobbing hysterically. Boy, I wish I was joking. The "reason" behind this behavior is that the CIA is controlling Addie's weak mind...or the apartment is possessing her...or something about the occult...? It's never really explained.

I've watched Salo. I've watched Martyrs. I've watched movies where nuns use a crucifix to masturbate (Ken Russell's The Devils--highly recommended!). I am not easily offended by radical and blasphemous ideas in film. But this movie offended me. Like I said above, whether intentional or not, the movie makes a joke out of the many children who were raped by Jeffrey Epstein and his friends. I'm sure the director would say that she wasn't intending that to be the message, but that is how it feels when we see Addie furiously masturbating to a picture of Prince Andrew and whining in a high-pitched, childlike voice. 

Fuck this movie. I recommend staying far away from it. 

Grade: F

***

Experimenter

Written and directed by Michael Almereyda, Experimenter is a biographical drama about the life and work of Stanley Milgram (played by one of my faves, Peter Sarsgaard). 

In case you skipped Psych 101 in college--Milgram is the guy who would have an authority figure tell a participant in the experiment to deliver electric shocks to another participant when they made mistakes, even when the participant being shocked begged the other participant to stop. Often, the person delivering the shocks would ask the authority figure (just a guy in a lab coat) if they could stop the experiment and the authority figure would always say no. In 65% of the experiments, the person delivering the shocks would keep going until the other participant (often in another room) would stop responding as if they were hurt, passed out, or even dead.

Now it turns out that the participant in the other room receiving "shocks" was actually in on the whole thing and was not being shocked at all and only faking their distress. The experiment was all about if people would listen to an authority figure even if that person was telling them to hurt someone else. 65% of time, regardless of gender or race, the person in the experiment would do just that.

The movie delves into Milgram's personal life (he was Jewish and was motivated to create this experiment based on the trial of Nazi Adolf Eichmann who claimed that those who committed atrocities during the Holocaust were just following orders) and his other experiments (the lost letter experiment, which is much cheerier than the shock experiment). Experimenter is a very solid biopic with a great cast...but I feel like it's less about being a good movie, and more about serving as a tribute to a man who conducted one of the most important experiments of the 20th century. If the movie inspires people to learn more about Milgram and about human psychology, then it has done its job.

Grade: B

***

Succession (season 1)

Succession is a good show about contemptible people. Very well-written, often hilarious, and with wall-to-wall fantastic acting, Succession is still difficult to watch because all the characters are rotten to their core, none more than the patriarch Logan Roy (Brian Cox) who, frankly, can fuck right off to hell in my opinion. But his progeny, Connor the milquetoast coward (Alan Ruck), Kendall, the entitled bro (Jeremy Strong), Siobhan, the faithless bitch (Sarah Snook), and Roman, the disgusting psychopath (Kieran Culkin) are all equally fucked up. 

Now, of course, as you watch you see glimmers of humanity in all of these people, but at the end of the day this isn't a show about well-rounded and flawed characters doing their best in this crazy world. It's about the super wealthy taking out their massive psychological problems on other people and doing so in comfort and style. I'm probably going to keep watching for the clever writing and to see if maybe at the end of the series they all die (in great pain) in a fire. One can only hope!

Grade: B+

Tom Wambsgans, still a piece of shit but the only character I don't want to murder at all times.

***

DNFed:

House of Darkness

When I saw that this mediocre vampire movie was written and directed by Neil LaBute, I wasn't surprised. It has his signature cringe gender politics (LaBute strikes me as a misogynist who hides his true feelings in plain sight by writing pathetic, asshole men into his plays and movies). I didn't have the patience for it, so I turned it off.

The Autopsy of Jane Doe

The premise is intriguing (two men do an autopsy of a young woman with very mysterious symptoms--for example, her lungs are burnt to a crisp while her skin is unburned) but, 1) Emile Hirsch is in it and he's a violent asshole (he assaulted a woman and strangled her in 2015) and 2) I just wasn't feeling it. So I looked up what happens at the end and just stopped watching.

Dashcam

I was warned about this one. The main character, Annie Hardy, is an indie singer playing herself and, unfortunately, she is profoundly annoying. Hardy is a Trump-supporting, anti-vaxxer who is also just very loud and the human equivalent of nails on a chalkboard. This is a found-footage horror movie, but the real horror is the MAGA asshole treating everyone around her like shit. There was no way I was watching the entire movie, especially when I found out (SPOILER!!!!!!) that Hardy doesn't die in the end. 

***

Rewatched:

Fargo - A+

The Departed - A

Game Night - B+

Freudian Slip

Movies: Beau is Afraid

Between Skinamarink, Infinity Pool, are Ari Aster's latest film, Beau is Afraid, we are getting some wild shit in theatres these days and I. Am. Loving. It.

After the success of Hereditary and Midsommar, horror buffs were waiting with bated breath for Ari Aster's next film. But as images and information about the film started coming out, it was hard to tell exactly what this movie was going to be about. We knew it would be a three hour long film starring Joaquin Phoenix and that was about it (or, at least, the extent to which I knew about it going in).

Beau is Afraid has been categorized as a "horror-comedy", but personally I would describe it as a surrealist comedy where horrific things happen. The film is about a man, Beau Wasserman (Phoenix being very Phoenix-y), who suffers from intense, chronic anxiety. The opening scene is Beau meeting with his therapist (Stephen McKinley Henderson) and airing concerns that he might have stomach cancer after swallowing some mouthwash by accident.

But unlike most people who suffer from chronic anxiety, Beau actually lives in a world in which his worst fears come true all the time. Beau lives in a shady neighborhood where he has to dodge knife-wielding naked men and violent skinheads just to get to his apartment. The apartment, by the way, is home to brown recluse spiders and the water gets turned off right after Beau takes anxiety meds that his therapist warns MUST be taken with water. When Beau fearfully leaves his apartment to buy a bottle of water, he comes up ten cents short and the bodega owner screams that he will call the police on him...etc etc. Basically, the movie is like "what if all the dumb shit you worry about actually came true all at once?"

Beau ends up on a journey to visit his overbearing mother, Mona (played in flashbacks by Zoe Lister-Jones and in present day by Patti LuPone). Of course, this journey is beset with obstacles, including Beau being hit by a car and having to recuperate at a couples' home. The couple, played by Nathan Lane and Amy Ryan, serve to further confuse and frighten Beau, as does their aggressive teenage daughter. Again, nothing is easy for Beau and when tragedy that has nothing to do with him strikes, he is blamed for it and forced to run away. That's another theme of the movie: guilt. Especially too much guilt for small things or things that aren't actually your fault.

Beau is Afraid leans into being outrageous and over-the-top. It would be annoying if the film wasn't so damn funny. The first hour has the most jokes and visual gags-per-minute, but depending on how dark and weird your sense of humor is, there are laughs to be had all the way until the bitter end of this fucked up Freudian nightmare. Aster showed off his sense of humor in Midsommar, which has some pretty funny moments in between a lot of emotionally heavy shit. He goes full-on surrealist comedy with Beau is Afraid. Some of the jokes are hidden in the production design and only visible for a few seconds of the film (for example, Beau is seen warming up a Hawaiian/Irish frozen meal from a company called O'Aloha)...and some of the jokes involve enormous testicles giant penis monsters. I'm not even kidding.

Here are a few ways I described Beau is Afraid to others:

• It's like if Wes Anderson directed a horror movie while on drugs.
• It's like a Hieronymous Bosch painting.
• It reminds me a lot of the show Big Mouth (it has: anthropomorphic genitalia, Richard Kind, Jewish fretting, etc). 

If any of that sounds like your cup of tea, you'll probably enjoy it. If you are confused or turned off by the above statements, you'll probably hate it. It's a very divisive film.

I do have some criticisms of the movie. For one thing, there is zero character growth or change. Beau is Afraid is a journey movie, where a character must travel and overcome obstacles to get to where he is going. Typically, journey movies involve spiritual changes in the main character(s) as well. Beau ends exactly as he begins: a terrified, cowed man, whimpering and blubbering for help and forgiveness. And none of the other characters are in the movie long enough to experience change. 

I was left wondering what the point was. The movie is hilarious and fun to look at, but other than that, it's pretty shallow. Sure, there is "symbolism" and "a message", but unlike Midsommar, which had some interesting things to say about how cults prey on vulnerable people and how grief can lead to profound loneliness, Beau is Afraid doesn't feel like a full meal. It feels like you ate a bag of potato chips and expected to feel full. 

I feel like the plot alone earns a C, but the production design, humor, and sheer audacity of the movie raise it to a B+. It's my third favorite Ari Aster film (not including his short films), but the worst Aster film is still better than a lot of movies. Do I recommend it? Well, you probably already know if you're the kind of person who is going to enjoy, or at least appreciate, this movie. Follow your heart. Or, in this case, your enormous, distended testicles. 

Grade: B+