Furious
This show was sold to me as "A woman serial killer who kills human traffickers" and that was all I needed to go home and start watching that very evening. And while the premise is a bit more complicated than that, Furious is a very satisfying "No one is coming to save us" show about misogyny and fighting dirty.
Lola Petticrew (best know for their lead role in Say Nothing) plays Catherine Grace, a master of disguise and manipulation who targets rich and powerful men who all have something in common: a connection to Jay Easton. Easton is a rich and powerful elderly man with a penchant for sleeping with underage girls who were forced into sex work. Catherine was, of course, one of those girls.
Emmy Rossum plays Alice Black, an FBI agent who sees a connection between seemingly unconnected homicides and gets roped into the case by a former colleague, Danny Kelly (Scoot McNairy). Alice is wary of working close to old colleagues from the NYPD homicide department because she was severely beaten by her ex who still works in the same department, Marshall Connelly (Jake Lacy).
As Alice learns more about Catherine's motives for murder it becomes difficult to separate the ethics her job holds her to and the seething rage she feels as a woman who called out abuse and was rejected by nearly everyone in her life.
Furious is a TV show for our post-Epstein world. Be careful...it might inspire you to take matters into your own hands.
Grade: B+
***
Saturday Night
This fun and energetic movie, directed by Jason Reitman, chronicles the 90 minutes leading up to the airing of the first episode of Saturday Night Live. As you can imagine, the cast of this film is huge, with a nice mix of younger up-and-coming actors as well as veterans (Willem Dafoe and JK Simmons among them). Half the fun is marveling at new faces playing young versions of comedic legends. Dylan O'Brien does a wonderful Dan Aykroyd. Cory Michael Smith captures Chevy Chase's arrogance. Nicholas Braun plays a double role as Jim Henson and Andy Kaufman...etc, etc.
Saturday Night would be a great companion piece to one of the many oral histories of the early SNL years. There are a lot of things that happen in this movie that make me wonder "did that really happen?" (Milton Berle [JK Simmons] whipping his dick out to intimidate Chevy Chase for one). But having not read any of those histories, I just had to take the movie on faith. Even if you're only nominally familiar with the history of SNL, Saturday Night makes for a great, raucous comedy about how "the show must go on" even if the sets are on fire and the cast is physically fighting each other.
Grade: A-
***
Coyote Vs. Acme
This absolutely delightful film was nearly buried by Warner Brothers after filming was complete, but thankfully another distributor, Ketchup Entertainment, bought the rights and brought the film to theatres. Which is a wonderful thing because Coyote Vs. Acme is funny, heartwarming, and a family-friendly film that adults will get as much of a kick out of as the kids.
After years spent trying to catch the Road Runner using every possible contraption from Acme Products only for each device to misfire, fail, or literally blow up in his face, Wile E. Coyote decides to take Acme to court. He contacts Kevin Avery (Will Forte) of the Avery, Jones, & Maltese law firm for help. The only problem is that Kevin Avery's goal with every personal injury lawsuit that cartoons bring up against Acme is to "settle, settle, settle". But settling isn't good enough for Mr. Coyote. He wants to fully take on the Acme Corporation and truly make them pay.
You might think that a legal thriller involving a mixture of animation and live action sounds odd, but the film is so fun and silly. It's got a lot of humor that will fly right over kids' heads (the use of the song "Nobody Speak" by Run the Jewels with the Road Runner's signature "meeps" censoring the swear words is a high point), but it's still plenty cartoony for the little ones.
Will Forte is the perfect actor to portray a small-time personal injury lawyer in over his head, and John Cena is the perfect actor to portray Buddy Crane, Acme's big shot lawyer. Of course, all your favorite 'toons are here too: Bugs, Tweety, Daffy, and even Peter Lorre! Moviegoers such as myself who tend towards darker, adult-themed movies will find Coyote Vs. Acme to be a good PG-rated film that doesn't feel overly sweet or childish.
Grade: B+
***
Practical Magic 2
I can't properly review Practical Magic 2 because I missed about 20 minutes of the film during the process of getting a group of drunk, belligerent, middle-aged white women kicked out of the theatre. Was I being a snitch? A Karen? No, I was not, because this group of ladies arrived three sheets to the wind, sat directly behind my group of friends, and proceeded to talk throughout the previews and WELL into the movie. Not 5 minutes into the movie, not 10...but 30, 40, 50 minutes in and they were still yapping. Yapping about the movie, about their post-movie plans, snickering about how they're going to get kicked out. And they manifested it into reality.
I told them to be quiet, that this isn't their living room, and they said "It IS our living room" and called me a "motherfucker". So, I got a manager and security guard. They ended up getting kicked out and then apparently proceeded to threaten to kick the ass of the (armed) security guard and filmed the guard while claiming they were victims of "racism" (the ladies were white). So, in other words, they were Trump voters: stupid, annoying, and looking for a fight.
They also called my friends "faggots" (we're all women, so I would have gone for "dykes", but hey, that's just me). So, again, Trump voters. You just know that were looking for an excuse to use a slur, whether it made any damn sense to use it or not.
How was the movie? Well, it was corny and overwritten, as expected. Lee Pace is a very attractive man so I liked looking at him. But it was by far not the worst movie I've ever seen, even this year! And because of the drunken morons behind us, seeing it is an experience I'll never forget.
Grade: C+
***
Resident Evil
As someone who has never seen the previous Resident Evil films, never played the Resident Evil video games, and, hell, never played ANY video games other than Mario Party and Mario Kart, I'm perhaps the ideal person to watch this film and judge it for what it is, not in comparison to anything else.
And it's a very fun and gross horror comedy!
Directed by Zach Cregger, Resident Evil follows Bryan (Austin Abrams), a medical courier and all around average guy. While delivering a high priority package to Raccoon City General Hospital during a snowstorm, he accidentally hits a woman in the road. This sets off a series of propulsive and terrifying events, forcing Bryan to fight for his life, but also still deliver the damn package.
I don't think it's a spoiler to say that Raccoon City has been hit with an outbreak, turning people into...er...zombies? Except, like, more monstrous zombies? And they're un-killable? And they grow these tentacle-like things and attach to other zombies, forming unholy monsters made of jumbled body parts that chase Bryan no matter how far he runs?
The body horror in Resident Evil is top-notch. It's disgusting and unnerving. There's a scene in the first third of the film where two supposedly dead zombie-people grow these tentacles out of their head and attach to one another and it's just makes your skin crawl!
The movie is also funny as fuck. And I do mean "fuck" because Bryan says that word a lot. Like, a lot a lot. Part of the fun is following this dude who is totally in over his head as he tries to use guns against the zombies (remarking that he's only ever used guns in "video games" --har har) and desperately make it to Raccoon City General Hospital after learning that the item he is delivering is part of a cure for the outbreak. Part of the humor is watching Bryan make bad, but realistic choices (for example: trying to take the elevator at the hospital after being warned to not use the elevator under any circumstances...because the floor he needs to get to is 26 flights up. Whomst among us could judge!?
Abrams is so good as the flailing, yet courageous Bryan. Abrams was in Cregger's last film, Weapons, where he stole the show as James, the twitchy junkie. He has a great sense of physical humor, especially in his facial expressions.
Resident Evil isn't an all-timer for me, but it was a really fun horror comedy that felt genuinely scary (there are some well-earned jump scares in addition to the unsettling body horror) but also freaking hilarious.
Grade: B
***
Art School Confidential
I saw this movie when it first came out in theatres despite Entertainment Weekly--my Bible at the time--giving it a "D" rating. During the film I thought, "Wow, it really is that bad". I've given it a second chance 20 years later and I can report: wow, it really is still that bad.
What is especially disappointing about Art School Confidential is that it's directed by Terry Zwigoff and written by Daniel Clowes--the same guys who wrote and directed Ghost World, which is a flat-out masterpiece. Where Ghost World is a timeless exploration of post-high school ennui and discontent with the "real world", Art School Confidential is a deeply unfunny and deeply homophobic "satire" of art school with "jokes" so half-assed one can barely muster contempt for them.
Max Minghella plays Jerome Platz, a nerdy loner who goes to art school mostly to get laid. He obsesses over Audrey (Sophia Myles), an art model with a famous artist dad. Jerome wants to impress Audrey and the rest of his classmates with his talent, but everyone is focused on the (objectively terrible) paintings done by Jonah (Matt Keeslar), a guy who looks like he'd be more comfortable in the weight room than in an art class.
Meanwhile, the "Strathmore Strangler", a serial killer with a penchant for, well, strangling his victims, is on the loose. The serial killer plot line and Jerome trying to get his dick wet plot line eventually cross. But nothing about this film is thrilling, funny, or interesting. There are a few laughs, such as when the art professor, played by John Malkovich, ponders a painting that says "We Live in a Police State" and then turns to the class and says "ain't that the truth!", but they are few and far between.
Please skip this film unless you want to see a good example of the faux-edgy, gay joke-ridden films that plagued the early 2000s. You'd be hard pressed to find a better exemplar.
Grade: D
