Saturday, June 12, 2021

The COVID Diaries--Part 18

 Here is what I am watching (so far) during the quarantine for COVID-19 

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Saint Maud

This concise (85 minutes) first film by Rose Glass is a creepy psychological horror film about what can happen when religious fanaticism and extreme loneliness collide. Maud (Morfydd Clark) is private hospice nurse who takes a job caring for a once-renowned dancer, Amanda (Jennifer Ehle), who is now dying from stage four lymphoma. Maud is also a newly converted Catholic who talks regularly to God and begs Him to give her a purpose. After a brief conversation with Amanda about her fears of death, Maud is convinced that her purpose is to save Amanda's soul.

The horror comes in the form of body horror--some of which we know is all too horribly real, such as when Maud put tacks in her shoes and then steps into them with her full weight (the sound effects here really sell the scene). But some scenes of Maud twisting, contorting, and even being lifted into the air by some unknown force--well, we're not sure if this is all in her head or really happening. 

Saint Maud is well worth the watch for horror and suspense fans, but even non-horror fans might want to give this one a try. The horror is less about demons or ghosts, and more about the lengths fragile people will go to convince themselves their mission is right. 

Grade: A-

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Bamboozled

Bamboozled is a Spike Lee film released in 2000. Damon Wayans plays Pierre Delaroix, a Black man working for a television company. His racist boss (played perfectly by Michael Rapaport) wants Pierre to create a sensationalist show about Black people--not a "Cosby clone" that portrays Black people as smart and hardworking. Insulted, Pierre goes the "I'll give him a show so disgusting, he'll regret he ever asked" route--he formulates the idea for a show based on old minstrel shows, featuring Black actors in blackface with names like "Sleep n' Eat" who talk in an exaggerated southern accent. Basically: take all the worst stereotypes of people of color, throw a healthy amount of n-words in for flavor, and serve to his shitty boss.

Well, the show is a hit. I'm not sure whether Spike Lee was inspired by The Producers or not, but he takes a page from the Mel Brooks classic by having the scheme to create a terrible show blow up in the creator's face when said show becomes enormously popular. Now Pierre is in the awkward situation of deciding between accepting the accolades (and money) that are rolling in due to his blatantly racist "Mantan: The New Millennium Minstrel Show" and quitting, which his secretary, Sloan (Jada Pinkett Smith) encourages him to do.

There's a lot more plot, and the film, unlike The Producers, is actually quite tragic. Not only is it meant to educate the viewer on the history of minstrel shows/blackface, I read it as an indictment against Black individuals who take advantage of systemic and cultural racism for personal gain. I've talked in this blog before about how I took a pop culture in American history class in college and we were shown this film. A white women--blond "I want to talk to the manager" bob and Vera Bradley bag and all--said "I am so sick of apologizing for being white" after it was over. What that (I'm sorry, but I have to say it) stupid bitch didn't grasp is that Spike Lee did not make this film for racist assholes like her. Like many excellent examples of Black art and culture, this just isn't about us (white people). But it's still absolutely worth the watch no matter your color.

Grade: B

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The Thing

I was kind of surprised not to like this movie more. It's a stone-cold horror classic (specifically, body horror, one of my favorite sub-genres) directed by John Carpenter. But I found it a little too slow for my liking.

A group of researchers are working at a base in Antarctica when they discover what appears to be an alien spaceship, as well as a dead...thing...that doesn't look quite human. They bring the...thing...back to base to autopsy it, but soon starts causing havoc because it is essentially about to latch onto people (and animals) and transform them into horrible creatures. 


I think The Thing is a classic for two reasons: one, we don't really know what "the thing" is. It could probably be explained as a cross between an alien and a virus. We know it's not from this earth, but instead of being a traditional alien, it doesn't really have a single form. And it can jump from person to person via attacks, so it acts like a virus in that it infects you. So, already, the ghoul is twice as scary as a regular horror movie bad guy because it's so unpredictable and strange. 

The second reason is that the real meat of the movie is not The Thing itself, but how it quickly causes the men to turn on each other and become paranoid and suspicious of the very people they previously trusted with their lives. As always, horror movies are all about the subtext, not the text. And in this case, the subtext is...what if a person you previously thought of as a friend or colleague might secretly not be who they say they are? In fact, what if that person had the power to turn on you in a horrible way at any moment. 

So, overall I recognize The Thing as a classic, even though I didn't love it. 

Grade: B-

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The Sixth Sense

I rewatched M. Night Shyamalan's The Sixth Sense for the first time in like a decade and a half and I have to say that it holds up! The experience was so different than when I first saw it at age 14. When I first saw it, the film legitimately scared the absolute shit out of me. So most of the movie was spent curled into a ball waiting for the next shocking image to appear.

Now that I am a hardened horror fanatic, I can watch this film and appreciate just how good of a movie it is because I'm seeing beyond the jump scares. Do you guys remember that Toni Collette, who plays Cole Sear's mom, was nominated for Best Supporting Actress for this movie? And guess what: that nomination was much deserved! Collette does a wonderful job of adding an emotional heart to the film. 

As a grown-ass adult in my mid-thirties, I now see the more tender aspects of the movie about a little boy (Haley Joel Osment...still stunning in the role) who sees dead people. The Sixth Sense is about love, loss, and family as much as it is about ghosts. While Shyamalan has to keep his cards close to his chest about what's going on with Bruce Willis's character and his wife, he can show the full range of emotion between Cole and his mom, who is desperately concerned for her son's wellbeing. There are so many scenes where she is crying and begging him to tell her what's wrong, but Cole can't because he wouldn't be believed.

If you haven't seen The Sixth Sense since it was in theatres, I highly encourage you to check it out again. Although Shyamalan has a reputation for being a cheesy/terrible director, his first film holds up and you might be surprised at what you discover.

Grade: A-

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The Mortuary Collection

This is a fun little horror movie that has a frame story (a girl applies for a job at a mortuary) and four mini horror movies contained within it. Sam (Caitlin Custer) shows up at Raven's End Mortuary to inquire about a "Help Wanted" sign outside. The mortician, an imposing older man named Montgomery Dark (Clancy Brown) shares stories with Sam about how various people died throughout the history of the mortuary. Each story is essentially a morality tale about someone who commits a misdeed and is severely and grotesquely punished. Sam counters with a story of her own about how "in real life, the bad guy wins". 


I can't say more than that, since I would give away too much, but suffice it to say that this is an entertaining movie that fits a lot of different kinds of horror into a succinct 2 hour film, including horror-comedy. 

Grade: B


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