Stuff I watched in...December, 2024

Black Christmas (1974)

Starting off Christmas season with this groovy slasher from the 1970s (directed by Bob Clark, who also directed Christmas classic A Christmas Story), I was really surprised at how vulgar and violent this movie was (happily surprised). Set in a sorority at Christmas break, the ladies of Pi Kappa Sigma have been receiving sexually aggressive phone calls from a man they dub "the moaner". But when members of the house go missing, the women have to wonder if the moaner is not just an obscene caller, but a violent killer as well.

I love 1970s clothing and decor, as well as the overall vibes of the 1970s. So I really enjoyed Black Christmas even though I'm not generally into the slasher subgenre. If you're into horror, especially slashers and/or Christmas horror, this is one to check out.

Grade: B

***

Peeping Tom

Directed by Michael Powell, Peeping Tom was very controversial when it was released in 1960. The film follows a man, Mark Lewis (Karlheinz Bohm), who has a passion for photography...and MURDER. He enjoys killing women in particular and films them as he stabs them to death (with a blade attached to his camera's tripod--very clever).

While Peeping Tom has obvious themes of fetishism and voyeurism, what *really* turns Mark's crank is fear. We find out that he was the victim of his psychologist father's experiments on fear in children: Mark's father would purposely scare him and then film Mark's reactions. This, of course, led Mark to being the fear-and-film obsessed killer he is as an adult.

Peeping Tom has gorgeous cinematography, which makes sense give that Michael Powell also directed the visually stunning Black Narcissus and The Red Shoes (although Peeping Tom had a different cinematographer than those other two films). Clearly, Powell valued beauty in film, even a film with ugly content. I'm really glad I finally watched this classic psychological horror film. 

Grade: B+

***

Subservience

This movie, released directly to Netflix, stars Megan Fox as an android purchased by Nick (Michele Morrone) to help with childcare, cooking, and cleaning while his wife, Maggie (Madeline Zima), awaits a heart transplant in the hospital. Of course, this sexy maidbot, named Alice by Nick's daughter, becomes sentient...and evil.

Subservience is a perfectly entertaining mindless popcorn flick about the dangers of technology that can think for itself. I have a feeling we're going to see a lot of movies like this is the coming years. There's honestly a lot more action than I expected in this film (I guess I assumed it would be more...mind games? Cat and mouse?) and action mostly bores me, so I was definitely playing on my phone during the last 20 minutes. Take that as me not recommending this movie, although it certainly could have been worse.

Grade: C

***

Jennifer's Body

After watching Subservience, I was inspired to rewatch the movie that put Megan Fox on the map. Jennifer's Body, directed by Karyn Kusama and written by Diablo Cody, was released to middling reviews at the time but has now gained cult status as a "good for her" type horror film. When I saw it in 2009 I remember being disappointed that it wasn't as good as Juno (another Diablo Cody-penned film) and I thought most of the "cute" turns of phrase that Cody likes to include in her scripts were forced and not very clever. 

Upon a rewatch, I now see Jennifer's Body as....drum roll please...a good but not great movie! *confetti*

I have more of an appreciation for it now, and I think Adam Brody's turn as the Satanic lead singer of an extremely mediocre indie band is hilarious, but overall I'd still rate it as just ok. At the time of its release, I feel like the movie caught both sexist flack for starring an attractive, yet not particularly talented (sorry) actress in the lead, but also feminist flack for...the same reason? There was definitely discourse around the movie. Watching it now, I don't really see the movie as particularly feminist OR anti-feminist. It has two female leads and they pass the Bechdel test, but Jennifer's Body doesn't really feel all that subversive to me.

I'm glad I rewatched it and I'm glad it attained cult status, but, to me, it's just ok.

Grade: B

***

Home Alone

I was SO into Home Alone as a kid and then I didn't watch it for a long, long time. Now, I am introducing it into my cycle of Christmas movies (there are like five movies that I regularly rewatch at Christmas, but not every Christmas so I don't burn out on them. It was Home Alone's turn this year).

As an adult, I have a lot of appreciation for Chris Columbus's surprisingly dark and unhinged tale of a young boy, Kevin McCallister (Macaulay Culkin), left behind at Christmas while his family jets off to Paris. While staying squarely in a PG rating, Home Alone is pretty fucked up. Kevin is really treated as a pest by his entire family. He lives in a world that is uncaring and hostile to children. No wonder he wishes his family would disappear!

And then you have Harry and Marv, played brilliantly by Joe Pesci (who struggled mightily not to drop f-bombs while filming) and Daniel Stern. When the "Wet Bandits" realize that Kevin is home alone, they figure burglarizing the McCallister homestead will be an easy job. After all, what can a little kid do? But Kevin is...precocious. I will say that Macaulay Culkin is not the most natural child actor I've seen. He says his lines with a forced and overly loud tone. But I'm not going to criticize a kid who was abused by his piece of shit father. In some ways, Home Alone is a bit of a guilty pleasure knowing that Culkin, a huge child star of the 90s, was being treated like crap by his family and Hollywood at the time. 

If we put that nastiness aside, Home Alone is a deeply fun, funny, and enjoyable movie that holds up really well 35 years later. There's a reason we can still say "keep the change, ya filthy animal" and most people get the reference.

Grade: A

***

Edward Scissorhands

It had been years since I watched Tim Burton's classic story of the uncommonly gentle man with scissors for hands. The movie unnerved the hell out of me as a kid, so I don't think I watched the entire thing until...college? In any case, it had been a while and I decided to revisit it.

Edward Scissorhands is an almost excruciatingly bittersweet film. The content itself is bittersweet: a very gentle man created by a mad genius and left alone in a castle is brought into society by a well-meaning woman, Peg Boggs (Diane Wiest, just wonderful here), only to become the object of fascination by a bunch of shallow, ignorant suburb-dwellers and then a hunted scapegoat when things go wrong. The movie is also bittersweet on a meta-level in that it represents a time when Time Burton made interesting, creative, heartfelt films instead of ugly Hollywood dreck and Johnny Depp was an exciting up-and-comer and not an abusive weirdo. 

We didn't know how good we had it. 

Edward Scissorhands is notable for that weird mix of colorful, suburban conformity and BDSM-goth vibes. Although Ed Wood is my favorite Tim Burton film, Edward Scissorhands feels the most Burton-y. It also has an absolutely beautiful score by the great Danny Elfman. The music really jerks those tears out of you.

Really glad I rewatched this one. 

Grade: A-

***

Daddy's Head

Daddy's Head is an incredibly unnerving horror film on Shudder. James (Charles Aitken) is killed in a car accident. He was a widower and recently remarried to Laura (Julia Brown). He leaves behind his young son Isaac (Rupert Turnbull), now an orphan. Laura waffles on adopting Isaac and becoming his legal guardian. She also has a drinking problem that gets worse in the aftermath of the accident.

And then the...thing...shows up. A creature that moves quickly in the dark and can mimic human speech. This entity starts to convince Isaac that it is his father. In a different body, sure, but very much alive. Isaac's insistence that his father has returned and Laura's constant drunkeness and resentment towards her stepson reach a boiling point. 

So, yeah, it's another grief horror movie. They are so hot these days, but I'm starting to think they might be overstaying their welcome. You can't top Midsommar and you shouldn't even try. But even though Daddy's Head is a middling movie, it's got some seriously creepy creature design. It'll definitely spook you!  

Grade: B

***

Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979)

In preparing to see Robert Eggers take on Nosferatu, I revisited Werner Herzog's 1979 version starring Klaus Kinski, Isabella Adjani, and Bruno Ganz. Hands down, the best thing about this movie is the music. The score was composed by Popol Vuh, a West German musical collective. They do amazing, mesmerizing work here. 

The cinematography is also stunning. Between the music and cinematography, Nosferatu the Vampyre has an almost hypnotic quality to it. It's very slow and the plot is thin and familiar. But it doesn't feel boring. It's almost...relaxing. Klaus Kinski is extremely creepy as Count Dracula (not Count Orlock in this film, as the character is called in the 1922 version)...he's serving rat face, which is appropriate given the role rats play in the film.

Nosferatu the Vampyre is a very nostalgic film for me because it brings me back to my college years when I was watching a lot of Herzog and exploring artsy movies. I would only recommend it to people already inclined to watch it anyway--fans of Herzog and artsy vampire movies. It might be a bit too slow for others.

Grade: A-

*** 

Carry-On

Another mid-level Netflix movie, Carry-On is good, but ridiculous, fun. Starring Taron Egerton as Ethan Kopek, a TSA agent working at LAX on Christmas Eve and feeling a little...mixed. He just found out he's about to become a father with his girlfriend Nora (Sofia Carson), who also works at LAX, but he's also just kind of drifting through life and his ennui is becoming more apparent and obvious to both him and Nora.

Inspired by a conversation with Nora, Ethan asks his boss, Sarkowski (Dean Norris), for more responsibility and it allowed to work the xray machines. When he discovers an earpiece in one of the bins and immediately gets a text telling him to put it in his ear RIGHT NOW, Ethan is swept into a situation he was never meant to be part of. The man talking to him using the earpiece goes only by "the Traveler" (Jason Bateman) and he explains to Ethan that a man will soon be in his line with a suitcase and Ethan must let the suitcase go through. Ethan asks what's in the suitcase, but the Traveler refuses to tell him...which is how Ethan knows that it's bad. Really bad.

Carry-On has excellent pacing. Although there are many familiar beats to the movie, it's never slow and never boring. It is, of course, completely unrealistic. So many things would foil the bad guys' plot, but let's just ignore those and enjoy the ride. 

Despite the fact that Carry-On is technically a Christmas movie, it will never be in the Canon and is likely doomed to obscurity since it's just another mediocre and forgettable straight-to-Netflix film. But, like a one-night stand, its a fun way to pass the time.

Grade: B

Nosferatu (2024)

For cinephiles, Robert Eggers' adaptation of the 1922 German film Nosferatu was one of the most anticipated movies of 2024. Eggers is known for his slow, atmospheric, historically accurate films and Nosferatu is a great fit for the director of The VVitch and The Lighthouse.

I would say that Nosferatu is probably my least favorite of Eggers' films...but even the "worst" Eggers film is still miles beyond the best work of many Hollywood filmmakers. I only say it's my least favorite because while all of his films are slow, his previous ones have been surprising and unfamiliar in a way that Nosferatu is not and cannot be for me since I've seen the 1922 version, directed by F.W. Murnau, multiple times and the 1979 version, directed by Werner Herzog, multiple times as well. There isn't much here to surprise me.

Which isn't to say it's a bad film. By no means! Nosferatu is GORGEOUS. The cinematography, lighting, costumes, and set design are all delicious. Set in 1838 Germany, the film feels strangely cozy even as death and destruction haunt its characters. 

The plot is simple and familiar: Thomas Hutter (Nicholas Hoult) is a newly married estate agent who travels to Transylvania to sell a piece of property to an old, eccentric Count Orlock (Bill Skarsgard). His wife, Ellen (Lily Rose-Depp), begs him not to go, telling him of a dream she had that portends death. Thinking of his and Ellen's future financial security, Hutter doesn't heed her protestations. 

Although locals try to warn Hutter away from going up to Orlock's castle, he arrives and is...uh, welcomed...by the Count. Skarsgard, mostly hidden in shadow, wears pounds of makeup to look like the rat-faced and utterly terrifying Count. Unbeknownst to Hutter, what Orlock is really after is Hutter's wife. Orlock spends several nights drinking Hutter's blood until the man is weak and weary...he then tricks Hutter into signing a document in an ancient language that dissolves Hutter's marriage. Orlock leaves the ill man in his castle and makes his way by ship to Wisborg, Germany to claim Ellen. 

Meanwhile, Ellen is living at Friedrich and Anna Harding's home and is sleepwalking and having fits every night. In this interpretation of Nosferatu, Ellen and Count Orlock are bound by a childhood wish Ellen made. As a lonely child, she prayed for a "guardian angel" to come to her...and, instead, awakened the Count. She believes that the Count is essentially her own inner darkness made corporeal and therefore she is to blame for everything that happens. I found this to be a really interesting interpretation of the story and one that anyone with anxiety will relate to: the idea that bad thoughts and fantasies inside your own head will somehow become real and cause destruction to everyone you love.

Friedrich (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) has Dr. Wilhelm Sievers (Ralph Ineson) examine Ellen and the doctor recommends bringing in Professor Albin Eberhart Von Franz (Willem Dafoe), who is an expert in the occult. Friedrich is skeptical but desperate for a solution, so he allows Von Franz to examine Ellen. 

In the final third of the movie, three plot points come together: Hutter, after being nursed to health by nuns, returns to Wisborg; Count Orlock arrives on a plague-ridden ship to Wisborg; and all the men involved (Friedrich, Sievers, Von Franz, and Hutter) realize that Orlock is ultimately after Ellen and they try to figure out how to stop him.

But both Ellen and Von Franz know that the only way to truly stop Orlock is for Ellen to sacrifice herself to the Count. If she can entice him to feed on her throughout the night until daybreak, the Count will die. They engineer an opportunity for that to happen without Hutter interrupting. Hutter loses his beloved, but the people of Wisborg are spared from the plague that the Count brought with him.

Nosferatu, which is a slightly different retelling of Bram Stoker's Dracula, which itself is an amalgamation of vampiric folklore and historical events, has many interesting and layered thematic elements. It's a story about infection, as Count Orlock is the bringer of the plague--of death and disease. It's about the clash between old ways and new ways, between ritual and science. It's also about the fear of women and their sexuality. Robert Eggers' Nosferatu leans heavily into the sexuality angle and folks have called this the "horniest" interpretation of Nosferatu yet. There is much orgasmic moaning, gyrating of hips, innuendo, and the like throughout the movie. Ellen's constant gaspy breathing and hysterical fits eventually got on my nerves, as I'm sure "hysterical" women got on the nerves of men throughout the centuries. 

I'm not going to go into a super deep and detailed reading of the movie, but I took it to be this: Hutter, Friedrich, and Sievers represent science, modernity, polite society, and masculine control over nature. Ellen and Orlock represent nature, "base" instincts, sexuality, the old ways, and the ultimate feminine dominion over men. Von Franz is the bridge that links the two worlds: he is a man of learning, but he accepts the reality of magic, superstition, and things that science can't explain. While men try to dominate and control women/nature, ultimately nature wins out. And letting Orlock and Ellen follow the path of destiny is the only thing that stops the death and destruction along the way. 

So there you have it--my interpretation of this ageless tale. I enjoyed the movie a lot and it was pretty much exactly the film I thought it would be. Solid, but no surprises. I definitely recommend it, though I'm pretty sure The Lighthouse will always be my favorite Eggers film.

Grade: B+

Babygirl

Anchored by a strong performance by Nicole Kidman, Babygirl was a bit of a letdown for me. This is not to say it's a bad movie, but I do think it was marketed incorrectly. The previews for Babygirl, directed by Halina Reijn (who previously directed horror-comedy Bodies Bodies Bodies), painted the film as a high-stakes thriller in which a powerful CEO, Romy (Kidman), risks losing everything to engage in a tawdry BDSM-tinged affair with a much younger intern, Samuel (Harris Dickinson). Well, that's partially what happens in the film...but to be honest the stakes never feel that high.

Romy Mathis seems to have it all: she's the CEO of a company called Tensile which focuses on automating repetitive tasks (so, she's a capitalist pig who made her fortune taking jobs away from blue collar workers...but the movie doesn't really get into that...), she has two lovely daughters, and her husband is literally Antonio Banderas. But what she doesn't have is honesty about what she needs sexually. She has never had an orgasm with her loving husband. Romy fantasizes about domination. But she doesn't have the courage to ask for it.

When she meets intern Samuel, she is shocked when he casually says that he thinks she "likes to be told what to do". Shock transforms into obsession and she and Samuel begin an affair in which neither of them really know what they're doing. Samuel is what I'd call a bush league dom. He's kind of stumbling around, telling Romy to get on her knees one minute and then laughing and asking "well, is that what you want?" the next. Romy is not much better. Although she's spent years watching BDSM porn, she literally doesn't know how to ask for what she wants...she doesn't even know what she wants. And she's fighting against every instinct telling her that she should be a strong woman who doesn't get on her knees in a filthy, cheap hotel room.

But get on her knees she does and Samuel, er, manually brings her to an explosive orgasm. Nicole Kidman goes vanity-free as she practically barks like a dog when she climaxes. I appreciated the obscenely realistic sex scenes in Babygirl. It's interesting because there's not a ton of nudity and you don't actually see much of the sex, but what you do see is so awkward and unvarnished that it feels very, very real. This is no perfectly choreography sex in a beautifully lit room. This is no Bridgerton. 

I also appreciated the realistic approach to BDSM. Two people who don't know what they're doing probably would approach dominance and submission in this way because they have no clue where to start. Samuel is no Mr. Grey and thank god for that. However, he's not particularly sexy either. Dickinson plays Samuel as a mumbly, immature dude who looks like he probably doesn't wear deodorant. Definitely not *my* dream guy, but I think he is so alien to Romy and her perfect little world that he represents the ultimate escape. 

As much as the messiness was refreshing...I have to admit that I didn't find Babygirl particularly sexy or thrilling. Again, the previews made it look like Samuel could take everything away from Romy with one phone call. But I just didn't buy that. If you're a CEO with that much power, I think an affair could cause serious consequences but it's not like you'd end up destitute.

And guess what? Romy and Samuel do get found out. And what happens? Does Romy get fired? No. Does her husband divorce her? No. Do her children hate her? No. In fact, she becomes more empowered at work. She becomes even closer to her husband. Overall, the affair actually makes her life better.

And here's the thing...I think a movie about a woman who cheats on her spouse and doesn't end up horrifically punished is kind of great because our culture treats cheating like it's a crime worse than murder and that is insane. We especially see female infidelity as grotesque. Don't get it twisted: I do believe that infidelity is wrong and very damaging to relationships. But I've always felt like *some* people are sexually jealous to the point where it's scary and, guess what, women get killed over sexual jealousy. 

But! I do feel that Babygirl is insufficiently critical of the fact that Romy is fucking her intern. The power dynamic gets brought up a couple times, but then is dismissed because Samuel himself says that he does not feel used or take advantage of by Romy. 

I found this...maybe not troubling, but morally ambiguous in a really lazy way. For all the realism about sex in Babygirl, something rings false about the movie. It's all just tied up a little too neatly in a bow at the end. Perhaps, like Romy with her husband, I was left unsatisfied and unfulfilled by a movie I thought would be blisteringly hot and heart pounding.

That said, Babygirl isn't a bad movie and Nicole Kidman is excellent in it (as she always is). I think if you go into the movie not expecting a high-stakes thriller and instead prepare to see some awkward and fumbling sex, you'd probably enjoy it!

Grade: B

Wicked

I had no intention of seeing Wicked: Part One because I have never seen the stage version and it's just not the kind of film that would normally be on my radar (a fantasy musical). But when the reviews started pouring in--almost all of them positive, even glowing--and my mom expressed interest in seeing the movie, I went ahead and gave it a watch. And I'm so glad I did! Wicked is a delight and quite relevant to our current moment (despite the source material, the novel, being 30 years old). 

Directed by Jon M. Chu, Wicked: Part One is a feast for the senses. Paying homage to the 1939 film The Wizard of Oz, Wicked is absolutely saturated with gorgeous color and packed with detail, from intricate and unique outfits for every extra to easter eggs referencing the L. Frank Baum novel and the 1939 film. It's a film that rewards multiple viewings, including viewings at home where you can pause and examine individual frames.

Ariana Grande-Butera plays Glinda (formerly "Galinda") Upland, whom we are introduced to as she travels in her little bubble to Munchkinland to inform the residents that, indeed, the Wicked Witch of the West is dead. When a Munchkin inquires if the rumors are true that Glinda was friends with the Witch, Glinda ushers us into the story of how the Wicked Witch came to be...

The product of an affair, Elphaba Thropp was rejected by her father, the mayor of Munchkinland, at birth when she came out the womb with green skin. Despite being tormented by children and unloved by her father, Elphaba still had the capability to love others, namely her wheelchair-bound sister Nessarose. When Nessarose begins school at Shiz, a university in Oz (I looked it up and can't figure out why it's named "Shiz"), Elphaba's father demands that Elphaba (played by Cynthia Ervio) stay and look after her sister (who is the apple of her father's eye), despite Nessarose's desire for independence. 

Though Elphaba balks at this, she accidentally reveals incredible power during a moment of anger and a well-respected professor, Madame Morrible (Michelle Yeoh), convinces Elphaba to enroll at Shiz and take private sorcery lessons with her. Oh, and she forces Galinda and Elphaba to room together. 

For a long time, Elphaba is at best ignored and at worst mocked and humiliated by the students of Shiz, including the incredibly beautiful and popular Galinda. But after a moment of public humiliation caused by Galinda, the so-called Good Witch has a change of heart and decides to become friends with Elphaba and take her under her wing.

The friendship (or frenemyship) between Galinda and Elphaba is THE reason to see this movie. First of all, yes there is a ton of sapphic subtext. Or maybe just text. Wicked is a very gay movie, as is to be expected given that it's 1) a musical and 2) about the Wizard of Oz, a famously gay story. But the relationship between the two women isn't pure. There is condescension on Galinda's side and resentment on Elphaba's side. And yet...there really is love between the women even though they are destined to be turned against one another. I loved how complex their relationship was.

Without going into too much detail, there is a conspiracy afoot in Oz. Whereas previously animals could speak and hold jobs, just like humans, a rising tide of bias and hate against animals leads to the firing of all animal professors at Shiz. Most of the students don't care, but Elphaba, who develops a friendship with Professor Dillamond, a goat (voiced by Peter Dinklage), is horrified and disgusted. She knows what it's like to be scorned and treated like garbage. 

Elphaba's quest to meet the Wizard, once motivated by her desire to be seen and accepted, is now motivated by a desire to help the animals. But the pinnacle of Elphaba's triumph, where she discovers just how powerful she is, is poisoned with disappointment when she realizes just who is behind the bigotry against the animals of Oz. And how pathetic the Wizard really is. This brings us to the song which defines the musical--"Defying Gravity"--and the point at which Elphaba is declared to be a wicked woman. She is too powerful, too dangerous, and those already in power must turn the tide of public opinion against her. And that's where part one ends.

Wicked walks this perfect balance of being both light and dark, current and timeless, frilly and serious. I haven't read the Oz books by L. Frank Baum, but I do love The Wizard of Oz, and there are lots of references and homages woven into the story. I enjoyed the musical numbers, particularly "Dancing Through Life", "Popular", and "Defying Gravity"...and both Ervio and Grande-Butera have incredibly powerful singing voices. Unless you genuinely hate musicals or The Wizard of Oz, I feel like you're going to find something to love about Wicked.

Really glad I stepped outside of my comfort zone to see Wicked on the big screen. It's one of the most thrilling movies of the year and I am psyched to see part two in 2025.

Grade: A-

Stuff I watched in...November, 2024

A Different Man

It's best to go into this dark, unsettling comedy knowing as little as possible, but you might need to know something about the movie to be enticed to see it. Written and directed by Aaron Schimberg, A Different Man tells the story of Edward (Sebastian Stan), a man with severe facial deformities (neurofibromatosis, to be specific) who ekes out a living acting in educational videos about how to treat coworkers with deformities. He lives in a small, crappy apartment and endures people taunting him or, weirdly, "recognizing" him and being overly friendly.

Edward partakes in a medical treatment that cures him, giving him a "normal" face. He reinvents his life, going by "Guy" now and working as a real estate agent. But when he discovers that his previous neighbor, a playwright, is working on a production about the deformed man she once lived next door to...he has to get involved.

A Different Man takes some VERY unexpected turns. I won't go into plot detail, but I will say that about halfway through, Oswald, played by an actor with actual facial deformities, Adam Pearson, shows up. Oswald is funny, charismatic, personable, intelligent...all the things that Edward/Guy never was and still isn't, despite his medical treatment. On the one hand, this film seems to suggest that if you have a shitty, boring personality your looks don't matter--you could be ugly or beautiful, but people won't want to be around you because you inherently suck. On the other hand, I don't think the writer/director *actually* believes this (anyone not living under a rock knows that a handsome face can get you nearly anything you want). While not fantasy or science-fiction, A Different Man takes a few liberties with reality, making the film feel like a satirical fairytale. A reverse "Beauty and the Beast" if you will.

Anyway, that's enough information to go on. I highly recommend this uncomfortable, strange film that explores identity in a really unique way. It's a great (although much more low key) companion piece to The Substance.

Grade: A-

***

The Shawshank Redemption

It's unbelievable that it took nearly 39 years for me to watch one of the most beloved films of all time. However, I did read the novella, penned by Stephen King, that the movie is based on so I pretty much knew the entire plot going in. Still, it was well worth the watch. The Shawshank Redemption, directed by Frank Darabont and starring Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman, lives up to its reputation as a wonderful, heart-wrenching film about an innocent man serving a life sentence in prison who finds not just one reason, but many reasons to keep living and not give up.

I probably don't have to go into the plot since I'm literally the last person on planet Earth to watch this movie. I really appreciate the role that books and libraries play in the film. I truly believe in the power of reading and information, so much so that I dedicated by career to it. It's awesome that Andy Dufresne finds his salvation in a prison library. 

The Shawshank Redemption, similarly to another favorite of mine, It's a Wonderful Life, is a movie that feels old fashioned and nostalgic--conservative, even--but is actually pretty radical at its core. Just as It's a Wonderful Life can be read as a screed against capitalism, The Shawshank Redemption can be read as prison-abolition film. Given Stephen King's politics, I'm not surprised the tale really sticks it to the man (specifically, the greedy and cruel prison warden) in the end. But politics aside, it's just a damn good movie and I'm glad I watched it. 

Grade: A+

***

Dead Poets Society

Dead Poets Society is a very, very nostalgic film for me and one of my all-time favorites. In recent years, the movie has been the subject of some critical opinion pieces that argue that it does not do justice to the humanities and that any English major worth their salt should see it as a sappy and reductionist film.

Good thing I wasn't an English major!

Look, DPL absolutely feels dated, and for many reasons. The argument that John Keating (Robin Williams in one of his most affecting roles) is a reckless and self-important teacher is a legitimate one. He is, of course, the person who encourages Neil Perry (Robert Sean Leonard) to simply tell his hard ass father (played by the excellent Kurtwood Smith) about his passion for acting and OF COURSE dad will magically understand. This leads to Neil playing the role of Puck in a production of A Midsummer Night's Dream, deliberately disobeying his father and getting pulled out of Welton Academy by the domineering old man. Which leads to Neil taking his own life. John Keating is indirectly responsible for Neil's death. 

But, with age and experience, I appreciate how Dead Poets Society sits in moral ambiguity, with John Keating as both a hero *and* a villain. Or, not exactly a villain, but in many ways just as hard-headed as the stuffy old men who run Welton Academy. Keating has his agenda which works on many of the young men in the movie, namely Todd Anderson (Ethan Hawke), a shy boy trying to get out from under the shadow of his older brother, a well-known alum of Welton. But Keating's agenda fails Neil Perry. The whole system fails Neil Perry. Keating, his father, his mother, and Welton itself. 

Art and poetry do not save Neil Perry. But art and poetry absolutely do save lives and make life worth living. These two facts sit at the center of a film that is both a tragedy and a triumph. And while the boys of Welton focus on the many well-known Dead (White, Male) Poets--Whitman, Thoreau, Frost, and Herrick among others--if you substitute an artist who changed YOUR life when you were 16 or 17 years old, the scenes of mirth, joy, secrecy, and danger we see when the young men gather in the cave to hold their meetings can feel very familiar and very personal.

Dead Poets Society, like Welton Academy, can feel stodgy through a modern lens. But if you let it, it can also allow you to access those feelings of wonder and excitement you found in discovering Radiohead or Godard or Anais Nin or whatever the fuck turned your mental and emotional crank as a teenager. I love this movie and I will sound my barbaric yawp to defend it to the death.

Grade: A+

***

Schindler's List

Good lord, this is a tough one. The last (and only) time I watched Schindler's List was when it aired unedited on TV in 1997. I think. I mean, I definitely watched it was when I was young-ish and have not watched it since because it seems masochistic and sick to revisit such a heartrending film. 

But I did revisit it, and what is there to say? It's a masterpiece. To say that Steven Spielberg's Oscar-winning film is about "the Holocaust" is accurate...but it's really a movie that focuses on the moral arc of, well, a member of the Nazi Party, Oskar Schindler. Played by Liam Neeson, Schindler is more into money and women than anything else. At least as he is portrayed in the movie, he doesn't really care about Jewish people or their plight in Nazi-dominated Poland. But he doesn't really hate them either. If he can use them for cheap labor in his factory, he's cool with that. There's a darkly funny scene where Schindler's Jewish accountant, Itzhak Stern (played beautifully by Ben Kingsley), nearly gets put on a train going god knows where because he forgot his papers before heading to work one day. Schindler figures it out in the nick of time and gets him off this train. Schindler says to him, "What if I had been 5 minutes later? Then where would I be!?" to Stern. 

As the war goes on, and particularly after witnessing a massacre at the Krakow Ghetto, Schindler realizes that his own Nazi Party might be a little...fucked up. Using his connections and his power of persuasion, he is able to build a factory at Plaszow concentration camp, hiring many of the people who previously worked for him who were sent to the camp. By the end of the war, Schindler was basically subverting the Nazis as much as he could and he spent all his money doing so. The film has that famous scene where Schindler agonizes that he "could have saved more" if he had been even more savvy or brave. Don't judge me, because this is the most stereotypical movie scene of all time to get teary-eyed over, BUT I GOT FUCKING TEARY-EYED. That haunting score by John Williams just kicks in and the waterworks start. 

Schindler's List is a movie about genocide through the eyes and experience of a member of the genocidal party. This cannot be denied. And there are many other films and documentaries that capture the experience of survivors themselves and those are so important. But for what Schindler's List is, it does it so well. It's a movie about a man who moves from a privileged position of not caring to a position of caring to a position of active political sabotage that could cost him his life. I think that's a worthy story to tell. Movies about historical atrocities are so fucking difficult because how can you possibly capture the enormity of human evil in a two hour film? But I think Spielberg does an excellent job here and it's a film worth revisiting.

Grade: A+

***

Conclave

I saw this film, about Catholic Cardinals being messy, dramatic bitches, the day after the election and it held my attention long enough to briefly forget the shitshow that our country has become. 

Starring all your absolute favorite old white men--Ralph Fiennes, John Lithgow, and Stanley Tucci--Conclave is about the process of electing the next Pope when the previous Pope has died. And all the wheelings and dealing that go into this supposedly divine process. 

I'm not Catholic...or religious...so it all seems like a bunch of hooey and hokum to me. But damn, it makes for compelling watching. "Real Housewives of the Vatican". Fiennes plays Cardinal Thomas Lawrence, the convener of the conclave, in which a bunch of Cardinals lock themselves in a building until they have a majority vote on the next Pope. Lawrence is friends with Cardinal Bellini (Tucci), a very liberal potential Pope who would in theory guide the Church towards a more open mind towards women and gays. He is up against a more traditionalist Italian Cardinal, Tedesco (Sergio Castellitto) and a very socially conservative Nigerian Cardinal, Adeyemi (Lucian Msamati). There is a lot of bitching and backstabbing, uncovering of secrets and indiscretions, scheming and strategizing. 

There is a "twist" at the end which I found pretty unnecessary and I think probably took away from the movie more than it added to it, but overall Conclave is a fun, gossipy thriller of a movie. It's also a reminder of how many people in the world allow a small group of egotistical, vain men decide how to live their lives under the guise of "God's will", which is really sad. 

Grade: B+

***

Face/Off

I don't know what I expected from this John Woo joint starring Nicholas Cage and John Travolta, but wow. Just wow. I was flabbergasted by what I witnessed. I knew the premise of the film and assumed it would be a little more scientific...but no. There are so many plot holes and improbabilities in the film that it may as well be a fantasy movie. And once you accept what it is, you're in for a good time.

Face/Off is an objectively terrible movie...but it's SO fun. Seeing John Travolta "do" Nic Cage and Cage "do" John Travolta is really enjoyable (and proves that Cage is the superior actor, in my opinion). It's also so sleazy, with Cage's bad-guy character, Castor Troy, sleeping with the wife of his nemesis, Sean Archer (John Travolta), as well as ogling Archer's teenager daughter. It's all the weirder since it's John Travolta acting as Castor acting as Sean (after Castor steals Sean's face). This movie is a fucking M.C. Escher painting. 

This is a difficult movie to grade because it's a "so bad it's good" viewing experience. The movie itself is like a D+, but the viewing experience is an A-....so we'll go with a nice, middle-of-the-road B-. But trust, Face/Off is well worth seeing if you want to watch a ridiculous mindfuck of a film.

Grade: B-

***

Moonstruck

Directed by Norman Jewison, this classic romance starring Cher as a widow and Nicolas Cage as her lover (and the younger brother of her fiance), fell really flat for me. I mean, it's fine. I don't think it's particularly romantic or particularly funny. Most of the humor rests on Italian stereotypes of loud families and hot-blooded romance...but, frankly, My Big Fat Greek Wedding did is better with a couple you actually want to root for. Loretta (Cher) and Ronny (Cage) don't have that much chemistry and their relationship is kind of icky. Not offensively so (even though Loretta is cheating on her boring-ass fiance), just in a "I'm not that into it" kind of way. They fuck like 10 minutes after meeting, and I 100% didn't buy it.

I'm gonna say it: Moonstruck is hugely overrated! 

Grade: C+

***

My Old Ass

Directed by Megan Park and starring Maisey Stella in a wonderful film debut, My Old Ass is a comforting, yet bittersweet film that begs the question: if your older self and younger self met, what advice would they give each other?

Elliott (Stella) has just turned 18 and is spending her last summer working on her family's cranberry farm before she leaves for bigger and better things. To celebrate her bday, she and her friends take a camping trip and do mushrooms. While under the influence of the shrooms, Elliott meets her 39 year old self (played by Aubrey Plaza). Older Elliott puts her phone number in younger Elliott's phone and even after the shrooms wear off, young Elliott finds she can call and text old Elliott!

She asks old Elliott for life advice, but all that old Elliott can do is warn her to avoid a guy named Chad. Well, it just so happens that Chad (Percy Hynes White) is working at the cranberry farm that summer...and he's a lovely guy. Young Elliott doesn't understand why old Elliott is warning her off of this guy, and the audience spends most of the movie waiting for the other shoe to drop.

But My Old Ass is about much more than the Chad plot line. It's about how your older self only knows the "right" and "wrong" way to live your life because your younger self made mistakes. It's about the bittersweet truth that life can only be lived in one direction, which is exactly what makes life meaningful: you CAN'T go back and correct so-called "mistakes". You can learn from them, but you can't relive the past.

Old Elliott is 39 years old. I will be 39 in a few weeks. This movie is aimed at people my age because the point of being young is that you never think you'll get old. And before you know it, you are your own old ass. But that's not a bad thing because you need both your young ass and your old ass in order to be your full self. And young Elliott has words of wisdom for old Elliott too, because young asses can be very wise.

Grade: B+

***

Heretic

This much anticipated psychological horror film starring Hugh Grant in a villain role started strong, but got progressively less interesting as the film went on. Still, it was a very entertaining watch. Sophie Thatcher and Chloe East play Sister Barnes and Sister Paxton, Mormon missionaries who arrive at the home of Mr. Reed (Grant), a harmless looking man who invites them in and tells them that his wife is in the kitchen baking a pie.

Reed initially seems interested and knowledgeable about the Church of Latter Day Saints, but eventually begins to ask the young women challenging questions about their faith. The turning point in their conversation is when he asks them about polygamy. Sister Barnes explains that the belief in polygamy served the early church when there was a need for population growth but that now the LDS knows better. Reed counters that Joseph Smith wanted to have consequence free sex with a lot of women and used his power to take advantage.

Barnes, the more worldly of the two women, starts to realize that something is wrong when she sees a scented candle and deduces that there is no pie...and probably no Mrs. Reed, either. But when she and Paxton attempt to leave, they find that they are locked in and that their phones don't work. Reed pulls out the big (intellectual) guns and forces the women to listen to his lengthy explanation that religions are just iterations of one another--copying and stealing from previous beliefs, much like Radiohead copied The Hollies and Lana Del Ray copied Radiohead. He then forces the women to choose between a door labeled "Belief" and a door labeled "Disbelief".

I think many people will go into Heretic thinking that it's a different kind of movie and will therefore be disappointed and annoyed that the first half of the film is essentially a older man lecturing two younger women about why their religious beliefs are bullshit. I actually enjoyed this half of the movie more, mostly due to Grant's performance as a genteel, mansplaining villain. It was interesting to both agree (mostly) with Reed's intellectual argument while also disavowing how he makes his argument. I do believe that religions are iterations of one another, which begs the question: how do you know that your religious beliefs are the "right" ones? But I also think trapping women in a house to force them to reckon with this is, uh, shitty.

Heretic loses me in the final act when the film morphs into something we've seen in a million movies before. I won't give it away here, but let me just say that I think the final revelations blew it for me. However, the experience of watching the movie was very entertaining. I can't see myself watching it again, but I am hype to watch a YouTube video essay about it from the POV of a former Mormon missionary!

Grade: B

***

Say Nothing (TV series)

Based on the critically acclaimed book by Patrick Radden Keefe, this show (streaming on Hulu) is about the Troubles in Northern Ireland and specifically about two sisters, Dolours and Marian Price, who worked for the Irish Republican Army in the 1970s and 1980s. 

There is a LOT to cover in 9 episodes and I feel that the show didn't spend enough time helping the audience understand why the IRA engaged in so much violence for decades. I know a little about the Troubles, but not a lot, and I know there is a lot of nuance to the situation in Northern Ireland, but for someone who knows nothing, I think it's going to be difficult for them to empathize with the sisters who are willing to harm and even kill anyone and everyone in service to "the cause". 

One aspect of the Troubles Say Nothing explores is how easily a just cause can turn into a cult of personality with the head honchos directing people to kill without ever pulling the trigger themselves. The man who orders the execution never drops the blade, does he? The show explores the role Gerry Adams played in the IRA and his eventual disavowal and denial that he had any involvement as he goes into politics. You know, in many ways Say Nothing is less about the Troubles and more about human psychology and what drives people to completely rearrange their moral and ethical values if they believe (or are convinced by others) that the end justifies the means. 

I'm not a pacifist, but I also think that violence should be the nuclear option on the path to civil rights mostly because I believe that humans tend to develop a taste for it once they cross that line. If we look at examples of violent revolutions throughout history, we can see that the violence doesn't just end when the agreed upon "bad guys" are dead...people tend to move the goal posts to find new victims once they experience the power that a gun in their hand gives them. Call me a misanthrope, but I do believe that power and violence rot the soul, even (maybe especially) when the cause is just. 

Just some food for thought!

Grade: B