The Naked Gun
It's been a REALLY long time since I watched the original (1988) The Naked Gun, but I remember thinking it was hilarious. When the positive reviews started coming out about this (sequel? reboot?) version, I figured it would be a great movie to watch with my dad--and it was!
Liam Neeson is perfect actor to take on the role of Frank Drebin Jr. (supposed to be Leslie Nielsen's son). Neeson has made his bread and butter playing straight man roles in movies both excellent and not-so-excellent. The Naked Gun is one of those movies where you need a dramatic actor playing it straight in order for the humor to work, and Neeson is up to the task.
Likewise, Pamela Anderson is wonderful as Beth Davenport, the sister of a murder victim and Frank's love interest.
Danny Huston rounds out the cast as Richard Cane, a tech mogul with a sinister plan. Huston is always good as a villain and he's perfect as Cane.
There's not much to say about The Naked Gun except that it's one of those movies where you're laughing so much, you actually end up missing jokes. The humor runs from the absurd to potty humor to Mitch Hedberg-esque one-liners to slapstick. There's a little something for everyone.
Grade: B
***
Final Destination: Bloodlines
Final Destination is one of my favorite horror franchises. The premise is inherently interesting and, unlike many other horror franchises, the sequels meet (or exceed) the excellence of the original film. For me, the first Final Destination film, which came out in 2000 and stars Devon Sawa, will always be the best of the franchise. However, the latest of the series, Final Destination: Bloodlines, gives the original a run for its money.
The film starts out in the past: 1969, to be exact. Iris and Paul are a couple who have a dinner reservation during the opening night of the Sky View--a high-rise restaurant with a dance floor made of glass. After Iris has a vision of the dance floor breaking and everyone in the restaurant falling to their death, she screams at everyone to get off the dance floor and ends up saving the lives of everyone in the restaurant.
But as we know from the series, you can't cheat death.
In 2024, Stefani Reyes keeps having dreams about the Sky View and identifies the woman in her dreams as her estranged grandmother, Iris. She begins asking the family about Iris and is told to leave well enough alone: Iris ruined her children's lives due to her obsession with safety and now lives alone as a recluse. Of course, Stefani goes to visit Iris and learns about the whole "death with find you" thing. Iris explains that because there were so many people who survived the Sky View, death has been taking years to snuff them all out. Many of those people had children. And if you're part of the bloodline of someone who was meant to die that night--you're on death's list too.
So, Stefani has to convince her family to find a way to circumvent death's plan. Which will be damned hard since no one believes her.
Final Destination: Bloodlines has some excellent kills. It's also Tony Todd's final film before his death. If you're a fan of the franchise, don't miss this one, and even if you're not, you might enjoy the movie regardless.
Grade: B
***
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
It's kind of wild that I hadn't seen this "ultimate dad movie" until now, but I really hated Russell Crowe in the early 2000s. However, time heals all wounds and I've forgiven Crowe for being a dick 20+ years ago (he wasn't a dick to me, just a dick in general).
Master and Commander is an epic sea adventure that takes place in 1805. Crowe plays "Lucky" Jack Aubrey, captain of the HMS Surprise, who is tasked with taking down the French privateer ship Acheron. The film is basically a cat-and-mouse game between the two ships and we see the various strategies Aubrey and his crew use to foil, escape from, and ultimately take over Acheron.
This movie is based on the first in a series of novels by Patrick O'Brien. The novels focus on the relationship between Aubrey and Stephen Maturin (played in the film by Paul Bettany), a surgeon and naturalist. These two men compliment each other in strengths and weaknesses: where Aubrey is optimistic, energetic, and arrogant, Maturin is cautious, introverted, and realistic.
I think what struck me about Master and Commander is what a perfect example of "positive masculinity" the film is: for the most part, the men of HMS Surprise help each other and lead each other. Jack Aubrey actually learns from his mistakes with the help of his friend Maturin, and Maturin likewise puts his own interests aside to help others. There are definitely some negative consequences of "groupthink" on the Surprise (the fate of Hollom), but there is also a lot of camaraderie and care.
Master and Commander is a comfort film of sorts: there are stakes, and high ones, but at the end of the day it's about a bunch of competent people coming together for the greater good. Well, the greater good of Britain, of course. Really glad I watched it and I'm looking forward to revisiting it.
Grade: A-
***
The Blood on Satan's Claw
1971's The Blood on Satan's Claw is one of three films in the "Unholy Trinity" of original folk horror (at least British folk horror) films. The other two are Witchfinder General and The Wicker Man. In watching this one, I have now seen all three.
I don't consider The Blood on Satan's Claw to be a particularly "good" film, but it's definitely got vibes that a lot of people will fuck with. The movie, which takes place in the early 18th century, is about Pagan vs. Christian, young vs. old, sex vs. chastity, and chaos vs. order. A group of children (teenagers, really), lead by blonde popular girl Angel Blake, begin worshipping a demonic god and making sacrifices to him. The elders of the village try to stop them before the whole village descends into satanic violence.
The acting and editing of the film are not great in my opinion. It has a very low budget, cheesy 1970s feel to it. Also, it's incredibly psychosexual. What I mean by that is that there are scenes of assault and violence that are heavily sexualized. I didn't mind this and was actually pretty amused by it, but it added to the old-fashioned feeling of the movie.
I'm glad I watched The Blood on Satan's Claw, but I would consider it my least favorite of the unholy trinity (The Wicker Man is by far the best). That said, it's a must-watch for anyone into folk horror. If you don't mind a little cheesiness (and, er, significant sexual violence), it's a fun movie.
Grade: C+
***
Little Miss Sunshine
It's been a while since I've seen this iconic mid-aughts indie dramedy. Little Miss Sunshine is a movie that got lumped in with all the other "twee"/"manic pixie dream girl" movies that were so abundant from 2004-2012. Other examples of the twee genre include Garden State, Elizabethtown, 500 Days of Summer, Juno, etc.
This type of movie is a bit maligned now that we've entered a more cynical era and, indeed, some of these movies are just plain bad and others don't hold up well. But Little Miss Sunshine rises above the rest, in my humble opinion. It still has a lot of problems (namely: what is up with the whole "grandpa teaches young granddaughter how to strip to the song "Superfreak"" thing?...we'll get to that below)...but it also has a lot of genuine emotion and sincerity that is missing from other twee movies. The problems these characters face are real ones: drug addiction, suicide, money issues, failure, and depression. I never felt like any of these characters were caricatures, but, rather, real and imperfect people.
I think there are a few standouts here: Alan Arkin as Ed Hoover (aka grandpa), who brings a lot of laughs with his crude sense of humor...but also brings tears as he assures young Olive (Abigail Breslin) that she's not a "loser". I also think there is a reason we all paid attention to this kid named Paul Dano (playing disaffected teenager Dwayne)... he went on the very next year to play Eli Sunday in There Will Be Blood. Dano is really good as Dwayne, a character who is both deeply angry and deeply sensitive.
The film climaxes at the Little Miss Sunshine child beauty pageant which no one in the Hoover family understood was, well, a child beauty pageant. Oliver Hoover is very much not prepared to go on stage alongside 6 year olds with the same makeup and hair as Tammy Faye Baker...and that is the point of the film, which is that being yourself is more important than being a fake. But it's also just a weird choice to have Olive strip (granted, down to a bodysuit) to "Superfreak". On the one hand, it muddies the message that child beauty pageants sexualize little girls. On the other hand, the whole situation is so weird that is still kind of fits in with the movie overall. I do think the directors (Valerie Faris and Jonathan Dayton) wanted to say "Ironically, this young girl doing stripper moves to a sexual song is LESS SEXUAL than the more conventional children in this pageant. IS YOUR MIND BLOWN YET??" Well, message received, directors.
Overall, I have to hand it to Little Miss Sunshine: I was impressed with how well it held up. It's funny, it's emotional, it's a bit manipulative and cheesy, but it's also weird and kinda fucked up, which balances out the cheesiness. It's not for everyone, but it is for me.
Grade: A-
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