Money Can't Buy Me Love

Movies: Crazy Rich Asians

I saw Jon M. Chu's Crazy Rich Asians with a friend who recently read the book and assured me "the book is better", so this review is not a referendum on the novel (which I haven't read). Just FYI.

There are two awesome things about Crazy Rich Asians. One is Awkwafina's performance as Peik Lin Goh, the main character's eccentric friend from college who steals the show. The other is the fact that this is the first Hollywood movie with an all-Asian cast since, I shit you not, 1993's The Joy Luck Club. And what a cast it is! Michelle Yeoh, Constance Wu...hell, even Ken Jeong has a memorable supporting role.

But to be honest, the movie itself is below this talented cast. It nearly buckles under the weight of its own pat sentimentality and rom-com cliches.

Rachel Chu (Constance Wu) is a an incredibly successful woman: an economics professor, she is the youngest faculty member at NYU. She has a close relationship with her mom, who raised her on her own. She also has a ridic hot boyfriend, Nick Young (Henry Golding) who has just asked her to travel with him to Singapore to attend his best friend's wedding. But what Rachel finds out as she and Nick are led to their private suite on the transatlantic flight is that Nick's family is rich...crazy rich.

No, like, you don't get it. CRAZY RICH. Like, these people wipe their asses with 20 dollars bills. And Nick is the golden son: heir to his family's fortune and essentially royalty in Singapore.

You might ask yourself, "wow, isn't that kind of shitty for Nick not to tell Rachel this? Like, possibly a relationship-ending offense?" and you'd be right! But then we wouldn't have the movie, right? And also, we wouldn't be able to enjoy the mildly jolty ride towards the obvious and not very realistic conclusion that love is more important than money.

Rachel has every right to be a little mad that Nick didn't tell her the reality of his family ahead of time, mainly because his mother hates her right off the bat. Michelle Yeoh is awesome as Nick's classy, cold mother who "would do anything for her son" as long as she gets to control his life. Eleanor Young is pissed that Nick has spent so much time in the States when he's promised to move back and learn the family business. Now that he's fallen in love with a scrappy Chinese-American, she fears (rightfully) that he might never move back.

Rachel also gets guff from Nick's ex, Amanda, and some miscellaneous cousins who call her a gold-digging bitch...even though she didn't even know about Nick's family's wealth. Ugh, money really does ruin everything, doesn't it?

There are some nice family members too--Cousin Oliver who is the gay "rainbow sheep of the family", Cousin Astrid whose wealth and beauty doesn't stop her husband from cheating on her, and many others, but the film doesn't really give us time to get to know these interesting characters--instead, it gives us a makeover sequence, a bachelorette/bachelor party sequence, and the actual wedding scene which, ugh, reminded me why I don't like weddings.

I really did not like the barrage of romantic comedy tropes here. The overwhelming soundtrack that tells you exactly how to feel with its swelling violins. The groomsman who tells the groom that he hopes his bride won't "take his balls" (UGH). There's even a AIRPLANE PROPOSAL. A proposal. That takes place. On an airplane. It's the biggest cliche of all rom-com cliches, and it's done without a hint of irony.

Also irony-free is the materialism porn in the movie. Look, I get that the film is called Crazy Rich Asians, but the movie just does not let up with the mansion porn and designer clothes porn and that wedding-industrial complex porn...holy shit. And it would have been ok if the plot itself had been a little meatier, but it wasn't. What's more, the film suggests that as long as one's heart is in the right place, wealth doesn't matter. But I don't agree--the level of wealth presented in the film is...well, it's inherently unethical, and there's not even a small attempt to pay lip service to the fact that many people in China live in outrageous poverty. Here's a story about people who live in "Coffin Homes" in Hong Kong.

I really struggled with this movie because I wanted to like it so bad, but it was so cliched and shallow. From what my friend told me, the book is far less cliched (no airplane proposal, for example) and spends more time with the individual family members, thus giving more depth and context to this insanely wealthy family. Crazy Rich Asians has been getting really good reviews and I'm glad that a Hollywood film with an Asian cast is making bank. If you love romantic comedies, by all means please check this film out. But from what I've heard, it sounds like the book is miles better than the film.

Grade: C+ 

Undercover Brother

Movies: BlackKklansman

Ok, first of all I have to confess that I have not seen as many Spike Lee films as I should have. A million years ago, I watched Do The Right Thing and I am way overdue for a re-watch. I saw Bamboozled (super underrated, btw) in college and Inside Man randomly with my parents. And of course, I saw BlackKklansman which I'm about the review here. So I feel like I want to make some assumptions about Spike Lee's work but can't because I'm a Spike Lee novice and I need to remedy that.

Anyhoo. BlackKklansman is the true story of Ron Stallworth, the first Black police detective in Colorado Spring, Colorado. The year is 1972 (however, the events that inspired the movie actually took place in 1979), so the country is smack in the middle of the Black Power movement. Ron is hardly a radical, but when he goes undercover see Kwame Ture (previously Stokely Carmichael, who changed his name after traveling to Africa) speak at a rally, he finds himself very attracted to Ture's message of not playing nice with the white establishment.

A while later, Ron (played beautifully by John David Washington) sees an ad in the local newspaper for the Ku Klux Klan. He calls the line and pretends to be a racist white person. After some convincing, his boss allows him and his white colleague Flip Zimmerman (Adam Driver, excellent as always) to infiltrate the local Klan. Ron will connect with them over the phone and Flip will play Ron for in-person visits with Klan members. Ultimately, this puts Ron in the path of none other than David Duke (Topher Grace, who looks disturbingly similar to young David Duke)--the "Grand Wizard" of the KKK himself.

BlackKklansman is surprisingly fun and funny for a story of horrific racism. Lee makes sure to mock the Klan for the bigoted fools they are and to show how Ron used their own ignorance and assumptions against them. For example, there's a great scene where Ron is talking to Duke on the phone and Duke says that he always knows when he's talking to a Black person because of their voices and, specifically, the way they pronounce "our". BlackKklansman should be noted as the second great film of the summer to use the concept of a "white voice" as a pivotal plot point. Lee walks a fine line between giving the audience plenty to laugh at while also reminding them that the KKK has and continues to commit acts of violence and brutality.

In fact, the greatest weakness of the film is that it is a bit on the nose in how it ties the racism of the 1970s to the racism of the past few years, with David Duke making pointed comments about hoping America will be restored to its previous "greatness" and Ron laughing at the idea of a guy like David Duke ever being elected president. Har har. That said, Lee's use of footage from the "Unite the Right" Rally in Charlottesville last summer and his dedication of the film to Heather Heyer still feels like a gut-punch. As much time as we spend laughing at the racist hicks in the film, we are forced to reckon with the fact that these same hicks are responsible for not just Heyer's murder, but the murder of thousands of Black people throughout the 20th century. There is a scene where an older gentleman describes the brutal castration and lynching of a developmentally disabled Black man in the 1920s who was accused of raping a white woman. The most disturbing part of this scene is knowing that this same violence still happens today and that we're NOT better than or beyond the racist brutality of post-Civil War America, or 1920s America, or 1960s America. Basically, different decade, same bullshit.

BlackKklansman also wades into some discussion about whether Black people can disrupt racism from within racist systems. Ron's girlfriend, Patrice, is the head of the black student union and believes that the police are inherently racist. Ron disagrees and argues that a Black cop could change things from the inside. The best part of Patrice and Ron's ongoing discussion? The fact that it isn't resolved by the end of the film--the two continue to disagree (respectfully) until the end. I liked that because there was no easy answer then and there is no easy answer today.

Although I liked Do The Right Thing and Bamboozled more, BlackKklansman is worth the watch. It isn't perfect, but it's thought-provoking and entertaining. It's not particularly interested in exploring the inherent humanity of racists and bigots, the way some movies that tread similar ground do, and while I love me some deep explorations of the nature of evil, it's kind of a relief to just make fun of these assholes for once.

Grade: B-

How White of You

Movies: Sorry to Bother You

Ok, first of all, if you haven't seen Sorry to Bother You yet, stop reading this and go see it. It's better going in knowing NOTHING. For once in my dumb life I *didn't* read a billion reviews before seeing the movie and I was very happy I got to have the full experience.

***

***

***

Ok, now that you saw it--- HOLY SHIT, RIGHT?

Lakeith Stanfield, best known for his role as Darius in Atlanta and also that black dude at the party who flips out when Daniel Kaluuya takes his picture in Get Out, plays Cassius Green--a man barely scraping by in Oakland, CA and living in his uncle's (played by Terry Crews, with hair!) garage. He takes a job as a telemarketer in a soul-crushing cubicle farm and a coworker (Danny Glover) encourages him to use his "white voice" to do better at his job. Cassius' white voice isn't his own voice but "whiter", it's REALLY fucking white--David Cross supplies the voice and you know how white David Cross sounds.

Cassius' success gets the attention of management who promote him to "Power Caller", which comes with a pay raise so huge he can't refuse, as well as a private golden elevator to a penthouse at the top of the building, filled with beautiful people selling...well....they're not exactly selling discount cruise vacations to elderly people up there.

Right as Cassius' star is rising, his coworkers, lead by Squeeze (Steven Yeun), are staging a strike in order to get paid better and receive benefits. Cassius' artist girlfriend, Detroit (the always wonderful Tessa Thompson) joins their ranks while also enjoying the benefits of Cassius' newfound wealth--but their relationship is hanging by a thread because Cassius is changing by hanging out with all those power callers and using his white voice all the time. MONEY MAKES PEOPLE WORSE. I'm not being sarcastic. It just does. How many kind and authentic rich people do you know? The only rich people I know are entitled dipshits who don't believe white privilege exists.

(Yes, I know. Wealth is relative. I'm probably in the top 1% if you compare me to the rest of the entire world. I, too, am an entitled dipshit).

So anyway, the shiz really hits the fan when Cassius is invited to a party at the home of a guy named Steve Lift (played PERFECTLY by Armie Hammer) who created a company called "Worry Free" where workers sign lifetime contracts to live, work, and eat in the same building without being paid because their living expenses are covered. Yes, it's literally slave labor--though, notably, all the ads and commercials for "Worry Free" feature white people.

So Cassius goes to Steve's mansion and is forced to perform a rap song for a group of drunk and high white people ("boring cunts" as Steve refers to them) but since Cassius can't rap, he just repeats the phrase "n*gger shit n*gger shit n*gger shit" over and over to a beat and it's a hit. The white people yell it right back to him.

The whole party scene was absolutely bonkers and hilarious--reminded me of Django Unchained where they go to that debauched party at Calvin Candy's house in New Orleans.

But then, right as Steve requests a private meeting with Cassius to talk about a project that he'd be a fool to turn down, Cassius accidentally discovers what Steve is REALLY up to and...man. To say the movie takes a sharp left turn isn't accurate--the movie launches into a different plane of existence.

And that's where I'll stop with the plot synopsis. If you read all this and haven't seen the movie--GO SEE IT.

Sorry to Bother You, which is directed by rapper Boots Riley, reminded me of a lot of films that touch on similar issues. The one movie it really felt kin to is Spike Lee's Bamboozled about a black man (Damon Wayans) who creates a TV show that incorporates blackface and minstrelsy as a "fuck you" to his white boss, but it backfires and becomes a hit--netting him power and money even though he created an insanely racist product. Similarly, STBY is about what happens when a black individual achieves success by fitting in to white culture and in that process ends up fucking over other black people (and poorer people).

It also reminded me of Django Unchained with its moments of crazed debauchery and pitch black humor and, of course, Get Out, especially in the last third. Despite all these comparisons, STBY never felt derivative--it is fully its own weird and wonderful thing. Even if all the ideas didn't come together seamlessly, it is so unique and bizarre that its minor flaws are 100% forgiven.

Sorry to Bother You is many things: an Oakland fantasia, a pro-union comedy, a perverse exploration of white privilege. But it is also one thing: a movie that must be seen to be believed.

Grade: A

Frozen in Terror

TV shows, books: The Terror

Welcome to another book/show twofer review! Today I'll be reviewing Dan Simmons' epic work of historical horror The Terror as well as the AMC television show based on that book.

I first read The Terror in graduate school and though it took about 2 months to read (the novel is 700 or 900 pages depending on whether you're reading a trade or mass-market paperback) I was enraptured by it. The novel blends historical reality with fictional horror. It takes a real-life event: the John Franklin expedition of 1845 to find the Northwest Passage, which ended in the deaths of all the men from starvation and scurvy and adds a supernatural element: a monster hunting the men on the ice.

The novel has multiple perspectives: John Franklin himself, a man of great hubris who ignores the advice of his fellow Captains and Lieutenants to modify their course when it becomes clear that the ships on the expedition, HMS Erebus and HMS Terror, will soon be stuck in pack ice. Additionally, we see the perspectives of Francis Crozier, Franklin's second in command and the protagonist of the story, Dr. Harry Goodsir, and various men on the ships.

What truly makes this story unique is how seamlessly Simmons weaves together the real life horrors of starvation, severe illness, the unforgiving landscape of hellish cold, cannibalism, and murder with the supernatural horrors of the mysterious "Thing on the ice" that is introduced in the first 20 pages and is not fully explained until the final 50 pages, yet keeps the reader in suspense the entire time.

The book was adapted into a ten episode series for AMC starring Ciaran Hinds as Franklin, Jared Harris (best known as one of my favorite characters from Mad Men, Lane Pryce) as Crozier, and Tobias Menzies (whom Outlander aficionados will recognize as Frank Randall/Black Jack Randall) as the third in command, James Fitzjames.

The order in which I watched/read the show/book is this:
Read The Terror in grad school
Watched the show a few months ago
Re-read the book
Re-watched the show (with closed captions)

And I'm glad I read the book and watched the show twice because the show is damned hard to follow unless you have closed captions, already know the story, or both. Think: dozens of British actors who all look the same when bundled up, have similar character names (sooooo many Johns, James, and Thomases), and all have thick accents (the first time I watched the show, I thought they were all saying "left-tenant" instead of "Lieutenant"). By re-reading the book and then immediately re-watching the show, I picked up on many things I missed in the first viewing.

This might sound like a lot of work to you so if you're at all curious, my recommendation is to watch the TV show with closed captions so you can at least follow who's who. If you're looking for a spooky good time though, the book delivers more tension and creepiness than the show does.

The show's strength lies in strong performances by Jared Harris, Tobias Menzies, and Adam Nagaitis who plays Cornelius Hickey, a scheming man who tries to undermine his superiors. Additionally, Nive Nielsen, a singer-songwriter and budding actress who is Inuk, plays Lady Silence, an "Esquimaux" woman who has a spiritual connection to the monster on the ice. Appropriately, they cast a Native person to play a Native character and she does an amazing job elevating the character above any kind of "noble savage" stereotype. In fact, Lady Silence has the power to both save and kill the white men aboard the ships. Although she is one of the few female characters on the show (which makes sense, given the time and place it is set), she is fully fleshed out and three-dimensional. The story wouldn't make sense without her.

The book and tv show are pretty niche. If you love sea-faring stories, you'll love it. If you like historical fiction and/or horror, you'll love it. Otherwise, you might find both the book and show long and tedious. Given the fact that the novel is one of the few books I've ever re-read, you can see where I land.

Grades:
The Terror, the book: A+
The Terror, the show: A

Neighborly

Movies: Won't You Be My Neighbor?

There's a lot to unpack regarding my deep, deep feelings about the Fred Rogers documentary Won't You Be My Neighbor?

My parents tell a story about how when I was a little girl, I once called Mr. Rogers a "screwball". Very cute, but obviously 5-year-old Jenny couldn't possibly know what "screwball" meant so I clearly picked it up from an adult or adults in my life. If I can lovingly and gently throw my parents under the bus for a minute, what I think I picked up on was the fact that Mr. Rogers was very pro-feelings and I was raised in about a 50-60% pro-feelings household. Meaning, I was allowed to feel feelings, but I was encouraged to go to my room to cry.

This isn't to criticize my parents or how they raised me because I think they did a pretty good job, and I have the money to pay for a therapist to sort out the stuff they goofed on. But I do think that I was a sensitive child and I now wish I could have heard Fred Rogers' message a little more clearly because I think it would have helped me. As a 32 year old adult, I'm not ashamed to say that I need to feel special and I need to feel loved. I have the strength to reach out and ask for these things from the people who are able to give them to me: family, friends, and even strangers I pay. I get monthly massages because I want to be touched. I meet with a therapist because I need to be heard. I'm often single, so I can't always rely on a partner for touch and for an ear to listen, so I cultivate many, many friends whom I also try to give affection and love to since these things work better as a two-way street. I've grown, I think, into a woman who loves deeply, despite my feelings of anger and fear at the world and what this country has become.


To admit that we need love, we need validation, we need to feel special is to admit that we are human. And yet, think about how hard it is for many of us to admit these things. Think of all the ways feelings have been beaten out of us as we've grown older. This is especially true for men, I believe, but it's true for women as well. Women are constantly encouraged to not be honest about our feelings and needs in order to take up less space and time.

Fred Rogers, as Won't You Be My Neighbor? reveals, understood children in a way very few people were and are able to: he could get down to their level but never lose respect for them. The doc shows that Rogers addressed racism, assassination (specifically Bobby Kennedy's assassination), divorce, tragedy (the Challenger explosion, 9/11, etc) and perhaps the scariest issue of all: one's own personal feelings of inadequacy.

In a scene so deeply touching that I wept into my popcorn, Betty Aberlin (known as Lady Aberlin on Mister Rogers' Neighborhood) sings a duet with Daniel Striped Tiger.

Daniel sings:
Sometimes I wonder if I'm a mistake
I'm not like anyone else I know
When I'm asleep or even awake
Sometimes I get to dreaming that I'm just a fake
I'm not like anyone else

And Lady Aberlin sings:
I think you are just fine as you are
I really must tell you
I do like the person you are becoming
When you are sleeping
When you are waking
You're not a fake
You're no mistake
You are my friend

Think about that song: it addresses the deepest fear everyone has--that we are not enough. All the evils in the world can be traced back to this fear. That we're not worthy of love. And Fred Rogers, a man people mocked and called "gay" and "feminine" and other supposed insults (because being feminine or gay are so terrible, right?) had the guts to address it on camera.

At one point in the doc, one of Rogers' sons mentions it was hard growing up with a man some people believed was "the second Christ" and, I have to admit, it does seem like Fred Rogers was almost supernatural in his kindness and his gentle strength. But the film reveals that even Rogers struggled with feelings of inadequacy and--perhaps especially in his final years--the question of did it really make a difference? Honestly, I'm glad he passed away before he saw the current state our country is in.

That said, here's how I see it: events on a national and international scale, such as racial animosity, natural disasters, terrorism, political oppression, etc have always been part of life and always will be. Likewise, hardships on a personal level, such as imposter syndrome, addiction, and abuse will always be part of life. As "Christlike" as Fred Rogers was, he was not, in fact, Christ and he couldn't stop these things from happening. But what he could do is help children understand and cope with these hardships and painful feelings and experiences. So he did make a difference. He made an enormous difference.

A friend once told me that the work of activism is ongoing. Activism, in whatever form it takes is by nature never complete because the world will never be perfect and safe for everyone. To choose to do activism is to choose to do what you can knowing that the goal isn't perfection. The goal is to make life more bearable for both others and yourself. This is what Fred Rogers did and what he inspired in so many others.

I beg you--please see this movie and let it make you cry. As a kid I cried a lot and sometimes had to go to my room to do it, but as an adult I cried in public watching this movie. Tears are the natural response to the exhaustion of being a kind person in a world that wants to hurt the most vulnerable. Let Won't You Be My Neighbor? inspire you to keep working. Don't give up hope. Things are scary and infuriating right now, but this is actually not new--the problem of power and violence and hate has been around since people have been around and it will never go away. But instead of letting that thought break you, let it encourage you not to try to change the entire world, but to make all the difference in the world to the people you are closest too--tell a friend you love them. Offer a hug. Pay for someone's coffee. Tell a child that they are special and loved and respected. We owe Fred Rogers that much, considering how much he gave us.

Grade: A+ 

Tainted Blood

Movies: Hereditary

I know a lot of y'all out there reading this are very curious about Ari Aster's film Hereditary, which is being hailed as one of the scariest movies EVER and also totally bat-whack insane. So for those of you who haven't seen it yet, I'll do a brief review without spoilers (although you really should go in completely blind) and for those who are too scared to see it (or want to be prepared), I'll write a much more detailed plot description below that.

Spoiler-free section:

I'll start out by saying that Hereditary is very, very good and incredibly distressing. There's already backlash against the film (which is Aster's first feature-length film, btw) saying it's over the top and even misogynist and ableist. By all means, read about the film and it's various interpretations, but this movie is pretty fucking well done in my opinion.

Hereditary opens on the day of Ellen Graham's funeral. Her daughter, Annie (Toni Collette, a force to be reckoned) gives an eulogy that reveals her not great relationship with her "difficult, secretive" mother. Later on in the film, we find out much more about this profoundly troubled mother-daughter relationship. Annie is a miniaturist who builds dollhouses and miniature replicas--very cool and also super creepy. She and her husband, Steve (Gabriel Byrne, appropriately understated) are raising two kids: older teen Peter (Alex Wolff, who steals the movie) and Charlie (Milly Shapiro), an odd, introverted thirteen year old girl with some tics and a propensity for drawing creepy ass cartoons.

Not long after the funeral, the family suffers another tragedy which I won't reveal the nature of, but I will say that it sets in motion all the wack shit you saw in the preview. At it's heart, Hereditary is movie about how grief can make us go insane and turn life into a waking nightmare.

The acting in Hereditary is top-notch, with Toni Collette giving a brutal performance as a woman who suppresses a lot of negative emotions and resentment until they explode and Alex Wolff giving a performance of intense vulnerability (when was the last time you saw an older teenage boy in a movie or TV show weeping and crying "Mommy!"? Some people in the audience giggled during those scenes because you don't see older boys cry a lot in movies and TV...because our culture is fucked up in how we limit the emotions of boys...but I digress. Wolff is excellent).

The scares in Hereditary are frightening, especially if you go in blind; however, it's the almost overwhelming emotions the film potentially brings out in the audience that is truly distressing. Let's just say that if you have a bad relationship with a parent, you might want to sit this one out.

Overall: excellent horror film that will leave you feeling emotionally shredded. Highly recommended.

Grade: A-

***

SPOILERS AHEAD

Let's just get the biggest spoiler out of the way first. Not long after Ellen Graham's funeral, Charlie, the thirteen year old, dies in a freak, super violent accident. Annie forces Peter to take her to a party and while he's getting high with some friends, Charlie eats cake with nuts in it and has an allergic reaction. As Peter rushes her to the hospital, she sticks her head out the window to get some air and is decapitated by a telephone pole. How you feel about this probably depends on a lot of things, like how dark your sense of humor is. But people in the audience I watched it with collectively gasped and then went dead silent.

In the days and weeks that follow, Annie and Peter are both overwhelmed by grief, guilt, and resentment. They have a confrontation at the dinner table in the film's best and most gutting scene where Annie says she wishes Peter would just admit that Charlie's death is his fault (since he wasn't watching her at the party) and he responds, "What about you, Mom? Charlie didn't want to go to the party. So why was she there?" Of course, they're both right--but they're also both wrong in the sense that it really is no one's "fault", which in a way makes the senseless death so much harder to process. It was just the worst possible thing to happen and it did happen and for no reason other than bad luck.

Annie and Peter start seeing things. Peter sees Charlie in the corner of his room. Annie has terrible dreams of Peter's face covered in ants. These could be the understandable bodily responses to grief, or they could be supernatural. But when Annie meets up with a woman named Joan from a grief support group (Ann Dowd, also known as Aunt Lydia from The Handmaid's Tale, and just as terrifying in this film) who claims she can talk to her dead son, shit really hits the fan.

After Annie forces Steve and Peter to participate in a seance ritual to contact Charlie, the supernatural events ramp up intensely: Peter's own body betrays him at school, and it seems that whatever is haunting the Graham family has it out for him in particular. Meanwhile, Anne discovers a secret that makes her blood run cold: Her mother *knew* Joan from the support group before she died (and Joan didn't mention it), and it appears they were in a devil-worshipping coven together.

Now, again, one's response to this information depends on the individual. I could see a lot of viewers finding the devil-worshipping aspect very cheesy, but I liked it. I'm also a huge fan of Rosemary's Baby, which was clearly an inspiration for this movie.

The final 20 minutes or so goes completely off the rails. It involves Steve spontaneously catching on fire (bye Steve! You were no help to anyone in this movie), Annie floating around the ceiling and eventually beheading herself, and Peter becoming the bodily host to a devil called Paimon and being worshiped by a bunch of old, naked people. Wooo, what a ride.

Suffice it to say, Hereditary is a roller coaster both emotionally and in terms of just the sheer amount of creepy and bizarre images. I mentioned Rosemary's Baby as clear inspiration for the film, but it's also very comparable to Darren Arronofsky's mother! in terms of bat-shittery. Like mother! Hereditary feels creepy and off-kilter from the get-go and ramps up to a wild, off-the-rails conclusion that will make some viewers roll their eyes and others feel a sense of delight, like one feels while riding a roller coaster or taking LSD or whatever people do to feel something EXTREME. Personally, I enjoyed the hell out of the movie and while it didn't scare me too badly in the moment (I read a detailed synopsis, much like the one I'm writing here, before seeing it), it did give me nightmares.

Highly recommended for lovers of horror and intense, bat-shit movies. Not recommended for people who have mommy issues.

Grade: A-

Easy Watchin'

Movies: Deadpool 2, Solo

What would summer be without sequels, spin-offs, and superheroes? I recently saw two movies that I would characterize as "popcorn flicks"--movies that, while not excellent cinema, are fun and entertaining. I don't have a ton to say about either one of them, so I'm going to do a twofer review.

Deadpool 2

I've written in this blog before that I'm not really a fan of superhero movies. And I pretty much stick by that statement, though of course I've seen plenty of superhero movies by virtue of not living under a rock. However, I find many of them either too cutesy or too sincere. Too PG-13, if you will. So you can see how Deadpool, the self-aware, R-rated Merc with the Mouth is one of my favorites.

I LOVED the first Deadpool movie and there was no way in hell I'd miss the second. I left the theatre with mixed feelings about Deadpool 2: overall, I enjoyed it and was happy I saw it. There were a couple things about it I particularly enjoyed, such as the introduction of Domino, a lady superhero played by Atlanta's Zazie Beetz whose power is, simply, good luck. I also liked the hilarious, if short-lived "X-Force" that Deadpool gathers together and the father/son (or, more accurately, big brother/little brother) relationship Deadpool has with a young mutant named Firefist (on which the entire plot is based).

However, the movie felt very uneven and all over the place in both tone and plot. Previews implied that a giant chunk of the film would revolve around the above-mentioned X-Force, which was really not the case. There's also a time-traveling aspect to the film which led to a huge fucking plothole which annoyed the FUCK out of me.

///spoiler for plothole//

Ok, if Cable ends up not going back to the future at the end of the movie, does that mean his kid was never even born? Or, if she was, doesn't that mean he abandoned his family to live in the present?

//end spoiler//

I'm sure there are essays written by nerdy fans who explain this plothole, but I just was like "what the fuck, that makes NO SENSE" at the end.

There's also the "fridging" issue, which I won't get into--you can google "Deadpool + fridging" if you want to read more, but suffice it to say I thought it was lazy writing.

So: Deadpool 2. Good on some counts, bad on other counts. Definitely not as good as the original. But if Deadpool 3 ever comes out, I will 100% be there to watch it.

Grade: B-

***

Solo

In addition to not being a superhero person, I'm REALLY not a Star Wars person. I just never connected with the franchise. That said, I appreciate the importance of Star Wars in our culture. But I was invited to see Solo and that was the only way I was going to get my butt to go see it. I would have never just gone of my own volition. Hell, I still haven't seen The Last Jedi.

Solo is a fun movie. It takes a little while to get going, but the second half really picks up, especially when Lando Calrissian (Donald Glover) shows up to give the movie some much-needed sex appeal. Seriously, can they just make a movie about Calrissian being a total boss and fucking sexy space-ladies? I'd go see that movie.

Solo is a heist movie. Basically, Han Solo (Alden Ehrenreich) latches on to some career criminals, Val (Thandie Newton, who I only see as Maeve from Westworld now) and Beckett (Woody Harrelson being Woody Harrelson) and basically fucks up their big score so then he and Chewy have to help them with an even riskier heist so the big boss, Dryden Vos (Paul Bettany, going full space-Nazi here) doesn't kill them all. There are crosses and double-crosses and triple-crosses aplenty. Maybe even a quadruple-cross. I lost count at some point.

The good thing about Solo is that you don't really need to understand Star Wars in depth to get it. I mean, it helps, but you could go see it without seeing a single one of the other films in the franchise and still have a good time. And at its heart, that's what Star Wars is all about: classic stories about good vs. evil that are fun and that you can watch with the whole family.

Grade: B

GIVE LANDO HIS OWN MOVIE