Sweet and Salty

 Movies: Licorice Pizza

Director Paul Thomas Anderson is really not the director for me...and yet...I really WANT him to be the director for me. Boogie Nights is the only movie he's directed that I genuinely LOVE, and it took multiple viewings to get there. I've also seen Punch-Drunk Love, Magnolia, There Will Be Blood, The Master, and Phantom Thread. These are all excellent films. But they're hard to warm up to. They're mostly about men, specifically men who range from immature to hard-to-love to straight-up sociopathic. PTA's movies read to me as horror films masquerading as drama. And I like horror, but there is something incredibly unsettling about all his films that makes them very uncomfortable to watch.

PTA's latest, Licorice Pizza, seems like an easy movie to love. Set in 1973 in the San Fernando Valley, the film focuses on the friendship between 25 year old Alana (Alana Haim, best known for being a member of Haim) and 15-going on-16 year old Gary Valentine (Cooper Hoffman, son of late, great Philip Seymour Hoffman). The two meet as Gary is getting his high school picture taken--Alana works for the company that takes the photos. They engage in a natural, easy banter. It's clear that Gary has a crush on Alana, who informs him that it would be "illegal" for them to be together.

The rest of the film chronicles their adventures separately and apart. Gary is a child actor and entrepreneur who is constantly coming up with harebrained business schemes, such as selling waterbeds, to make a quick buck. Alana is still living at home with her parents and desperately trying to leave the nest and also get men to like her. It was clear, at least to me, that Alana's self-esteem is shit. And I think that's why she keeps finding herself drawn to a non-legal teenager who thinks she's hot.

Guys, look. The age gap thing is fucking weird. And this is coming from someone who defends the age gap in Call Me By Your Name (which is 17/24, which feels worlds different than 15/25) It also feels sooooo unnecessary to the film. Everything about Alana screams "18 or 19 year old". She looks young, she's immature and unsure of herself, she lives with her parents, etc. Why couldn't PTA have made her just a tich younger. Even a 15/19 age gap would feel much less gross and made a lot more sense.

I think both the age gap and Alana's immaturity really made it difficult to enjoy this movie. While the two don't kiss until the very end...they do in fact kiss, which suggests that they will do more. And while I would say I am not quite as hard line against relationships between older teens and young 20-somethings, this is honestly a romance you can't feel good about. Alana only wants to be with Gary because he thinks she's pretty and because men her own age and older have failed her. And that's a sad basis for a romance right there. Is Alana a predator? Perhaps! But I think she is just a sad person more than anything else.

I still have to give the movie a B rating because it has many genuinely hilarious moments. There's a scene where Alana and Gary install a waterbed in the home of Jon Peters (a real life film producer), played by Bradley Cooper. Cooper plays Peters as a narcissistic psycho who tells Gary that if they fuck up his house he will kill his entire family. They end up fucking up his house and then fucking up his car, only to run out of gas with their giant truck parked right next to the car, forcing Alana to put the truck in neutral and go backwards down a giant, curving hill using only momentum. It's a great scene. 

Other scenes are not so great, such as a weird joke where a white guy who owns a Japanese restaurant that Gary frequents uses a "Japanese accent" to ask his (non-English speaking) Japanese wife what she thinks about various marketing strategies for the restaurant. This is another unnecessary, offensive thing about this movie. Also, Sean Penn is in the movie and he just straight-up sucks. I think what is really disappointing about Licorice Pizza is that the *potential* for a truly great movie is there--great acting, funny script, and a generally loose, fun vibe all around. But between the age gap romance, the casually racist jokes, and other dumb directorial choices, the film simply doesn't live up to it's potential.

I'm giving it a B, but it's a low B. 

Grade: B

Stuff I watched in...December 2021, pt. 1

Dopesick

The limited series, Dopesick, which is based on the book by Beth Macy, is an at times painfully sincere examination of the opioid crisis in the United States and the role Purdue Pharma played in getting America hooked on painkillers.

The series clearly aims to educate the audience, explaining in no uncertain terms how anyone can become addicted, that addiction is a disease and not a moral failing, and that opioids in particular are a real bitch to recover from. The only thing keeping my grade below an "A" level is that there are times when the show feels a bit like an after school special, holding the audience's hand in laying out what and how this all happened.

That said, it's still a damn good series. The acting is beyond excellent with vulnerable, heartbreaking performances by Kaitlyn Dever as Betsy Mallum, a young, queer woman who gets hooked on Oxycontin after a mining injury, and Michael Keaton as Samuel Finnix, Betsy's doctor who is haunted by the fact that he prescribed Oxy to his patients and who eventually becomes an addict himself. Additionally, performances by Peter Sarsgaard, Rosario Dawson, Will Poulter, and Michael Stuhlbarg (as Richard Sackler) round out a wall-to-wall excellent cast. In addition to the acting, the story itself is fascinating. How Purdue got away with causing so much damage for so long is infuriating and that they were able to continue pumping out this incredibly dangerous drug while blaming "drug addicts" for abusing the product really speaks to America's history of punishing sick people while rewarding those who are addicted to greed and money.

Dopesick is well worth the watch.

Grade: B+

***

The Power of the Dog

The Power of the Dog, director Jane Campion's first film in 12 years, is not a particularly violent film. Yet the film suggests that violence could break out at any moment, thus keeping the audience on the edge of their seat for the 2+ hour runtime. 

Taking place in Montana in the mid-1920s, The Power of the Dog focuses on two brothers, Phil Burbank (Benedict Cumberbatch) and George Burbank (Jesse Plemmons), who own a ranch (and much wealth). Phil is basically a sociopath who calls his brother "fatso" and has scorn for anything remotely feminine. When the men stop at a inn and meet widow Rose (Kirsten Dunst) and her teenage son Peter (Kodi Smit-McPhee), Phil mocks Peter's effeminate manner, causing Rose to cry. George comforts Rose and later he returns to propose. The two are married (fun fact: Plemmons and Dunst are married in real life) and move to George's ranch.

Phil continues to torment Rose in small but cruel ways, eventually leading her to turn to drinking. Peter goes away to college, but when he comes back for the summer, Phil seems to have changed his tune and takes the young man under his wing, teaching him the ways of the ranch. As I mention above, the film seems to promise violence--the score, by Johnny Greenwood, is filled with queasy violins that suggest a horror film; Cumberbatch's acting reminds one of an abuser--at any moment, he could explode or land a devastating insult about the very thing you're most insecure about. If there is one word to describe The Power of the Dog it's "tense". 

I won't reveal what happens, but The Power of the Dog is a very good film that rewards the viewer's patience.

Grade: B+

***

The Fly (1986)

David Cronenberg's iconic body horror film, starring the incomparable Jeff Goldblum, was a blindspot for me--something I've been meaning to watch for years and never got around to it until now. At first, I was skeptical. The movie starts out a bit clunky and I thought "well, this just feels like a very cheesy, dated film". But after Seth Brundle's (Goldblum) DNA mixes with that of a housefly, shit gets wild.

The movie was WAY grosser than I thought it would be, and trust, I was prepared for grossness. Between watching Seth pull out his fingernails as his body begins to transform and watching him vomit on his food in order to eat it, I was grossed out. The Fly is probably one of the top films you think of when you think "body horror", and it more than earns its place.

In addition to being gross, The Fly went places I did not expect. I figure the spoiler statue of limitations is up on this 35 year old film, so I can say that I wasn't expecting a fucking abortion subplot to be in this movie! I mean, I admit that the first thing I thought up when Seth and Veronica (Geena Davis) hook up is "heh heh, what if she gets pregnant with his fly-baby?"). WELP. Additionally, I was not expecting the final scene, in which Seth wordlessly begs Veronica to kill him, to hit me so hard in the feels. Even though he is utterly monstrous at this point, you still feel bad for the fly-man. 

Cronenberg, as usual, knocks it out of the park. The Fly lives up to the...buzz. 

Grade: A-

***

Honeydew

And now for a not-so-great horror movie. Recently released on Shudder, I had heard about Honeydew nearly a year ago and was super excited to watch it, only to forget about it completely. Honeydew is one of those movies about rednecks and how they'll fucking kill you. The film owes a LOT to Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but is not nearly as good.

A couple, botanist Rylie (Malin Barr) and aspiring actor Sam (Sawyer Spielberg--yes, son of Steven), are traveling in New England so that Rylie can study a type of fungus that, if consumed, can make people go insane (pretty obvious Chekhov's gun there). Their car breaks down, so they set up a tent to sleep, only to be booted out by a farmer who claims they are on his property. They walk to a nearby house, where an elderly woman lives with her mentally disabled son. She offers them a room in the basement to stay the night, and of course the two end up wandering around the house and, well, things go horribly wrong.

Honeydew is a very predictable movie that hits on all the cliches: broken down car, creepy old people who live in a rural area, protagonists who can't mind their own business and end up wandering into trouble, a close call with the cops, etc etc. The minute you find out that this fungus that Rylie is studying can make people go insane if they eat it, I was like "ok, so these old rednecks are eating wheat contaminated with the fungus and are crazy. Got it". When Rylie reveals she is vegan when the old woman, Karen, tries to feed her and Sam, I was like "I bet this bitch is either going to be made to eat human meat, or will be eaten herself". Nailed it! And you might think, "well, how did you know cannibalism would be part of this movie in the first place?" Oh come on, it was so obvious. Horror movie about rednecks called Honeydew? Of course it's going to have cannibalism in it! This isn't my first rodeo.

So, while Honeydew is laughably obvious and predictable, I will give it credit for being really gross. And not in a gory way, but just in an "unclean house" way. Watching this movie is like taking your socks off in a gym changing room and accidentally stepping in water--it just makes you cringe and feel icky. But other than that, Honeydew doesn't have much to offer.

Grade: C+

***

Frozen (2010)

Nope, not the movie starring Olaf! Frozen is a 2010 horror/thriller about three people who get stuck on a ski lift. I heard about it from a YouTube channel called Possessed by Horror. She loves this movie and mentions it all the time, so I thought I'd check it out. Well, it was pretty bad.

Dan, Joe, and Parker are friends who go to a ski resort. When the resort is closing up, they beg the ski lift operator to let them go up the mountain one more time. He reluctantly agrees. Due to a miscommunication, another operator thinks all visitors have made it down the mountain and shuts off the lift, with the three friends stuck on the lift wayyyy up high and the resort shutting down around them. And the resort will be closed until the following weekend. Basically, they will freeze to death if they can't find a way down.

I found Frozen to be boring. The acting was mediocre, the attempts to add personality to the characters by having them talk about memories and personal anecdotes was tedious. It wasn't scary, it wasn't sad. It was just a whole lot of "meh", and I even fast-forwarded part of it. 

I definitely can't recommend this one unless the premise really interests you. I think with better acting and a better script, it could have been more entertaining (and similar to something like 127 Hours), but it just didn't have the right stuff.

Grade: C-

***