Stuff I watched in...February 2022

Titane

Titane, directed by French filmmaker Julia Ducournau, is pretty much the definition of a provocative, subversive film. The only thing I knew going into it is that it had been compared to David Cronenberg's Crash, a film in which people are sexually aroused by car crashes (not the racist monstrosity Crash directed by Paul Haggis).

In Titane, protagonist Alexia is in a car crash at a young age and has to get a titanium plate put in her skull as a result. She grows up to be a model who, um, fucks cars. But if you think the car-fucking is the weirdest thing about this movie, you are dead wrong.

I'm going to post spoilers below, because some people who read this blog don't want to actually watch the freaky movies I talk about but still want to know the juicy details. However, if you're a cinephile, just trust me and watch the movie without knowing anything else.

Spoilers...

Spoilers...

As a result of fucking a car, Alexis becomes pregnant. Also, Alexis is basically a serial killer who kills random people for fun. After murdering a house of people, she flees her town, disfigures her appearance by shaving her head and breaking her nose (in one of many "watch through your fingers" moments in the movie) and claims to be the 17 year old missing son of a fire captain named Vincent. The missing son disappeared 10 years ago, so there is some plausibility that a woman in her 20s could make herself appear as a 17 year old boy. But the fact is, Vincent doesn't give a shit. He is on board that this person is his son. He needs to believe his son is back, just as Alexis needs someone to take her in.

/End spoilers

/End spoilers

Titane is one of the most unique movies I've seen and I was astonished by it. It's not a movie I'm going to rewatch often, if ever, and it is absolutely brutal in many scenes. But, my god, is it creative and batshit. Definitely worth the watch for fans of subversive cinema.

Grade: A

***

Benedetta

Now, here's a movie that had the potential to be subversive and ended up...not so much. Director Paul Verhoeven takes on the true story of Benedetta Carlini, a nun who lived in the late 16th/early 17th centuries. Benedetta was a mystic who claimed to have visions of Jesus. She was also a lesbian who had an affair with a fellow convent-dweller, Bartolomea. 

Unfortunately, Verhoeven takes this incredibly interesting story and turns it into a softcore porno where a woman fucks another woman with a dildo carved out of a statue of the Virgin Mary. 

Now don't get me wrong: I love a good blasphemous dildo-fucking! I am not offended, and, indeed, am into explicit sex and explorations of sexuality on film. But the kind of sex Benedetta (played by the angelic-looking Virginie Efira) and Bartolomea (Daphne Patakia) is 100% male gaze-y 100% of the time. We're talking rough boob-grabbing, and orgasms from penetration alone (from a wooden dildo no less). I've never had sex with a woman, but I've had sex AS a woman, and this ain't it. And I know enough about queer sex to know that queer people are going to watch this and fucking laugh their asses off at how ridiculous it is. Queer people reading this--please correct me if I'm wrong! 

Now, as for the non-sex parts of the film, which involve Benedetta claiming to have stigmata and visions of Christ...it's not too bad. I mean, everyone is way too pretty and clean to look like they're living in a 1600s convent, but other than that, the politics of the convent, the ways the various women vie for power in a deeply patriarchal society--that shit is actually interesting. So I can't judge the movie TOO harshly. 

Do I recommend it? Suuuureee. It's fun, it's campy, it's got a lot of tits in it. So there are definitely reasons to watch this film. But don't expect to have your mind blown.

Grade: C+

***

The Beta Test

Last year, I watched an excellent horror-comedy film called The Wolf of Snow Hollow. It was written by, directed by, and starring Jim Cummings (not to be confused with the well-known voice actor). Not only is Cummings hot in that really annoying alpha male way, he's insanely talented! So when I heard that a new film, The Beta Test, written, directed, and starring the very same, I was so excited to watch it.

And while The Beta Test is good...it also feels deeply unsatisfying. The film focuses on a man named Jordan Hines (Cummings), a Hollywood talent agent who is incredibly good looking (seriously guys, Google this man), successful, rich, and also engaged to a lovely woman, Caroline (Virginia Newcomb). This dude is white privilege personified. So, of course, when he gets an letter in the mail inviting him to a rendezvous with an "anonymous admirer" in a fancy hotel, he immediately throws the card away, knowing no good will come of it!

LOL, of course he RSVPs "yes"! During the hookup, he is required to wear a blindfold, as is the woman he is meeting. From our perspective as the viewer, the hookup seems straightforward enough. But as soon as the post-nut clarity sets in, Jordan becomes increasingly paranoid: what if this is a blackmail scheme? What if he gets "MeTooed"? What if someone else was in the room with him and the woman? What if they have photos? Jordan is already a dick, but his paranoia causes him to become insufferable and put his job and relationship in jeopardy.

The ending, in my opinion, is incredibly anti-climatic. I feel like Jim Cummings had the opportunity to say something profound about Hollywood, sexual harassment, and white, male privilege--especially as he, Cummings, is in Hollywood but also doing his own shit. He's an auteur and presumably beholden to no one. But he kind of fumbles whatever message he is trying to get across in the end. In fact, it's not clear what the message or moral of The Beta Test is.

I will say, the movie is funny and entertaining. It also has a very triggering opening scene where a woman is brutally murdered...so be careful with that. I am inclined to be forgiving of this movie because I think Cummings has a lot of talent and promise...I hope his next film is closer to The Wolf of Snow Hollow than The Beta Test. 

Grade: B

***

Cherry Falls

Cherry Falls is a 2000 teen slasher film starring the late, very missed Brittany Murphy. Though the film has many teen slasher cliches, the premise has a huge twist: the serial killer on the loose targets virgins. Murphy plays Jody, the (yes, virginal) daughter of the town sheriff. After multiple teens are killed, the sheriff calls a town meeting and reveals the killer's modus operandi--they carve the word "virgin" into the victim's body...and the female victims are, uh, intact. We're not going to get into a hymen/anatomy lesson here, so for the sake of staying on topic: yes, all the victims, male and female, have never had penis-in-vagina heterosexual intercourse. 

Well, as soon as the teens find out, they immediately plan a "pop your cherry" party to make sure they don't make the killer's shortlist. Jody, meanwhile, is attacked by the killer but escapes. She is able to describe the attacker: a person with long, stringy black hair with a gray streak, dark nail polish, and combat boots. She overhears a private conversation between her father and the high school principal saying that the artist's sketch based on Jody's description looks strikingly similar to a woman named Lora Lee Sherman. Who is Lora Lee Sherman? Is she indeed the killer? What is the relationship between this woman, the sheriff, and the principal? And will Jody lose her virginity before it's too late? You'll have to watch to find out!

Cherry Falls absolutely has a ton of regressive stereotypes about men and women, and the queer-coded individuals...well, let's just say the movie completely blows any decent queer representation. Still, there is a streak of subversion within this otherwise cliched teen scream of a film. Cherry Falls represents a slightly edgier take on the teen slasher and is delightfully campy. If you're in the mood for a retro throwback (or millennial nostalgia), Cherry Falls is a really fun slasher pic.

Grade: B

***

Inherent Vice

Inherent Vice is a neo-noir comedy directed by Paul Thomas Anderson. It's based on the book by Thomas Pynchon and I can barely tell you what it's about because the film has so many characters, so many twists and turns, that you pretty much have to accept that you're going to get lost in the whole mess. It's a prime example of a "shaggy dog tale". And the "dog" in question is Larry "Doc" Sportello (Joaquin Phoenix, playing an extremely chill dude for a change), a private eye living in the early 70s in Los Angeles. Doc's ex-girlfriend, Shasta (Katherine Waterson), tells him about her new lover, a real estate tycoon named Micky Wolfmann. She asks Doc to help prevent a scheme in which Mickey's wife and her lover plan to commit Mickey to an insane asylum and, I guess, take control of his money.

There are also multiple sub-plots where Doc is hired by different people to find different missing persons...but all threads seem to lead to drug-smuggling operation called "The Golden Fang" who use "vertical integration"--i.e. they sell their drugs and then when those drugs cause negative physical and mental health side effects, they sell the cure (dentistry and a rehabilitation center in this case). It all turns out to be very clever in the end, but the journey there labyrinthian. 

I didn't love Inherent Vice, though it certainly had some hilarious moments and it has a huge cast of great actors. I will likely try watching it again because Paul Thomas Anderson movies never seem "good" the first time I watch them, but upon repeat viewings, they sometimes skip right over "good" and into the "great" category. Until then, I would say that Inherent Vice is a sometimes delightfully muddled film...and sometimes just a muddle.

Grade: B-

***

Cyrano

So, I went into Joe Wright's musical adaptation the Edmond Rostand's 1897 play Cyrano de Bergerac only knowing the first half of the plot: a witty, intelligent, yet "unattractive" man, Cyrano, agrees to write love letters to the woman he loves--Roxane--on behalf of a not-so-witty, but handsome man, Christian, who also loves Roxane. I mean, if that plot doesn't scream FRENCH FARCE I don't know what does!

Uh, but it turns out that Cyrano is a tragedy with a heavy moral lesson. In the original play, Cyrano's big imperfection is that he has an abnormally large nose. In Joe Wright's version, Cyrano is a dwarf, played by who else but Peter Dinklage. Unstated, but definitely in the subtext, is the fact that Peter Dinklage is very handsome--and he plays the talented, snarky, witty Cyrano so easily because Dinklage is talented, snarky, and witty. But is he any match for Kelvin Harrison Jr. as Christian de Neuvillette? Harrison Jr. is devastatingly handsome any way you slice it. He has kind eyes and a warm smile. But unfortunately, he is terrible with words. And Roxane's (played by fresh-faced, angelic Haley Bennett) love language is verbal affirmation, bitch!

So the farce part of the movie plays out with Cyrano writing letters on Christian's behalf. In one scene, Christian stands below Roxane's balcony while Cyrano whispers the words he so dearly wishes HE could say to Roxane.

But the second half of the movie is a stone cold tragedy. Roxane has yet another admirer--De Guiche (Ben Mendelsohn), a classic villain. He is a nobleman, he is rich, he is old and ugly, and he is a predatory prick. When he finds out that Roxane has her heart set on Christian, he sends the King's Guard (of which both Christian and Cyrano are part) to the front lines of the war their country is battling, knowing that survival is unlikely. 

The moral lesson at the heart of Cyrano is that Cyrano loves his pride more than he loves Roxane. He is so scared of being rejected that he never even tries to tell her his feelings. There's definitely a lesson here about "the friend zone" and men projecting their own self-resentments onto women, but I doubt the incel and red pill crowd is going to see this movie. 

Cyrano has great acting and a hell of a final scene. The musical aspect...meh. I found the songs stilted and hackneyed. Many of the songs did that thing where they just describe what's happening. Like, Cyrano will just straight up sing "I love Roxane/but I am not a fool to think she'll ever love a man like me/so I will write these letters/signed by another" (I just made that up, but that's literally what the songs sound like). A Lin-Manuel Miranda production this is NOT!

That said, if you like romantic tear-jerkers/Peter Dinklage, you're probably going to find something to appreciate about Cyrano. And the cinematography is stunning. Stun. Ning.

Grade: B-

Stuff I watched in...January 2022

Yellowjackets

If you haven't heard of Showtime's news series, Yellowjackets, you must be living under a rock. This series has caused a feverish obsession in almost everyone who has watched it.

The show has two timelines: 1996 and present day. In 1996, a plane carrying a girl's soccer team who are traveling to a national tournament crashes in the Canadian wilderness. Many of the girls, as well as the assistant coach and the two sons of the head coach, survive. But their trials and tribulations are only beginning and there are horrors untold lurking in those woods...

...in the modern day timeline, four of the women who survived the harrowing 18 months of being lost in the wilderness try to live their lives. Those women are Shauna (Melanie Lynskey), an unsatisfied housewife and mom; Taissa (Tawny Cypress), a Black and openly gay woman running for senate; Natalie (Juliette Lewis), an addict and alcoholic fresh out of rehab and back to drinking and drugging; and Mistry (Christia Ricci), a nurse who works in an elder care facility and is probably a sociopath. 

When the adult women receive postcards that have a symbol on them that is tied to their year and a half in the woods, they get scared. They did things to survive in the woods that they don't want people to know about. Is their past coming back to haunt them?

The series has been picked up for five seasons and, sure enough, by the end of season one we have some answers, but many, many more questions. Yellowjackets is just as good and just as disturbing as you've heard and it is definitely worth paying for or bumming a Showtime login from a friend to watch.

Grade: A

***

Nightmare Alley

Directed by Guillermo del Toro, Nightmare Alley is a noir film about a man, Stanton Carlisle (Bradley Cooper), who takes a job as a carny at a traveling circus. The year is 1939, so many people are down on their luck and no one really cares about Stan's past. He makes friends with a fortune teller, Zeena (Toni Collette), and her alcoholic husband, Pete (David Strathairn), who teaches Stan the tricks of the "mind-reading" trade. He also falls in love with young beauty, Molly (Rooney Mara). He eventually convinces Molly to leave with him and start their own mind-reading act together.

They do, and are enormously successful. One night, they encounter a very skeptical woman, psychologist Lilith Ritter (Cate Blanchett), who attempts to expose their act in the middle of it. Stan is able to save the situation, but he is very intrigued with Lilith and vice versa. Stan and Lilith meet and come up with a plan to swindle customers: being a psychologist to very wealthy clients, she knows the private details of their lives. Clients who wish to contact dead relatives come to Stan, who claims he can communicate with the dead. Using Lilith's knowledge, they can make big money preying on grieving rich people.

I bet you can guess where this is going to end up, given that the film is a hard boiled noir. Stan gets his comeuppance. The ending is actually REALLY great, even if you can see it coming a mile away. It's nasty and poetic. Cooper is excellent at playing a very attractive con man whose biggest sin is greed, and the entire cast, stacked wall-to-wall with talent (I haven't even mentioned that Willem Dafoe, Richard Jenkins, Ron Perlman, and Mary Steenburgen are in it), truly embodies the noir genre down to their very bones.

This is a really fun movie and well worth the watch.

Grade: B+

***

Rose Plays Julie

This is an emotional drama from Ireland about a young woman, Rose (Ann Skelly), finding out about her birth origins. Adopted at birth, Rose contacts her birth mother, Ellen (Orla Brady). After a little light stalking on Rose's part, Ellen agrees to talk to her about her origins. It turns out that Ellen was raped and became pregnant as a result. She couldn't go through with an abortion, so she had Rose (named Julie at birth) and put her up for adoption.

Rose then becomes obsessed with finding her bio father, who turns out to be a very successful archeologist. Rose tracks down Peter (Aidan Gillen) and is disturbed to find out that he is "living life as though nothing happened". Simply by talking to Peter, she is able to get close to him because Peter is still very much a predator. But Rose, now donning a wig and going by "Julie", has some lethal plans for Peter.

One random thing: this whole movie I was like "who is the guy who plays Peter?? He looks SO familiar!" Turns out it's the same actor who played Littlefinger on Game of Thrones. He's perfect for the role of the attractive and covertly violent predator.

Rose Plays Julie is more heavy on the emotions than on the violence, though there is indeed violence. It's not an I Spit on Your Grave or Last House on the Left type rape-revenge movie. It's much more subtle and thoughtful and, at it's heart, is about a woman reconnecting with her mother. Only recommended for people who are ok with themes of rape and violence.

Grade: B

***

The Vigil

The Vigil is an interesting and unique horror film about a man, Yakov (Dave Davis), who lives in Brooklyn and has recently left the Orthodox Jewish community. He is in a very vulnerable position, both in terms of culture (he is learning how to live outside the very conservative and cloistered community he grew up in) and in terms of finances. 

In order to make rent on time, he takes a gig as a shomer, which is a person who keeps vigil over a dead body before it is buried. A prominent man, Ruben Litvak, who was a Holocaust survivor, has died and his wife who is in the early stages of dementia, cannot keep vigil. So Yakov agrees to do it for a few hundred bucks.

Well, it turns out that some kind of demonic or ghostly entity attached itself to Ruben in life and is now haunting his home. This leads to some excellent scares throughout the movie as Yakov keeps seeing shadows and other creepy things throughout the house. It turns out that this entity is a Mazzik--a malevolent spirit that attaches itself to people who are vulnerable. It attached itself to Ruben when he was forced to kill a girl while in a concentration camp...and now that its host is dead, it's looking for another vulnerable person to haunt.

The Vigil mines Jewish culture and folklore for inspiration. I can't tell you if it's done in a way that honors Jewish people and culture rather than exploits them since I myself am not Jewish (and I don't think the director is Jewish either, but I'm not sure). But I can say that it's a very solid horror film. The imagery is very frightening without being gory or gross, and I liked how Yakov's unique situation (being in limbo between two cultures) added a lot of dimension to his character and his motivations.

Grade: B

***

Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar

This is a strange little comedy directed by Josh Greenbaum and written by (and starring) Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo. It's about two Nebraskan women (the titular Barb [Mumulo] and Star [Wiig]) who, despite being middle-aged, have never left their tiny, midwestern town. So after hearing about a friend's trip to Vista Del Mar, Florida, they decide to book a trip themselves.

Now, that plot alone could carry the movie. But there is a very strange b-plot where a woman, Sharon Fisherman (also played by Wiig), develops a strain of venomous mosquitos that will kill anyone they bite. She plans to unleash the deadly insects onto the citizens of Vista Del Mar during an annual seafood festival. Why? Revenge, of course.

So, Sharon's henchman/boyfriend, Edgar (Jamie Dornan, a joy in this absurdist comedic role), is scoping out Vista Del Mar ahead of the mosquito doomsday, and ends up partying with (and sleeping with) both Barb and Star. Edgar's budding relationship with Star makes him reconsider being the evil henchman to a woman he loves who clearly doesn't love him back.

Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar is no Bridesmaids, but it is pretty funny. Dornan, who usually plays psychopaths (The Fall) or kinky assholes (Fifty Shades of Grey) goes all in playing against type as a bad guy with a secret heart of gold. He even has his own musical number! 

Barb and Star won't blow your socks off, but it's worth a watch.

Grade: B

***

Archive 81

Archive 81 had a lot of promise, but didn't quite pan out the way I hoped. Starring the magnetic Mamoudou Athie as Dan Turner, a film archivist who is hired to restore a collection of video tapes burned in a fire, Archive 81 has been compared to The Ring, Rosemary's Baby, and other horror films that delve into the occult and/or ghostly media. 

The tapes that Dan restores were filmed by a young woman named Melody Pendras (Dina Shihabi) in 1994. Melody is doing an oral history project on the Visser building. It turns out that this building eventually burned down, which is why the tapes have the fire damage. Dan is intimately familiar with such tragedies as his house burned down when he was a kid, killing his parents and sister. Dan is disturbed to see that his own father, a psychiatrist, pops up in the videos. And he wonders why the fuck he was chosen to restore these tapes.

Archive 81 is good, if convoluted. There are seances, cults, demons coming through TVs, paranoia, drugs, and more. I do think the series would have benefited from a tighter focus and a clearer story. It's hard to tell what the point was by the end of the 8 episodes (which definitely leave room open for another season). I wasn't really left with a message that I could digest. So I'll just say that Archive 81 is good, but not great.

Grade: B

***

Kingdom

Created by controversial (yet genius, in my opinion) filmmaker Lars von Trier, Kingdom is a Danish television series about a haunted hospital. It's usually talked about as if it's a horror series, but it's actually closer to a comedy/soap opera with a few light scares. 

I only watched the first season, which is 4 episodes, but man, enough wacky shit happens in just over 4 hours that I felt pretty satisfied by the end of it. The show follows various doctors and patients of Kingdom Hospital. An elderly woman keeps checking herself into the hospital (always with questionable symptoms) so she can help other patients commune with the dead. A doctor is pregnant with a fetus that grows at about 10x the normal rate, making her look 30 weeks pregnant in only 11 weeks. An insanely arrogant visiting neurosurgeon from Sweden makes life hell for everyone, but is still inducted into an "Old Boys" type society of doctors despite being a shitty surgeon and a shittier human being. A resident steals a corpse's head. You know, #JustHauntedHospitalThings

And at the end of each episode, von Trier himself comes out in a tuxedo during the closing credits to muse over what we just watched and the nature of life and death. I absolutely lost it the first time this happened and it was never not hilarious. Lars von Trier is basically if an internet troll was also a very talented--if deeply troubled--filmmaker. Y'all don't have to love him, because I love him enough for all of us. Even when he's on his bullshit, which is all the time.

Grade: B+

***

Love Machine

 Movies: I'm Your Man (2021)

Maria Schrader's film I'm Your Man, much like Spike Jonze's Her, explores the concept of a human having a relationship with a computer. Although the computer is much more attractive in I'm Your Man.

Alma, played by Maren Eggert, is an archaeologist who specializes in researching instances of poetry and metaphors in ancient cuneiform. She's also single as a pringle and NOT ready to mingle. She's married to her work. However, her boss is on the ethics committee for a new technology: humanoid robots who are programmed to be ideal life partners for humans. He asks Alma to test one of the robots out for three weeks and write him a review. In exchange, he'll grant her funding for a trip to Chicago for her research (just LOL at this guy serving on an ethics committee and bribing his underling into testing a sex robot out).

Alma reluctantly agrees and is introduced to Tom (Dan Stevens), programmed to be her perfect partner in every way, right down to the fact that he speaks German with an English accent because Alma likes men who are a little foreign...but just a little.

Hijinks obviously ensue. Alma is put off by how perfect Tom is (he tidies her apartment and makes a huge breakfast their first morning together) and yet how "off " he is (he can recite poems by Rilke at the drop of a hat, but he doesn't understand sarcasm or metaphors). One night after getting drunk, Alma yells at Tom and throws wine on him, and then kisses him and tried to sleep with him...but he simply puts Alma to bed and refuses to have sex with her, despite her screeches of "I command you to stay! You were built for me!". Clearly, even though Tom is a robot, he's not Alma's slave and he is able to make "the best" decision in the moment, even if it's not what Alma wants.

The film plays out like a rom-com, but the subtext of the movie is much, much deeper and doesn't really take a stance on whether or not humanoid companions would be good or bad for humans.

(ending spoilers)

***

***

I found the final 20 minutes to be especially interesting in how contradictory the movie's message seems to be. Alma breaks up with Tom and makes him leave. Later that night, she gives a lecture and meets an older man with a companion robot. The man explains to Alma that all his life, people seemed to "run from him" and not treat him kindly, and he didn't know if it was his looks or pheromones or what. But now this robot has made him so happy and given him love and kindness no human ever did. The female robot looks at him and says "you deserve to be treated kindly". It's a very sweet moment.

...and then Alma writes her evaluation to her boss, warning him that humanoid robots would NOT be good for society and would create a "society of addicts" who would be wary and depressed after having all their needs met at the push of a button.

...and then she goes and finds Tom. End of movie.

Watching it, I felt mad at Alma for writing that negative review, which might lead to that old man losing his robot companion...but I also AGREED with assessment of the robots. But also, like, I kinda disagreed! I love movies that make me feel this way (like Midsommar), where I kind of see both sides to something. I don't always like it when a concept is spoonfed as either "good" or "bad" to me. I was also annoyed at Alma being a hypocrite and going after Tom...but I also understood! So many conflicting feelings!

***

***

/Spoilers

I really respected that Schrader captured the undeniable and innate ambiguity in the issue at the heart of the movie. It's not so much a question of CAN a human love a robot (to me, that answer is obviously yes, since humans can love many non-human and even non-animal things) but rather, would it be healthy for a person to be given their ideal partner and wouldn't doing so make it easy for people to never change, never improve, and never question themselves? Relationships can bring out the worst in us, but they can also inspire us to be better. I know that in the best relationships I've had, I've genuinely wanted to be a better version of myself for the other person--more loving, more kind, more patient. If my partner were a robot tailored to my needs, why would I ever seek to improve?

But on the other hand...wouldn't such robots help prevent loneliness and even reduce instances of suicide? Hmmm...no easy answers to be had here!

The only easy answer is to watch this movie! I can't recommend it enough. I'm You Man is funny, thought-provoking, sweet, and poetic. Never schmaltzy or preachy. It's just a really great film that makes you ponder the nature of love and what makes a human, well, human.

Grade: A 

2021: The Best and the Rest (BONUS: Best of 2020 too!!)

Normally, around mid-to-late January, I post my "The Best and the Rest" of the year. Last year I did not do this because 2020 was so wacky and I saw so few recently released movies.

In 2021, I started going back to the theatres around July (fully vaxxed!) and so even though 2021 was not the most awesome year for movies (in my opinion) I think I have enough content to do a "Best of" for 2021.

But since I'm looking back over alllll the movies I watched (in theatres or On Demand) this year, I figured why the fuck not go back another year and have a "Best of" for 2020 as well? It might be a small list, but that's ok!

So here it is folks: The Best and the Rest of 2021 AND 2020. Enjoy!

***

My top 8 movies of 2021 + honorable mentions:

8. Pig

Michael Sarnoski's Pig is a poetic film that explores how grief can cut us off from other people. Nicolas Cage plays Rob Feld, a once celebrated chef who has become a recluse living in the woods after his wife's death. His only companion is a truffle-hunting pig. But when that pig is stolen, Rob has to emerge from his cocoon of loneliness and interact with society once again. 

Pig is a strange film filled with tender moments that show how all of the emphasis we put on things like work ethic, talent, money, and power are just a facade we use to cover up scary and unsightly emotions that we SHOULD be actively processing and working through. It is only by facing the potential loss of his porcine friend that Rob can finally accept and move on from the loss of his wife. A beautiful, delicate film.

7. Saint Maud

Directed by Rose Glass, Saint Maud is a horror film about the depths some people will go to fulfill what they feel is God's will. Private palliative care nurse Maud (a glorious Morfydd Clark) is a devout Catholic who literally begs God to show her His will. She takes up an assignment to care for Amanda (Jennifer Ehle), once a gifted dancer and now dying of lymphoma. When Amanda reveals that she is an atheist, but shows interest in Maud's religious beliefs, Maud takes this as a sign that her purpose is to save Amanda's soul before she passes away.

Predictably, this does not go as planned and, in fact, drives a wedge between Maud and Amanda. Amanda seems almost cruel at times: mocking Maud's religion in front of other people and flaunting (or maybe simply openly enjoying) her erotic dalliances with a female sex worker. However, it is Maud who clearly oversteps her boundaries and ends up spiraling into religiously motivated self-harm.

I really loved the nuances of Saint Maud. It's hard not to feel sympathy for the poor girl, who is clearly filled with all the wrong things (shame, self-loathing) and not enough of the right things (purpose, balance). The film teases whether Maud's visions of God and interactions with God are really happening or just all in her head, which touches on the greater question of whether ALL human interactions with God are just in our confused, desperate human minds. Even the final frame of the film, which is probably the most haunting single second of film I saw this year, can be read ambiguously. I highly recommend this excellent psychological horror film.

6) The French Dispatch

Though not Wes Anderson's best film, The French Dispatch merits a place on this list because the fact of the matter is that even the crappiest WA movie is going to be better than 70% of all movies released this year anyway. The director's color-drenched palette, attention to minute detail, and cast of beloved actors will always be a pleasure to watch over and over again.

Anderson's latest takes place in the small (fictional) town of Ennui, France, where a group of American writers and journalists work to put together the final issue of The French Dispatch of the Liberty, Kansas Evening Sun. Their founding editor, Arthur Howitzer, Jr. (Bill Murray), has passed and this will be their final publication. The film is actually a series of short films tied together with the frame story of the creation of this concluding issue. 

Of the four short films, easily the best is the last one: "The Private Dining Room of the Police Commissioner", which stars Jeffrey Wright as Roebuck Wright, a character who is a clear homage to James Baldwin. Wright is a food writer about to partake in a delectable dinner alongside The Commissaire of Ennui (Mathieu Amalric). However, the dinner is interrupted when it is discovered that the Commissaire's son has been abducted by a gang of criminals and held for ransom. This final chapter in the movie is the funniest and the most emotional. 

5) The Power of the Dog

This tense Western drama is Jane Campion's first feature-length film in 12 years, and what a return it is! The film stars Benedict Cumberbatch and Jesse Plemmons as Phil and George Burbank, wealthy, ranch-owning brothers in 1920s Montana. The Burbank brothers could not be more different: George is soft, genteel, and gentle. Phil is hard, crude, and cruel. When the brothers and the ranch hands they work with stop at an inn run by widow Rose (Kirsten Dunst) and her effeminate teenage son, Peter (Kodi Smit-McPhee), Phil delights in mocking Peter's lisp and the fact that he made paper flowers as table decorations. George later comforts Rose as she weeps in the kitchen. Not long after, George and Rose are married.

This is a movie where the whole time you're waiting for violence to break out. Phil's personality seems ripe for sadism and I kept waiting for him to do something monstrous like assault Rose or beat up Peter...but I can tell sensitive viewers that the only thing to be wary of in this movie is the depiction of animal violence (this DOES take place on a 1920s ranch, so seeing Phil whip a horse and castrate a bull is, well, to be expected). I will say that appearances can be deceiving, and that Phil's over-the-top masculine bluster and arrogance may be what blinds him to real danger that lurks under his nose...

4) Zola

Zola was the first movie I saw in theatres since March of 2020, so it holds a special place in my heart. It's also a fucking wild ride. Directed by Janicza Bravo and based on a series of tweets from Aziah "Zola" King, the film follows Zola (Taylour Paige), a waitress and sometimes-stripper who befriends Stefani (Riley Keough), also a sometimes-stripper. The two women form an intense and instant bond that, frankly, doesn't bode well. Stefani convinces Zola to take a "hoe trip" down to Tampa, Florida where they'll spend a weekend dancing in a particular club where Stefani claims that can make up to $5,000 a night.

The first sign of trouble is when Zola gets in the car driven by Stefani's "roommate", a man whose name we don't find out until over halfway through the movie. Played with panache by Colman Domingo, this man turns out to be Stefani's pimp. After Stefani and Zola finish dancing, they find out that he has placed an ad on Backpage.com offering men, well, you know. When this turn of events was revealed, I leaned over to my boyfriend and whispered "Oh, this is a horror movie."

Well, not quite. But if you're of the female or femme persuasion, you'll probably have a pretty specific set of feelings watching Zola and waiting for things to get real ugly. Thank god, it never gets quite that dark, but from the moment this man reveals his true nature, Zola is a rollercoaster ride of a movie--more dark comedy than thriller, but still tense and nerve-wracking nonetheless.

Zola is one of the most underrated films of the year and I highly recommend it.

3) Dune

Dune is easily the most engrossing film I saw this year, as well as the most visually stunning. While other films might be "better" in terms of acting or writing, Dune is the one that made me forget that time was passing. This adaptation of Frank Herbert's classic speculative fiction novel is directed by Denis Villeneuve and has a very "2021" cast: Timothee Chalamet, Zendaya, and Oscar Isaacs are just very "in" right now. Chalamet really captures that "reluctant Chosen One" vibe as Paul Atreides, the son of a Duke and a witch, who is coming into both political power as well as supernatural abilities.

I'm not going to give a run-down of the plot, which is honestly pretty standard sci-fic epic stuff involving warring factions fighting over a valuable planet, I'll just name a couple scenes or aspects of the film I particularly enjoyed:

• The cinematography was awe-inducing to the point of terror. I saw this movie on the big screen and, honestly, it's a rare movie I would have shelled out to see in IMAX. The big-ass spaceships, the sandworms, and even the creepiness of Baron Harkonnen were not just visually stunning, they were straight-up scary! Like Zola, Dune is another non-horror horror movie in many ways.
• The world-building, and in particular the descriptions of how the Fremen survive on their sandworm-infested desert planet.
• The "box of pain" scene and the scene where the Duke of Atreides is captured by House Harkonnen. Both of these scenes went beyond sci-fi spectacles to capture the actual emotions of the characters. The box of pain scene also led to this meme, which is priceless:

2) Annette 

Annette is a weird fuckin' movie. It's a Greek tragedy rock opera. It elicited so many different feelings in me: laughter, sadness, anger, horniness, confusion, and cringey-ness/embarrassment. There's a puppet-baby that sings. Howard from The Big Bang Theory is in it. I could go on.

Directed by Leos Carax, who is known for his visionary films, Annette is about the relationship between aggressive, masculine comedian Henry McHenry (Adam Driver) and elegant, delicate opera singer Ann Defrasnoux (Marion Cotillard). The two are a classic star-crossed pair who seem totally wrong for each other, yet are drawn to one another (the intense sexual chemistry might have something to do with that). They have a daughter, Annette (the aforementioned puppet), and Ann's career skyrockets as Henry's flails. Henry becomes an alcoholic, which inadvertently leads to an accident that causes Ann's death.

After Ann dies, Annette develops an unusual talent: she has her mother's astonishing singing voice. Henry, being The Worst, immediately exploit's the tot's talent for money, much to the consternation of Ann's musical Accompanist (Simon Helberg) and secret lover, who may or may not be Annette's real father.

See what I mean by Greek tragedy? 

The music, which is written by the musical duo Sparks and performed by the actors, is pretty good, especially the opening song "May We Start" and Ann and Henry's duet "We Love Each Other So Much". I regret not seeing the film in the theatre, where I think it would have made even more of an impact on me. But made an impact it did, and I couldn't stop thinking about weeks later. 

1) Bo Burnham: Inside 

Look, I know that this is a Netflix comedy special and not a "movie" per se, but Inside was, hands down, the best piece of non-episodic media I watched in 2021. I'm calling it a movie. 

Over the next 5, 10, 20 years, we're going to be looking back at these plague years and certainly movies and TV will reflect the unique awfulness that is the COVID-19 pandemic. But with Bo Burnham's masterpiece, the reflection is coming from inside the house, so to speak. He captured the feeling of the pandemic specifically and the feeling of living in the 2020s more broadly. With gentle pokes at Instagram, harder prods at Jeff Bezos, and downright depressing lamentations about climate change, Bo Burnham's Inside is about so much more than being stuck at home: it's about how to go on living in "the end times".

Are we in the "end times"? Fuck if I know. People always think it's the end of the world. The disciples of Jesus thought the dude was literally coming back any day now after he died. I'm sure when Hitler rose to power, people thought this would surely be the end. Sure, "things are different this time". Climate change suggests that our species will be beset with constant hurricanes, blizzards, heat waves, tsunamis, and other natural disasters that will eat away at the edges of our planet, killing the poorest and most vulnerable first before turning on those of us more fortunate. The only survivors will be billionaires who escape in their dick-rockets to planets afar. Can you believe that after 300,000 years of human existence, Elon fucking Musk is going to be repopulating the human race? ELON MUSK. It doesn't bear thinking about. 

But Bo Burnham dares to think about it, and sing about it. His songs range from the mundanity of sexting to the profundity of "That Funny Feeling". Yeah, I know he's a white privileged guy who jokes about having done nothing by age 30, when in fact he directed an award-winning film at age 27, but I truly, in my soul, think that Inside is a work of genius. Like, I know it sounds cheesy to make proclamations like that, but sometimes a movie or book or other piece of media just captures the fucking zeitgeist, ya know? And those aren't always the "best" or most "critically acclaimed" pieces of media, but they're something more than that: they're the beating heart of a moment in our shared history.

Inside is funny, it's beautifully filmed, and it's haunting. The fact that it's gentle, not cruel or ugly in the slightest, only makes its wounding touch feel all that more painful and poignant.

***

Honorable mentions: 

Judas and the Black Messiah, The Green Knight, Licorice Pizza

***

My top 7 movies of 2020* + honorable mentions

*Note: some of these movies were technically released in 2019, but either I saw them in the theatre in (early) 2020 or they were released on streaming in 2020 and that was the first time I saw them. 

7) Borat Subsequent Moviefilm 

I mean, do I even need to explain why this movie made this list?

Oh, I do? Well, for one thing, I watched it three times within two weeks after it was released. It's downright hilarious, even if the cringe comedy made me want to hide under a blanket during some scenes. And it's actually a much kinder, gentler version of Borat, even as it mocks its subjects. 

Look, I didn't see a lot of new movies in 2020, so Sasha Baron Cohen's over-the-top mockumentary gets a place of honor here. And Maria Bakalova's performance as Borat's daughter, Tutar, is a work of comedic genius.

6) Portrait of a Lady on Fire 

One of the inspirations for the SNL skit "Lesbian Period Drama", Portrait of a Lady on Fire is indeed a slow burn. In the late 1700s, artist Marianne (Noemie Merlant) is commissioned to paint a portrait of Heloise (Adele Haenel), who is preparing to get married to a nobleman. This isn't a marriage of love, but one of duty. After Heloise's mother leaves for an extended period of time, the two women become closer and closer.

And then they fuck, and then Heloise has to get married. I mean, that's basically the movie. It's really more about atmosphere than plot. But boy, is that atmosphere thick and gorgeous. And even though the conclusion is foregone, the film still packs an emotional punch, especially the final scene. 

5) The Invisible Man

Dropping into theatres in February of 2020, Leigh Whannell's adaptation of H.G. Wells' classic novel was a very happy surprise. This take on the titular invisible man is very loosely inspired by the novel and imagines the character of Griffin as Adrian Griffin (Oliver Jackson-Cohen), a wealthy scientist and a gaslighting, abusive asshole to his girlfriend Cecilia (Elisabeth Moss). The movie opens during a tense, late-night escape as Cecilia drugs Adrian and manages to just barely make it out of their shared mansion and to her sister's car. A few weeks later, Cecilia receives word that Adrian is dead and left a significant amount of money to her...with the stipulation that she doesn't engage in any criminal activity. Hmmmm...

When Cecilia starts seeing things and feeling a strange presence, her sister and close friends think that she is just mentally unwell after escaping a very traumatic situation. But knowing that Adrian's field was optics, Cecilia believes that Adrian has faked his own death and is somehow spying on her. Well, it isn't long before Cecilia "engages in criminal activity"...or does she!? Ending up in an institution for the criminally insane, Cecilia must fight back against an invisible foe who is now more dangerous than ever.

The Invisible Man is an excellent horror-thriller and the modern take on the invisible man as an abusive boyfriend is the perfect way to explore how gaslighting works and how abusers can isolate their victims and not only make them appear "crazy" to other people--but to the victims themselves. 

4) Palm Springs 

What could have been a mediocre Groundhog Day rip-off turned out to be a wildly entertaining film that takes the time-loop concept and says "ok, but what if you were stuck living the same day with someone hot who you liked?" Andy Samberg plays Nyles, who finds himself stuck in a time loop while attending a wedding in Palm Springs. After hooking up with the bride's sister, Sarah (Cristin Milioti), Nyles inadvertently gets Sarah stuck in the loop as well. 

After patiently waiting for Sarah to get past the "disbelief" stage, the "blind rage" phase, and the "finding out you're unable to kill yourself in a time loop" phase, Nyles and Sarah start to have some really good times and even...fall in love. But when Sarah realizes that there is a scientific way out of the time loop, Nyles has to choose between his comfortable life living a beautiful, booze-filled day over and over in Palm Springs, but without the woman he loves, and possibly dying in an attempt to escape.

Folks have pointed out that unlike Groundhog Day, there is no moral way out of the loop. The characters literally have to use physics to escape, which is no easy feat. I really liked how at its core, Palm Springs is about stagnancy and whether it's better to live a comfortable life where nothing happens, or to take a chance on something greater but possibly get hurt.

3) Blow the Man Down

Blow the Man Down is clever, fun, female-fronted film that came out of nowhere in 2020. Morgan Saylor and Sophie Lowe play Mary Beth and Priscilla Connolly, sisters living in a fishing town in Maine who have just lost their mother and are about to lose their fishmonger business as well.

When Mary Beth kills a man in self-defense and discovers $50,000 in his home, she feels that their money problems have been solved. Level-headed sister Priscilla is not so sure. It turns out that the money belongs to Enid Nora Devlin (Margo Martindale, just perfect in this role), the owner of a brothel. And she wants it back. Plus, there's the whole dead body issue to deal with.

Blow the Man Down reminds me of those cozy mysteries people love that always seem to take place in a small town with lots of local color. Though the film is most certainly rated R, it walks an interesting line between cozy and dark. The Connolly sisters' mother was part of a group of matriarchs (played by some legendary actresses, including the aforementioned Martindale, June Squibb, Annette O'Toole, and Marceline Hugot) who rule the town and add to the "cozy" atmosphere. But between multiple deaths, blackmail, and prostitution, this movie ain't for kids. 

2) Parasite 

Ok, so a couple things. First of all Parasite *technically* came out in 2019, and it even won Best Picture for the 2019 Academy Awards. However, I didn't see it until January 2020 and I made my "Best of 2019" list before I saw it, so it didn't make the cut for that list and I can't stand for it to not be on ANY of my "Best of" lists, so it's going here.

Second, Parasite is a better movie than Promising Young Woman, so I feel weird putting it in second place...but I also feel weird putting it in first place because it's DEFINITELY a 2019 movie and Promising Young Woman is DEFINITELY a 2020 film. In any case, just know that I loved Parasite and it is worthy to be at the top of the list.

Bong Joon-Ho's Parasite is about class, money, and what people will do to survive. The film transcends categorization--it's a drama, a comedy, a horror movie, and a thriller. Although the plot is simple enough--a poor family all take positions at a rich family's home without the rich family knowing that the poor family is, well, a family--Parasite is one of the most unique, clever, and gut-wrenching films I've seen. The struggling Kim family's slow takeover of the wealthy Park family is insidious and creepy--not only do they lie and mislead the Parks, they also sabotage the current staff who work for the Parks in order to take over their places. Yet you can't help but empathize with and even admire the Kims in their willingness to do what they need to survive. Plus, the Parks are rich so it's easy to kind of hate them, even though they're not inherently bad people. 

Parasite pokes at that uncomfortable place inside of us that wants there to be a villain when the actual villain is...society itself. Dun dun dun! It's a film that says "don't hate the player, hate the game". And it's just a pleasure to watch the whole thing unfold, especially in the second half when a HUGE TWIST occurs (there were audible gasps in the theatre, and I'm pretty sure I heard someone say "whaaaaaaattt??" when the twist is revealed). 

Do yourself a favor and watch Parasite if you haven't already. It definitely deserved that Oscar.

1) Promising Young Woman

Emerald Fennell's Promising Young Woman disappointed and upset many viewers. It was advertised as a "fun" rape-revenge film in which Cassandra (Carey Mulligan) pretends to be drunk, lets strange men in bars take her home, and then as they go in for a lil' date rape reveal that she was sober the whole time! When I watched the preview I wondered "What does she do next? Does she cut their dicks off!?" 

She does not cut their dicks off, and in fact this whole section of the movie is much shorter than the preview would lead you to think. Promising Young Woman is as much about depression and the inability to move past grief as it is about revenge. It's a movie that doesn't strive to make anyone feel comfortable. And you know what? Good. Movies that tackle rape don't owe us "good" heroines and movies about revenge don't owe us a conclusion we get to feel good about. 

The main problems people had with PYW is that 1) Cassie puts other women in harms way in her quest for revenge and 2) (SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!!!!) 

(SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!)

Cassie is killed during her final act of revenge.

This REALLY upset some viewers as it suggested that Cassie had to die for the bad guys to be punished. Others scoffed at the idea that the bad guys WOULD be punished at all. So, in the end, we are left with a slightly unsatisfied feeling.

Good. This is a movie about rape culture. It should be unsatisfying and it should feel uncomfortable. If Cassie had been a perfect heroine who *only* hurt the bad guys and did it in a perfectly moral way and triumphed in the end...that would certainly be a satisfying movie! But it wouldn't be real. 

Promising Young Woman takes us to some dark places. Carey Mulligan is superb as Cassie Thomas, a woman who dropped out of medical school after her friend, Nina, was gang-raped and then killed herself. She is now a 30 year old living with her parents and working at a coffee shop. Even Nina's mom tells Cassie to "move on". While the living at home and working a job that probably pays shit is sad, but not the end of the world, Cassie's lack of friends reveal that this isn't just a temporary setback. This is complicated grief. This is depression. And when Cassie starts seeing the baby-faced, super nice Ryan (Bo Burnham, born the play this role), we can't help but hope that this may be a turning point for her.

But it's never that easy right? There's a scene where Cassie watches a video of Nina's rape that she didn't know existed before. Fortunately, the viewers can't see this video, but we can hear the voices of the men involved. So our hearts drop, just as Cassie's does, when we hear Ryan's voice on that video. The look on Carey Mulligan's face--the "I'm disappointed, but I'm not surprised" look--just breaks our hearts. 

It's no surprise that Cassie's next move is suicide by frat boy. As she walks to the bachelor party of Nina's rapist, dressed in a sexy nurse outfit, we know that her self-preservation instinct is gone. Because she's walking into a den of predators who see her as a pair of tits and three holes. Because that's how these kind of men think. 

Promising Young Woman is an electric film that leaves a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach. It's a film that elicits the "is it ok to laugh at this?" feeling. And it is ok to laugh at this, because when it comes to rape culture, sometimes you gotta laugh to keep from screaming. And I think that's also what makes A Promising Young Woman the perfect film for the laugh/scream year that was 2020.

***

Honorable mentions: Emma., Host, The Devil All the Time

Stuff I watched in...December 2021, pt. 2

Pig

Pig is such a strange and tender movie. Starring Nic Cage as Rob Feld, a once incredibly famous and well-respected chef in Portland, OR turned recluse living in the woods with his truffle-hunting pig, I fully expected this movie to be way crazier and violent than it actually was. I just associate Cage with batshit crazy performances. And while indeed this movie is a little weird, it's actually a very non-violent and peaceful meditation on grief and loss.

After Rob's prized pig is stolen, he enlists the help of Amir (Alex Wolff), the young man who buys truffles off of Rob, to help him track her down. The two men engage in a series of melancholic misadventures in pursuit of the missing pig. The film gently lampoons the snobbish restaurant culture of Portland while still acknowledging the immense power food has to create nostalgia in us, and to both hurt and heal us. 

I wouldn't say that I was as enamored with Pig as much as some folks were, but it is a very solid film and I highly recommend it. It's also a reminder that Nic Cage is, in fact, an excellent actor.

Grade: B+

***

Being the Ricardos

I kind of expected to hate this Aaron Sorkin written and directed film, but its charm won me over. Being the Ricardos covers one week in the life of Lucille Ball (Nicole Kidman) and Desi Arnaz (Javier Bardem). It's a hell of a week--Lucy has been accused by the media of being a communist, Lucy and Desi have found out that they're expecting their second child (which throws a monkey wrench into their shooting schedule), and Lucy strongly suspects that Desi is cheating on her.

There has been a lot of criticism thrown at this movie--namely that it's mostly a vehicle for Sorkin to peacock his witty dialogue, and also that both Kidman and Bardem only bear a passing resemblance to the real life people they're playing. I mean, whatever. I haven't watched enough I Love Lucy to judge whether or not Kidman hits the mark, but I will say that sometimes picking a less famous actor for a role allows the character to shine a bit more. In other words: I did not see Lucille Ball in this movie; I saw Nicole Kidman in a red wig. And Javier Bardem looks nothing like Desi Arnaz (he's also Spanish, not Cuban, but potato-papa I guess). 

Despite the imperfections, Being the Ricardos is a cute, mostly pleasant film with a great cast of actors (JK Simmons, Nina Ariande, Alia Shawkat, and Tony Hale round out the cast) that serves as a reminder of how shitty and conformist the 1950s were. It's also a really good movie to watch with your parents.

Grade: B

***

Shiva Baby

A tense comedy, Shiva Baby follows Danielle (Rachel Sennott in an excellent breakout performance), a Jewish woman in her early 20s who is Sugar Babying for money. She tells Max (Danny Deferrari), her sugar daddy, that she's going to use the money he gives her to go to law school.

She then goes to a shiva observance with her parents, Joel (Fred Melamed) and Debbie (Polly Draper), only to run into...Max. Through conversation with her parents, he finds out that Danielle is NOT planning to go to law school and that her parents subsidize her directionless lifestyle. Danielle finds out that Max is married and has an infant daughter. So, basically, their secrets are revealed to one another.

Additionally, Danielle has to deal with seeing her ex-girlfriend, Maya, who is much more accomplished than Danielle and rubs it in Danielle's face. 

Shiva Baby is very much a Jewish comedy, although certainly anyone regardless of race, religion, or creed can relate to it: directionless young people and the older adults in their lives asking them what they're going to do, if they're dating anyone, have they lost weight, have they gained weight...and on and on. Dorky Dads who are always losing their phones, Meddling Moms asking passive-aggressive questions. This is the human experience, people. This is the stuff of life!

Shiva Baby is a very good movie, though you have to have a certain level of tolerance for awkward and tense situations. But if you can stand your asshole being clenched for most of the movie, it's well worth it.

Grade: B+

***

Out of the Furnace

Directed by Scott Cooper, Out of the Furnace is drenched in testosterone. Specifically, white blue collar testosterone. Christian Bale plays Russell Baze, a steelworker whose younger brother, Rodney (Casey Affleck), is a ne'er do well type who can't/doesn't want to hold down a job and instead participates in fistfights to earn money, which he then pisses away gambling.

When Rodney gets in major trouble with a sociopathic drug dealer, Harlan DeGroat (Woody Harrelson, completely unhinged and terrifying), Russell has to yet again step up and fight his brothers' battles.

Although Out of the Furnace is not a bad movie, it's quite unpleasant and at times boring. I sometimes really like super-masculine movies (The Departed comes to mind), but this one was just meh. Not to mention that both Casey Affleck and Christian Bale seem like real assholes in real life...it's not enough to make me NOT watch a movie I want to see, but it doesn't really help a not-great movie be any better.

You're good to skip this one.

Grade: B-

***

The Power

The Power is an underrated, little known horror film from this past year. Taking place in London in 1974, during trade union protests which led to a need for energy conservation, The Power is about, well, power--both power as in electricity and power as in who has it and who doesn't have it.

Val (Rose Williams) is a young nurse on her first day at a London hospital. She faces off against a strict Matron, a bitchy colleague whom she knew in school, and creepy men who act completely inappropriately. As if that isn't enough stress, Val is ordered to work the "dark shift" at night, when the power will be shut off and only a few generators will provide needed electricity for patients who can't physically leave the hospital. I'm sure you can imagine the potential for creepiness and jump scares in a situation like that.

Throughout the movie, there are hints about Val's past: she was an orphan and was called "Dirty Brown" by her classmates. She is terrified of the dark because of something that happened to her as a child in a dark closet. It doesn't take much to understand the subtext of this movie: men who take advantage of young girls who have no one to defend them have all the power. That is, until they don't.

If you like movies about vengeful entities where sins of the past are punished, The Power is one to check out.

Grade: B

***

The Talented Mr. Ripley 

This was a rewatch for me and I'm so glad I did! I haven't watched The Talented Mr. Ripley since college or grad school--so over 10 years, easily. Not only does it have one of the most beautiful, talented casts in all of movie history (Jude Law, Gwyneth Paltrow, Matt Damn, Cate Blanchett, and Philip Seymour Hoffman), the film is SO GOOD. It's a beautifully filmed neo-noir about a young sociopath named Tom Ripley (Damon), a man who comes off as a dweeb but who is incredibly skillful at manipulating people. He meets the parents of Dickie Greenleaf (Law) and pretends that he knew Dickie at Princeton (he actually never met Dickie in his life and never went to Princeton). Dickie's parents tell him that Dick is living in Italy doing fuck all and they want him to come home and work for the family business. They'll pay Tom to travel over there and convince Dickie to come home.

When Tom meets Dickie and his girlfriend, Marge (Paltrow), he quickly convinces them that he's legit and they all become friends and party their fucking asses off in Italy. But it's not long before Dickie starts to find Tom creepy--it doesn't help that Tom practically salivates every time he looks at Dickie. As Dickie pulls away, Tom becomes more desperate in his ruse until the inevitable happens...and that's only halfway through the movie.

The Talented Mr. Ripley is gay as hell, and I would expect no less from the woman who created the character, Patricia Highsmith. And I guess now that I think about it, the novel and film do follow that tradition of depicting queer people as violent, lying villains. That could turn some people off, but I kind of like it when the queer people are the killers instead of the prey. True liberation means that queer people don't need to be pigeonholed as either saints or sinners. In any case, there's a lot of chiseled abs and sinewy, suntanned male bodies in this movie, so if that's your thing...

Grade: A+

Sweet and Salty

 Movies: Licorice Pizza

Director Paul Thomas Anderson is really not the director for me...and yet...I really WANT him to be the director for me. Boogie Nights is the only movie he's directed that I genuinely LOVE, and it took multiple viewings to get there. I've also seen Punch-Drunk Love, Magnolia, There Will Be Blood, The Master, and Phantom Thread. These are all excellent films. But they're hard to warm up to. They're mostly about men, specifically men who range from immature to hard-to-love to straight-up sociopathic. PTA's movies read to me as horror films masquerading as drama. And I like horror, but there is something incredibly unsettling about all his films that makes them very uncomfortable to watch.

PTA's latest, Licorice Pizza, seems like an easy movie to love. Set in 1973 in the San Fernando Valley, the film focuses on the friendship between 25 year old Alana (Alana Haim, best known for being a member of Haim) and 15-going on-16 year old Gary Valentine (Cooper Hoffman, son of late, great Philip Seymour Hoffman). The two meet as Gary is getting his high school picture taken--Alana works for the company that takes the photos. They engage in a natural, easy banter. It's clear that Gary has a crush on Alana, who informs him that it would be "illegal" for them to be together.

The rest of the film chronicles their adventures separately and apart. Gary is a child actor and entrepreneur who is constantly coming up with harebrained business schemes, such as selling waterbeds, to make a quick buck. Alana is still living at home with her parents and desperately trying to leave the nest and also get men to like her. It was clear, at least to me, that Alana's self-esteem is shit. And I think that's why she keeps finding herself drawn to a non-legal teenager who thinks she's hot.

Guys, look. The age gap thing is fucking weird. And this is coming from someone who defends the age gap in Call Me By Your Name (which is 17/24, which feels worlds different than 15/25) It also feels sooooo unnecessary to the film. Everything about Alana screams "18 or 19 year old". She looks young, she's immature and unsure of herself, she lives with her parents, etc. Why couldn't PTA have made her just a tich younger. Even a 15/19 age gap would feel much less gross and made a lot more sense.

I think both the age gap and Alana's immaturity really made it difficult to enjoy this movie. While the two don't kiss until the very end...they do in fact kiss, which suggests that they will do more. And while I would say I am not quite as hard line against relationships between older teens and young 20-somethings, this is honestly a romance you can't feel good about. Alana only wants to be with Gary because he thinks she's pretty and because men her own age and older have failed her. And that's a sad basis for a romance right there. Is Alana a predator? Perhaps! But I think she is just a sad person more than anything else.

I still have to give the movie a B rating because it has many genuinely hilarious moments. There's a scene where Alana and Gary install a waterbed in the home of Jon Peters (a real life film producer), played by Bradley Cooper. Cooper plays Peters as a narcissistic psycho who tells Gary that if they fuck up his house he will kill his entire family. They end up fucking up his house and then fucking up his car, only to run out of gas with their giant truck parked right next to the car, forcing Alana to put the truck in neutral and go backwards down a giant, curving hill using only momentum. It's a great scene. 

Other scenes are not so great, such as a weird joke where a white guy who owns a Japanese restaurant that Gary frequents uses a "Japanese accent" to ask his (non-English speaking) Japanese wife what she thinks about various marketing strategies for the restaurant. This is another unnecessary, offensive thing about this movie. Also, Sean Penn is in the movie and he just straight-up sucks. I think what is really disappointing about Licorice Pizza is that the *potential* for a truly great movie is there--great acting, funny script, and a generally loose, fun vibe all around. But between the age gap romance, the casually racist jokes, and other dumb directorial choices, the film simply doesn't live up to it's potential.

I'm giving it a B, but it's a low B. 

Grade: B

Stuff I watched in...December 2021, pt. 1

Dopesick

The limited series, Dopesick, which is based on the book by Beth Macy, is an at times painfully sincere examination of the opioid crisis in the United States and the role Purdue Pharma played in getting America hooked on painkillers.

The series clearly aims to educate the audience, explaining in no uncertain terms how anyone can become addicted, that addiction is a disease and not a moral failing, and that opioids in particular are a real bitch to recover from. The only thing keeping my grade below an "A" level is that there are times when the show feels a bit like an after school special, holding the audience's hand in laying out what and how this all happened.

That said, it's still a damn good series. The acting is beyond excellent with vulnerable, heartbreaking performances by Kaitlyn Dever as Betsy Mallum, a young, queer woman who gets hooked on Oxycontin after a mining injury, and Michael Keaton as Samuel Finnix, Betsy's doctor who is haunted by the fact that he prescribed Oxy to his patients and who eventually becomes an addict himself. Additionally, performances by Peter Sarsgaard, Rosario Dawson, Will Poulter, and Michael Stuhlbarg (as Richard Sackler) round out a wall-to-wall excellent cast. In addition to the acting, the story itself is fascinating. How Purdue got away with causing so much damage for so long is infuriating and that they were able to continue pumping out this incredibly dangerous drug while blaming "drug addicts" for abusing the product really speaks to America's history of punishing sick people while rewarding those who are addicted to greed and money.

Dopesick is well worth the watch.

Grade: B+

***

The Power of the Dog

The Power of the Dog, director Jane Campion's first film in 12 years, is not a particularly violent film. Yet the film suggests that violence could break out at any moment, thus keeping the audience on the edge of their seat for the 2+ hour runtime. 

Taking place in Montana in the mid-1920s, The Power of the Dog focuses on two brothers, Phil Burbank (Benedict Cumberbatch) and George Burbank (Jesse Plemmons), who own a ranch (and much wealth). Phil is basically a sociopath who calls his brother "fatso" and has scorn for anything remotely feminine. When the men stop at a inn and meet widow Rose (Kirsten Dunst) and her teenage son Peter (Kodi Smit-McPhee), Phil mocks Peter's effeminate manner, causing Rose to cry. George comforts Rose and later he returns to propose. The two are married (fun fact: Plemmons and Dunst are married in real life) and move to George's ranch.

Phil continues to torment Rose in small but cruel ways, eventually leading her to turn to drinking. Peter goes away to college, but when he comes back for the summer, Phil seems to have changed his tune and takes the young man under his wing, teaching him the ways of the ranch. As I mention above, the film seems to promise violence--the score, by Johnny Greenwood, is filled with queasy violins that suggest a horror film; Cumberbatch's acting reminds one of an abuser--at any moment, he could explode or land a devastating insult about the very thing you're most insecure about. If there is one word to describe The Power of the Dog it's "tense". 

I won't reveal what happens, but The Power of the Dog is a very good film that rewards the viewer's patience.

Grade: B+

***

The Fly (1986)

David Cronenberg's iconic body horror film, starring the incomparable Jeff Goldblum, was a blindspot for me--something I've been meaning to watch for years and never got around to it until now. At first, I was skeptical. The movie starts out a bit clunky and I thought "well, this just feels like a very cheesy, dated film". But after Seth Brundle's (Goldblum) DNA mixes with that of a housefly, shit gets wild.

The movie was WAY grosser than I thought it would be, and trust, I was prepared for grossness. Between watching Seth pull out his fingernails as his body begins to transform and watching him vomit on his food in order to eat it, I was grossed out. The Fly is probably one of the top films you think of when you think "body horror", and it more than earns its place.

In addition to being gross, The Fly went places I did not expect. I figure the spoiler statue of limitations is up on this 35 year old film, so I can say that I wasn't expecting a fucking abortion subplot to be in this movie! I mean, I admit that the first thing I thought up when Seth and Veronica (Geena Davis) hook up is "heh heh, what if she gets pregnant with his fly-baby?"). WELP. Additionally, I was not expecting the final scene, in which Seth wordlessly begs Veronica to kill him, to hit me so hard in the feels. Even though he is utterly monstrous at this point, you still feel bad for the fly-man. 

Cronenberg, as usual, knocks it out of the park. The Fly lives up to the...buzz. 

Grade: A-

***

Honeydew

And now for a not-so-great horror movie. Recently released on Shudder, I had heard about Honeydew nearly a year ago and was super excited to watch it, only to forget about it completely. Honeydew is one of those movies about rednecks and how they'll fucking kill you. The film owes a LOT to Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but is not nearly as good.

A couple, botanist Rylie (Malin Barr) and aspiring actor Sam (Sawyer Spielberg--yes, son of Steven), are traveling in New England so that Rylie can study a type of fungus that, if consumed, can make people go insane (pretty obvious Chekhov's gun there). Their car breaks down, so they set up a tent to sleep, only to be booted out by a farmer who claims they are on his property. They walk to a nearby house, where an elderly woman lives with her mentally disabled son. She offers them a room in the basement to stay the night, and of course the two end up wandering around the house and, well, things go horribly wrong.

Honeydew is a very predictable movie that hits on all the cliches: broken down car, creepy old people who live in a rural area, protagonists who can't mind their own business and end up wandering into trouble, a close call with the cops, etc etc. The minute you find out that this fungus that Rylie is studying can make people go insane if they eat it, I was like "ok, so these old rednecks are eating wheat contaminated with the fungus and are crazy. Got it". When Rylie reveals she is vegan when the old woman, Karen, tries to feed her and Sam, I was like "I bet this bitch is either going to be made to eat human meat, or will be eaten herself". Nailed it! And you might think, "well, how did you know cannibalism would be part of this movie in the first place?" Oh come on, it was so obvious. Horror movie about rednecks called Honeydew? Of course it's going to have cannibalism in it! This isn't my first rodeo.

So, while Honeydew is laughably obvious and predictable, I will give it credit for being really gross. And not in a gory way, but just in an "unclean house" way. Watching this movie is like taking your socks off in a gym changing room and accidentally stepping in water--it just makes you cringe and feel icky. But other than that, Honeydew doesn't have much to offer.

Grade: C+

***

Frozen (2010)

Nope, not the movie starring Olaf! Frozen is a 2010 horror/thriller about three people who get stuck on a ski lift. I heard about it from a YouTube channel called Possessed by Horror. She loves this movie and mentions it all the time, so I thought I'd check it out. Well, it was pretty bad.

Dan, Joe, and Parker are friends who go to a ski resort. When the resort is closing up, they beg the ski lift operator to let them go up the mountain one more time. He reluctantly agrees. Due to a miscommunication, another operator thinks all visitors have made it down the mountain and shuts off the lift, with the three friends stuck on the lift wayyyy up high and the resort shutting down around them. And the resort will be closed until the following weekend. Basically, they will freeze to death if they can't find a way down.

I found Frozen to be boring. The acting was mediocre, the attempts to add personality to the characters by having them talk about memories and personal anecdotes was tedious. It wasn't scary, it wasn't sad. It was just a whole lot of "meh", and I even fast-forwarded part of it. 

I definitely can't recommend this one unless the premise really interests you. I think with better acting and a better script, it could have been more entertaining (and similar to something like 127 Hours), but it just didn't have the right stuff.

Grade: C-

***