Due to a number of factors, I'm going to be doing my year-end best of blog posts a little differently from now on. For one thing, I'm going to start listing the top movies I watched during the previous year, paying no mind to when the movie originally came out. Yep, that means that if I watch a movie from 1973 and it's one of my favorite movies I watched during the year, it goes on the list. The only stipulation is that it has to be a "first watch", meaning the first time I've seen it. I will try to stick to a "top ten", but I can go above or below that number if I feel it is warranted.
Additionally, I'm going to start doing favorite TV shows and favorite books I watched and read during the year. These lists will probably be a bit shorter than the movie lists, though again not confined to a specific number.
I'll also list the "worst media" I consumed over the year, though it's likely that these will mostly be movies since I tend to tap out early on crappy books and TV shows.
So, without further ado, here are my lists for 2023:
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Top 10 movies I watched in 2023
10. Saltburn
Emerald Fennell's sophomore film Saltburn is not a great film...and some would say that it's not even a good film. But what it is is a wild, fun, outrageous film and it warrants a place on this list for the glee it elicited in me. While I left some of the "big" movies of 2023 with a feeling of "that's it?", I left Saltburn cackling and texting my friends about it. Plus, Barry Keoghan's performance as the snake-y Oliver Quick is one of the most fun performances of the year.
9. The Handmaiden (2016)
It's wild that I didn't watch this erotic tale of cat-and-mouse games and betrayal between a pickpocket, a con man, and a wealthy heiress in early 20th century Korea until just this year. Based on the novel Fingersmith by Sarah Waters, The Handmaiden is a very tricksy movie in which men try to control and dominate women, only for the women to turn the tables--and find a hot and heavy sapphic love while doing so. Directed by Park Chan-wook, whose films always feel like the perfect mix of pulpy trash and luscious class, and with gorgeous cinematography by Chung Chung-hoon (who often works with Park), The Handmaiden is a movie you don't want to sleep on.
8. How to Blow Up a Pipeline
Speaking of sleeping on, How to Blow Up a Pipeline is a tight eco-thriller that flew under the radar in 2023. Although it did get a theatrical release, I didn't even hear about it until it was streaming on Hulu. I'm so glad I watched it. The film follows a group of people we might ungenerously call "eco-terrorists" who come together to blow up an oil pipeline in Texas. Each person has their own reason for being involved in this plot, ranging from despair due to climate change to anger at an oil company seizing property under eminent domain laws. The film has empathy for the characters and pays a small amount of lip service to the regular people they'll fuck over through their act of sabotage, but it's also not a preachy movie that lionizes this group or their actions. Regardless of the politics of the film and its characters, How to Blow Up a Pipeline is thrilling and timely.
7. Infinity Pool
Like Saltburn, Infinity Pool is a movie for the sickos. It contains orgiastic sex, sociopathic violence, ritualistic execution, and a completely unhinged performance by horror "It Girl" Mia Goth. Directed by Brandon Cronenberg, son of David, the film follows a group of rich white people vacationing in a fictional country called Li Tolqa where you can get away with murder...if you have the money. The government of Li Tolqa has a process in which a "double" can be made that looks like and even contains the memories of a person. If you commit a crime, you can pay to have a double created and executed in your place. Writer James (Alexander Skarsgard as you've never seen him before--pathetic, terrified, and weak) discovers this after accidentally killing a man while driving drunk. But it's what happens after James' double is made and executed that makes up the bulk of Infinity Pool--and baby, it's a wild (and bodily fluid-drenched) ride.
6. Elle (2016) -- second review down
Elle, directed by provocateur Paul Verhoeven and starring the queen of fucked up French movies, Isabelle Huppert, is a rape-revenge thriller that is incredibly good despite being very upsetting and violent. It's not so much that the film is "empowering" (although Huppert's character, Michele, is definitely a strong woman), but more that it's unexpected. Elle doesn't follow any of the typical rape-revenge tropes. Michele is raped in her own home by a masked assailant and she doesn't call the police. She also doesn't gain super-human strength and hunt down her predator, like we often see in these kinds of films. She kinda just...goes on living. But she also lures her predator back so that she can discover who he is and the two begin a weird cat-and-mouse game. Some critics decried the film as being a male fantasy in which a woman enjoys being raped and brutalized. But I didn't see it that way at all. It felt more like a movie that says "who knows why people do the things they do?" How very French.
5. May December
Well hey, here's another movie about sexual abuse! May December is director Todd Hayne's fictionalized take on the Mary Kay Letourneau-Vili Fualaau story. Natalie Portman plays actress Elizabeth Berry, who visits Gracie Atherton-Yoo (Julianne Moore) and Joe Yoo (Charles Melton) at their home in Savannah. The Yoos are a married couple with a very large age gap: Joe is 36 and Gracie is 59. A little unusual, but no problem right? Well, they first "got together" when Joe was 13 years old and Gracie was 36. Gracie spent time in prison, where she gave birth to the couple's first child. When Gracie got out of prison and Joe came of legal age, the two married and have been happily together since. What a great love story, right? Elizabeth will be playing Gracie in a movie and wants to make sure she fully understand this "human" story. Director Haynes makes it very, very clear that Gracie is an abuser who controls Joe through emotional manipulation and that Joe suffered dearly from being raped by an older woman at such a young age. Of course, the word "rape" is never used. Charles Melton gives a heartbreaking performance as a man entering middle-age who doesn't even fully comprehend the ways in which his wife abused him and continues to do so. May December has a campy, melodramatic tone that may be off-putting to some viewers, but rightfully pokes fun at the characters who downplay--or even romanticize--their repulsive actions.
4. Sanctuary
And here we have a movie about sadomasochistic head games! Seeing a theme? This nifty little two-hander of a movie stars Margaret Qualley as Rebecca, a dominatrix, and Christopher Abbott as Hal, her wealthy client. After the two have an extended scene in Hal's hotel room, which culminates in Hal masturbating to completion while being told he's less than nothing by Rebecca, the two crazy kids enjoy a meal together. Then Hal informs Rebecca that now that his father is dead and he is taking over his hotel conglomerate, the two can't do BDSM anymore because it would basically make Hal look bad if it came out that he, you know, likes to be forced to clean a bathroom on his hands and knees. Thus begins a cat-and-mouse game (this is like the third movie on this list that has "cat-and-mouse games"!) in which Rebecca demands more and more money from Hal because, as she argues, her dominance of him is what gave him the self-esteem, the cojones if you will, to even *think* about being the kind of guy who can run a hotel conglomerate. Sanctuary was a wonderful surprise that feels both dangerous and very, very fun and has, in my opinion, the best ending of the year.
3. Talk to Me
Seeing Talk to Me in the theatre was probably the best movie experience I had this year. This horror movie, directed Danny and Michael Philippou, is gory, unsettling, and sad. It's not quite Hereditary-level, but it's close. And listening to people absolutely lose their shit during some of the scenes was...well, it's weird to say "fun", but that's what it was. Plus, the movie randomly shut off in the middle for five minutes and we were all given a free movie ticket. An unexpected bathroom break and a free movie? Sweet! Talk to Me is about grief and the lengths people will go to find connection in the midst of depression. The title refers to the incantation the group of teenagers at the center of the film say while holding the embalmed hand of dead person in the hopes of communicating with the dead...but it's also a plea for connection and attention. Main character Mia (Sophie Wilde) is two years out from losing her mother. She is deeply depressed and can't confide in her dad. She also feels alienated from her friends. So when this new "game" of talking to the dead pops up in her friend circles, she eagerly joins in...until tragedy strikes and leads to further isolation and alienation for Mia. I probably thought more about Talk to Me than any other movie on this list.
2. Triangle of Sadness (2022)
Directed by Ruben Ostlund, Triangle of Sadness is a film that satirizes the rich. It follows a young couple, Yaya (Charlbi Dean) and Karl (Harris Dickinson), who are both models and are given a free vacation on a luxury yacht in exchange for Yaya promoting the cruise company on social media. But when the yacht is bombed by pirates, the survivors must work together on an island until they are rescued. So imagine a group of super wealthy people and cruise employees who typically cook for those wealthy folks and scrub their toilets trying to get along in order to survive. When it becomes clear that Abigail (Dolly de Leon), a housekeeper on the yacht, is really the only one who knows jack shit about survival--such as how to catch fish--the power dynamics are turned upside down. Look, "eat the rich" movies are a dime a dozen these days, but Triangle of Sadness is hilarious and worth the watch.
1. Poor Things
Wildly creative director Yorgos Lanthimos strikes gold again with Poor Things. Emma Stone stars in a career-defining role as Bella Baxter, the "creation" of Godwin Baxter (Willem Dafoe), a surgeon who discovers the near-dead corpse of a heavily pregnant women who attempted suicide. Godwin--or "God" to his friends--removes the fetus's brain and puts it into the head of the woman and then revives her with, like, electricity or something. So, Bella is a baby in an adult woman's body at the opening of the film. But babies grow and learn, and so does Bella, who eventually runs off with the Victorian era version of a fuckboy, Duncan Wedderburn (Mark Ruffalo in an unforgettable role). Bella is horny as hell and enjoys "furious jumping" (as she terms it) with Duncan. But she also discovers that she likes exploring and reading and philosophy, making her more annoying and less adorable to Duncan as time goes by. Eventually, she abandons Duncan completely to work as a whore in a brothel in France. Every girl has to have her French prostitute era, am I right ladies? This is where Bella learns about socialism. But the party is abruptly over when Bella is sent word that Godwin is dying and she returns home to meet her maker one last time...but old Duncan has one more trick up his sleeve to destroy Bella's happiness. Poor Things is a visually gorgeous, deeply humanistic film about our capacity to learn, grow, and become better people. Bella slips out of the grasp of the many men who would control and conquer her, and she learns to be her own conquerer and protector. If you felt that Barbie was a little too basic (and capitalistic) in its views on feminism, try giving Poor Things a watch.
Honorable mentions:
The Iron Claw, Oppenheimer, Killers of the Flower Moon, Barbie, Asteroid City, Beau is Afraid
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Top TV shows I watched in 2023:
5. Black Mirror, S6
After a couple seasons that fell flat, Black Mirror returned with five strong episodes. "Beyond the Sea", starring Josh Hartnett, Aaron Paul, and Kate Mara is a particular standout. Like previous seasons, season 6 of this modern day Twilight Zone is a mix of humor and horror.
4. The Curse
The word that comes to mind when I think about The Curse, a show created by Benny Safdie and Nathan Fielder, is "sinister". While the show, which stars Safdie, Fielder, and also Emma Stone (yay! 2023 is the year of weird Emma Stone), is not technically horror in the sense of ghosts and ghouls, it is a horrific (and hilarious and hella awkward) look at clueless white privilege and gentrification. There is no way I can describe this show without it sounding like the most off-putting piece of media to ever exist (which is basically is!), so if absolutely gritting your teeth in white-hot awkwardness sounds interesting to you, check it out! I can say for sure that I've never seen a show like it before. It's fucking wild.
3. Yellowjackets, S2
Yellowjackets is one of the most addictive shows I've seen in a while. The premise--a plane carrying a high school girls soccer team crashes in the Canadian wilderness and the girls have to do horrible things to survive--is enough to draw you in. But the acting, the 1990s-era needle drops, and the mysteries of the woods will keep you coming back for more.
2. The Last of Us
I wasn't planning on watching The Last of Us, but when I found out that the cause for the zombie-like outbreak that fuels this apocalyptic show is a Cordyceps fungal infection, I was immediately interested (I knew about how Cordyceps can affect ants, so I was very intrigued but the idea of it infecting humans). What I discovered is that The Last of Us is less about how humans survive in an apocalyptic situation, and more about how they love in such a situation. It's about how and whether we choose to go on when all hope seems lost. The (in)famous third episode, "Long, Long Time" made that clear. The Last of Us is a perfect mix of action, horror, sci-fi, and heart-warming drama. It also cemented Pedro Pascal's place a Zaddy Extraordinaire.
1. Severance
Pay attention folks: Apple TV's Severance is the best piece of media I consumed in 2023. The show follows a group of people who have undergone a procedure called "severance", in which their memories are severed in two: when they are at work, they have no memory or knowledge of their home lives and when they are at home, they have no memory or knowledge of their work lives. Sounds like a great way to increase work/life balance, right? Well, consider that the part of you that works basically never leaves the office. Not so balanced now, eh? Adam Scott plays Mark Scout, a man who underwent the severance procedure after the death of his wife because he thought it would give him some relief from his grief. But when his "outie" (the nickname for people when they're at home) starts discovering some not-so-cool stuff about the company his "innie" works for, Mark begins to wonder if severance was the right choice. Severance was, to me, a deeply emotional show about the ways in which we avoid bad feelings. The lengths we will go to avoid looking grief and pain right in the eye, and how that avoidance leads to greater pain down the road. I'm so psyched for season 2.
Honorable mentions:
Barry, S4; The Bear, S1 and S2
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Top Books I read in 2023
3. The Book of the Most Precious Substance by Sara Gran
I heard about this book on a Facebook group I'm in called "The Turn of the Page". I had already read Gran's Come Closer in 2022 and was very impressed with how quickly it sucked me in. So when I heard about The Book of the Most Precious Substance, which follows a rare book dealer's quest to find a book of sex magic that supposedly grants the practitioner any desire they have (at a cost, of course...this is the occult we're dealing with!), I was all in. Precious Substance is a mix of occult horror and erotic thriller with a dash of wry humor. Definitely the most fun reading experience I had this year.
2. A Heart That Works by Rob Delaney
Actor and comedian Rob Delany lost his two year old son, Henry, to brain cancer in 2018. This short memoir chronicles Henry's illness, death, and the aftermath of grief. In my humble opinion this book is a masterpiece. The way Delaney approaches grief is singular--I don't know if I've ever read a book that feels this honest. Delaney expresses his boiling hot anger with people who say the wrong things to him when they hear about his dead son. He also expresses his understanding that other people can't understand what he and his wife have been through unless they've been through it themselves. Delany has immense empathy and forgiveness for those same people as well as for himself and his reactions to his own grief (which include, at one point, punching himself in the face). Despite the complete and total agony of losing a young child, Delaney finds joy, humor, and hope--being a comedian, there are some truly funny observations in the book, as well as a sense that Henry's life can be celebrated as well as grieved. A Heart That Works is a remarkable work of grief, love, and compassion.
1. From Hell by Alan Moore and Eddie Campbell
And in contrast to the above, Alan Moore's epic graphic novel about Jack the Ripper was described to me as a book that felt "evil". So, of course I had to see what the fuss was about! From Hell certainly is dark, but it did not feel evil to me. Moore weaves historical fact in with fiction. He takes a specific theory about who Jack the Ripper was and what his motivations were (a theory that has been presented before, but is likely not what really happened or who Jack really was) and runs with it. Without spoiling too much, the theory is that the sex workers who were murdered by Jack knew a secret about the royal family (the family of Queen Victoria, that is) and that Jack was a person close to the royal family acting on orders. Moore provides copious notes at the end of this enormous tome of a book which I eagerly read after I devoured each chapter. Overall, the book took more than a month to read and I went out of my way to read it slowly and deliberately, since I knew that was the only way to approach From Hell. The experience of reading this book was similar to eating a very filling meal at an expensive restaurant--it demanded time, attention, and thoughtfulness and the result was feeling very full and satisfied.
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The Worst Media I Consumed in 2023:
2. Leave the World Behind
The more I think about this movie, which was recently released on Netflix, the more I am annoyed by it. For one, it squanders a lot of talent: it is directed by Sam Esmail, creator of Mr. Robot, and it stars Mahershala Ali, Julia Roberts, Ethan Hawke, and Kevin Bacon. The premise is also interesting: what if you rented a house for a vacation weekend and apocalyptic events began occurring and then people showed up at the house claiming it was theirs but with no identification? Sounds pretty wild, right? Sadly, Leave the World Behind is an exercise in frustration and boredom. Is it the worst movie of all time? Not hardly. But it was just an all-around disappointment.
1. The Scary of Sixty-First (2020)
This bizarre horror film, which can be found on the streaming service Shudder if you want to give it a go, is one of the only movies I've ever rated an "F" on this blog. That's because it goes above and beyond just being bad and into the realm of morally repulsive. Now, if you read this blog regularly, you might wonder what I could possibly find morally repulsive? Hell, I gave Salo, or, the 120 Days of Sodom an "A" rating!
Well, The Scary of Sixty-First is about two young women who rent an apartment in New York for a suspiciously good price. Turns out, Jeffrey Epstein is the former owner. Yup. So, one of the women begins obsessively researching Epstein and associated conspiracy theories and the other woman somehow becomes possessed by living in the apartment and starts to act babyishly when having sex with her boyfriend: asking him to pretend she's 13 years old and talking in a high-pitched baby voice. In another scene, she furiously masturbates to pictures of Prince Andrew.
I have no idea what director Dasha Nekrasova wanted to accomplish in making this film, which is nothing less than an exploitation film which, in my opinion, disrespects the actual victims of Epstein and his associates. If she wanted to make a haunted apartment movie and even wanted it to be haunted by the ghost of a dead pedophile, sure, whatever. But why choose an actual pedophile who harmed actual people? I've watched movies about pedophilia and child sex abuse before (Mysterious Skin is one example) and they have never felt exploitative of the victims. But The Scary of Sixty-First uses a real life person who destroyed countless lives and uses him as a Boogeyman for entertainment purposes. I don't think this film should be banned or anything...freedom of speech and artistic expression and all that...but goddamn this movie is stupid and sick...and well deserving of it's place as the biggest piece of shit I watched all year.
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That's all, folks! See ya in 2024!
