Kinds of Kindness

Yorgos Lanthimos is one of the most interesting directors working today. His films take place in a reality adjacent to our own, with elements of magical realism that are just taken for granted. For example, one of my favorite Lanthimos films, The Lobster, takes place in a world in which being single is illegal, so divorcees and widows are sent to a hotel where they have 45 days to find a mate, or they are transformed into an animal of their choosing. The title refers to the main character's preferred animal, if he fails to find a mate. How is this process done? It's never explained or shown. Why is it illegal to be single? It's never explained. And this is what makes Lanthimos's films so unique--he creates realities that are absurd and he doesn't hand-hold the viewer. 

This is also what makes the director so "icky" to a lot of viewers. His films are often mean-spirited and grotesque. Last year, his movie Poor Things was released and I found it to be the most positive and humane of his films. Notably, he was adapting a novel. When Lanthimos writes his own films, they are much meaner and crueler.

His latest, Kinds of Kindness, has that signature Lanthimos cruelty, coldness, and pitch-black sense of humor. The film is an anthology. Clocking in at a hefty 285 minutes, Kinds of Kindness is actually three shorter films, all with the same cast (playing different characters in each short film). The themes that run throughout each of the short films include power and control, abusive relationships, and the fear of being abandoned.

The first of the three is titled "The Death of R.M.F.". In it, Jesse Plemmons plays Robert, a man who lives a comfortable lifestyle which is fully financed and controlled by a man named Raymond (Willem Dafoe). Raymond tells Robert when to wake up, what to wear, what to eat at each meal, whether or not Robert can fuck his own wife (a wife hand-picked for him by Raymond), and which books to read (Anna Karenina). In exchange, Robert lives in a gorgeous house and wants for nothing. Is this a BDSM relationship? Well...it's too weird for that. But it's definitely a relationship. When Raymond eventually asks Robert to do something that he cannot agree to, the relationship falls apart and Robert is left to his own devices after years of having his every action guided by this god-like figure.

In the second film, titled "R.M.F. Goes Flying", Plemmons plays Daniel, a man whose wife goes missing at sea. When his wife (played by Emma Stone) is rescued, Daniel becomes convinced that she is an imposter and that his real wife is still out there, somewhere.

Finally, in the last film, "R.M.F. Eats a Sandwich", Emma Stone is the main character. She plays Emily, a woman who is part of a cult (led by Willem Dafoe) that is obsessed with purity of fluids and also with finding a woman who can bring the dead back to life. Emily and Andrew (Jesse Plemmons) are sent on a mission by the cult to find this woman. 

Kinds of Kindness has been described as "off-putting" and "alienating". Grotesque and shocking things occur in each segment. But as I like grotesque and shocking things, the movie was extremely up my alley. It reminded me of a book of short stories titled You Know You Want This by Kristen Roupenian (who gained fame with her short story "Cat Person", featured in The New Yorker). Those short stories are all about power, control, violence, dominance, and submission.  Likewise, Kinds of Kindness has a dark, kinky feeling about it--but not in a sexy way at all. More like in a "how does a person end up in this situation??" way. It's also a really funny movie. I laughed quite a bit throughout.

The acting is great, particularly Jesse Plemmons who is a pleasure to watch in every movie he's in. He reminds me quite a bit of the late, great Philip Seymour Hoffman, both in looks (strawberry blonde hair and heavier frame), but also in his ability to steal any movie he's in, even if just for 5 minutes. Another standout is Margaret Qualley, who also wows in everything I've seen her in and is no stranger to fucked-up, kinky movies. The main cast also includes Dafoe, Stone, Hong Chau, Mamoudou Athie, and Joe Alwyn. All of them bring their A-game to each of their parts in each short film, no matter how big or small those parts are.

I recommend Kinds of Kindness to folks who like dark, fucked-up, bizarre movies. Be warned that if you have a trigger, it's probably represented in here somewhere (I'll make a special mention that there is a scene of sexual assault in the third short film). If you like bizarre movies but this one sounds like a bit much, I recommend checking out Poor Things which is as strange and dreamlike as Lanthimos's other films, but with a much more positive and hopeful message. 

Grade: A-

Stuff I watched in...June, 2024

Hit Man

Richard Linklater's latest film is a frothy delight and is (mostly) based on a true story. Leading man Glen Powell plays Gary Johnson, a mild-mannered philosophy professor who teaches at the University of New Orleans by day and does some tech work for the New Orleans Police Department in his spare time. When undercover cop Jasper (a wonderfully slimy Austin Amelio) gets put on probation, Gary is offered the opportunity to portray a hit man as part of a sting operation. He does surprisingly well and becomes the NOPD's go-to undercover guy while Jasper is out.

Hit Man takes that stereotype of "nerdy girl who transforms into a beauty queen when you remove her glasses" and applies it to handsome Glen Powell. Powell genuinely seems like a nerdy, plain man in his college professor clothes and dorky haircut, but he transforms into a believably macho (and sexy) hit man when given a leather jacket and a different hairstyle. And when he dresses the part, he also acts the part: confident, mysterious, with a hint of danger. 

While playing the role of "Ron", a killer for hire, Gary meets Madison (Adria Arjona), an abused and scared woman looking for someone to take out her violent asshole of a husband. Feeling empathy for Madison (and not wanting to get her arrested), Gary (as "Ron") refuses her money and tells her to use it to leave his husband instead. The NOPD is pissed at him, but Gary feels that Madison is an exception to the typical lowlifes who want to hire him. 

Later on, Gary runs into Madison (who has left her husband) and the two begin a very sexy romance...the only problem is that Madison only knows Gary as Ron and he's afraid that if he reveals the truth, she'll leave him. So he keeps up the charade and also keeps Madison at a distance, explaining that she can't know about his dangerous life as a hit man. You can probably guess that hijinks ensue.

Hit Man is based on a long-form journalism article written by Skip Hollandsworth for Texas Monthly. This is the second time Linklater has brought a Skip Hollandsworth article to the silver screen: his film Bernie, starring Jack Black, is also based on an unbelievable true story. While not quite as intriguing as Bernie (one of my favorite movies), Hit Man has a similar vibe. It's a very positive story despite some dark content. As I said above, it's "frothy". It's a mix of neo-noir and romantic comedy and the chemistry between Powell and Arjona is palpable. Hit Man, which is streaming on Netflix, is well worth the watch.

Grade: B+

***

Fallout (TV series)

I watched Fallout without having played the video games the show is based on, but I was still able to follow the plot pretty easily. It was good, though not as good as The Last of Us, the *other* post-apocalyptic show based on a video game. And I know that the two shows are very different, but one can't help but compare. Fallout is funny and I love the retrofuturism of it all. I'm not going to go into the plot because, well, it's a lot. I'll say that my biggest gripe is that pacing felt a little off and a TON of stuff happened in the last 30 minutes of the final episode (setting it up for another season, which is fine, but it came off as rushed). 

The acting is all-around great. Ella Purnell, best known for her role as Jackie in Yellowjackets, is wonderful as the naive, yet brave and good-hearted Lucy, who leaves the safety of the underground bunker in which she grew up to save her dad, Hank (Kyle MacLachlan, perfect in this role), after he is kidnapped by raiders. Ella teams up with Maximus (Aaron Moten, a talented up-and-coming actor), a squire of the Brotherhood of Steel, to deliver an important piece of technology to the woman who kidnapped her dad. Walton Goggins rounds out the main cast as The Ghoul...and he is just his most Goggins-y self as a...well, part-cowboy, part-zombie. 

I probably didn't appreciate Fallout as much as the folks who have played the games, but I enjoyed it. It was entertaining with a delightful cast of characters and some really fun worldbuilding. 

Grade: B+

***

The First Omen

I was really surprised at how much I enjoyed Arkasha Stevenson's horror prequel The First Omen. Cinema is currently saturated with sequels, prequels, and reboots of horror franchises, many of them downright awful. I had no plans to see this movie until I started hearing some good things about it and found it streaming on Hulu.

Starring Nell Tiger Free (best known for her role as Leanne in the TV series Servant) as Margaret, a novitiate nun soon to take her vows in Italy in 1971, The First Omen reveals how Damien from The Omen came to be. And it is a wild story. I won't go into plot spoilers, but Margaret, with the help of priest Father Brennan (Ralph Ineson, perfect in this role), discovers a conspiracy in the Catholic Church. They rush to uncover the truth before it is too late.

The First Omen is genuinely good and scary. I mean, it's not going to win any awards, but I was captivated by the story and really creeped out during a few particularly unnerving scenes. Nell Tiger Free is a true "scream queen"--quite literally in one scene where she absolutely lets those primal screams rip, a la Isabelle Adjani in Possession. The acting really elevates what could have been a trashy religious horror film. Well, The First Omen is still a bit trashy, but in a fun way. One can't help compare it to Immaculate, the *other* Catholic pregnancy horror film of 2024, and while both movies are fun, I think The First Omen squeaks out as the better film.

Grade: B+

***

Infested

This French horror film, about venomous spiders that take over an apartment building, is not for those with arachnophobia. I really don't like spiders and I was cringing, flinching, and scratching at my skin the whole movie. 

Theo Christine stars as Kaleb, a guy who buys high end sneakers and other merchandise on the black market and resells it. He also likes exotic insects. He buys a spider from his merchandise guy and, of course, it escapes in his shitty apartment building, lays eggs, and absolute chaos ensues.

Director Sebastien Vanicek wanted to make a statement about how certain people (people of color, those who live in poverty) are considered "vermin" in France. In Infested, the residents of the apartment building are literally trapped inside by the cops and left to die so as to avoid infecting anyone else. Kaleb, his sister, and their friends must find a way to escape before the rapidly reproducing spiders (who also grow frighteningly huge) overtake the building completely.

Infested isn't that great of a movie, but it's pretty effective at giving you the heebie jeebies. With action sequences where people have to walk through a dark hallway covered in cobwebs and filled with spiders, anyone who has even a hint of spider-phobia is going to be uncomfortable. Watch at your own risk!

Grade: B

***

Shadow of the Vampire

Directed by E. Elias Merhige (same guy who directed the arthouse film Begotten, for all you horror film nerds), Shadow of the Vampire blends reality with fiction. It's about the filming of the 1922 silent film Nosferatu. John Malkovich plays eccentric and exacting director F.W. Murnau, who hires the mysterious Max Shreck (Willem Dafoe) to play the role of Count Orlock (the "Nosferatu" character). Murnau explains that Shreck will only appear in makeup and they will work around his schedule, mostly doing night shoots. The rest of the cast and crew are annoyed, but comply. And then weird things start happening on set.

Shadow of the Vampire asks: what if the guy who played "Nosferatu" actually was a vampire?! I love this whole concept and this movie is FUN. Malkovich and Dafoe are known for playing eccentrics and seeing them go toe-to-toe here is wild. If you like vampire movies, especially the non-sparkly type of vampires, check out this under seen and under appreciated gem of a film. 

Grade: B+

***

Remembering Gene Wilder

This documentary about the life of Gene Wilder is fine, but if you've already read his autobiography, Kiss Me Like a Stranger, there is not much new information here. In fact, the narration for the film is Gene Wilder reading his autobiography. There are interviews with Mel Brooks, Richard Pryor's daughter, Rain, and Wilder's widow, Karen Boyer, which provide fun anecdotes about the actor and his most famous roles. 

If you like Gene Wilder and haven't read his autobiography, this doc is worth checking out. Otherwise, skip it and watch something like the next movie on my list...

Grade: B-

***

Young Frankenstein

So, I got on a Gene Wilder kick a few months ago when I watched Blazing Saddles for the first time and since then I've read his autobiography and rewatched some of his most famous films, including Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and The Producers. It's been a really, really long time since I first watched Young Frankenstein, which Wilder co-wrote with Mel Brooks. It's hard to find the movie online but lo and behold the library I work at has a DVD copy!

I mean, what can you say? Young Frankenstein is a classic. It's one of my dad's favorite movies (it's probably one of YOUR dad's favorite movies too!) and he would often quote (and act out) the "walk this way" scene. It's hilarious, but it's also surprisingly sweet. It's a rare film that can have a genuinely touching moment where Dr. Frankenstein holds his creation and tells him that he is a beautiful child of God and just needs love and understanding...and also end the film on a dick joke. 

The supporting cast is excellent: Marty Feldman as Igor, Teri Garr as Inga, Madeline Kahn as Elizabeth, Cloris Leachman as Frau Blucher (*horse whinny*), and Peter Boyle as the Monster. Hell, even Gene Hackman has a cameo. The whole cast just comes together in a beautiful way and makes for an unforgettable comedy. If you haven't seen this comedic masterpiece, get on it!

Grade: A-

***

Legends of the Fall

Directed by Ed Zwick, Legends of the Fall was my motherfucking jam when I was 12 years old. The film follows the three Ludlow brothers--youngest Samuel (Henry Thomas), middle Tristan (Brad Pitt) and eldest Alfred (Aiden Quinn)--and their virulently anti-government father, Col. William Ludlow (Anthony Hopkins) from the early years of the 20th century through the 1920s. 

The three brothers all fall in love with one woman, Susannah Fincannon (Julia Ormond). Henry brings Susannah home as his fiancee, but Tristan and Alfred also have an immediate attraction to her. When all three brothers enlist in the Canadian Expeditionary Force to fight in WWI, their father (a Colonel himself) is pissed. Samuel and Alfred enlist because their personal values insist upon it, but Tristan joins to protect Samuel.

While Brad Pitt as wild-child Tristan is the main character of this film, I was in love with Henry Thomas when I saw this movie as a pre-teen. Samuel is described as "the best of us" in the movie, and it's true. All of the other characters are, to greater or lesser extents, pretty horrible. Legends of the Fall is the film version of an old school romance novel: it has a muscular, rebellious, long-haired hero, hella toxic masculinity (as well as questionable portrayals of Native Americans), melodrama out the wazoo, and a tragic love story at the center. It's gorgeously filmed and the soundtrack is almost overwhelming at times. It's exactly the type of movie to be popular and win awards in the mid-1990s. 

Overall, I gotta say I love it. I recognize that my nostalgia for the film plays a role in how I feel about it today, but damn if it doesn't leave an impression. If you're in the mood for a beautiful melodrama starring beautiful men, you could do worse than Legends of the Fall. 

Grade: B+

Spader Fetish

James Spader is such an interesting actor. By no means have I done a deep dive into his filmography, but it's generally known that he is attracted to dark and/or sexual roles. And, you know, Boston Legal. He's a weird guy and that's why we love him. I recently had the opportunity to watch a sexy Spader movie I hadn't seen before (Sex, Lies, and Videotape), and a..."sexy" (????) Spader movie I have seen before and wiped from my memory (David Cronenberg's Crash), so I thought I would review the two films and round them out with one of my all-time faves, which is also a sexy Spader movie, Secretary.

***

Sex, Lies, and Videotape

Directed by Steven Soderbergh, Sex, Lies, and Videotape is a film that dips its toe in the waters of sexual liberation but ultimately pulls back and reinforces the value of "normalcy".

The film follows four people: married couple Ann Mullany (Andie MacDowell) and John Mullany (Peter Gallagher...oddly enough looking a lot like comedian John Mulaney and basically sharing the same name), Ann's sister Cynthia (Laura San Giacomo), and John's old friend from college, Graham (Spader).

Ann confesses to her therapist that she doesn't really like sex and thinks that masturbation is "a dumb thing to do". In 2024, we'd probably call her asexual, demisexual, or gray ace. But in 1989, when the movie was made, she just comes off as a prudish wife. John is sleeping with Ann's sister, Cynthia, who is just a terrible person. John is also a terrible person (total finance bro type). His college friend Graham comes back into town and when John finds out that Graham is weirder and quieter than he used to be, John basically writes him off. However, Ann takes a liking to Graham. She inadvertently finds out Graham's unusual hobby: he films women talking about sex. He interviews them and lets them talk for as long as they like about anything they want related to their sex lives. Sometimes they do more than talk, only not with Graham, who is impotent.

Ann is is freaked out and disgusted by Graham's voyeuristic proclivities. But she eventually comes back around to liking him when she discovers her sister and husband's betrayal. She even asks to be interviewed, and ends up turning the camera on Graham.

Sex, Lies, and Videotape is very character-driven movie and even though I didn't particularly like any of the characters, I found myself drawn in. The acting is very strong, especially MacDowell, who, despite her judgmental attitudes about sex, is a compelling and sympathetic protagonist. 

The film approaches voyeurism with ambivalence. On the one hand, Graham's hobby, which really is the way he experiences his own sexuality, is treated as a deviancy and a personal defect. At the same time, the scene where Graham interviews Cynthia is easily the sexiest scene in the movie. In fact, the very idea of a man asking *me* questions about my sexuality and then listening is mind-blowingly hot. But also, I'm a big talker. 

As I say above, Soderbergh plays with the idea that sexual "deviancy" can actually be normal and even healthy for some people while stopping short of celebrating and affirming unique expressions of (consensual, adult) sexuality. But for the time period, I can see why this movie was considered cutting edge. 

Grade: B+

***

Crash (1996)

Not to be confused with Paul Haggis' extremely stupid 2004 movie, David Cronenberg's 1996 film Crash, based on the novel by J.G. Ballard, is truly transgressive. In short, the film is about car crash fetishists. People who get sexually aroused by being in and by watching car crashes. 

Crash is one of the most sexually explicit non-pornographic films I've ever seen (undoubtedly, it is considered porn by some, but not by me). This100 minute movie contains 8 or 9 full-on sex scenes. There are scenes with women and men, two men, and two women. Can I say it any more clearly? This movie has a lot, and I mean A LOT of fucking in it. Yet...my god, is this movie not erotic at all. 

Well, maybe it's erotic if you're into car accidents. Or wounds created by car accidents. But it's not just the whole car crash fetish aspect that makes the film un-erotic, it's the robotic affect of many of the film's characters. The main couple, James (Spader) and his wife Catherine (Deborah Kara Unger), have an open marriage where they frequently have sex with other people and then share their experiences with one another...but they seem to achieve no satisfaction or joy from these encounters. They seem frigid. Even dead inside.

After James gets into a near-fatal car accident, he gets pulled into the world of car crash re-enactors and fetishists, led by Robert Vaughn (Elias Koteas, the best thing about this movie). Vaughn and his crew re-enact famous car crashes, such as the one that killed James Dean. Vaughn brings danger and passion into James and Catherine's lives, but also the very real possibility of dismemberment and death. I LOVED Elias Koteas in this role. In a movie positively dripping with sex, Vaughn is one of maybe two characters (the other being Rosanna Arquette as Gabrielle, another car crash fanatic) who actually seems horny. Vaughn is also a violent, unstable nutcase, but I guess you take the good with the bad.

So, what does this film mean?? Well, it's a Cronenberg film and much of his oeuvre deals with the intersections of man and machine and how technology affects humanity. Or maybe it's about America's love affair with cars? I don't know man, but I have to give Crash a rating in the "A" range because even though it's a deeply unpleasant and off-putting movie, it is really, really transgressive and just swings for the fences in a way so few movies have the balls to do. There is something really admirable about that. 

Grade: A-

***

Secretary

You gotta be living under a rock if you haven't heard about Secretary. Directed by Steven Shainberg, Secretary is about a meek woman, Lee (Maggie Gyllenhaal) who is released from a stay at a mental hospital for self-harm. Seeking work, she finds an ad for a secretarial position to lawyer E. Edward Grey (Spader). Mr. Grey is an odd, exacting boss who chastises Lee for small mistakes. But Lee rises to the occasion and becomes a very, very good secretary. 

The two weirdos fall into a Dominant/submissive relationship that they keep at work. It involves Lee being spanked for typos, crawling on the floor to deliver letters to Mr. Grey, and being put in bondage. Lee absolutely flourishes as a woman and as a human being in these conditions. Her sexuality is awakened. Her need to self-harm evaporates (more on this below). She is happy, beautiful, and glowing under the care and discipline of Mr. Grey. 

Lee realizes that she wants more from Mr. Grey. She wants them to do their thing 24/7 and, you know, be together as a couple. Grey pulls away. It turns out that he is very ashamed of his desires. There's a scene where Lee listens to an audiobook titled "Coming Out as Dominant/submissive" while at the same time Grey is writing her letter that starts with "I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm like this." I love this scene because it demonstrates that the roles people play in BDSM don't really say much about who they are as people outside those roles. In other words, sexually submissive Lee has the confidence and curiosity to learn about and embrace her desires while dominant Mr. Grey is beating up on himself (pun fully intended) and is too scared to be his authentic sexual self. So it is up to Lee to prove her worthiness to Mr. Grey and also to prove that they are worthy and deserving of the kind of love that feels right to them.

Secretary is a feminist film with a strong, smart, courageous heroine who isn't perfect and has a lot of growing to do, but learns to stand up for herself and for her man. All while getting spanked over a desk. Secretary is also one of the few movies about BDSM that seems to actually "get" that BDSM is a lot more complex than whips, chains, and leather. To be clear, people live and express BDSM in a million different ways, not just in the way that Lee and Grey do, but Secretary gets that this way of expressing love, power, and sexuality is generally pretty integral to people who are wired for it and that you can't just "be normal" if you're built different. And also that BDSM is not something to be ashamed of. Unlike Sex, Lies, and Videotape, Secretary *affirms* so-called "deviant" sexuality, it doesn't just gawk at it.

That said, the film still has its flaws, the biggest of which is that Lee stops self-harming because Grey tells her she doesn't need to anymore. That's not the way that works. BDSM is not therapy, though it can be therapeutic. And mental illness doesn't go away because a Dom tells you that you're better. However, I'm inclined to let that issue slide because Secretary presents a fantasy. After all, Grey positions Lee over a desk one day and spanks her...and she likes it. In real life: don't do this. It's a romance. Much like Bridgerton, it ain't real life. In addition to being a fantasy, Secretary is also a comedy and the humor is pretty dark and wry at times. This is a special movie and not everyone is going to be on its wavelength. But those who get it and like it really like it, and I'm one of them. 

 

Grade: A+

Furiosa

Mad Max: Fury Road was one of the best surprises I've experienced at the movies. Having never watched the original trilogy (given my disdain for Mel Gibson, I probably never will) and also not really being into action movies, I had no plans to see Fury Road. But then the reviews started rolling in saying that it was an eye-popping spectacle and one of the best movies of the year. I saw it with some friends and was blown away by the film. Visually, it's stunning. The action sequences are entertaining and wild. The world-building, right down to the slang the characters use ("I shall ride eternal shiny and chrome!"), is fascinating. Overall, I had an intensely positive experience seeing Mad Max: Fury Road and it was one of my favorite movies of 2015.

When discussing the sequel/prequel, Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga, which tells us the origin story of Imperator Furiosa, played by Charlize Theron in Fury Road, people want to compare the two movies and, from what I've read and heard, Furiosa seems to always come up short. In other words, people *like* Furiosa, but they *love* Fury Road. 

I understand that...and I don't. To me, Furiosa is just more of a wonderful thing.

Furiosa is longer than Fury Road by a full 30 minutes and while there are some parts that could have been slimmed down, that extra time is mostly spent developing the characters and fleshing out Furiosa's story. The movie is divided into 5 chapters and the first focuses on Furiosa's childhood in the matriarchal Green Place: an oasis of vegetation in the Wasteland. When raiders discover the Green Place, they kidnap Furiosa (who is around 8 or 9 when this happens, played by excellent child actor Alyla Browne) and bring her to Dementus (Chris Hemsworth, the true MVP of the film), the cult-like leader of the Biker Horde.

After a failed attempt to overthrow the Citadel, Dementus ends up trading Furiosa to Immortan Joe, who sees her as a potential future wife. But young Furiosa cuts her hair short and pretends to be a boy, working on war rigs with other men. She finds a mentor in Praetorian Jack (Tom Burke), who teaches her how to drive war rigs. At this point in the movie, Furiosa is played by Anya Taylor-Joy. Taylor-Joy is very good in this role, though I admit I wasn't completely blown away by her. As mentioned above, the actor who impressed me the most was Hemsworth as the charismatic Dementus. 

Throughout her years of work and training at the Citadel, Furiosa never forgets Dementus and never forgives him for kidnapping her from the Green Place and murdering her mother. By the end of the film, she has a chance to confront Dementus about these crimes. The exact way she gets her revenge is *chef's kiss*. I won't spoil what happens, but gasped when it was revealed. 

Furiosa is a highly enjoyable movie. I think when Fury Road came out, there was an element of surprise. I know that I had never seen a movie quite like it and it left a huge impression on me. With Furiosa, I knew what I was getting. I think this may be one reason why the general consensus is that Furiosa is not quite as good or impressive as Fury Road: simply, the element of surprise is gone. However, in some ways I think Furiosa is the superior film. The characters are more fleshed out and three-dimensional. The main villain is more interesting and complex. The movie is more emotional. 

All this is to say, I love both movies and if you liked Fury Road there's a good chance you'll enjoy Furiosa as well. 

Grade: A-

Stuff I watched in...May, 2024

The Birdcage

Somehow I made it to ripe old age of 38 without seeing this genius film in its entirety. Sure, I saw the "Fosse Fosse Fosse!" scene and the "men smear" scene...but for whatever reason I hadn't sat my ass down and just watched the entire movie. And boy am I glad I finally did. Directed by Mike Nichols and starring the late, great Robin Williams as well as Nathan Lane, Hank Azaria, Gene Hackman, Dianne Wiest, and Calista Flockhart, The Birdcage is unbelievably funny. I haven't laughed this loud at a movie in a long time. 

The movie is a bunch of gay jokes, including numerous uses of the f-slur, but the gays are in on the joke. Which means that I feel comfortable laughing when Hank Azaria's flamboyant Agador bristles at the idea of wearing a butler's uniform, saying, "No! I'm gonna look like a fag!" (I had to pause the movie because I was laughing so hard at that line). I can't even comprehend how hilarious this movie is. Everyone is bringing their A-game. 

In case you also live under a rock, The Birdcage (based on the 1973 play La Cage aux Folles) is about a gay couple (Williams and Lane) whose son is getting engaged to a woman with conservative parents. So when the parents come to visit, they have to play straight. Or rather, Williams plays straight and Lane dresses in drag, pretending to be the wife. Much hilarity ensues. 

At the center of the movie is a message about accepting the people you love just as they are and how life is more vibrant and joyful when people are allowed to be themselves. It's interesting to me that for a film that features quite a few objectively awful people (Hackman's conservative Senator Keeley, Christine Baranski playing Val's absent mother, and Dan Futterman playing Val, the son who is getting married and selfishly pushes for his dad(s) to pretend to be straight) the movie doesn't dwell on any negative emotions. The result is a pro-social film that encourages acceptance without feeling preachy or "politically correct". Given all the horror and intense dramas I tend to be attracted to, a movie as funny, colorful, and joyful as The Birdcage is a breath of fresh air.

Grade: A+

***

Everybody Wants Some!!

If you love the movie Dazed and Confused and wish there was a sequel, Everybody Wants Some!! is about as close as you're going to get. This 2016 film is directed by Richard Linklater (who also directed Dazed and Confused) and follows the members of a college baseball team during the weekend before classes begin in August of 1980. Freshmen pitcher Jake Bradford (Blake Jenner) shows up at one of the designated off-campus "baseball houses" where the team will live together and is immediately thrown into the frat boy-esque chaos of a bunch of horny, beer-swilling, competitive guys living together. 

Over the course of the weekend, the fellas bond over parties, beer, "college pussy", games (ranging from pinball to ping-pong), massive bong rips, and, of course, baseball. A few of the older guys give Bradford and the fellow freshmen shit, but a couple others take them under their wings and give them advice about how to "piss with the big-dick dogs". It's honestly a really sweet movie, despite absolutely dripping with testosterone. Just as with Dazed and Confused, Linklater captures the poetic philosophy hiding underneath the hormonal hijinks of a bunch of young people. Few directors understand the contradictions of youth so well. Young people are immature, impulsive, petty, and shallow--sure. But they're also brutally honest, insightful, and can be very friendly when they want to be. Linklater captures all of it and delivers a really fun and often deeper than expected film.

Also starring Glen Powell as charming ladies man Finn, Tyler Hoechlin as the alpha male star hitter McReynolds, and Zoey Deutch as theatre nerd and potential love interest Beverly, Everybody Wants Some!! is a delightful comedy that is both horny and heartfelt. 

Grade: A-

***

Anyone But You

So after seeing Glen Powell in Everybody Wants Some!!, I became intrigued by (i.e. crushing on) the up-and-coming movie star. He recently starred opposite Sydney Sweeney in this romantic comedy, based loosely on the Shakespeare comedy Much Ado About Nothing. Even though I famously hate romantic comedies, I figured I'd give it a watch.

It was...ok. Powell is really good in it because he radiates a mixture of charm, smarm, and overall good-guy decency. I can see why he is climbing the ranks of Hollywood right now. He's a classic Hollywood leading man. Sweeney isn't bad--she holds her own against Powell and the two have really excellent chemistry. The initial meet-cute between Ben and Bea and their first conflict is actually pretty believable: she runs into a coffee shop asking to use the bathroom and they refuse to give her the bathroom key until she buys something...but the checkout line is 20 people deep. Ben sees her distress and asks for a peppermint tea for "my wife" indicating Bea, allowing her to grab the key and run to the bathroom. 

Bea and Ben have immediate chemistry and spend the day hanging out together and fall asleep together while talking. But Bea makes the strange decision to leave before Ben wakes up. Upon waking, Ben is distressed and feels used. When his friend Pete shows up, he tells him he couldn't wait to get Bea to leave--that she's "a disaster" and "she's nothing"....little does he know that Bea realized the mistake she made, returned to say goodbye, and overheard everything. 

Months later, the two meet again when Bea's sister Halle begins dating friend Pete's sister Claudia. And then a year or so after that, Bea and Ben find themselves on a plane to Australia to participate in Claudia and Halle's wedding. After their pushy parents and friends keep trying to interfere, Bea and Ben begrudgingly decide to pretend to be a couple to shut everyone up and keep the brides-to-be happy and calm.

Anyone But You is contrived, ridiculous, not funny (or only funny in a "sensible chuckle" sort of way), and everyone's problems could be solved with a single, honest conversation...in other words, it's a typical romantic comedy! The film is held aloft on the strength of the chemistry of its leads. The rest of the cast is mediocre at best and the worst thing about the movie is its goddamn RELENTLESS soundtrack. Basically every scene in the movie is paired with a not-good pop song, which is distracting and irritating. 

Fans of romcoms will likely enjoy Anyone But You. Hell, I didn't hate it. If it had better music and funnier jokes, I probably would have really liked it. 

Grade: B-

***

The Feeling That the Time for Doing Something Has Passed

For a movie with such a long title, Joanna Arnow's The Feeling That the Time for Doing Something Has Passed is a wisp of a film. The movie is so low-key that it barely even exists. And, strangely enough, I saw it by myself in a completely empty movie theatre (though I've gotten close, I've never managed to be the only person in a movie theatre for the entirety of a movie until this one). It felt oddly appropriate.

The movie follows Ann (played by Arnow), an unremarkable thirty-something woman who lives a very mundane life. She works a corporate job, has dinner with her aging parents, and has a very low-commitment, low-energy Dom/sub relationship with an older guy named Allen. She also dates a few other guys and eventually meets Chris, with whom she has a genuine connection. 

Each individual scene in this movie is about the length of a Mitch Hedberg joke. I don't think a single scene lasted more than 3 minutes and most were about 30 seconds long. It's like a series of one-liners. The movie is, frankly, very boring. There is no plot, little to no character development, no climax to the film. There are a few scenes that are more satisfying that others: for example, a scene where Ann's dad sings a pro-union song while her mom bangs on a pot and Ann leaves the room in annoyance. I liked that scene because it was genuinely funny and goofy. There's also a scene where Ann coaches Chris on how to dominate her and treat her like a sex object (which is what she likes). That scene had a real sweetness to it. But these moments are few and far between. 

Sex and BDSM play a significant role in the film and I appreciated the depiction of "deviant" sexuality as boring and silly. Not because I believe BDSM actually is boring and silly, but because it demystifies the whole thing and shows people who like a little power exchange in their romantic lives and sex lives to be the same old regular people as anyone else. There's a power in taking something taboo and making it mundane. 

I didn't hate this movie, but I can't recommend it. People who are into low-key "hangout" type films might dig it, but the majority of viewers will find it to be a snoozefest.

Grade: C+ 

***

The Coffee Table

This Spanish film, which came out a couple years ago, is making its rounds on TikTok as the disturbing movie du jour, so of course I had to check it out. All I knew was that it was about a couple that buys a coffee table and it ruins their lives. And if you want to check it out, you should probably go in knowing as little as possible--that's if you enjoy upsetting movies that make you feel upsetting things. If you don't like upsetting movies, then The Coffee Table certainly isn't the one to start with. And if you suspect you might be triggered by this one...eh, just stay away. That's my fair warning. 

**slight spoilers ahead**

The thing is, the couple that buys the table have a newborn baby. The salesperson keeps emphasizing the "unbreakable glass" of the table. I mean you pretty much know EXACTLY what's going to happen before it happens. I will say that the scene in which the obvious thing happens is deeply, deeply tense in a palpable way. I was holding my breath waiting for the thing I knew was going to happen to happen. Then it did. And the rest of the movie is the fallout from that event. 

The Coffee Table doesn't pull any punches. It's a mean movie with a fucked up sense of humor. I didn't love it, but it definitely made me feel things and left an impression. Probably one I'm never going to watch again. 

Grade: B

***

Bull Durham

After seeing Challengers, I was in the mood for another sexually-charged sports movie with a love triangle. Well, Bull Durham is good but it's no Challengers. Annie Savoy (Susan Sarandon) is a "baseball groupie" who picks one player on the Durham Bulls per year to sleep with and also mentor (by coaching them on how to improve their skills, since she actually does know a lot about baseball, but also by reading them the poetry of Walt Whitman). This year, she has two prospects: rookie pitcher "Nuke" Laloosh (Tim Robbins), who has a powerful arm but no discipline and veteran player "Crash" Davis (Kevin Costner), who is called in by the Bulls' coach to help whip Laloosh into shape. 

Even though Annie picks Laloosh (and has a commitment to remain faithful for the duration of the season), she and Davis grow closer together. Similarly, Laloosh begins to trust Davis and allows Davis to actually coach him and teach him "not to think" so that he pitches with more intuition and less anxiety. 

My issue with Bull Durham is that there is too much baseball. And I don't like baseball. I have a personal boundary around attending baseball games (which means: I don't). Sports in general don't interest me, but baseball is particularly boring. No shade to baseball fans! It's just not for me. The thing about Challengers is that even though it's about tennis, it's not really about tennis...it's about relationships. And I guess Bull Durham is also about relationships, but actual discussion of baseball as a sport takes up WAY too much time in the movie. So, sadly, this classic comedy just wasn't my bag. I'm glad I gave it a watch though!

Grade: B-

***

A League of Their Own

Well, now, hold on just a darn minute. Here's a baseball movie I actually like! And it even has actual baseball in it! But we all know that A League of Their Own is about WAY more than sports. It's about feminism, sisterhood, teamwork, and Tom Hanks playing the crass Jimmy "no crying in baseball" Dugan. 

This was not my first time watching A League of Their Own, but it had been a while and I'm so glad I returned to it. It's such a fulfilling movie. It's got such a good heart. The year is 1943 and since all the young, athletic men are at war, Chicago Cubs owner Walter Harvey wants to put a league of girl baseball players together. Sisters Dottie Hinson (Geena Davis) and Kit Keller (Lori Petty) are recruited...but it's more like Dottie is recruited for both her hitting skills and extremely beautiful looks and she'll only participate if kid sister Kit (a skilled pitcher in her own right) is also recruited. Thus we see the dynamic that has been thrust upon the sisters: Dottie is the beautiful, tall, talented sister and Kit is shorter, less polished runt who lives in Dottie's shadow, much to her chagrin. 

The sisters find themselves on the Rockford Peaches team along with tomboy Doris Murphy (Rosie O'Donnell), sexpot Mae (Madonna), and a host of other interesting and talented women. Their manager is the once very impressive, now very drunk Jimmy Dugan (Tom Hanks), who is more interested in scratching his balls than coaching. So Dottie basically has to lead the team, creating lineups and giving signals to the players. 

I'm not going to go into the entire plot because you've probably already seen it. In order to be taken seriously, the Peaches have to *both* be excellent players *and* exploit their looks and femininity. What I really love about A League of Their Own is that there the characters represent a range of ways to be a woman and although there are some unfortunate "she ugly" jokes aimed at poor Marla Hooch (Megan Cavanagh), the gals themselves don't put down or judge one another for the ways they choose to present themselves. And Marla Hooch falls in love and gets married, so ha! 

A League of Their Own is a wonderful film about what can be accomplished when women lift up, support, and encourage other women. Definitely one to show your daughters--and your sons!

Grade: A-

***

The Green Mile

I was 11 years old when Stephen King's The Green Mile was released in six installments. My mom purchased each of the six slim paperbacks and would leave them on her bedside table. I would sneak into her room and read them. I recall quite vividly feeling ill after reading about "The Bad Death of Eduard Delacroix" (iykyk). I don't remember if I read the entire book when I was 11. Probably not. I probably got a copy when I was a bit older, maybe 12 or 13, and read the entire thing. And it left quite an impression on me because I recently listened to the book on audio while traveling and could recall specific jokes or turns of phrase that had cracked me up as an impressionable tween. 

King's The Green Mile is an A+ book. Although it is a classic example of the offensive "magical negro" trope, where a Black person exists mostly to teach white people a lesson, I can't deny the power of this book. It's funny, it's sad, it's horrific at times and tender at other time. I would highly recommend reading it!

The movie, on the other hand, is Oscar bait. Directed by Frank Darabont and starring Tom Hanks, David Morse, and the late Michael Clarke Duncan, The Green Mile is often groan-worthy. King's book has a certain dark sense of humor that balances out the heartstring-tugging aspects of the story. The movie is overly sincere and, frankly, not dark enough or raw enough. Like I said, it's Oscar bait...specifically, 1990s Oscar bait, which means that it's a serious film that you can take your grandma to. 

Is it a horrible movie? No. It's fine. There are a few very emotional scenes, in particular the death of John Coffey, the large Black man with magical healing hands. Michael Clarke Duncan takes a character that could easily be a one-dimensional stereotype and infuses him with humanity and grace. Tom Hanks is Tom Hanks. It's not his best role. He's here to contribute to the Oscar campaign for the film. The real MVP of the movie, in my opinion, is Michael Jeter playing the aforementioned Eduard Delacroix, a prisoner on the Green Mile who is relentlessly bullied by one of the guards. Now there's a guy who can tug at your heartstrings, even while playing a rapist and murderer! 

tl;dr: you do not need to see this movie. The book is much better. But if grandma wants to watch it, you can feel pretty assured that she won't be too offended by it. 

Grade: B-

***

Stuff I watched in...April, 2024

Baby Reindeer (TV series)

Baby Reindeer was a wonderful and intense surprise. The premise is simple enough: a bartender makes a kind gesture to a lonely woman, opening the door to years of stalking that escalates into physical attacks. But there is so much more to the 7 episode limited series than just that.

For one thing, the creator of the show and its star, Scottish comedian Richard Gadd, actually lived through this. The series is based on his one-man show of the same name which recounted his years being stalked by "Martha" (not her real name) and all the confounding choices Gadd himself made during this time. I say "confounding" because at various points in the storyline, Gadd--playing a version of himself named Donny Dunn--fails to see red flags, set boundaries, explain what is going on to others, and take decisive action prompting the viewer to yell "WHAT!?" at the screen multiple times.

But, ah, there is good reason for Donny's passivity. And I implore anyone interested in seeing the show with a blank slate to stop reading here and just go watch it (it's only about 4 hours in total). Please do look up appropriate trigger warnings because, hoo boy, is there a lot of upsetting material in Baby Reindeer, but this show is 100% worth the watch.

SPOILERS BELOW!

It is revealed partway through the series that years before Donny encountered Martha, he was a struggling comedian who had a run-in with Darrien, a powerful writer with successful TV series under his belt. Under the guise of "mentorship" and "working together", Darrien encourages Donny to do harder and harder drugs with him. While Donny is out of it, Darrien molests him. Donny always feels ashamed after these encounters but keeps going back every time Darrien calls him. It builds up to a horrific encounter where Darrien rapes Donny after having him take a mixture of GHB and LSD. 

Although Donny is able to break away from Darrien, he cannot escape the emotional toll of his experience. He becomes sexually confused, not sure if he prefers men, women, or both. He has meaningless encounters with people of every gender just to feel wanted. He feels intense shame and his self-esteem is in the trash. In other words, he is the ideal person to fall victim to a woman who shows up in his life and becomes obsessed with him. Both because it feels good to Donny to feel wanted, but also because it makes it that much harder to report Martha to the police: Donny reasons that what Martha is doing is not as bad as what Darrien did, and he didn't report Darrien, so what "right" does he have to report Martha?

Baby Reindeer is an astoundingly vulnerable and honest look into the mind and decisions of people who have suffered from abuse. Richard Gadd strikes a beautiful balance at revealing his own missteps while never blaming the victim (in this case, himself). He is also careful to show how Martha is a victim herself: she is mentally unwell, lonely, desperate. But he never excuses her increasingly awful behavior. In an increasingly polarized world, it's tempting to paint situations in black and white, and I believe that Gadd masterfully captures the shades of gray that color his own story. 

Baby Reindeer is an emotionally intense and important story that encourages us to both have empathy for others while also setting boundaries for ourselves. Highly recommended.

Grade: A+

***

Strange Way of Life

This short film (30 minutes) by acclaimed director Pedro Almodovar is so good that the only criticism I can lob at it is that it's too short. Strange Way of Life stars Ethan Hawke and Pedro Pascal as two men who reunite 25 years after sharing a brief fling in the wild days of their youth. But the reunion isn't entirely happy. Silva (Pascal) is back in town to protect his son, accused of murdering a woman who happens to be Jake's (Hawke) sister-in-law. Also, Jake is the sheriff. 

As with all of Almodovar's films, Strange Way of Life is melodramatic, beautiful, and unabashedly queer. It's just too dang short--I would love for this to be a feature-length film! 

Strange Way of Life is currently streaming on Netflix if you want to give it a watch. 

Grade: B+

***

Ripley (TV series)

Based on the novel The Talented Mr. Ripley by Patricia Highsmith, some folks were skeptical of this 8 episode miniseries, which was commissioned by Showtime and then sold to Netflix--which means that it's a higher-quality series than you usually see on Netflix. The skepticism centered mostly on the casting of Andrew Scott (best known as "Hot Priest" from Fleabag) as Tom Ripley. Some felt that Scott was too old to play Tom Ripley, but to my mind there's no "rule" that Tom has to be in his 20s for the plot to work. Johnny Flynn (age 41) plays Dickie Greenleaf, so the two leads are not too mismatched in age anyway.

Filmed in gorgeous black and white, Ripley follows Tom, a scam artist living in New York who is contacted by Herbert Greenleaf (Kenneth Lonergan), a wealthy man who believes that Tom is friends with his son, Dickie. Dickie has been living in Italy for years, doing very little with his life (at least as Herbert sees it) and Herbert wants to pay Tom to go to Italy and convince Dickie to come home to New York. Of course, Tom jumps at the opportunity for a free vacation on Papa Greenleaf's dime. He heads to Italy, knowing nothing of the language and customs, finds Dickie and slowly integrates himself into the lives of Dickie and Dickie's girlfriend, Marge (Elle Fanning). 

If you are familiar with The Talented Mr. Ripley, you know what happens next. For those unfamiliar, I'll just say that Tom very quickly wears out his welcome and doesn't take too kindly to the idea that it's time for him to go back to New York.

I found myself absolutely riveted by the series, especially the second half. I LOVE Anthony Minghella's film The Talented Mr. Ripley, which stars Matt Damon as the titular character. And while I still think the film is superior, I was incredibly impressed with this series and some of the interesting choices it made. Scott plays Tom Ripley as more of a sociopath than Damon did, which leads to some deeply unsettling scenes. Eliot Sumer, the child of Sting and Trudie Styler, plays Freddie Miles (Philip Seymour Hoffman played Freddie in the film version), a friend of Dickie's who becomes very suspicious of Tom. I loved Sumner in this role--they captured Freddie's suspiciousness and smugness so well. 

If you love mystery and noir, you'll probably enjoy Ripley. The cinematography alone makes the series worth checking out.

Grade: A-

***

We Were the Lucky Ones (TV series)

Based on the novel by Georgia Hunter, We Were the Lucky Ones follows a Polish Jewish family as they become separated during WWII and the events of the Holocaust. The Kurc family is made up of Sol and Nechuma, the parents; Halina, Mila, Jakob, Genek, and Addy (the siblings); and Adam, Selim, Bella, and  Herta (the spouses of the siblings). The series opens in 1938 with the news of Nazism and antisemitism on the rise in Eastern Europe, but no real fear from the well-to-do Kurc family who could never believe that their very happy lives could ever be disrupted.

Over the course of the series, we follow the various Kurc family members to various towns on Poland as well as Siberia, Casablanca, and Brazil as they try to outrun or fight against the Nazis (and the Soviets). We Were the Lucky Ones provides a glimpse into how the modern Jewish diaspora occurred. It also shows the many ways in which Jewish people fought back against Nazism, including passing as gentile, engaging in underground resistance, and even complying as best they could. The horrible truth is that it didn't matter whether they complied with increasingly horrific demands and it didn't matter if they "looked" gentile or learned gentile prayers--fascism only cares about crushing everything in its way. 

While the events of We Were the Lucky Ones aren't news to anyone with a modicum of knowledge about history, the show feels important as we watch our own version(s) of fascism play out in the United States and abroad today. It feels borderline taboo to reflect on antisemitism given the devastating war in Palestine and the brutal and violent actions of the Israeli government. But antisemitism is still alive and well and all ethnic, racial, and religious hatred and dehumanization is ultimately cut from the same cloth. The victims may be different, but the perpetrators all have that same thirst for power, cruelty, and control.

Grade: A-

Challengers

I just got out of Luca Guadagnino's movie Challengers and raced home to start writing this. This is one of the most exciting, enthralling, and engaging films I've seen in a long time. The previews for this movie made it out to be "the Zendaya threesome tennis movie", which was enough to get my attention, but oh my god it's so much more. It's about relationships and power dynamics and competition and ambition.

The movie stars Josh O'Connor, Mike Faist, and Zendaya as Patrick Zweig, Art Donaldson, and Tashi Duncan. In 2006, close friends Patrick and Art have just graduated from a tennis academy and won the junior doubles competition at the US Open. At a party, they meet Tashi, an incredibly talented young tennis player whose star is rising. They're both attracted to her and invite her to their hotel room. She stops by and they all make out (yes, everyone has a turn kissing everyone), but before things go further, Tashi gets up tells them that whichever boy wins the match they're playing against each other the next day will get her phone number. They try to get her to reveal which one of them she actually wants to win and she says "I just want to watch some great fucking tennis."

Challengers moves back and forth in time, so you know that Tashi wound up marrying Art and they have a child together...despite having dated Patrick in college (he's the one who got her number). In 2019, Art is a professional tennis player and Tashi, having suffered a knee injury in college and never fully recovered, is his coach. Art is on a losing streak and his confidence is failing. Tashi signs him up for a Challenger event so that he can regain his confidence by beating players way less experienced/talented than he is. However, Patrick, who also had a career as a professional player but is now down on his luck and reduced to sleeping in his car, signs up as a wildcard in the same Challenger...and GUESS WHICH GUYS END UP PLAYING EACH OTHER IN THE FINAL MATCH!?!

As the movie bounces back and forth (much like a tennis ball) between the past and the present, we see the power dynamics shift constantly between the characters. While Tashi is the definition of an Alpha Female, Art and Patrick are never truly hapless victims. They thrive on competition, both on the court and in the bedroom. What amazes me is that despite the lies, mind games, and adultery that occur in Challengers, there always seems to be a feeling of sportsmanship between the characters. While it gets close to cruelty at some points (a conversation between Tashi and Art in bed the night before he plays Patrick in the Challenger is especially difficult to watch) it never really feels like anyone is kicked while they're down. Even Art, who would likely be called a "simp" or a "beta" or a "cuck" by the young folks these days doesn't really seem all that pathetic. Partially because he's a truly talented athlete and partially because Patrick, despite having more "alpha" swagger, is living a much more pathetic life at the time of the Challenger match. And while both men drool and compete over Tashi, they manage to hold their own as best they can. Tashi really is like a goddess in this movie and we're all (Patrick, Art, and the viewers) just living in her world. 

Challengers is about the power of desire. Hot, sweaty, stomach-churning desire. The kind of desire that makes you weep in frustration while never feeling more alive. No director is better at capturing authentic portrayals of desire than Luca Guadagnino. He blew me away with Call Me By Your Name, which was just so honest and sensual and heart-breaking. Challengers comes pretty close to giving me the same feelings I got from CMBYN. This beautiful mix of flirtation, sexuality, intelligence, power dynamics, and humor. And it couldn't have been pulled off with lesser talent. The complexity O'Connor, Faist, and Zendaya have to bring to this film to make it work is extraordinary. The balance they all need to strike to get the tone perfectly right is a tight-rope walk. If Tashi's character were any meaner or any less mean, it would all fall apart. If the two guys were either more aggressive or more pathetic, the movie would feel icky and sad. But they all hit their emotional marks with pinpoint accuracy, making Challengers fun and sexy as hell. This is cinema, baby!

Grade: A+

PS: the soundtrack by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross is AWESOME.