You'd be forgiven for thinking that Todd Haynes' latest film, May December, is a lesbian romance. After all, there are two female actors on the poster, one older (Julianne Moore) and one younger (Natalie Portman). And of course Haynes is known for his queer stories, including the lesbian classic, Carol.
But May December is about as far from a queer romance as you'll get. In fact, the film is in many ways about toxic heterosexuality and the ways in which straight culture and gender roles allow for women to get away with sexually and emotionally abusing men.
Portman plays Elizabeth Berry, an actress researching a role. She visits the woman whom she is researching, one Gracie Atherton-Yoo. In 1992, Gracie made the national news because she "had an affair" with Joe Yoo, whom she is married to in the present. Why was this affair national news? Well, at the time, Gracie was 36 and Joe was 13 years old.
May December is clearly inspired by Mary Kay Letourneau, who made headlines for raping her 12 year old student, Vili Fualaau, when she was 34. The two had a sexual relationship and, after Letourneau served time in prison and Fualaau reached the age of majority, married. In May December, Gracie and Joe have a similar timeline: they begin "an affair" (the word "rape" is never used in the film) and are caught. Gracie serves prison time and has their first child, Honor, while in prison. After serving her time and waiting until Joe is legally of age, the two get married and have two more children--twins. 23 years later, Joe and Gracie are still happily married and sending the twins off to college.
But are things as happy between Joe and Gracie as they say they are? Hahahahahahaha, of course not! Charles Melton plays Joe Yoo in a vulnerable breakout role. Joe is essentially a 13 year old kid in a grown man's body, having been robbed of his teenage years and forced into the national spotlight and into fatherhood well before he was ready. But he cannot talk to Gracie about this without Gracie furiously exclaiming "You seduced me!" While Gracie and Joe present a united front to Elizabeth, we see how Gracie controls Joe behind closed doors. Not with fists or abusive words, but through her emotions--weaponizing her tears and forcing Joe to validate her and drop any questions or concerns he has about how their relationship began. Gracie also manipulates her children, especially her daughters, with passive aggressive remarks about their weight.
Elizabeth talks to not only the Atherton-Yoo family, but to Gracie's ex-husband, who seems kinda ok with (or, at least, accepting of) the whole thing, though he does refer to 36 year old Joe as "the boy". She speaks to Gracie's defense lawyer, the owner of the pet shop where Gracie and Joe met, and Gracie's son, Georgie, from her previous marriage. While Georgie is obviously disgruntled about his mother ruining his life, most of the other folks seem to be accepting of Gracie and Joe's, er, unusual relationship.
To be clear, Todd Haynes is not accepting of it. He walks a fine line between straight-forward drama and campy dramedy. He is clearly rolling his eyes at anyone who sees Gracie and Joe's relationship as anything besides what it actually is: an abusive marriage between a sexual predator and her victim. The movie is indeed darkly funny. I let out a bark of laughter when Elizabeth tells her director that the 13 year old boys auditioning for the role of Joe aren't "sexy" enough. It's that kind of humor: dark, cringe-inducing, and delighted to poke holes in the bullshit morality and excuses Gracie makes for herself and others make for her.
May December is a movie about delusion--self-delusion and communal delusion in service of keeping things calm and peaceful. Elizabeth's entrance into Gracie and Joe's lives stirs shit up and soon Joe is both claiming to Elizabeth that he "wanted it" and bringing up the possibility that he was perhaps "too young" to Gracie. What is monstrous is that neither woman is actually interested in Joe's feelings. Gracie is too focused on convincing herself that she is a good person and Elizabeth is too interested in researching her role, no matter the cost. Joe remains a person to manipulate and abuse in service to these women's feelings and goals.
May December slices like a knife through our shared cultural delusions about teenage boys and full grown men. We assume that teenage boys won't be harmed by having sex "too soon", even though we clutch our pearls at the idea of a young girl having sex. Likewise, we think grown men should man up, force bad feelings down, never cry, and instead be a comforting, strong presence for the emotional women in their lives. By doubling down on their "affair" and getting married, Joe and Gracie swap true justice and accountability for a veneer of happiness that just can't hold up in the long run.
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