The COVID Diaries--Part 3

Movies: various

Here's what I'm watching during the quarantine for  COVID-19.

***

Antichrist

[Trigger warning: discussion of violence, child death, and genital mutilation]

Anyone who knows anything about Lars von Trier's 2009 film Antichrist knows why the film is so infamous. In addition to a self-disemboweling fox that says "chaos reigns" and a scene where an unconscious man is masturbated to completion and ejaculates blood, there is a full-blown self-clitoredectomy via scissors--and yes, you see everything.

An average person may ask "Why!? Why, God, why!?" But cinema buffs will simply answer: Lars von Trier. This is what he does, man. Antichrist is perhaps his most extreme film in terms of showing violence, but it is par for the course in terms of showing extreme emotion, degradation of women, and taking the audience to their limits.

Here's the thing: I fucking love Lars von Trier. The man himself is a horrible piece of shit by all accounts, but his movies are, in my opinion, very good and unafraid to really make you feel something. I would only recommend his films Breaking the Waves and Melancholia to the uninitiated since they are *slightly* more accessible.

Von Trier's films focus on women suffering* and Antichrist is no different. Charlotte Gainsbourg and Willem Dafoe (both amazing in this movie) play a couple (unnamed) who lost their toddler son (they were having crazy monkey sex and the kid fell through a window, which adds a layer of guilt to the whole thing). The husband is a psychologist and is convinced his grief-stricken wife will improve if they go out to a remote cabin in the woods called Eden where she spent the previous summer working on her thesis. Well, things don't go as planned and eventually the woman, and all of nature, turn on the man.

A big idea in the film is that women and nature are both inherently evil. The woman's thesis was on "gynocide"--basically, the torture and murder of women throughout history. But her work on the thesis convinces her that women ARE, in fact, evil...and eventually this plays out in reality as she attacks the man and tries to kill him. In addition, the film touches on severe depression and grief and the ways is can destroy a person if not handled correctly.

*You may be asking, "Jenny, why do you, a feminist, like the work of a director who focuses so much on women suffering?" I answer: because I personally feel that there is more to these films than the overlay of misogyny. I think by portraying extreme misogyny, von Trier (who is arguably a misogynist himself) reveals how evil such hatred and violence is and, ultimately, how women (as a group) cannot be kept down and will always prevail in the face of it. That said, I understand why some folks avoid von Trier's films like the plague. They are not easy things to digest.

In conclusion: Antichrist is a beautiful film that depicts ugly things. But if you can get past the actual imagery to the ideas they represent, I think you will find that this film is an intense meditation on grief, guilt, and healing. Also: don't watch it unless you know exactly what you're getting into.

Grade: B+

***

The Night Porter

[Trigger warning: Nazis]

Here's another movie that is very good, yet hard to digest. Italian director Liliana Cavani's 1974 film stars (a very, very good) Dirk Bogarde as Max, a former Nazi SS officer who works as a night porter in a hotel in Vienna. One day, a well-regarded orchestra conductor checks into the hotel with his wife, Lucia (Charlotte Rampling, also great). Lucia was the daughter of a socialist during the second World War and was sent to a concentration camp, where she became the plaything/lover/victim of Max.

Max is startled and terrified to see Lucia and she is shocked to see him as well. The film shows their "relationship" in brief flashbacks and reveals how Max tormented Lucia and then became her protector, in a way. The climax of the film is an infamous scene where Lucia, wearing only an SS cap, pants, and suspenders, entertains a group of SS officers by singing Marlene Dietrich's "If I Could Make a Wish". As a reward, Max gives her a box containing the head of a prisoner who had been bullying her.

Lucia and Max almost immediately fall back into the dynamics of their relationship, which could be called sadomasochistic but minus the "safe, sane, and consensual" part. Well, perhaps it is consensual (as Lucia argues to another ex-Naxi), but it is hardly sane.

Watching Lucia and Max's affair is, to put it lightly, difficult. The chemistry between Bogarde and Rampling is off the fucking charts, which causes the viewer to empathize with them and even root for them, against all reason and logic. However, the two lovers are doomed. Max is part of a circle of ex-Nazis who are keen on "filing" (i.e. murdering) any witnesses to their war crimes and atrocities and Lucia is no exception. When Max decides to choose her over them, he seals their fate.

Cavani's film is considered both a great work of art and a low-brow piece of exploitative trash. It is perhaps the Citizen Kane of Nazisploitation films which had a big moment in the 60s and 70s (and live on today in films such as Inglourious Basterds). I only recommend this film to folks who can parse the absolute evil of Nazis with a story in which a Nazi is still the bad guy, yet is humanized. Not everyone wants to watch that, for good reason, especially today. But in general, Cavani's The Night Porter is a challenging, well-acted film.

Grade: A-

***

Certified Copy

Now here is a film I really thought I'd like more than I did, especially since it consistently appears on lists of "top films of the 21st century" and "top films of the 2010s". Iranian director Abbas Kiarostami directs Juliette Binoche (never not great) and William Shimell in a story about two strangers whose relationship changes dramatically over the course of one day.

Shimell plays James Miller, a writer whose new book, Certified Copy, argues that authenticity and originality in art are meaningless since everything is a copy of something and that a well-done copy of a famous work of art is as good as, perhaps even better, than the original. He meets Binoche (not given a name in this film) in Tuscany during a book talk and the two meet up and go for a drive. They discuss the ideas in the book and even argue a bit.

While in a coffee shop, a woman mistakes the two for a married couple. Binoche plays along, saying they've been married for 15 years. She tells James about the confusion and he plays along too. But when the two leave, they continue to act and talk as if they in fact ARE a married couple. They argue about their son's behavior, about how he fell asleep on their 15th wedding anniversary, and about other things couples argue about.

That's basically it--that's the movie. It's really less about the plot and more about the ideas, which boil down to: truth is in the eye of the beholder. The mystery of the film is: are these two actually married and just playing a weird, flirtatious game pretending to be strangers? The answer is: it doesn't matter. The truth is what you make of it. Just as Miller argues in his book that a copy is no worse than an original since an original is copying something or someone else, the film Certified Copy argues that inauthenticity is the same as authenticity if others perceive it to be true.

The film is peppered with weird little examples of this. For example, there is a scene in which it seems like an older man is talking down to and being quite mean to a woman, his wife. But then he turns around and it is revealed that he is actually on the phone, yelling at someone, and not at his wife. Another example is when Binoche mentions offhand that her sister loves costume jewelry and then later, while freshening up in a bathroom, pulls some costume earring out of her purse and puts them on.

Overall, I enjoyed this film. But I also found it a bit boring and meandering. It didn't suck me in the way I thought it would. And, this will amuse my readers, even though I can watch movies about Nazi love affairs and genital mutilation, as shown above, I really struggle to watch couples fight. It grates on me in a way more extreme content doesn't. While the "fighting" is usually playful in Certified Copy, there was enough of it that it got on my nerves big time.

Grade: B

***

4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Day

[Trigger warning: abortion]

I'm just watching all the cheery movies during the quarantine, huh? Cristian Mungiu's 2007 film takes place in 1987 Romania--not a very cheery place to live given the Communist government's extreme restrictions on its citizens, but an especially bad time and place to live if you're a pregnant woman who doesn't want to be pregnant.

University students and roommates Otilia and Gabita are planning on procuring an illegal abortion for Gabita. Gabita is meek and weak, so Otilia ends up doing to bulk of the work: borrowing money to fund the expensive, underground procedure, trying to book a hotel, and meeting with the abortionist, Mr. Bebe.

Mr. Bebe is extremely unhappy to find out that the women couldn't get a room in the hotel he wanted (presumably he's known at certain hotels and can be assured the workers won't rat him out to the authorities). He's further infuriated to find out that Gabita is well into her 4th month of pregnancy and not, as she told on the phone, only two months pregnant. Because of these hassles, and because he's a fucking despicable pig, Bebe makes it clear he expects to have sex with both women in exchange for the abortion. They go along with it.

The movie pauses to follow Otilia to her boyfriend's house for supper while Gabita recovers in the hotel room. At dinner, the older guests talk about the "good old days" when younger people respected their elders. Afterward, Otilia returns to help dispose of the fetus.

Obviously, 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days is not a happy film. It's a movie that shows how a corrupt government which limits people's reproductive choices (as well as career choices and freedom of speech, as Romania did during the reign of Nicolae Ceausescu. Communism isn't all that fucking great, folks) forces people into dangerous and degrading situations. I'm not just shitting on Romania here, because *obviously* it can/did/currently is happening in the United States. Anyone who is anti-abortion should consider the lengths people will go to end a pregnancy and maybe rethink their strategies.

But it's also a film about women taking care of other women, no matter the cost. And not in a feel good "sisterhood" type way, but with a grim sense that this is how women survive: by fucking an abortionist so their friend's life isn't ruined. Otilia is exasperated by Gabita's lies and weakness. She is forced to be the strong one. But women before her and after her have done worse to help a friend in need.

Grade: B+

***

The Hypnotist 

Anna Biller's The Love Witch is one of my favorite movies. It's a sort of homage/parody of films of the 40s, 50s, and 60s, filmed in brilliant technicolor and with purposefully "classic" acting (I'm not sure exactly how to describe it, you just have to watch it). So I was delighted to see one of her earlier films on The Criterion Channel. The Hypnotist is a 45 minute film that is obviously parodying thrillers/film noirs of the mid-twentieth century. The set design, clothing, and use of technicolor could easily fool an uninformed viewer into thinking the movie was made 60 or 70 years ago.

However, unlike The Love Witch, which had a playful take on feminism and femme fatales, The Hypnotist doesn't really care to be anything but ridiculous and weird. Which still makes for an entertaining movie. An old, extremely wealthy man, Mr. Cooke, dies and stipulates in his will that in order to inherit his money, his three adult children--Charles, Beatrice, and William--must live together in the family mansion for the rest of their lives. Sadly, the Cooke children all hate each other, especially hard-drinking Beatrice and snide, effeminate Charles. So Charles hires one Dr. Schadenfreude ostensibly to serve as psychoanalyst to the Cooke's sickly mother, but actually to declare his siblings insane so that he, Charles, can commit them to an institution and keep all the inheritance for himself.

This overheated, intentionally poorly-acted (so, in a weird way, I guess it was well-acted!), cheesy short film was a hoot. Not nearly as good as The Love Witch, but it shows Biller's roots as a wildy creative visionary director.

Grade: B+

Dr. Schadenfreude at your service.

The COVID Diaries--Part 2

Movies: various

Here's what I'm watching during the quarantine for  COVID-19.

***

Blow the Man Down

Written and directed by Danielle Krudy and Bridget Savage Cole, Blow the Man Down is an absolutely delightful, strange little comedy-thriller. The film takes place in Easter Cove, Maine--a small town that relies on fishing as its main source of income. Morgan Saylor and Sophie Lowe play sisters Mary Beth and Priscilla Connolly, whose mother just passed away, leaving them the family fish shop. On the night of the funeral, the sisters get into an argument and Mary Beth, the younger and more reckless of the two, leaves in a huff and goes to a local watering hole where she gets drunk with Gorski (Ebon Moss-Bachrach, whom you might recognize as Desi from Girls). When they arrive at Gorski's house, he pops the trunk and for a second, Mary Beth sees blood, hair, and women's clothing in the trunk. This leads to a scuffle where Mary Beth fights Gorski and ends up skewering him with a harpoon and beating his head in with a brick.


After coming clean to her sister, the two young women chop the body up and throw it into the sea, thinking that's the end of that. But when a different body--that of a local sex worker--washes ashore, the sisters get pulled into the dark underbelly of Easter Cove, which involves a local brothel run by Enid Devlin (Margo Martindale, amazing as always). The film slowly reveals secrets and betrayals among the matriarchs of the town (played by Martindale, June Squibb, Annette O'Toole, and Marceline Hugot--the film is packed with talented actresses).

Blow the Man Down has literally everything you could want in a movie: sea shanties, death-by-harpoon, a nearly all-female cast including a number of women over 60, thick New England accents, and fish guts galore! Basically, imagine if Manchester By The Sea was 100x funnier (but still dark) and didn't star an abusive asshole as the main character.

I HIGHLY recommend Blow the Man Down to all movie lovers.

Grade: A

***

Safe

Well, I wouldn't recommend Todd Haynes' Safe to everyone, especially these days, but it is an absolute masterpiece. Though the film came out in 1995, it is set in 1987. Julianne Moore plays Carol White, a very wealthy homemaker who lives in a giant home in the San Fernando Valley with her husband and stepson. She is extremely timid and polite and spends her days ordering fancy furniture and lunching with her other housewife friends.

But Carol starts to feel vaguely ill, and overly sensitive to chemicals around her. It starts inconspicuously enough when she has a coughing fit after driving behind a truck emitting exhaust fumes. But soon she is having allergic reactions to everything: milk, pesticides, and her expensive new couch. Her doctor says nothing is medically wrong with her and her husband is annoyed by his wife's ailments. Carol finds a flier in her gym about chemical sensitively that leads her to stay at a retreat called Wrenwood, where people can strip away all the chemicals in daily life in order to reduce their chemical load--or "clear" as the call it.


Safe is ambiguous about Wrenwood. To the outside observer, the retreat is a chemical-free place for folks to heal. But the founder of Wrenwood, Peter Dunning (Peter Friedman), comes off as a cult leader, especially in his insistence that individuals cause their own sickness by being filled with anger, rage, and despair. To me, the bigger idea in Safe is that even though Carol is truly physically sensitive to chemicals, she's also spiritually sick. Her life is empty: she lives in a huge house with a husband who treats her more as a nuisance than as a partner. She spends her days with inauthentic people talking about fruit diets and baby showers. At Wrenwood, all of the luxuries of her life are stripped away and she has to confront herself head on.

Safe is a masterpiece of social commentary and how we tend to fill ourselves up with material possessions and mindless activities in order to blot out the yawning emptiness inside. In a way, Carol's illness is a gift since it no longer allows her to live a shallow, unthinking life.

Grade: A-

***

Always Be My Maybe

I don't care for most romantic comedies. AV Club has a series called When Romance Met Comedy, which explores romantic comedies and their impact on culture. Scrolling through the entries in this series, I realize that nearly every movie they cover I either haven't seen or don't like. Why is this? I think I have two problems with the genre: 1) it's formulaic and 2) it's inauthentic. Real love doesn't look like romantic comedy, and I'm more interested and emotionally drawn to realistic depictions of love.

All this is to say that, yeah, the Netflix original Always Be My Maybe is a conventional romantic comedy. It has: misunderstandings that could be cleared up with one honest conversation, wise old people dispensing common sense, wacky sidekicks, cross-country travels in order to make grand gestures, annoying love interests the main characters have to dump in order to be with "the One". I could go on....but...

...but Always Be My Maybe has a trick card up its sleeve in the form of a dope and hilarious cameo that takes the movie from "meh" to actually kind of hilarious in the couple scenes this person is in. Ali Wong and Randall Park as Sasha and Marcus, the lovebirds at the center of the film, are really great (though it was weird to see Ali Wong doing PG-13 comedy) but this cameo, you guys. It makes the entire movie worth watching.

In conclusion: I am a monster that hates love, but loves cameos where famous actors portray asshole versions of their real selves. Always Be My Maybe is cute, sweet, at times laugh-out-loud funny even if it is formulaic and cliche-ridden.

Grade: B

***

The Platform

And here we have the complete opposite of a sweet rom-com: a dystopian thriller/social commentary film that takes place in a vertical prison where a platform of food is sent down level by level--each lower levels gets the leftovers of the levels above, and of course because people people are disgusting, selfish animals, by the time it reaches the lower levels there is no food left.

The Platform is pretty fuckin' on the nose. You're telling me if people only took what they need in life there would be plenty for all? My mind is blown. But the movie gets points for capturing my attention and not letting go until the end. The main character is Goreng (Ivan Massague), an intellectual who trades six months in the prison for a college degree (which hints at, but maddeningly never fully explains, what the actual fuck is up with this prison in the first place). He wakes up in a cell with Trimagasi (Zorion Eguileor), a jaded old man who explains how this shit works. Each month, the two will wake up on another level--and there is no rhyme or reason to how high or low they go (i.e. you don't get to a higher level for good behavior...much like how social class works in reality).

You can probably guess what folks on the lower levels resort to in order to survive, but Goreng is different--he wants to find a way to send a message to everyone in the prison. To figure out how to get food to the lower levels and/or get the people at the top to figure out a new system.

As I said, The Platform is very unsubtle in its symbolism, but it's still an interesting, shocking film and one that I'm still thinking about a week after seeing it. It's not quite Snowpiercer, but it's worth a watch if you like sci-fi/horror/thriller.

Grade: B+

The COVID Diaries--Part 1

Movies: various

Here is what I am watching (so far) during the quarantine for COVID-19.

***

Audition 

I saw this infamous Takashi Miike slow burn film years ago, so this was a rewatch. I have to say, the second time around simply does not have the same impact as the first time around. For obvious reasons. If you haven't seen the movie--do yourself a favor and don't read anything about it, just watch it (and brace yourself). If you have seen the movie, you know what a jarring experience it is.

What starts out as a drama/romance turns into something incredibly disturbing when a middle-aged widower holds a fake movie audition to find a wife. He claims to his movie producer friend he wants a "mature" woman. LOL. He's looking for a sweet, pretty, submissive bride. And he seems to find one in Asami, a young woman whose career in ballet was tragically cut short due to a hip injury. But Asami is not what she seems. Hint: if you have a phobia of needles (or vomit), sit this one out.

Grade: B

***

The Taking of Deborah Logan

This found footage horror film has a unique angle. A documentary team are creating a film about Deborah Logan (Jill Larson), an older woman in the early stages of Alzheimer's. Very quickly, things take a turn for the strange: Deborah wanders the house at night, nailing windows shut. She has random fits of aggression and violence. Some of these symptoms are typical of those with Alzheimer's...but levitating onto a counter in the middle of the night isn't. Having super strength isn't. The twist is...she's possessed!

I had mixed feelings about this film. On the one hand, the use of Alzheimer's as frame for a horror film about possession is interesting because I'm sure many folks who have loved ones who suffer from the disease feel very much like their loved one is "possessed" or not themselves. The problem is that this film borders on exploiting the very real, very devastating disease and how it can take not only memories, but dignity away from the sufferer. Too many horror films make mental illness the "demon" or the "ghost", and it's very fucked up (in this movie's case, there very much is an actual dead person possessing Deborah). The Taking of Deborah Logan walks a fine line of taste. And to be honest, the ending was kind of boring.

Grade: B-

***

Horse Girl

Horse Girl is a frustrating film. It has a lot of promise that it doesn't fulfill. Alison Brie plays Sarah, a shy, odd young woman who works at a crafts store. She doesn't have much going on in her life, other than visiting the gave of her mother, who died by suicide the previous year, and visiting the stable where her horse (or former horse? It's not clear who exactly owns this horse), Willow, resides.

Sarah begins to experience episodes in which she loses time. For example, she falls asleep at 11pm and wakes up outdoors and has to make her way home...only to see that the clock says 11:02. She begins to believe that she is being abducted and experimented on by aliens. Additionally, there is a history of mental illness in her family--not only did her mother complete suicide, her grandmother had some sort of mental breakdown as well.

The movie left me with more questions than answers, and the biggest question is: what is the point of this movie? In some ways, it's reminiscent of the kind of cute, twee movies that were popular in the early 2000s (think: Little Miss Sunshine) and still pop up these days: movies about quirky people (usually cute girls) doing quirky things. But Horse Girl is way darker. But it's also not dark enough. It doesn't commit to a genre, which I'd be ok with, but the plot is meandering and non-sensical as well, so it ultimately felt very boring to me. The best part of the film is Brie's performance, as well as a strong supporting performance by Molly Shannon as Sarah's boss at the crafts store. Sadly, these two wonderful actresses cannot save this confusing mess of a film.

Grade: C

***

Dogs Don't Wear Pants

The delightful 2019 Finnish film Dogs Don't Wear Pants has one of my favorite themes: people who discover  BDSM and decide that life is worth living (think Secretary, Sick, etc). Juha (Pekka Strang) is a nerdy doctor and father to a toddler when his wife drowns in a tragic accident. Years later, Juha is severely depressed and his now teenage daughter, Elli (Ilona Huhta), is trying to encourage him to start dating again. But dating isn't what Juha needs.

During a visit to a tattoo parlor to get Elli a tongue-piercing, Juha discovers a back room with a sex dungeon. He touches some of the dominatrix's toys and swiftly gets shoved down and choked by Mona (Krista Kosonen), a black-haired, pale-faced, leather-clad pro-domme. After the encounter, Juha feels alive in a way he hasn't in years.

He returns to Mona to engage in choking/suffocation play, which relates to his wife's death (the sensation of not being able to breathe makes Juha feel closer to his dead wife) and leads to some intensely cathartic scenes between him and Mona. Editor's note: um, don't try this at home kids. It can literally kill you.

I really enjoyed Dogs Don't Wear Pants, but I had some issues with it which bump it from an A-level grade. For one, Juha becomes addicted to seeing Mona and starts to stalk her when she no longer takes his calls. He even follows her at night at one point. The fact that he's a gangly, bespectacled, nerdy dad doesn't excuse him from treating sex workers with respect. That brings me to the second issue: this film is NOT trying to accurately portray sex work. There's a lot of stuff that wouldn't happen in real life, from Mona's initial aggressive encounter with Juha to the (presumed) romance the two engage in, to the violation of boundaries on both sides. It's a romantic comedy/dramedy with leather and pain. It's not a documentary. So be aware of that if you choose to watch it.

Grade: B+

***

The Tiger King

What would March 2020 be without social distancing and Netflix's The Tiger King? This documentary chronicles the decades-long feud between Oklahoma zoo owner Joe Exotic and Carole Baskin, the founder of Big Cat Rescue in Florida. The story contains so many twists and turns, it reminds one of the adage "truth is stranger than fiction". I'm not sure I need to go into details since probably everyone and their mother has seen it and, if not, there's plenty to read about it.

However, I did not LOVE The Tiger King the way some folks did. To me, it started off very interesting and bonkers and just got less interesting as it went on. Or rather, I became less interested. I don't know why. Perhaps the sheer amount of wild details in the story just hit their max and I couldn't process anything more. Or the fact that there's basically no one to root for in the story, but there ARE casualties--human and animal. Watching so many pathetic assholes squabble and money and petty rivalries while knowing animals were being killed by these people (not all of them -- Carole Baskin, despite what she may or may not have done to her husband, is clearly the only one who gives a shit about animals) is kind of sickening after awhile. In any case, while I started out as enraptured as anyone by this koo-koo bananas story...by the end, I was over it.

Grade: B

Find Me a Find, Catch Me a Catch

Movies: Emma.

There's just something about the works of Jane Austen. Though written more than 200 years ago, her novels have a timeless freshness and humor. They also elevate women, their lives, and their pursuits. Though we may view ballroom dancing, matchmaking, and table manners as uptight fripperies from out 21st century perspective, they could literally make or break your entire life in the early 19th century--especially if you were a woman. A poor match in a husband could leave you destitute, abused, and unhappy. And divorce was not an option.

Which is why the classic comedy, Emma, may be funny but it also feels extremely serious at times. The story has been adapted for television and film a dozen times with Autumn de Wilde's latest reimagining coming in at #12. Most folks are familiar with perhaps one of the best adaptations--Amy Heckerling's Clueless. De Wilde's version hews closer to the original novel and, since its director is a renowned artist, is visually sumptuous.

Anya Taylor-Joy plays the titular young woman, described as "handsome, clever, and rich". Emma Woodhouse has the world on a silver platter: she is 21 years old, beautiful, popular, and wealthy. She fancies herself a matchmaker after pairing up a kindly widower, Mr. Weston (Rupert Graves) with her governess, Miss Taylor (Gemma Whelan). However, she finds herself very out of her depth when she tries to pair young, possibly poor Harriet Smith (Mia Goth) with a clergyman/cad, Mr. Elton (John O'Connor). If you've seen Clueless, this is the failed Elton/Tai match Cher tries to make. Throughout her meddling, Emma is scolded by Mr. Knightley (Johnny Flynn), her brother-in-law who is always hanging around.

The chemistry between Emma and Knightley is lighter and, dare I say, sexier, than that other famous Austen couple, Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy. Knightley is much less emo than the old Darce and Emma is just more fun than Lizzie (#sorrynotsorry). Knightley's criticism of Emma stems from the fact that he knows she is intelligent and that people look up to her--so when she uses her powers to forward her own agenda, she is doing both herself and everyone else a disservice. Knightley's love for Emma comes from a place of respect, knowing that she is much more than a rich girl in a pretty dress. Taylor-Joy and Flynn make a fun and compelling couple.

But really, everyone in the film does an excellent job. The cast is stacked floor to ceiling with British character actors, from Bill Nighy as Emma's dad to Miranda Hart as the dorky Miss Bates. Also, nobody here looks "Hollywood beautiful". Everyone looks...well, pretty average, which I know is a convention of British TV and film--regular folks can aspire to be actors there, not just models. But still, it's refreshing.

As mentioned above, the cinematography is gorgeous. Both the small things, like ladies' dresses, but also the views of the rolling English hills. Emma proves to be as pretty and as delightful as one of the petit fours Emma and Harriet eat during their many teas together. And the friendship between Emma and Harriet is really touching, especially when Emma realizes she has hurt her friend multiple times and now sees the error of her ways.

If you're a fan of Austen, you won't be disappointed with this adaptation. If you're not a fan, go see it anyway because it might make a fan of you.

Grade: A-

Eat Your Heart Out

Movies: Swallow

Carlo Mirabella-Davis' directorial debut, Swallow, is a good companion piece to the last movie I reviewed--The Invisible Man. They are both about women controlled by men who take their lives back.

In Swallow, the gorgeous and underrated actress Haley Bennett plays Hunter, a housewife who looks and acts like she stepped right out the 1950s and into the 21st century. Hunter is married to Richie (Austin Stowell) a rich daddy's boy with privilege coming out of his entitled ass. It's clear from their interactions that while Hunter adores Richie and just wants to please him, Richie mainly sees Hunter as another beautiful thing to be locked away in his modernist house while he goes out and masters the universe.

Soon after Hunter finds out she's pregnant, she is overcome with an irresistible urge to eat objects. It starts with a marble. Then it's a tack. Then a battery. Hunter is unable to hide her strange compulsion when an ultrasound reveals her secret. Richie and Richie's controlling parents flip their shit and put Hunter on lockdown--she is watched over day and night by a nurse and treated like a naughty child. The one saving grace of Hunter's pica diagnosis is that she begins to see a therapist, which leads her to confront her issues and her past.

I'll pause for a minute so that anyone who wants to see the movie (which is available to rent on Amazon Prime and Vudu) spoiler-free can do so (I'm going to get into spoilers below). I will say that if the thought of watching a woman put sharp objects into her mouth and swallow them makes you want to hurl, you might want to sit this one out.

Grade: A-

***

Spoilers ahead! I spoil the whole movie! Turn back now!

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Ok, so Swallow takes an interesting turn about halfway through when Hunter, almost offhandedly, reveals to her therapist that she is the product of rape. Her biological father is a random man who raped her mom. Her mom, a "religious nut" in Hunter's words, kept her because she didn't believe in abortion, even in cases of rape.

Given the fact that Hunter's pica only began after she found out she was pregnant with her twat of a husband's baby, this backstory is, uh, quite relevant to say the least. After Hunter swallows yet another sharp object, Richie and his parents plan to have her committed. But she runs away and hides out in a motel, trying to decide what to do next. Richie calls her and tells her "I will hunt you down, you ungrateful cunt". So, honeymoon's over I guess.

In an intense and deeply moving scene at the end of them movie, Hunter--who has kept a picture of her bio dad, Erwin, in her purse since forever--goes to Erwin's house and confronts him. Erwin is played by the wonderful Denis O'Hare and goddamn if he doesn't act the hell out of this scene. He is celebrating his birthday with his wife and daughter when Hunter comes in and casually mentions she's Jill McCoy's daughter. All she wants from Erwin is to hear that it's not her fault and that she's not like him. And he tells her exactly that. He doesn't deny what he did. He doesn't threaten Hunter. He doesn't lie. She asks why he raped her mom and he replies "It made me feel special". He then tells her that in jail, after being beaten nearly to death, he learned that he wasn't special. That he was shit.

After receiving this closure, Hunter goes to a doctor and gets a pill-induced abortion. By running away from her awful husband, confronting her mother's rapist, and ending her pregnancy, she has finally taken control of her life and choices.

I know my description might make the film sound melodramatic, like a soap opera, or a little too on the nose--and it was, a bit (Richie being soooo awful was a little over the top). But I didn't mind. Some folks may not like the idea of a rapist giving his victim's daughter (his own daughter) the closure she needs, and in doing so, redeem himself a tiny bit. But I was very touched by this scene--a scene of restorative justice if there ever was one. A scene where a woman is told "you are not crazy and you are not bad and you are not at fault" is a powerful thing. And her abortion was handled so casually--not a hospital gown or pair of stirrups in sight, just a woman taking some pills in a mall while eating fries. Damn if that's not a powerful feminist message.

I loved this movie and I recommend it to anyone looking for an unusual drama with a feminist bent.

Grade: A-

Vision By Gaslight

Movies: The Invisible Man

When I first saw the preview for The Invisible Man, a re-imagining of the Universal Pictures classic based on the novel by H.G. Wells, I thought it looked dumb as hell. A woman being held down in a mental institution while screaming "HE'S RIGHT THERE!!" seemed to be ripe for mockery. But then the reviews started coming in saying that the film, directed by Leigh Whannell and starring the always wonderful Elisabeth Moss, is a smart take on something many, many people have suffered through: intimate partner violence. In fact, The Invisible Man reminds me a lot of the excellent 1944 film Gaslight, which is where the term "gaslighting"--making someone doubt their own experiences and believe they are crazy--came from.

Well, I saw The Invisible Man and was not disappointed. It's one of the smartest, most twisty, most empowering horror/thrillers I've seen in a while. It is exciting, shocking, and satisfying.

Moss plays Cecilia Kass, a woman in an abusive relationship with a wealthy optics scientist, Adrian Griffin (Oliver Jackson-Cohen, best known for playing Luke Crain in The Haunting of Hill House). The opening sequence shows Cecilia quietly and strategically escaping Adrian's mansion which is tricked out with cameras and alarms. Two weeks later, while living with her good cop friend, James (Aldis Hodge), and his college-bound daughter, Sydney (Storm Reid), Cecilia receives a letter informing her that Adrian has committed suicide and left his fortune to her (contingent that she remain mentally competent and not engage in criminal activity, which becomes very relevant in the latter half of the film).

But Cecilia's relief doesn't last long. Almost immediately after she finds out Adrian is dead, she begins to feel a presence watching her and notice things out of place. Of course, since we know the title of the film is The Invisible Man, we are wise to what's up. But as Cecilia gathers more and more undeniable evidence that Adrian is not dead at all, just invisible, her friends and sister start distancing themselves from her. Her sister, Emily (Harriet Dyer), receives an email from Cecilia stating that she hates her and wishes she were dead. Of course, Emily doesn't believe Cecilia when she tearfully tells her she didn't write that email. James takes Sydney away after Sydney believes Cecilia slapped her...although we the audience know it couldn't have happened: yes, Sydney was slapped, but Cecilia never raised her hand.

It all goes absolutely bonkers from there. Cecilia realizes she needs to fight back to prove that Adrian is stalking her--but it is maddeningly difficult for her to do so since Adrian is still much physically stronger than her and everyone believes she is insane.

Like any textbook narcissistic sociopath, Adrian is unable to remain fully in control of the situation when Cecilia truly begins fighting back and by the end of the film there are plenty of witnesses to the invisible man. However, there are a number of plot twists and turns to keep the momentum going, even when a psych ward full of doctors and guards experience the wrath of the invisible man himself. The film isn't over until Cecilia realizes she has to beat Adrian at his own game.

In addition to just being a great thriller, The Invisible Man is a film about how abusers isolate their victims and make not only the victim, but the victim's loved ones, doubt the victim's version of the story. Have you ever been in a situation where someone was abused by their partner, or raped, or even just treated poorly by another person and mutual friends can't believe it because "he's always been so nice to me!" Yup, that's a tactic of abusers--they don't victimize everyone because then their jig would be up. They strategically choose their victims and then charm other people so that when their victim tells others about what's going on, mutual friends and family feel comfortable taking the side of the abusive person. I personally know a narcissist and have seen this very dynamic play out with them. Thankfully, this person is no longer in my life. And if you know someone like this, know that you are not alone and there are people who will believe you.

The National Domestic Abuse Hotline is 1-800-799-7233 and the website is https://www.thehotline.org

The Invisible Man is an excellent, entertaining film and it also sheds light on gaslighting and intimate partner violence. Go see it and talk about it with your friends. You never know who might need help and open up to you as a result.

Grade: A

Beautiful Ugliness

Movies: Hard to Be a God, The Mill and the Cross

Recent discussions with a cinephile friend caused me to remember two films I had filed away to watch and then forgot about completely: the 2011 film The Mill and the Cross directed by Lech Majewski and the 2013 film Hard to Be a God directed by the late Aleksei German. Both films are notable for their brilliant cinematography as well as the fact that not much happens in either film other than the mundanities of human life and human cruelty.

It was also hard to find both films. I rented Hard to Be a God on the streaming website Vudu for $2.99 and was able to watch The Mill and the Cross for free on another streaming site I previously hadn't heard of--Tubi. Both films are also produced by Kino Lorber, a company known for producing international cinema and weird, artistic shit.

Speaking of shit, Hard to Be a God is filled with human excrement, top to bottom and wall to wall. The film, which is in Russian with subtitles, filmed in black and white (a mercy to the audience, given what it often depicts) and is three hours long, is a slog. But it's a beautiful slog. A beautiful and often mind-numbingly boring slog.

The film takes place on a planet that is not Earth, but is very similar with one exception: it is eternally stuck in the Dark Ages. The inhabitants of this planet were never able to tip into the Renaissance because they kept killing all the intellectuals and artists (referred to as "wise guys"). A group of scientists from Earth came to this planet to observe and possibly see if they could encourage human and cultural progress without directly becoming involved in politics or technology. Well, it didn't work and now these Earthling scientists are stuck undercover on a mud-and-shit filled planet where rape, torture, and brutality are as normal as bread and butter.

The main character is Don Rumata (Leonid Yarmolnik), one of the scientists. He has gone undercover as a nobleman and he claims he was descended from a god. He is relatively kind compared to his nemesis, the disgusting Don Reba (not a scientist, an actual inhabitant of this planet). Don Reba stays in power by brutally suppressing intellectuals.

The "plot" of Hard to Be a God is incredibly thin--basically, Don Rumata travels around, people kill people, the end. What's more, the dialogue in the film is often random and non-sequitur. There is very little exposition to explain what we're watching, how any character relates to any other, etc. This is an incredibly frustrating film. The one saving grace is that the camera work and mise en scene are fascinating. The camera follows characters around in a style similar to a documentary, only much more intimate--it pushes its way right into the thick of interactions and then swivels around, giving the audience brief glimpses of an incredibly detailed tableau. I've heard the film compared to a Hieronymous Bosch painting and that description is apt. Especially since a lot of what we see is disgusting and violent--disembowelment, people pissing and shitting every where, people sniffing EVERYTHING and claiming it all smells like shit. Just general grossness and crudity.

I'm really selling this film hard, huh? But seriously, I would only recommend Hard to Be a God to big time cinephiles because it's going to be of interest to literally no one else. Hell, I'm a cinephile and I could barely stand it. That's not to say the film is "bad" in the sense of being poorly made. It's been called as masterpiece and I can see why. It took something like six years to film and another seven to edit--and the director died before it was complete, so his son and wife had to complete it for him. It's truly a unique and magnificent work of art, just not a particularly pleasant one.

Grade:
Visuals/camerawork: A
Plot: C-
Overall: B-

The Mill and the Cross is similarly beautiful to look at (much less shit, too), but in a completely different way. The film is basically a live-action rendering of Pieter Bruegel's painting The Procession to Calvary. It depicts scenes of Bruegel (played by the wonderful Rutger Hauer) discussing and painting his masterpiece, as well as scenes from the painting being acted out. It should be noted that both the actual painting and this film are a sort of mashup of the Biblical story of Jesus' procession to his crucifixion on Golgotha and the politics of 16th century Netherlands, namely the Spanish Inquisition. So while we see the crucifixion of Jesus, and Mary (Charlotte Rampling) mourning him, everyone is wearing Dutch clothing. And the men who crucify Jesus are not Romans, but Spanish militiamen. The actual procession to Calvary takes place in the streets of a Dutch city. You get the idea.

In addition to these Biblical scenes, we see scenes from everyday Dutch peasant life in 16th century, including children playing, couples fucking, and people going about their chores and work. It's really quite idyllic.

Like Hard to Be a God, The Mill and the Cross is slow-moving (though, blissfully, only 95 minutes long), occasionally violent (scenes of heretics tortured or buried alive), and fantastically detailed. But it's much more easy on the eyes. It also contains very little dialogue, preferring to show rather than tell.

The Mill and the Cross is another movie I would only recommend to dedicated cinephiles. While definitely an easier watch than Hard to Be a God, it takes a lot of patience. Watching the film is akin to visiting an art museum--a contemplative and visual experience more than an entertaining one.

Grade: 
Visuals/camerawork: A+
Plot: C
Overall: B