Movie Dump, pt. 2

Movies: Bernie, In Bruges, The Sacrament

Here's part two of my Netflix bonanza.


Bernie

Plot spoilers!

I can't believe I didn't watch this movie sooner. Directed by Richard Linklater, Bernie is, well, just about the most delightful film you'll watch about a guy who shoots a little old lady in the back.

Based on a true story, Jack Black plays Bernhardt Tiede, an assistant funeral director from Carthage, Texas. Bernie is one of the most popular men in his small community and beloved by everyone. He sings at the church, participates in community theatre, and as the assistant director of the Leggett Funeral Home, he oversees funerals with compassion and grace.

After the death of her husband, Bernie befriends Marjorie Nugent (Shirley MacLaine), a mean, hateful old broad whose reputation in Carthage is the polar opposite of Bernie's. Where Bernie is loved for his generosity and kindness, Marjorie is loathed for her spite and coldness. The two make the oddest couple (also, Bernie is in his late 30's and Marjorie in her 70's), but they find companions in one another. What starts out as beneficial to both of them--Marjorie has a travel companion who is nice to her and Bernie gets all expenses paid vacations around the world--begins to look more like indentured servitude as Marjorie gets meaner and more possessive of Bernie as time goes on. Until one day Bernie shoots Marjorie in the back and stuffs her body in a freezer. And then goes on to generously spend her money on helping out people in the community, all while pretending Marjorie is in a nursing home due to a stroke.

This movie is so great in so many ways. First, it's based on a true story and that story is bat-shit insane. They actually had to move Bernie Tiede's trial to another county because he was so well-liked in Carthage that District Attorney Danny Buck (Matthew McConaughey) didn't think he could get a conviction if the trial was held locally. The jury would be compromised.

Linklater films Bernie in partial "interview" style--not unlike Drop Dead Gorgeous and Modern Family, where the action of the film or show is broken up with characters speaking about events directly to the camera. This captures the local color of Carthage as well as the affection everyone had for Bernie despite the, uh, unpleasantness surrounding his arrest and trial.

While all the performances in Bernie are excellent, Jack Black is just...amazing. This might just be his best role to date. He captures the quirky, effeminate nature of Bernie Tiede--a sort of fussy, "light in the loafers" type of guy (there's an entire section of the film where interviewees speculate on whether Bernie is gay or not) who is also just so doggone nice and caring that you can't help but love him. By the end of the movie, you're basically like, "yeah, if I was on that jury, I'd vote to acquit him too".

Like I said, I can't believe I waited this long to watch Bernie, which has been on my Netflix queue for years. I'm glad I did because it's just...something else. I keep wanting to write that it's a "hoot", but that doesn't seem like an appropriate way to describe a movie where a guy pumps a little old lady full of lead...but here we are. It's a hoot.

Grade: A

***

In Bruges

Speaking of funny movies that involve pumping people full of lead, In Bruges is another film that mixes pathos with humor really effectively. In Bruges' reputation as a film precedes it--I kept hearing about how great this movie was and how it had a bit of a cult following. I can see why. Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson star as Ray and Ken, two hit men told to hide out in Bruges, Belgium after a job and await further instructions by their boss, Harry (Ralph Fiennes), a man with a hair-trigger temper.

Ray is recovering from a hit job gone wrong and grappling with the guilt of killing an innocent bystander. He also fucking hates Bruges and thinks it's a terrible city. Ken tries to convince him to enjoy the history and sights, but Ray would rather sulk, drink, and try to get into the pants of Chloe (Clemence Posey), a woman who also has dark secrets.

In Bruges is pretty slow until you find out the actual reason Ray and Ken are in Bruges and then it really takes off. I know I sometimes spoil plot points in these reviews, but I won't for In Bruges. Trust me, just watch it. Especially if you like the films of Quentin Tarantino and Guy Ritchie. In Bruges can be very--even shockingly--violent. It also contains offensive language, and not just the f-word. But it's also very funny and even poignant. Hell, it's just plain sad at times. I think what surprised me most about In Bruges is that it's an emotionally and ethically complex film. I thought it was just going to be a dumb shoot-em-up, but it turned out to be deeper and more existential than I thought.

Grade: A-

***

The Sacrament

Directed by the very talented Ti West, The Sacrament is essentially a mockumentary-style film that fictionalizes the Jim Jones murders. Patrick (Kentucker Audley--who wins the prize for "most ridiculously preppy name") is a journalist for Vice media whose sister, Caroline (Amy Seimetz), an ex-drug addict, has joined a self-sustaining commune in South America called Eden Parrish. Patrick's colleagues, Sam and Jake (AJ Bowen and Joe Swanberg), convince him to take them on a visit to Eden Parrish while they film the whole thing for an immersive journalism piece. Well, obviously things don't go as planned and they can tell that something is not right when they see a bunch of guys with machine guns guarding the entrance to Eden Parrish.

While Patrick and Caroline reunite, Jake and Sam interview residents of the commune. All of them seem just over the moon to be living there. Many of them are elderly and have nowhere else to go. Some, like Caroline, are recovering drug addicts. None of them seem concerned about the lack of access to any forms of communication with the outside world or the limited medical supplies in Eden Parrish. They truly seem to believe they are living in a paradise.

Sam scores an interview with "Father" (Gene Jones, giving a chilling performance), the founder of Eden Parrish who successfully dodges Sam's pointed questions about why a community devoted to peace and non-violence has men with machine guns guarding the perimeter. Father turns Sam's implied criticisms back on him, saying that it's the big cities and the media that have poisoned Sam's mind against the possibility of peace and community building.

You'd have the be an idiot not to see where all this cheerful Kumbaya-ing is actually leading. But West makes it easy for viewers when a woman and her mute child come to Sam and Jake in secret, begging for a spot on their helicopter out of the country. You won't find subtlety or many surprise twists in The Sacrament, but the scenes where shit goes down are not only horrifying--they're emotionally disturbing. Again, this is basically the Jim Jones story, only fictionalized a bit.

Personally, I really enjoyed The Sacrament. I was surprised to see that it was not very well-reviewed when it came out and some critics consider it one of Ti West's weaker movies (I've see two of his other movies--The Innkeepers and House of the Devil--and I think this one is his best). So, different strokes, I guess. If you're into suspense/horror/movies about cults, I'd give this one a whirl.

Grade: B+

Movie Dump, pt. 1

Movies: Keanu, They Look Like People, Blue Ruin

It's that time again where I have watched more movies that I can reasonably do full reviews for, so please enjoy these short reviews (and "Movie Dump, pt. 2" will be coming soon!)

***

Keanu

Keanu is a 90 minute long Key & Peele sketch. It captures the absurdity of Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele's humor, since the plot revolves the duo's attempt to rescue the titular kitten from a gang known as the Blips (if you're not in the Bloods, and you're not in the Crips...you're in the Blips!). It also addresses race, a topic often found at the center of the duo's sketches. Peele plays Rell, a heartbroken stoner recovering from a breakup. When a tiny kitten appears at his doorstep, he takes it in and names it Keanu. Key plays Clarence, Rell's cousin. Clarence is as mild as one gets--happily married, he enjoys listening to George Michael as he drives around in his minivan. After Rell's house gets broken into, the two realize that nothing of value--except Keanu--was taken. They ask Rell's next door neighbor/weed dealer Hulka (a gut-busting Will Forte, in white man dreadlocks) if he saw anything, and Hulka tells them about the 17th street Blips--a fearsome gang who likely took poor Keanu.

So Rell and Clarence, who are about as culturally "white" as the cast of Modern Family, must infiltrate the Blips and get cozy with Cheddar (Method Man), the deliciously named leader of the gang, if they want to get Keanu back. Hilarity, violence, and dropping the n-word every other sentence ensue.

I enjoyed Keanu. I think I would have enjoyed it a lot more if I was high when I watched it. (I don't get high, FYI, in case my mom is reading this...). The movie can't quite keep the joke of Clarence and Rell's total confusion about gang culture up for the length of the film. But it definitely has its moments, as well as some great cameos (including a hilarious scene with Anna Faris playing herself). Let's just say I rented Keanu for $2.97, and that's about what it's worth to pay for a viewing of it. An enjoyable comedy starring some beloved comedians, but not something you're going to watch more than once.

Grade: B-

***

They Look Like People

Similarly, They Look Like People (streaming on Netflix) is a good horror/suspense film for a boring evening at home, but it didn't knock my socks off.

In They Look Like People, Christian (Evan Dumouchel) is a single, successful guy in his late 20's. A friend of his from childhood, Wyatt (MacLeod Andrews), comes back into his life unexpectedly and stays for a visit. Something seems a little off about Wyatt--from his long, unkempt hair to the 4am phone calls he makes. The audience sees more of Wyatt's weirdness than Christian does. It turns out that Wyatt is receiving phone calls from someone who masks their voice, telling him that evil creatures have begun to infest human beings and that a war between these creatures and "good", non-infected humans is coming, prompting Wyatt to load up on weapons, including sulfuric acid.

Because we, the audience, sees what Wyatt sees and hears what he hears, we don't know if this is all in Wyatt's head or is happening for real. And that's where the tension of the film lies--especially as Wyatt becomes more and more paranoid about Christian becoming infected by one of the creatures.

You'll have to watch it to find out what happens, and I gotta say the last scene of the film is an excellent one that will have you biting your nails. Still, I felt middling about the movie. Not bad, not great.

Grade: C+

***

Blue Ruin

Directed by Jeremy Saulnier, also directed this year's excellent Green Room, Blue Ruin is a melancholy take on the revenge film genre. Macon Blair plays Dwight, who at the start of the film is living in his car and has a long, bushy beard and the haunted, puppy-dog eyes of a sensitive soul who has suffered greatly.

When he is informed by police authorities that the man who murdered his parents is out of jail, Dwight stalks the man, Wade Cleland, and his family, following them to a sleazy bar where the Cleland's family gathers to celebrate Wade's release.

Macon Blair is gripping as Dwight--he appears so mild-mannered (he looks like the love child of Matthew Broderick and Joe Lo Truglio) that when he commits a shocking act of violence, you can hardly believe he had to guts to do it. But Dwight's impulsive act sets a series of events in motion that not only put him in danger, but also puts his estranged sister, Sam, and her two young daughters in harm's way, forcing Dwight to continue his spree of violence to save what remains of his family--a family that doesn't particularly like him. There's a moment when Sam tells Dwight, "I could forgive you if you were crazy, but you're not. You're weak." By climatic ending of Blue Ruin, we realize Sam was wrong. Dwight isn't weak at all. Nor is he strong. He's simply a haunted man with absolutely nothing to lose.

Blue Ruin is less edge-of-your-seat exciting than Green Room, but it's equally well-made. For a revenge film, it's interesting that the central emotion that drives the film isn't rage, but sadness--as well as a sense of inevitability.

Grade: A-

Murder in the Dark

Movies: Don't Breathe

Don't Breathe, directed by Fede Alvarez (who also directed the Evil Dead remake in 2013), is an inventive twist on the sub-genre of home invasion films. In Don't Breathe, the predators become the prey when three young adults who break into homes and steal valuables decide to break into the home of a blind army veteran (Stephan Lang) who happens to be sitting on a load of cold, hard cash.

The trio of burglars each have a particular reason why they want to commit this act of robbery--Rocky (Jane Levy) dreams of escaping her rundown home in Detroit with her little sister and heading for California; Money (yes, that's the character's name...Money. Played by Daniel Zovatto) is in it purely for the...well, money; and timid Alex (Dylan Minnette) is in love with--and firmly friend-zoned by--Rocky, so he'll follow her like a puppy wherever.

They believe it will be easy to rob this man blind (heh), thinking he's a defenseless recluse. But when they finally bust into his veritable fortress of a house, they realize that he is the very opposite of a weak, scared old man. And despite being blind, this old SOB is going to fight back.

I'm going to go into details, including spoilers, below. But I'll say that even though Don't Breathe is very effective as a thriller--the setting is incredibly claustrophobic, making the audience feel like they are trapped in the house with the burglars--I had to knock it down a couple grade levels for two reasons. First, I felt like you had to suspend your disbelief A LOT in this movie. When it comes to the horror genre, I'm cool with a fair amount of suspension of disbelief. Teens haunted by a ghost? Sure, sounds good to me. A monster stalks a single mother? Bring it on. But when a movie is set in "the real world", I get pickier. Stephan Lang's nameless character (called "The Blind Man" in the credits) is a little TOO fierce to be believed. Sure, he's an army vet, so it makes sense that he can protect himself and fight, but this motherfucker is portrayed with Katniss Everdeen-levels of speed and agility.

Secondly, the film has some twists and turns (described below) that start out as genuinely intriguing and then just take a nosedive into needlessly creepy and WTF.

But I don't regret spending matinee prices on Don't Breathe --it's a fun popcorn flick that will thrill you.

Grade B-

***

Detailed spoilers below!

So the first half of Don't Breathe is pretty much exactly how'd you expect it to be if you saw the movie trailer--the burglars decide to rob this guy (by the way, who actually keeps a shitload of cash in their home? If this blind guy is so smart, why doesn't he get a bank account?) and then they have to spend a ton of time breaking in since this dude's house is a fortress. There are bars on all the windows, a ton of locks of every door, and a vicious dog to contend with. Once they get in, it's a miracle they don't wake this guy up immediately with all the noise they make. But they're in for a surprise when he wakes up and starts kicking ass.

The blind guy catches Money trying to pry open a bolted door in the house, disarms him, and blows him away nice as you please (good--Money is an incredibly annoying character). But because Rocky and Alex haven't made any noise, the blind guy doesn't know they're there...yet. He ends up locking all of them inside the house, with no easy escape--and when he senses that there are two more burglars inside the house, well, as I said above, the predators become the prey and the blind man hunts them throughout his own house.

 But the movie shifts dramatically when Alex and Rocky head into the blind guy's basement after remembering that there is a door in the basement they can escape out of. In an incredibly effective twist, they find a woman in the basement--all chained up and kept on a bed of cushions. It turns out that this woman killed the blind man's daughter in a vehicle accident (which is how he got all that cash--through a settlement with the woman's family). The woman was found innocent of vehicular manslaughter by the courts. So the blind guy kidnapped her (how exactly he pulled off this stunt is never explained).

I thought this twist was really good...but it quickly turned...umm, weird...when you find out later that the reason the guy kidnapped her was because, as he says, "She took my child away from me...I thought it was only fair she give me another one." o_0

Yes, it turns out that this old bastard kidnapped the woman who killed his daughter (accidentally killed!) and impregnated her with his own sperm. After Rocky and Alex attempt to rescue her, which leads to her getting shot and killed by the blind guy, the blind guy manages to capture Rocky and ends up trussing her up in a sling. This is when he explains the whole impregnation thing to Rocky, while--I shit you not--pulling a jar of his own semen out of a little refrigerator, warming it up, and using a turkey baster to attempt to impregnate her (don't worry--Alex, the friendzoned dude, bludgeons the blind guy before he can slip that ol' baster into Rocky's youthful, fertile womb).

This was where the movie lost me. I liked the twist where it turns out the blind guy is nutty kidnapper, but a nutty kidnapper who forcibly impregnates women? Is that really necessary? And seeing Rocky all tied up in a sling while blind guy cuts open her pants to shove a turkey baster into her VAGINA--is that REALLY necessary? Or is is using rape and reproductive coercion as entertainment?

Oh, and here's the kicker--as the blind guy prepares his own nut to impregnate Rocky he explains "I'm not a rapist. I never forced myself on her." HAHAHAHAHA. That's gold. Yeah, I guess because you didn't use your dick, it doesn't count as rape/sexual assault. Motherfucker, you shoved a baster filled with sperm up a girl's cooch in an attempt to force her to become pregnant against her will while she was tied up in a homemade sex swing. That's about as rapey as it gets.

Well, the movie doesn't end after Friendzone Alex saves Rocky from becoming a mother against her will. There's like, 20 minutes left of the film...the dog I mentioned earlier plays a big role (he serves as the Chekhov's gun of the movie). Blah blah blah. But I don't really care about going into all that. Really, I just wanted to write about the wack-a-doodle impregnation twist and how gross and stupid it is. Without it, Don't Breathe gets a solid B. With it, I demote the film to

Grade: B-

Yes, And

Movies: Don't Think Twice, Sleepwalk With Me

Two movies written and directed by Mike Birbiglia show how much more nuanced his work has become.

Don't Think Twice 

Don't Think Twice is an excellent little comedy, equal parts heartfelt and cringe-y. The film follows tight-knit improv group The Commune, made up of Miles (Birbiglia), Jack (Keegan-Michael Key), Sam (Gillian Jacobs), Bill (Chris Gethard), Allison (Kate Micucci), and Lindsay (Tami Sagher).

As a couple members of The Commune end up with a shot to audition for Weekend Live (a fictionalized version of Saturday Night Live, complete with an aloof Lorne Michaels type showrunner at the helm), the other members react with equal parts support and secret bitterness.

In Birbiglia's capable hands, Don't Think Twice doesn't shy away from the more unsavory aspects of the group dynamic of this particular improv group (or improv in general) as well as the consequences ambition has on a group of friends all competing for essentially the same goal. Three of the members in particular--Miles, Sam, and Jack--come off as both incredibly sympathetic and impossibly annoying. Jack and Sam are in a relationship and they take their joking ways off the improv stage and into every aspect of their lives (including the bedroom), which is both sweet and exhausting. I mean, everyone wants a romantic partner with "a sense of humor", but can two funny people who seem unable to turn it off really be together? Their love story is at the heart of Don't Think Twice, and it's fascinating to watch as their intimacy is put through the ringer when they realize they have vastly different goals.

Birbiglia gives himself a juicy role as Miles, the 36 year old improv instructor who can't contain his jealousy as he watches his own students achieve the kind of success he dreamed of but could never quite reach. He lives in a shitty apartment that he brings his much younger female students back to for the occasional sad boning. Emotionally, he's closer to their age than to women his own age--but he finds the desire to step up his game when he reacquaints with Liz, an old high school classmate who ends up back in his life.

Miles occasionally lets his raw and ugly resentment show, which makes for some really cringe-y moments, but he never completely loses hold of the audience's sympathy. I was incredibly impressed with Birbiglia's authentic, lived in performance (probably due to the fact that he DID live it, or at least a version of it). Miles is a character you want to both slap and cuddle, often during the same scene.

Likewise, Keegan-Michael Key (of Key & Peele) is excellent at playing the showboating, gotta-be-the-funniest-guy-in-the-room Jack, who actually has a shot at true fame. Not only does he give the funniest performance in the movie, he manages, like Birbiglia's Miles, to be both sympathetic and distasteful. When he interrupts Bill as he relays sad news about an injured relative to tell the group about a big break he got, the audience I was sitting in erupted with groans. What a clueless jerk! At the same time, you can't help but admire Jack's determination and pluck, even if it makes him a bit of a narcissist.

And then there's Sam (Gillian Jacobs), who realizes that maybe the only reason she shares the same goals as Jack is because that's what's expected of her, not because she actually wants to achieve those goals. As Jack's career blasts off, Sam appears to be stuck...but is she really? Or has she already achieved happiness and contentment right where she is?

Don't Think Twice poses a lot of thoughtful questions about friendship, relationships, ambitions, and talent. It really boils down to two thesis statements: 1) people want different things in life, and that's OK and 2) sometimes you DON'T achieve your dreams and goals, and it's up to you to find contentment in what you do have. Both of these truths can be hard pills to swallow, especially if you're part of a rather codependent group like The Commune (Birbiglia portrays the improv community, like most communities, as 50% loving and supportive and 50% insular and echo chamber-y). If you work, live, and hang out with the same people all the time, it can be difficult to form your own identity and goals independent of the group. It's only when one member of the group moves forward--whether "moving forward" means getting married, switching jobs, starting a business, quitting drinking, having a baby, or moving to France--that others in the group get a clearer picture of what it is THEY want.

Don't Think Twice is ultimately a hopeful, sweet film that avoids pat answers to life's problems. While we may occasionally resent and compete with our friends, at the end of the day, they have our back.

Grade: A-

***

Sleepwalk With Me

Mike Birbiglia's first foray into directing is more directly autobiographical and less refined than Don't Think Twice. It's still really good though. Birbiglia casts himself as Matt Pandamiglio, a struggling wannabe comedian with a great girlfriend, Abby (Lauren Ambrose), and a sleep disorder that causes him not only to sleepwalk, but to sleep-drive and, in a memorable scene, sleep-jump-out-of-a-window.

According to IMDB, which I totally trust, Sleepwalk With Me is about "70% true". Birbiglia does have a sleep disorder and actually did jump out a second story window once. The parts of the film that focus on his sleep issues and his sudden success on the stand-up circuit are interesting and fun. The parts about his once good, but now not that great relationship with Abby--not so much. Matt and Abby's relationship takes the cliched (though, admittedly, realistic and common) path of "We've been together a long time, thus we should get married". Just as Sam in Don't Think Twice expresses a desire to end up on Weekend Live merely because all of her friends want that, not because SHE wants it, Matt and Abby's decision to get married reflects other people's expectations and desires more than their own. If Birbiglia has a grasp on one life lesson, it's "don't do something just because other people say you should".

Sleepwalk With Me is a pleasant, if forgettable, comedy. I wish there was a little more bite to it. It's almost *too* nice. When compared to Don't Think Twice, you can see Birbiglia's increasing ability to capture the complexities and the unpleasant and upsetting aspects of life. I don't think Birbiglia will ever be my favorite stand-up comedian, but he is undoubtedly a talented director, writer, and actor--I'm looking forward to seeing whatever he comes up with next.

Grade: B

Gimme Some Strange

TV and Movies: Stranger Things, Baskin, Leap Year

People are going bonkers for Stranger Things on Netflix. Here's my review, plus reviews of two very strange films (also on Netflix).

Stranger Things

Created by Matt and Ross Duffer, the eight-episode first (hopefully not last!) season of Stranger Things is almost as perfect as a made-for-Netflix show can be. It's incredibly binge-able, taps into our collective nostalgia for the early 1980s, is creepy enough to make us sink deeper under the covers but not creepy enough to turn off the TV, and lends itself well to theories and speculation. No wonder it's been a smashing success.

Borrowing heavily (while somehow avoiding being derivative) from films and culture of the 1980s like E.T, The Goonies, and the works of Stephen King, Stranger Things is appealing not just to those who grew up in the 80s. Being a 90s kid myself (I was only 5 years old when the 1980s ended), I still saw a lot of my childhood in Stranger Things, which is set in 1983. Nostalgia and throwbacks are a la mode right now and they also help us connect emotionally to movies and shows. But unlike, say, Fuller House, the nostalgia of Stranger Things feels truly authentic and not like a cheap gimmick.

And then the characters. Oh, the characters! My personal favorite is Jim Hopper, the small town cop with a haunted past who gets sucked into the mystery surrounding the disappearance of Will Byers. While Winona Ryder's performance as Will's grief-stricken mother, Joyce Byers, gets all the glory, I personally found Hop's emotional performance, oscillating between masculine stoicism and tearful breakdowns, to be the standout of the show.

But even the smaller characters feel real. There's Mike Wheeler's oblivious dad, Ted, who says things like "Jiminy Christmas" and "hold your horses". There's Barb. Poor Barb! She didn't deserve what happened to her. Fuck Nancy--Barb should have been solving the mystery of the Upside Down alongside weirdo Jonathan Byers. There's dear Mr. Clark, the dorky teacher who encourages Mike, Will, Dustin, and Lucas in their love of all things science and nerd-related. While solid primary characters are essential to the success of a TV show, it's the secondary characters that make a show feel "lived in".

Well, I'm not even going to get into the plot. Either you've seen it already or you should watch it without knowing anything about it. If you *haven't* watched it yet, get on dat! It's less than 8 hours to get through, and trust me, you'll want to do it in one sitting.

Grade: A

***

Baskin

Speaking of strange, this bizarre Turkish horror film is certainly a head-scratcher. Following five cops who, during a night shift, receive a call for back up in a bad part of town, Baskin ("police raid" in Turkish) is part supernatural horror, part torture-porn. The cops (including a rookie and an old timer) answer the call, which leads them to an old, abandoned police station which turns out might actually be the gateway to hell. Like, literally.

 Baskin has an ominous, slow burn feeling to it. Images of bloody meat being prepared at a restaurant or dozens of frogs piling onto one another in a rainy forest portend Bad Things. But once the cops get the call and reach the abandoned station is when things get real freaky. As they explore the station using their flashlights, they see some things they (and the audience) can't unsee.

I'll avoid revealing more, but I'll say that for horror fans, Baskin offers genuine chills (I was watching a good portion of the film through my fingers), but not a lot of substance. For people with an aversion to gore, or a sensitivity to scary movies, this ain't the one for you.

Grade: C+

*** 
 
Leap Year

Not to be confused with the PG-rated romantic comedy starring Amy Adams, Leap Year is a 2011 Mexican film and the winner of several awards, including a Cannes award. And boy, is it a bleak movie.

Shot almost entirely in a dingy apartment, Leap Year follows Laura, a 25 year old freelance journalist living a life of crushing loneliness. She spends her days diligently typing up articles for business magazines and talking on the phone with her mother and brother and her nights bringing home strange men and having uninspiring sex with them.

One night she brings home Arturo, an older man and aspiring actor, and has wildly passionate sex with him. The keep seeing each other. The sex starts out with relatively mild S&M play (spanking, choking) and gets more and more intense and violent each time they see each other (while their pillow talk becomes more and more tender). But Laura is actually excited about something for once, breathlessly stripping off her dowdy pajamas when Arturo rings her doorbell in the middle of the night.

However, things get VERY dark VERY quickly, revealing the depths of Laura's loneliness and desperation.

Leap Year appears at first blush to be an erotic drama, but is ultimately a meditation on how the daily grind of life can be soul crushing. At the end of each day, Laura X-es out the date on her wall calendar, counting down the days until February 29th (we learn the significance of the date in the latter part of the movie) To Laura , the slow roll of time is itself a prison sentence. We can't blame her for searching for release in the most violent ways.

Grade: A-

Ladies' Choice

Movies: Ghostbusters

Oh, Ghostbusters reboot. If we lived in a fair world, I could easily brush you off as a mild, toothless popcorn flick just as so many male-led reboots are. But we don't live in a fair world and so I have to pay attention to you and what you represent.

Reboots, remakes, sequels, prequels and the like are a dime a dozen these days and I'd say maybe 20% are really, truly excellent (Mad Max: Fury Road; The Dark Knight), 20% are shit (Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice; the Matthew Broderick Godzilla), and the middle 60% range from "fun and forgettable" to "could be worse".

Paul Feig's Ghostbusters reboot is, in my personal opinion, a "could be worse".

I did not find the film particularly funny, aside from a few clever gags. I did not find the action particularly interesting. I did not find the plot particularly compelling. Ghostbusters gets a "C+" rating from me--a little better than average, but not remarkable.

But, as we all know, Ghostbusters isn't allowed to be just a "dumb popcorn flick". Because it's a big summer action movie starring four women in the lead roles, one of whom is a minority, and all of whom remain fully clothed and minimally sexualized (apart from Kristen Wiig's thirst for Chris Hemsworth's hot, stupid secretary and Kate McKinnon's ambiguous sexuality), Ghostbusters is holding so much more on its lady-shoulders. What it represents is much bigger and more important than the film itself.

And from my perch as a film snob, I can look at Ghostbusters and say "why bother?" If you want feminist-friendly action, watch Mad Max: Fury Road instead. If you want a hilarious film with an all-female cast, watch Bridesmaids instead. If you want movies directed by women, starring women, come to me and I can create a list for you.

But here's the thing. Ghostbusters is bigger than me. Ghostbusters is a PG-13 movie, which means that young people can watch it. Nine year old girls (and boys) aren't gonna be watching Bridesmaids and Mad Max and fuckin' If These Walls Could Talk. Nine year olds don't want to appreciate a film for its intersectional feminism...nine year olds want to watch people get slimed, act silly, and fall down. They want to buy action figures and toys--and wouldn't it be cool if, for once, those actions figures were 1) female and 2) not princesses? What happens if they see women wielding (non-violent, except to ghosts) weapons and dressed in jumpsuits? What happens if the goal for all of these women is to save New York City rather than find love? What if their relationship with one another as friends was the real love story?

So, no, I was not all that into Ghostbusters as a movie lover, but I was into it as a feminist.

As a movie lover, I can say that the jokes in Ghostbusters stuck the landing maybe 1/3 of the time. Ironically, the funniest scenes (to me) involved a man--Chris Hemsworth playing Kevin, a dumb, hunky secretary for the ghost busting gals. And each of the ladies has her memorable moments. Kristen Wiig plays uptight, intellectual Erin Gilbert, who wrote a book about ghosts with her colleague Abby Yates (Melissa McCarthy) years ago that she has tried to leave buried in the past as she works toward tenure at a respectable university. But, just like with the mafia, as soon as she thinks she's out, ghost busting pulls her back in. After investigating a haunted mansion with Abby and Abby's zany, engineering-whiz colleague, Jillian Holtzmann (Kate McKinnon), Erin once again believes in ghosts...and just in time, as New York City seems to be absolutely crawling with the suckers.

The ladies pull in Patty Tolan (Leslie Jones), an MTA worker with an encyclopedic knowledge of New York. Thus, the Ghostbusters are born.

There's a requisite baddie--Rowan North (funny character actor Neil Casey), a nerd who wants to take revenge on a world that tormented him by opening a portal to the afterlife and unleashing a slew of the undead on the Big Apple.

Comparisons to the original 1984 Ghostbusters are kind of beside the point but inevitable. The original is better, hands down. It's much, much funnier (particularly with Bill Murray at peak deadpan humor). I do wonder if the 2016 Ghostbusters would have been much funnier if it was rated R. Melissa McCarthy is especially hilarious when delivering filthy jokes and insults. An R-rated Ghostbusters would likely be closer to a vulgar Judd Apatow film but with ghosts. I would have enjoyed watching Kate McKinnon smoke a bong and Kristen Wiig have crazy gymnastic sex with all brawn and no brains Chris Hemsworth. But...but...but...think of those nine year old girls!! A toned down version of the bawdy humor that could have been (for what it's worth, there is a queef joke they managed to sneak into this one) is what lets those young ladies (and gentlemen) see four strong women kicking ghost-ass.

So, to summarize: strictly going on its merits as a film, Ghostbusters is pretty meh. At least to me--I have many friends who really loved it. But as a glass-ceiling buster, it's pretty cool. And hey, this is 2016--shouldn't four women be allowed to headline a mediocre summer popcorn flick? After all, men have been doing it for decades.

Grade: C+

Manic Pixie Dream Corpse

Movies: Swiss Army Man

Man, I don't even know where to begin with Swiss Army Man. The film, colloquially known as "that movie where Daniel Radcliffe plays a farting corpse" is so incredibly bizarre that it's hard to pin down what co-writers and co-directors Dan Kwan and Daniel Scheinert intended to say with this film.

I can tell that there is a "message" hidden under the endless montages of Paul Dano, a man stranded on an island and prepared to hang himself, using the body of Daniel Radcliffe to find his way home (more details on this below), but I'll be damned if I can figure out exactly what it is. At times, the message seems almost pathetically childish (a corpse teaches a sad sack of a man how to live!) and other times it seems weirdly beautiful (there's some interesting play with the characters' gender and sexuality that is only briefly explored before being dropped like a lead balloon).

Swiss Army Man has some very good moments, but overall it's an unfocused mess. It's like a garbage dump: hey, you might find a vintage Playboy or a cool lampshade in there, but mostly you'll find rotten banana peels and old coffee grounds.

Let's see if I can tease out the knot of this movie further.

It starts with Hank (Dano), preparing to kill himself after being stranded on an island for months. But the sight of a body (Radcliffe) washed up on shore stops him. He rushes to the body, hoping the man is alive. Sadly, he is not. But before Hank goes back to his noose, he realizes that the flatulence emitted by the corpse is actually propelling the body into the ocean. Hank seizes on an idea--he gets on the body's back and rides the farting corpse to dry land. So, basically magical realism meets fart humor.

But the journey doesn't end there. Hank ends up on the coast somewhere, but facing a labyrinth of of woodlands without a person or car in sight. He should leave the body behind and make his way back to civilization, but he can't seem to do so. He's bonded with the man who "saved his life". And he bonds even further when this man, named Manny, actually begins speaking to him.

Hank discovers that Manny's body has many uses. His lungs fill with water after a rainstorm, letting Hank drink from Manny like a fountain. The discovery of an old Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition with titillating images leads Hank to discover that Manny's erection always points north (I am not even fucking kidding. How is this a movie? I actually am impressed with the sheer balls on this film). Thus, we have a title: like a Swiss Army knife, Hank uses Manny for survival purposes while also tutoring Manny in how to be a person again. Conversations about love, life, masturbation, and farting ensue. The message at this point seems to be 1) bodies and all of their functions are beautiful and natural and 2) we shouldn't hide things (like farts) or be ashamed of things (like masturbation) that make us happy.

I'm sorry, but no. I love movies that celebrate what it means to be human, but this movie is so sophomoric.

Despite the crude and unrefined message, Swiss Army Man has some lovely moments. When Manny sees a photo on Hank's phone of a beautiful woman, he becomes convinced that he knows this woman and she is meant to be his true love. He asks Hank to dress up as her and recreate how they might have met in order to spark Manny's memory (none of this makes sense, btw). The two men embark on elaborate sessions of dress up in order to teach Manny what it meant to be human and alive. Now, they could have just kept walking north until they found a road or something, but that's apparently not the point of the movie. So we have the above mentioned montages of Dano and Radcliffe engaging in world-building using the junk available in the woods. They use sticks and branches to create a bus and Hank dresses as the girl in the picture and encourages Manny to talk to "her" (Hank is obviously working through his own issues of shyness since, after all, the picture of the girl was on *his* phone and the woman in question is a girl *he* saw on the bus and was too scared to talk to). And this gender play leads to some interesting potential where you're like, are Hank and Manny gonna...hook up? Boy, I don't know how the fuck I feel about gay necrophilia, but at least it was interesting.

As you can probably tell, the purpose of all this is unclear and it's hard to tell where it's all going. And then the end of the film really just throws the whole thing to shit, in my opinion. Everything the movie seems to believe in ("don't be scared to be open with people", "be your authentic self", "you are loved more than you know") goes flying out the window during the final act of the movie which was, again, in my opinion, incredibly embarrassing and disheartening. All of the baggage the movie brings up--the girl in the photo and Hank and Manny's "love" for her, Hank's relationship with his father, Manny's worth and humanity, are all just flushed down the fucking toilet in the final scenes with no resolution. When the lights came up in the theatre, I was embarrassed for myself, the movie, and the audience. What had we just watched? What was the point? Was it a practical joke?

I titled this review "Manic Pixie Dream Corpse" because Swiss Army Man has a lot of similarities to movies where a whimsical woman (the trope of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl) teaches a sad sack man how to live. It also inhabits the same kind of universe as films like Little Miss Sunshine, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and Garden State: films known for whimsy, magical realism, and simplistic morals and lessons. The problem is, it represents the worst of these types of movies. It could get away with being so bizarre if it were more subtle, or if it had a clearer focus. It wouldn't commit to being a straightforward comedy, a la Weekend at Bernie's or a straightforward fantasy film. But it wasn't a wonderful, intriguing mix of genres: it was a mess.

That said, the movie has to be seen to be believed, so I don't regret watching it per se. I just feel like the directors took the kernel of an interesting idea and completely blew it.

Grade: C-