Stuff I watched in...February, 2025

The Monkey

Based on a short story by Stephen King and directed by Osgood "Oz" Perkins, The Monkey was a very fun surprise. Perkins's previous films have been humorless (The Blackcoat's Daughter) and terrifying (Longlegs)...but The Monkey is not scary and absurdly hilarious.

Twin brothers, Hal and Bill Shelburn (played by Christian Convery as children and Theo James as adults), discover a toy monkey amongst their absent father's belongings. They quickly realize that if they wind the monkey up and it beats on a drum, someone will die. Usually someone in close proximity to the toy, but never the person who wound it up...and the monkey doesn't take requests.

A tragic death caused by Hal winding the monkey up in an attempt to kill Bill tears the brothers apart and they become estranged. 25 years later, Hal is half-heartedly trying to form a relationship with his own son, Petey (Colin O'Brien), when he gets a call from Bill alerting him to the fact that the monkey is back and wrecking havoc again. But Bill has always been an asshole at best and a downtight psychopath at worst, so Hal is wary of trusting him.

As the bodies stack up in very gruesome and hilarious ways, Hal has to figure out how to protect his son--and how to be the dad to Petey that his dad never was to him and Bill.

The Monkey is not a serious movie. It's a horror-comedy with emphasis on the comedy. It's also just a really strange and often absurd film. Theo James cracked me up in the twin role of Bill and Hal...James is a very conventionally handsome man with a voice that commands authority, yet he plays one guy as a sad-sack fuck-up of a father and another guy as a mulletted, reclusive nutcase. It was just very fun to see an actor with gravitas go fully silly. 

While The Monkey is certainly not great art, it is pretty fun entertainment. And it makes me wonder what project Oz Perkins will choose next.

Grade: B

***

The Vourdalak

This strange, goofy gothic horror movie is directed by Adrien Beau and can be found streaming on Shudder. Taking place in the 18th century, it follows Marquis Jacques Antoine Saturnin d'Urfe, an emissary of the King of France who finds himself robbed of his horse and possessions somewhere in Eastern Europe while traveling back to France. A local man suggests he seek out the house of Gorcha, a man who will loan him a horse.

He locates Gorcha's estate and meets the man's strange family, but the man himself is away at war. When Gorcha returns, he has turned into a vourdalak--an Eastern European vampire who specifically craves the blood of the people it loves and desires to turn its family into vourdalaks. Well, this is exactly what happens during the rest of the movie. 

Gorcha the vourdalak is played by a skeletal looking puppet, which is very creepy. The film feels delightfully retro (reminding me a bit of the films of Peter Strickland) and weird. If you're looking for a more obscure horror/vampire film that's not particularly gory (though is quite cruel), check this one out.

Grade: B

***

Memento

I hadn't seen Christopher Nolan's backwards-flowing neo-noir since high school, so I gave it a rewatch. It's not Nolan's best (that would be The Prestige), but it holds up well and the gimmick of the movie playing out in reverse is still a great one. 

Guy Pearce, in a breakout role, plays Leonard Shelby, a man who lost his ability to form short-term memories after a brutal attack in which the attacker raped and killed Leonard's wife. Since the attack, Leonard's only motivation in life is to find the attacker--named John G. or James G.--and kill him. To remember his purpose, Leonard tattoos clues on his body. He also takes polaroid pictures of people and places he needs to remember, such as the motel he lives in and the people he trusts (or doesn't) to give him information. Of course, people can very easily manipulate Leonard once they know about his condition.

Co-starring Carrie-Anne Moss and Joe Pantoliano as people who may or may not have Leonard's best interests at heart, Memento is gritty and depressing. Before the attack, Leonard was an insurance claims investigator and he investigated the claim of one Sammy Jenkins (Stephen Tobolowsky), another man with anterograde amnesia. Leonard rejected Jenkins' insurance claim after investigating the case and concluding that Jenkins' amnesia was psychological and that if he just tried hard enough, Jenkins could recover his memory. 

Boy, the whole denial of insurance angle hits different in 2025, making the viewer kinda hate Leonard. But even if we didn't live in a post-Luigi world, Memento still would be a film with no true heroes--only people out to get money or revenge. 

Guy Pearce is excellent in Memento (not to mention: HOT). After watching his excellent turn in this year's The Brutalist, I want to go on a Guy kick and watch some of his other films. This was a good place to start.

Grade: B+

***

Minority Report

Even though it was a pretty popular movie when it came out in 2002, I never watched Steven Spielberg's Minority Report until now. And I was underwhelmed. Mostly because I thought the acting in this science-fiction film was extremely mid. I think Tom Cruise is a bad actor. The only movies I've ever enjoyed his acting in are Born on the Fourth of July and Eyes Wide Shut (and in the case of the latter, his stiff and awkward acting is perfect for his role in that movie). Minority Report didn't change my opinion. Cruise is a snooze. But, sadly, so are most of the other actors in this film--including Colin Farrell and Samantha Morton. 

The premise of Minority Report is interesting. In the future, a group of psychics can see a crime--specifically, murder--before it happens, allowing law enforcement to arrest people before they kill someone. The idea of arresting someone when they technically haven't done anything is a juicy can of worms, philosophically and legally, but the movie doesn't really explore the ethical implications of "precrime"...it just sends Tom Cruise, the head cop in the Precrime department, on a chase to figure out what's going on when the psychics see *him* commit a murder in their visions. 

There were definitely some great scenes and moments in Minority Report, but in the end the movie was both too twisty and too wrapped up neatly for me to enjoy it. It's very Spielbergian, by which I mean that it's safe and predictable. To be clear, I'm not saying I don't like Spielberg's movies...just that they are the meatloaf and mashed potatoes of movies, if you catch my drift. He's basic. And Minority Report is a fascinating idea made basic. 

Grade: B-

***

Rope

I first watched Rope when I was on a "classic movies" kick in high school and I thought it was extremely boring. Thank goodness my taste has improved since then. This short and not-so-sweet Hitchcock film follows two (TOTALLY NOT GAY) friends who kill a classmate of theirs for the (TOTALLY NOT EROTIC) thrill of it. And then they put his body in a wooden chest and host a dinner party, inviting the dead man's parents and fiance. 

The two men, Brandon Shaw (John Dall) and Phillip Morgan (Farley Granger), also invite their old prep-school housemaster, Rupert Cadell (James Stewart), the man who supposedly inspired the murder by instilling a love of Nietzschean philosophy in the boys. They believe that he's the only man who would understand their desire to kill someone just because they can. Turns out, Cadell is the only man who figures out why Brandon and Phillip are acting so strangely (AND IT'S NOT BECAUSE THEY'RE HIDING THEIR GAY LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER SO STOP ASKING ABOUT THAT!!!).

Rope is a great example of why Hitchcock was known as the Master of Suspense. Nothing particularly violent happens in the movie. But the entire runtime (a slim 80 minutes), your eyes are always on that wooden chest: who is near it, who is looking at it, and who might inadvertently open it. Hitchcock didn't need violence...hell, he didn't even need much of a plot...to get hearts racing. Rope is thrill ride that takes place in one location and only has 10 camera cuts. Truly a remarkable feat, and well worth the watch.

Grade: A

***

Strangers on a Train

Here is another Hitchcock film, and one I hadn't seen before. Farley Granger is back as tennis star Guy Haines, who has a run in with a strange man named Bruno Antony (Robert Walker) on a train. Antony talks Guy's ear off before engaging him in a discussion about how to get away with murder: simply swap murders with a stranger. Since the police always look at motive when someone is murdered, if a stranger kills the person whom you want dead and you've got a solid alibi...well, you'll get away with it.

Guy sort of does that "Oh, yeah, haha, very interesting" thing that you do when a lunatic is talking to you on public transport and then leaves, thinking nothing more of Bruno Antony...until Guy's unfaithful wife whom he wanted to divorce winds up dead. Guy finds himself pulled into Bruno's web of murder and deceit against his will...and he's also the main suspect in his wife's death.

Strangers on a Train is considered one of Hitchcock's best works and it earns that distinction. It's highly suspenseful but also really funny. There are some great scenes, including one of the most wild and entertaining scenes I've ever witnessed (hint: the scene involves a Merry-Go-Round on the fritz). The film really deepened my appreciation for Hitchcock and made me want to seek out more of his films.

Grade: A

Companion

Companion is the type of movie you want to go into as blind as possible. So, I'll do a very short, spoiler-free review up top followed by a full-spoiler review (after a warning) below.

Directed by Drew Hancock and produced by Zach Cregger, much ado has been made of the fact that Companion is "from the people who brought you Barbarian"...a marketing choice to entice people to attend a movie that promises to be full of twists and turns. And although there are many twists (some of them spoiled in the trailers), Companion is more of a dark comedy with horror elements than a wildly tense horror film (as Barbarian was). So for those of you who aren't crazy about horror, but enjoy thrillers, Companion is a safe movie to go see.

In a spoiler-free nutshell, Companion is about Josh (Jack Quaid) and Iris (Sophie Thatcher), a couple who are visiting Josh's friends at a huge lakehouse for a weekend of fun. Iris is insecure because she's met some of Josh's friends before and is convinced they don't like her. Josh brushes off Iris's concerns.

The friends at the lakehouse include aloof Kat (Megan Suri), her (married) boyfriend Sergey (Rupert Friend), who is also the owner of the lakehouse, Eli (Harvey Guillen), and his boyfriend Patrick (Lukas Gage). 

Things go awry. That's it. That's all I can say. I encourage you to go see it without reading anything else. There are some horror/thriller elements, as I mentioned above, but they aren't too gory or intense. Again, it's more of a dark comedy than anything else.

Grade: B+

***

AND NOW FOR THE SPOILERS!

So, people got pissed because the second trailer for Companion (and the poster!) give away the fact that Iris is a robot. A "companion" robot, to be specific. I knew this twist going in and I also knew that she was going to kill someone at some point. 

However, despite knowing the central twist, Companion was still filled with surprises. The fact that Iris is a robot is revealed about 20 minutes into the movie after she stabs Sergey in the neck with a switchblade when he attempts to assault her. Coming back to the lakehouse covered in blood, the rest of the friends freak the hell out while Iris tries to explain that she had to do it. Josh says "go to sleep, Iris" and she...powers down.

From there, we learn that this whole weekend was a setup between Josh and Kat to kill Sergey and steal from his secret safe which is filled with 12 million dollars cash (convenient!). Josh hacked Iris's system and turned her aggression levels way up and then put her in a situation where Sergey would attempt to rape her and she would fight back. All Kat and Josh need to do is turn her in to Empathix (the robot company), make up a BS excuse about how they have no idea what cause Iris to malfunction, take the money and run. Of course, things don't go as planned.

For one thing, Eli wasn't in on the plan and when he finds out what's going on, he demands a cut of the money for himself and a cut for Patrick. Josh and Kat protest, saying that Patrick doesn't deserve a cut...because he's also a robot! This is a twist that I did not see coming despite the fact that Eli and Patrick have a similar "meet cute" story to Iris and Josh (these meet cutes are programmed into the robot's memory to establish a "love link" between the robot and it's owner). Also, Patrick is a bit out of Eli's league. Still, I didn't see it coming.

Iris doesn't know she's a robot until Josh explains to her how they actually met. No, it wasn't a funny story about Josh causing a display of oranges to fall on the floor at a supermarket. In reality, Iris was brought to Josh's apartment and set to his specifications (and then they immediately fucked when Iris came online). Everything Iris knows about herself is just in her programming to make her seem more human. Hell, Josh can even increase and decrease her intelligence levels. An incel's wet dream.

Upon learning the truth, Iris is able to escape and grab Josh's phone, where she immediately goes to her own app and increases her intelligence to 100% (Josh had it set to 40% because he is The Worst). But Josh, Kat, Eli, and Patrick are on her tail, and they have a gun. They also have Patrick, who can be turned into a violent killing machine just as Iris was. Will a self-aware robot be able to outsmart humans? 

I'll stop there, but more twists and turns abound. Companion was a delightfully fun movie and although it doesn't have the weight of Get Out or The Stepford Wives, the toxic masculinity admittedly did hit a little harder given *gestures broadly*. Jack Quaid is excellent as Josh: a sweet, seemingly harmless man on the outside and a loathesome misogynist on the inside. To no one's surprise, he immediately betrays Kat, the only other woman in the movie, the minute she becomes an inconvenience to him.

Sophie Thatcher is also excellent and is entirely believable as a love doll: she is just so, so adorable, but with a deep, husky voice and a hint of shyness. Truly, any man would want her as an obedient little pet. But the minute her aggression and intelligence levels are turned up, she becomes a resourceful, courageous being. At first, she only wants to escape. But by the end, she wants revenge.

The rest of the cast is great. Harvey Guillen is hilarious as a pudgy nerd who, at the end of the day, is not much different from Josh. And Lukas Gage, similar to Thatcher, swivels from sweet puppy dog to mindless killer the minute his system is fucked with. I've been seeing Gage in more and more movies and TV shows and I'm really impressed with him. And of course Guillen, best known as Guillermo in What We Do in the Shadows, is always a delight.

I had such a fun time watching this movie. Sure, it's not going to win any awards or blow anyone's mind, but it's a fun and dark exploration of toxic masculinity in which the woman (well, robot woman) wins in the end. My only complaint is that Josh didn't suffer enough at the end.

Grade: B+

Stuff I watched in...January, 2025

A Real Pain

Directed by Jesse Eisenberg, I was so very pleasantly surprised at the emotional depth and honesty of this dramedy about two cousins, Benji (Kieran Culkin) and David (Eisenberg), who go on a Jewish heritage tour of Poland to honor their recently deceased grandmother's life.

David is the dorky, anxious guy who always gets to the airport early and likes to go to bed early. He is also married with a cute kid. Benji is the charming, laid back one who is also emotionally chaotic. Watching A Real Pain, I was struck with how I related to both David and Benji in terms of my...less than desirable qualities. I'm anxious and routine-oriented like David, but also charming-in-a-sometimes-mean-or-blunt-way like Benji. My self-reflection while watching this movie was especially potent given that I just got back from traveling and I, like many others, see some of my worst qualities emerge when I travel. It was interesting watching two characters do annoying things that I see in myself, while also seeing them forgive each other for those annoying things. I felt both self-aware, and self-forgiving.

And A Real Pain, which is a play on words (Benji and David are both "a real pain" and are feeling very, very real pain), is the perfect movie to feel your feelings during. The nature of the tour, which involves a trip to a concentration camp, but also personal shit happening in Benji and David's lives, bring out the emotions in the two men. Eisenberg, in particular, gives a deeply emotional performance where you hear the catch in his throat as he describes his love for his cousin and also his anger and bone-deep fear about his cousin's choices. 

I won't say more--just watch it. It's a short (90 minutes) film filled with bittersweet, melancholic feelings. It's also really funny! Culkin and Eisenberg are excellent, as are the supporting actors. A Real Pain is one of the most emotionally honest films I've seen in a while.

Grade: A

***

Sleep

This Korean psychological thriller, written and directed by Jason Yu, follows a couple who are about to become parents. Mom-to-be Soo-jin (Jung Yu-mi) is kicking ass in a corporate office and her husband, the lovable Hyeon-soo (Lee Sun-kyun), is an actor aiming to get bigger and better roles. 

Everything seems hunky dory...until Hyeon-soo begins sleep-walking. It starts off innocently enough, with him sitting up in bed and talking in his sleep, but soon he is eating raw meat directly out of the fridge and nearly throwing himself out of a window. And it only gets more sinister from there. 

Soo-jin is, understandably, terrified. With the help of a doctor, the couple work to make their apartment sleepwalk-proof (pads on the sharp table ends) and their lifestyles more conducive to healthy slumber (no more alcohol). But Hyeon-soo continues to sleepwalk--and get more and more aggressive--after the baby arrives. Soo-jin becomes convinced that there is something supernatural at play.

Sleep holds its cards close to its chest, giving us evidence that the sleepwalking is more than just a natural occurrence, but also pointing out how ridiculous a supernatural explanation is. The film also shows how night after night of interrupted sleep can eventually drive anyone, especially a new mom, crazy. 

Sleep is a fun, thrilling horror movie with a decent amount of comedy thrown in for good measure. Fans of horror will likely enjoy it.

Grade: B

***

Band of Brothers

I heard nothing but raves about this 2001 HBO series which follows the true story of Easy Company, a Parachute Infantry Regiment during WWII. Bookended by interviews with still-living members of the Company, Band of Brothers shows how these man had to essentially become "brothers" in order to survive the war. They had to trust and rely on one another and especially rely on their leaders, some of whom were pretty incompetent. 

There is a lot going on in this series, and what kept it from being an "A" rating for me was, as dumb as it sounds, too many combat sequences. Yeah, duh, it's a series about the frontlines of WWII...but action has never been my thing and I really don't need 20 minutes of bullets to get the point. It's also very difficult to tell the men apart, especially during the combat sequences.

The scenes that were meaningful for me were ones were the men are just hanging out and shooting the shit, whether in the trenches or in the safety of their bunks. These are the scenes where to get to know these guys so that when the combat does start, you can see how their personality traits come into play during warfare.

I have a soft spot for WWII media (although I'm more interested in the daily lives of those on the home front than those in battle), so I enjoyed Band of Brothers quite a bit. It's not an "A" series for me, but I can see how it would be for many, many viewers and it's definitely worth the watch.

Grade: B+

***

Smile and Smile 2

I first saw Parker Finn's unrelenting horror film Smile in 2022 and did not care for it (here's my review). In particular, I was pissed about the ending. Also, it's just a really feel-bad movie. And it's weird because I don't mind feel-bad movies, but for some reason Smile didn't do it for me at the time.

However, I rewatched it recently, along with its sequel, Smile 2, and I have to say that going into these movies knowing what they're like makes them way more enjoyable. They are movies that feel very aggressive to me, and very scary. They both have a ton of jump scares and you feel tension throughout the entire movie. Like the main characters, Rose (Sosie Bacon) in Smile and Skye (Naomi Scott) in Smile 2, you feel like you are slowly going crazy while watching these movies.

I particularly remember a scene from Smile where Rose, the victim of a curse that makes her see terrifying smiles everywhere, attends her nephew's birthday party and extremely upsetting things happen at the party that lead to her scream-crying in front of a gaggle of shocked partygoers. I found this scene unbearably cruel and melodramatic when I first saw it...but on a second watch I kind of like it. Both movies are about trauma (and mental illness and addiction) and how people basically get mad at other people for being "overly emotional" and avoid them, isolating them when those people need help the most. When Rose has her breakdown at the party, she is not treated as someone who needs help and care, but as a terrible person who ruined a party. There is a dark, sad truth about this that I now appreciate.

In Smile 2, Skye Riley (Scott) is a pop singer on tour after recovering from a car crash that killed her boyfriend (played by Ray Nicholson, son of Jack...and they look and act so much alike) and a subsequent addiction to painkillers. She is not well, but is pressured to perform by her stage mother, Elizabeth (Rosemarie DeWitt). When Skye begins to unravel (due to the curse, of course), she is not told to rest and cancel all her public engagements, she is pushed harder and harder until she breaks...and then she is blamed for her very public breakdown. 

So, I am changing my opinion about the first Smile and giving it a B+ (instead of the C+ I gave it originally) and I am giving the same grade to its sequel. Yes, these movies are incredibly intense (and genuinely scary), but they have an honesty about the way we treat victims of trauma that I find very compelling. 

Grade: B+

***

Juror #2

Say what you will about Clint Eastwood, but the guy is still cranking out decent movies at age 94, which is a remarkable feat. Juror #2 is a solid courthouse thriller about a man, Justin Kemp (Nicholas Hoult), who finds himself serving on the a jury for a murder trial...and he has information that would blow the case wide open. 

I feel like there are some plot holes in the movie that keep it from hitting as hard as it could, and the ending feels a little undercooked, but overall it's an entertaining legal thriller for a nice evening at home. Nicholas Hoult is good in everything, and he does well here as a man struggling with his conscience. If he reveals the information he knows, it will impact his life in a negative way. But if he holds his tongue an innocent (maybe?) man will go to prison. It definitely made me reflect on what I would do in a similar situation and there are no easy answers.

Grade: B

***

It's What's Inside

This mind-bending comedy-thriller directed by Greg Jardin practically requires note-taking in order to follow the plot. Whether that's a good or bad thing, I'm still not sure.

A group of college friends reunite for a pre-wedding party for Reuben (Devon Terrell). Surprisingly, Forbes (David Thompson) also shows up. Forbes is a weird dude who got expelled from university after bringing his sister, Beatrice (still in high school at the time), to a party, which lead to her getting in a fight with another girl that was so violent, Beatrice ended up in a mental hospital.

But all of that is water under the bridge when Forbes reveals the "party game" he brought: a suitcase containing a machine that allows everyone to experience their consciousness enter another person's body. Basically, they all attach wires to their temples, Forbes flips some switches, and bam--you are in someone else's body!

I mean...do I even have to say "shit goes sideways"? Of course it does. Mostly because the group uses this absolutely insane miracle of a game to have sex with each other while in new bodies. Sex, lies, manipulation, secrets kept and revealed... until it all goes horribly awry and the group is left figuring out how to clean up the mess.

It's What's Inside is a fun movie, though of course difficult to follow at times for obvious reasons. There's also a gaping plot hole (without giving too much away: one person threatens to tell the cops that another person committed a serious crime...but there is clear physical evidence that they did not commit the crime) that really annoyed me. Like Juror #2 above, this is a fine movie for an evening at home with popcorn. 

Grade: B

The Brutalist

This review contains spoilers 

America proclaims to be the land of opportunity for anyone and everyone. If you work heard enough, you can make it here. Everyone has an equal chance. Just grab those bootstraps and pull. And everyone is welcome here...as long as you behave yourself and assimilate. 

Brady Corbet's epic film examines the lie of the American dream and the abuses of capitalism through the lens of a fictional man's journey to and eventual departure from the United States. Adrien Brody plays Laszlo Toth, a brilliant architect who is also unfortunately a Jewish man from Hungary during Hilter's Third Reich. While we don't see this part of his life (the film opens with Laszlo coming out of the depths of a ship to see the Statue of Liberty, inverted and moving dizzily across the screen), we learn that Laszlo survived the Buchenwald concentration camp and was separated from his wife, Erzsebet (Felicity Jones), and niece, Zsofia (Raffey Cassidy), during the war.

In the first half of this 3.5 hour film, Laszlo comes to America--Philadelphia, specifically--to live with his cousin, Attila (Alessandro Nivola), a fully-assimilated man who has changed his last name, his religion, and is working on getting rid of that pesky Hungarian accent. Attila owns a furniture store and offers Laszlo a room and work. Fate finds its way to Laszlo in the form of Harry Lee Van Buren (Joe Alwyn, playing one of the most detestable, punchable characters ever committed to screen), the son of a wealthy industrialist, who hires Laszlo and Attila to re-do his father's study as a surprise. When Harrison Lee Van Buren (Guy Pearce, excellent as a man corrupted by wealth) comes home to find his library re-done in a minimalist, brutalist style, he is furious. His son refuses to pay Attila and Laszlo, and Attila kicks Laszlo out of his home.

Years later, Harrison finds Laszlo working in construction and takes him for a coffee, showing him a lifestyle magazine in which his library was featured to much acclaim. He apologizes for his and his son's actions and pays Laszlo what he is owed and invites Laszlo to his house. Having done his research, Harrison discovers that Laszlo was a celebrated architect in Hungary and now wants to take the man under his wing, putting him in touch with a lawyer who can help bring Erzsebet and Zsofia to America.

Harrison also proposes a new project: a community center for the people of Doylestown, PA, named after Harrison's beloved late mother. And he wants Laszlo Toth the design it. 

After an intermission (which is built into the run time of the film), Erzsebet and Zsofia make it to America, though not without their issues. Erzsebet must use a wheelchair due to osteoporosis from famine and Zsofia is mute due to trauma. But Laszlo is overjoyed to have them home.

Felicity Jones, playing Erzsebet, brings warmth and grounding to a very masculine film. To me, she felt more "human" than any other character in the film. She bolsters Laszlo's self-worth and supports his vision at all costs...and the costs do start racking up, as Harrison brings on other architects to "consult" on the community center, compromising Laszlo's vision. After a train accident results in destroyed materials, Harrison abandons the project and Laszlo, Erzsebet, and Zsofia move to New York City to find jobs. 

For a brief moment, the Toth family is truly free. Free from the fickle demands of Harrison Lee Van Buren (not to mention the unwelcome advances on Zsofia made by son Harry). But in 1958, Harrison revives the project and asks Laszlo to come back. Against the wishes of his wife, Lazlo returns to the project. Meanwhile a pregnant Zsofia and her husband decide to make Aliyah and return to Israel. More on this later.

Laszlo and Harrison travel to Carrara, Italy to purchase marble. During a party in the mines, Laszlo becomes intoxicated and wanders off. Harrison finds him and berates him, saying "If your people hate persecution, why do you make yourself such easy targets." He then proceeds to rape Laszlo in an act of domination.This was a shocking moment I did not see coming and it really slaps you in the face with the film's message that wealthy Americans use and abuse foreigners before discarding them. 

Laszlo continues to work with Harrison on the project, but by this point he is jaded. He knows that people like him--not just Jews, but foreign Jews--will never be truly accepted in the United States. Erzsebet proposes that they move to Jerusalem to live with Zsofia. "This country is rotten" she says. Laszlo agrees.

But before they leave, Erzsebet goes to Harrison's house and calls him an "evil rapist" in front of his family and business partners. Harry grabs her and drags her out of the house, causing even more of a scene. Harrison flees the premises and a fruitless search of the grounds and the unfinished community center commences. The film gives us no answer as to what happens to Harrison. 

However, the film does give us an answer to what happens to Laszlo and his family. In an epilogue, grown up Zsofia travels to Venice with an aging Laszlo to present at a showcase of Laszlo's work. During her remarks, she reveals that the community center (which was completed years later) was inspired by the Buchenwald and Dachau camps. The tight, claustrophobic rooms with high ceilings were the exact dimensions of various buildings that Laszlo, Erzsebet, and Zsofia suffered in and survived. 

It's funny because the film presents this revelation as the work of a man processing his trauma, but I thought it was more of a "fuck you" to Harrison and the people (specifically, the Christians) of Doylestown who demanded a chapel in the community center. What better way to thumb your nose at the people who never accepted you than to put a replica of a death camp in their backyard? 

The film ends with Zsofia telling the crowd something her uncle told her: "no matter what others try and sell you, it is the destination, not the journey".

So, that's The Brutalist. A film about American hypocrisy towards immigrants, a film about the struggle to find a homeland, a film about art clashing with capitalism. I have a few additional thoughts. 

First, it's so interesting to me the way the film juxtaposes sensuality and, well, brutality. During the sequence set in Carrara, Harrison sensually caresses the beautiful marble--putting his cheek to it as he would put his cheek to a lover. Not a few minutes later, he is raping Laszlo in the depths of the mine. There are scenes like this littered throughout the film. Scenes of tenderness and beauty and love followed by scenes of rejection and pain and hate. 

Another thought I had was that when Erzsebet says "this country is rotten", she could easily have said "this world is rotten". The Toths were brutalized in their homeland because of their religion and then they left Europe for a better life in America. When they discovered the lie of America, they fled again to a new homeland...one that has always been the center of controversy. I saw an article that called The Brutalist an "aggressively ambiguous" take on Zionism. That description makes sense to me, as Laszlo and Erzsebet don't want to leave the United States. They want to stay and make it work, but in the end they feel that the cost is too great.  

But what I believe and what I make of this film is that there is no safe homeland, there is no safe haven...not for anyone, anywhere. Because wherever you go, there are Harrison and Harry Lee Van Burens. The American dream is a myth, but so was Hitler's Third Reich. And all countries and cultures are propped up by their own mythologies. We can share myths and stories about our lands, and some may be more true and others less true, but what we all share is a common humanity that pits people against one another. The Harrison Lee Van Buren that Guy Pearce portrays may be specific to the United States of America, but trust and believe that a version of his kind exists in every country on earth and will always look for a victim in the depths of a marble mine to take advantage of.

What I do think is hopeful about The Brutalist is that despite everything, Laszlo never loses his vision or his identity. For all his wealth, Harrison Lee Van Buren has no core sense of self underneath it all. Contrast this to Laszlo, who in his darkest moments of homelessness, addiction, and degradation still knows who he is and what he wants. 

Perhaps that is the ultimate message of The Brutalist: there is no homeland other than one's own values, identity, and vision.

Grade: A 

If Mama Ain't Happy...

Three wildly different movies that share the common theme of motherhood.

Janet Planet

Written and directed by playwright Annie Baker, Janet Planet is a beautifully realized slice of life movie about an 11 year old girl, Lacy (Zoe Ziegler), and her loving-but-codependent relationship with her hippie mother, Janet (the wonderful Julianne Nicholson). The film takes place in rural Massachusetts in 1991 and just feels so perfectly detailed that you feel like you took a trip in a time machine while watching it.

I loved Lacy as a character--a bossy, blunt kid (much like I was) who is also a bit lonely and overly attached to her mom for an 11 year old. Janet is a loving mother, but one that we might look askance at these days. She regularly brings boyfriends and roommates to live with her, and although nothing sinister happens to either Janet or Lacy, Lacy is forced to witness and deal with her mother's emotions in a way we would characterize as codependent and/or parentifying in today's world. The title, "Janet Planet", is not only the name of Janet's acupuncture business, but also a good metaphor for Lacy's life: her world revolves around Janet's in a way that is often sweet and sometimes...a little much.

Streaming on Max, I highly recommend this movie especially to folks who enjoy quiet, natural, slice of life indie movies. It's a really good one (and will make older viewers long for a time before cell phones).

Grade: A

***

The Front Room

The Front Room sure is something else. What a weird movie. I don't actually hate it, but it's also not good. 

Starring Brandy Norwood (Brandy of "The Boy is Mine" fame) as Belinda, a pregnant Black anthropologist who is already dealing with a lot (specifically, a lack of respect at her university job) and Andrew Burnap as her white husband, Norman, The Front Room tackles the most horrific thing in the entire world: mother-in-laws.

I partially kid, but the mother-in-law in The Front Room is truly a megabitch from hell. Solange (played by the hilarious Kathryn Hunter in a very, very vanity-free role) is actually Norman's stepmother and he has terrible memories of her religiously-motivated abuse from his childhood (she wouldn't let him eat unless he sang "Jesus Loves Me" with adequate conviction). When Norman's father passes away, Solange proposes that she will leave her massive fortune to Norman and Belinda if in exchange they let her live with them for her remaining years. Low on funds, they let her move in.

Hunter plays Solange as a melodramatic, racist, southern-fried religious nut. She immediately takes control of their lives, even presumptuously suggesting they change the unborn baby's name from Fern to Laurie. Once the baby is born, Belinda has to take care of her newborn AND an incontinent, condescending biddy while her husband is at work as a public defender. 

The Front Room is directed by Max and Sam Eggers, brother of the incredibly talented Robert Eggers. However, this film is...er...not as good as Robert's films. Not by a long shot. Hunter's performance as Solange is amusing at first, but quickly grows tiresome. The movie is marketed as a horror film, but it's more gross (see the incontinence mentioned above) and cringe than scary. I really can't recommend it unless you have a morbid curiosity. Brandy deserved better than this!

Grade: C

***

Mothers' Instinct

A melodramatic thriller directed by Benoit Delhomme about a friendship between two mid-twentieth century women that turns deadly. 

Anne Hathaway is Celine Jennings and Jessica Chastain is Alice Bradford--two picture-perfect wives and mothers in 1960 suburban America. When a tragic accident occurs, their friendship sours...and then goes off the rails completely.

I won't spoil anything, but this definitely isn't a film you need to see unless you love the lead actresses (and, to be fair, who doesn't?) or love soapy melodramas. Mothers' Instinct is essentially a more polished Lifetime movie with star power. 

Uh, that's it. That's the review. 

Grade: B-

2024: The Best and the Rest

Personally, I thought 2024 was a GREAT year for movies! I was really disappointed in 2023's crop of films, especially the ones everyone else loved but I thought were just ok. This year, however, I saw a bunch of movies that I loved and cannot stop thinking about. In fact, there were so many good movies that I watched this year that I have two separate lists: my favorite movies that came out in 2024 and my favorite movies I watched this year that came out in 2023 or before. 

Additionally I have lists of the TV shows I watched this year that I enjoyed the most, best books I read this year, and worst movies of 2024. Please enjoy and I hope you're inspired to watch something from these lists that you haven't seen before!

***

Best Movies (released in 2024)

11. Love Lies Bleeding

This tale of a muscle babe drifter (Katy O'Brian) and the alienated gym employee who loves her (Kristen Stewart) is raw, sexy, violent and weird. I enjoyed how gross and bizarre Love Lies Bleeding was, and I also enjoyed the powerhouse performances by O'Brian and Stewart.

10. Wicked

Wicked was by far the most surprising movie of the year in terms of how much I loved it when I went in with low expectations. I hadn't seen the stage version of this musical retelling of the story of the Wicked Witch of the West, but I had heard good things. Still, musicals are sometimes difficult to translate to the silver screen. Thankfully, Jon M. Chu's adaptation was beautiful, delightful, and heart-wrenching. So glad I gave it a chance.

9.  Strange Darling (second review down)

Now, here is a truly dark horse. Even though I rated Strange Darling a B+ and Wicked an A-, I am ranking Strange Darling above it simply because I. Cannot. Stop. Thinking. About. It. 

Strange Darling is a violent, Tarantino-esque film about a kinky one-night stand between two characters known only as The Lady (Willa Fitzgerald) and The Demon (Kyle Gallner) gone totally off the rails. The gender politics of this movie are very troubling, which knocks the film down from the "A" tier...but...but...it's still so surprising and fun. Fitzgerald and Gallner give truly great performances and the film is a wild, unhinged ride.

8.  Red Rooms (third review down)

Technically, this French-Canadian thriller was released in 2023, but it wasn't available to watch in the States until 2024. And, boy, was I eager to see it. It actually might have been my most anticipated movie of the year. The film follows two women who are sitting in on the trial of a man convicted of torturing and killing three teenagers and streaming the murders on the internet. While you never see any footage of the murders, the descriptions are gruesome enough. Model Kelly-Anne (Juliette Gariepy) is absolutely obsessed with the crimes in a way that is clearly unhealthy, but we're never sure exactly why she is so focused on the man responsible for the murders or the family members of the murdered girls. Red Rooms keeps you on the edge of your seat for its entire run time. It's a slow burn, but an absolutely thrilling one.

7. Civil War

All the cinephiles out there LOVE director Alex Garland and, specifically, they love his films Ex Machina and Annihilation. Not me though, I thought those movies were mid. Garland also directed Men, which, while not perfect by any means, was at least kind of intriguing to me. This year, he directed Civil War, a movie doomed to be misunderstood in our polarized times. The movie ISN'T about "left vs. right" but instead about how we fight for no reason other than than to feel like we're on the right side of something. Civil War is about the absolute absurdity of war and the absurdity of being a human. I think a lot of viewers were pissed at the lack of a moral stance or resolution in this movie, but I thought that was exactly the point. 

6. Dune: Part 2

A feast for the eyes, Dune: Part 2 was a roller coaster thrill ride from start to finish...especially since I saw it in IMAX and my seat was literally vibrating for half the movie. I'm not a huge space/sci-fi person (I don't care a whit about Star Wars), but Dune is an exception. The sets and world-building in Denis Villeneuve's screen adaptation of Frank Herbert's epic story of a reluctant messiah and the war over Spice (it must flow) are just astounding. Both Part One and Part Two also have some horror elements to them, which was a great entry point for me. 

5. Oddity (first review down)

This absolutely terrifying movie just came out of nowhere! I heard a little bit of rumbling about it online and sat down to watch it one evening. I ended up watching it through my fingers while curled into a ball on the couch. I'm not joking when I say that Oddity is the scariest movie I watched in 2024. 

With an amazing lead performance by Carolyn Bracken who plays twins in the film, Oddity is not only incredibly tense with some jump scares that you will NOT see coming, it's also just a plain old good movie with an intriguing plot. If you're a horror lover, do not sleep on this one. And if you watch it, don't expect the sleep at all!

4. Late Night with the Devil (first review down)

This was another film that I wasn't expecting too much of, but it really blew me away when I watched it. It's a found footage style film about the final episode of a (fictional) late night TV show from the 1970s called "Night Owls". The wonderful David Dastmalchian plays host Jack Delroy, who invites a psychic, a skeptic, and a little girl who claims to be able to speak to demons on his Halloween show. 

And could you guess that all hell breaks lose? 

I loved the vintage vibe of Late Night with the Devil. It was a movie that felt both familiar and new, which is my favorite type of movie! It's not particularly scary, but it was very fun.

3. I Saw the TV Glow

Jane Schoenbrun's I Saw the TV Glow wins the award for most devastating movie of 2024. This film, which is an allegory for the transgender experience, follows two kids, Owen and Maddy, who bond over a TV show called The Pink Opaque (think: Buffy the Vampire Slayer or The Secret World of Alex Mack). One night, Maddy disappears. When she reappears years later with a disturbing proposition, Owen has to decide how much he trusts his old friend. 

I can't say much without giving major plot points away, so I'll just say that Justice Smith's performance as the older Owen is absolutely heart-breaking. I Saw the TV Glow can be read in many ways--it's about nostalgia and growing up, but it's also about missed opportunities and the agony of knowing the years are slipping away from you. And it's about so much more. This movie will not be everyone's cup of tea, but I found it to be a gut-wrenching take on the consequences of not living a life true to yourself. 

2. The Substance

In a year of surprising films, I think Coralie Fargeat's The Substance is the one that had my jaw on the ground the most. What a bat-shit insane ride this movie is. It's not scary, but it is INCREDIBLY gross. And in ways you'd never even expect. Fargeat attempts to out-Cronenberg Cronenberg himself. In fact, I've heard this movie described as "The Fly, but grosser". Consider yourself warned.

I love that a movie about our culture's obsession with (female) beauty features such disgusting visuals. TV and movie star Elisabeth Sparkle (a wonderful Demi Moore in the performance of the year) is fired from her long-running fitness show on her 50th birthday by her contemptible boss, Harvey (Dennis Quaid). She learns of a "substance" that can create a younger, sexier, better version of yourself. All you have to do is make sure to switch bodies every seven days. She takes the plunge and, indeed, a younger, hotter version of herself emerges out of her own body: Sue (Margaret Qualley). Soon enough, Sue is stealing time from Elisabeth and damaging both women (who are, of course, the same person) in the process.

More than any other movie on this list, I think The Substance is THE movie of 2024.

1. Challengers

Luca Guadagnino's genre-defying film about three people obsessed with tennis and each other is a movie created specifically for me. Despite the fact that there is no actual sex in Challengers, the movie is sexy in a way that feels very specific to me. And it's not just sexy. It's funny, arch, dynamic, and energetic. Challengers is a whole vibe with great acting, excellent cinematography, and a score by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross that makes you wanna go out and hit a few balls (what kind of balls? That's up to you).

Zendaya plays tennis prodigy Tashi Duncan who suffers an injury that puts a stop to her career far too early. She lives vicariously through her husband, Art Donaldson (Mike Faist), a tennis champ. But after a few too many losses, Tashi (who coaches Art) signs him up for a challenger event where he'll be able to compete against some players who are objectively worse than him and therefore gain a little confidence back. But, lo and behold, a person from the past--Patrick Zweig (Josh O'Connor)--is also playing in the challenger! Art and Patrick, once best friends and romantic rivals for Tashi's affections, face each other on the court once again.

If you think tennis is boring, well, you haven't seen Challengers. In the film, a tennis is sex and sex is tennis. And let's just say that in the love triangle between Tashi, Patrick, and Art...all the sides touch. Quite literally.

Challengers is a movie that is hot as hell, cool as fuck, and a metric ton of fun. Easily my favorite movies of 2024, and probably my favorite movie, period, since Midsommar. 

Just bros sharing an innocent churro.

Honorable Mentions:

Nosferatu, Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga, The People's Joker, The Devil's Bath, A Different Man, Longlegs

Best First Time Watches (released in 2023 or earlier)

9. Please Baby Please (second review down)

This campy, kinky, queer, quasi-musical was everything I didn't know I needed in my life. If a John Waters movie and a David Lynch movie had a baby, Please Baby Please would be it.

8. Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father (seventh review down)

While I Saw the TV Glow might be the most devastating 2024 movie, Dear Zachary is the most devastating movie...ever? A truly gut-wrenching documentary about a family's quest for justice when their son (and father to baby Zachary of the title) is murdered by his girlfriend. Be warned: this film required tissues.

7. Everybody Wants Some!!! (second review down)

I watched this 1980-set Richard Linklater film on a whim...and promptly made a bunch of my friends watch it as well. In fact I think I watched it at least three times in a two-month period. If you couldn't tell, I dig this testosterone-fueled comedy about a college baseball team's wild weekend before the fall semester of 1980 starts.

6. Woodlands Dark and Days Bewitched (first review down)

This gorgeous documentary about the history of folk horror in film is over three hours long, but worth the watch. By the end of the doc, which covers folk horror from Britain, the Americas, and all around the world, I had a ton of movies to add to my "to-watch" list. 

5. The Zone of Interest

Directed by Jonathan Glazer, The Zone of Interest is a haunting film about the Hoss family--father Rudolf is the commandment of the Auschwitz death camp and he and his wife, Hedwig (played by the excellent Sandra Huller), and their 5 children live literally right next door to the camp. They can see the fire and smoke of the crematoriums by night and hear gunshots and screams by day, but they live their lives as any other upwardly mobile family would. 

This film, which came out last year, was controversial for a number of reasons, not least because it's a Holocaust movie where the victims aren't even shown. But Glazer deftly gets the message across: not only is evil banal, it's profitable for those who engage in it. 

4. All of Us Strangers

Released in 2023, Andrew Haigh's All of Us Strangers is a ghost story, but not a scary one. A very lonely gay man in his 40s (Andrew Scott) mysteriously has the ability to reunite with his parents who died when he was a kid. How this is possible is never explained, and it's also besides the point. The point is that Adam is able to come out to his parents, which he couldn't do while they were alive, and have them affirm their love for him. In other words, it's a tearjerker that will have you crying like a baby no matter what *your* relationship with *your* parents is like. It's a movie about closure, something many of us don't get, especially from our parents. Watching All of Us Strangers is like having the flu: you'll feel achy, warm, and vulnerable.

3. The Holdovers

Another 2023 release I didn't get to watch until 2024. Alexander Payne directs this heart-warming (though not without bite) movie about three lonely people who come together (or, rather, are forced into each other's company) at Christmas in 1970. Paul Giamatti is a classics professor who teaches at a private boarding school; Dominic Sessa is a student left behind by his family during the holiday break; Da'Vine Joy Randolph is the cafeteria manager who is also staying behind to cook for the "holdover" students who are staying at the academy for Christmas and New Years. 

All three of these people are grumpy as hell, which is what makes The Holdovers so funny and so wonderful. This really is the perfect Christmas movie for people who aren't into Christmas. It will tug your heartstrings but won't be so cheerful and in your face about it. Just a really warm, comforting, lowkey movie with a seriously vintage feel.

2. The Shawshank Redemption (second review down)

Shockingly, I had not seen The Shawshank Redemption until a few months ago. It was just a movie I never got around to, despite having read the novella it's based on. I finally watched it and I gotta say that it's everything people say it is: a great movie with an enormous heart. The Shawshank Redemption is as familiar as a pair of old slippers, which is not to say it's boring. It's just very nostalgic, even to me, someone who never even watched it before! 

1. The Birdcage (first review down)

And probably even MORE shocking, I hadn't seen the entirety (only bits and pieces caught on TV) of this stone-cold classic until this past year. INSANE, right? When I finally sat down to watch it, I was blown away at how hilarious it was. I shouldn't have been surprised, but sometimes movies that everyone loves ultimately don't live up to the hype. The Birdcage does. I don't even have to tell you what it's about because everyone on earth except me has already seen it. Well, now it's on regular rotation in my house. Better late than never!

Best TV shows I watched in 2024

4. Ripley (third review down)

I was skeptical of this 8-episode series based on Patricia Highsmith's novel The Talented Mr. Ripley--after all, we already have the perfect film adaptation. But I was won over in the end, especially by Eliot Sumner's turn as Freddie Miles. 

3. The Underground Railroad (second review down)

Barry Jenkins translates the Pulitzer Prize winning novel by Colson Whitehead into a 10-episode series that captures both the grotesque atrocities of American slavery and the dreamy magical realism of the novel. Following escaped slave Cora's (Thuso Mbedu) struggle to get to freedom on a literal underground train, the series is heartbreaking and hopeful. 

2. Hacks (second review down)

I watched all three seasons of this comedy about an older comedian, Deborah Vance (Jean Smart), and her Gen Z writer, Ava (Hannah Einbinder), in quick succession. Hacks is categorized as a comedy, but it's more of a dramedy that will break your heart as often as it makes you laugh. The lead actresses (especially the legendary Jean Smart) play off of each other perfectly, revealing their flaws and their saving graces in turn.

1. Baby Reindeer (first review down)

Based on the real experiences of comedian Richard Gadd, this 7-episode series is a gut-punch exploration of stalking and obsession. Gadd plays a version of himself, Donny Dunn, a struggling comedian and bartender who takes pity on Martha (Jessica Gunning), a woman who shows up at the bar claiming she can't even afford a cup of tea. When Dunn offers her the cuppa on the house, he sets off a series of events that tie him to Martha forever.

Baby Reindeer explores the nuances of being a victim and how previous trauma leaves people vulnerable to further abuse...and it does it all with a very dark sense of humor. This show is a lot, but I appreciated its honest evaluation of the complexities of human connection.

Best Books I read in 2024

4. Mary: An Awakening of Terror by Nat Cassidy

My sister recommended this book to me, and it was a pretty gnarly and fun read. The novel follows Mary, a woman in early menopause who is forced to return to her hometown to care for her ailing (and awful) aunt. But strange changes are happening to Mary...and it's not just her hormones. How can hormones explain seeing ghosts?! 

3. Bright Young Women by Jessica Knoll

Knoll, who has previously written thrillers in the style of Gone Girl, takes a huge leap with Bright Young Women. This novel is take on the Ted Bundy murders from the perspective of the victims and the loved ones of the victims. Bright Young Women burns with a fiery, righteous anger directed not only at men who rape and murder women (side note: did you know that Bundy raped one of his victims with a bottle of hairspray so hard that her bladder ruptured?), but at the people who don't take misogyny seriously and the media that is all too happy to paint serial killers as mysterious, even sexy, criminal masterminds. 

If you're a feminist intrigued by true crime discourse, don't sleep on this one!

2. Our Share of Night by Mariana Enriquez

Enriquez's epic tale of a family with occult powers is an absolute unit. Weighing in at 608 pages (or 27 hours on audio), Our Share of Night spans decades and continents as it follows Juan Peterson, a man with the ability to commune with beings not of this world (and, often, quite evil) who is used by a wealthy family called the Order. Juan's goal in life is to protect his son, Gaspar, who has the same abilities as his father. He is determined that Gaspar not being wrung dry by the Order, but his protection comes at great personal cost.

This book took me months to read and felt so dreamlike that it warrants another reading (to really process the story), which I'll probably undertake in a year or so.

1. Pet Sematary by Stephen King

Ahh, the perfect book. Stephen King brings his signature sentimentality to a story so bleak that even the author himself thinks he "went too far". This makes Pet Sematary a book that feels very lived in, and, oddly, warm (a lot of the warmth comes from the character of Jud Crandall, an older man who in trying to be kind to the grieving Louis Creed, sets off a series of events that lead to his own--and others'--destruction). 

I don't think that it's a spoiler to say that Pet Sematary is about a parent's worst nightmare. And I can comfortably read it from my position of never having reproduced. But I can empathize with the grief that is so intense it's almost comical that Rachel and Louis Creed experience. Pet Sematary is also, chillingly, about inevitability. The events that occur in the book feel pre-ordained in a way where nothing could stop them. This inevitability is a metaphor for the inevitability of all of our deaths, which could come at age 2 or age 102. King may have thought he went to far, but in my opinion he simply shed light on the very thing we all know and all fear: that sometimes, dead is better.

Worst Movies of 2024

3. Road House (2024) (sixth review down)

A truly awful movie with a script that weirdly feels like a Hallmark romantic comedy. The only saving grace of Road House is that I watched it with friends and we made fun of it the entire time. Near the end, I was in hysterics at the outrageous action on screen.

2. The Feeling That the Time for Doing Something Has Passed (fourth review down)

One of the most boring movies I watched this year. Each scene in the movie is approximately 30 seconds long (or less). And it all adds up to nothing. 

1. Trap (second review down)

Ok, so M. Night Shyamalan's Trap is probably not *actually* the worst movie I saw this year, but I'm so mad at it that it gets the prize. And what's more, I'm mad at Shyamalan stans who think he's this great filmmaker. Dude is a hack! A HACK! Yes, The Sixth Sense was great. He had one good movie in him. Since then, his movies have been mediocre at best and shit-awful at worst. This guy sucks and his movies consistently do not make sense and sounds like they are written by AI. 

Everything, and I mean everything, about Trap is ridiculous and non-sensical. The film appears to be one giant commercial to promote the singing career of Shyamlan's daughter, Saleka Shyamlan who plays pop star Lady Raven in the film (and to my chagrin...she's actually a pretty good singer!) 

I could say more, but there are dozens of excellent YouTube videos and podcasts that break down Trap scene by scene and line by line. All I can say is that M. Night is the greatest magician Hollywood has seen: he takes shit and turns it into dollars. 

You know The Butcher? That freakin' nutjob that goes around writing and directing terrible movies? 

Stuff I watched in...December, 2024

Black Christmas (1974)

Starting off Christmas season with this groovy slasher from the 1970s (directed by Bob Clark, who also directed Christmas classic A Christmas Story), I was really surprised at how vulgar and violent this movie was (happily surprised). Set in a sorority at Christmas break, the ladies of Pi Kappa Sigma have been receiving sexually aggressive phone calls from a man they dub "the moaner". But when members of the house go missing, the women have to wonder if the moaner is not just an obscene caller, but a violent killer as well.

I love 1970s clothing and decor, as well as the overall vibes of the 1970s. So I really enjoyed Black Christmas even though I'm not generally into the slasher subgenre. If you're into horror, especially slashers and/or Christmas horror, this is one to check out.

Grade: B

***

Peeping Tom

Directed by Michael Powell, Peeping Tom was very controversial when it was released in 1960. The film follows a man, Mark Lewis (Karlheinz Bohm), who has a passion for photography...and MURDER. He enjoys killing women in particular and films them as he stabs them to death (with a blade attached to his camera's tripod--very clever).

While Peeping Tom has obvious themes of fetishism and voyeurism, what *really* turns Mark's crank is fear. We find out that he was the victim of his psychologist father's experiments on fear in children: Mark's father would purposely scare him and then film Mark's reactions. This, of course, led Mark to being the fear-and-film obsessed killer he is as an adult.

Peeping Tom has gorgeous cinematography, which makes sense give that Michael Powell also directed the visually stunning Black Narcissus and The Red Shoes (although Peeping Tom had a different cinematographer than those other two films). Clearly, Powell valued beauty in film, even a film with ugly content. I'm really glad I finally watched this classic psychological horror film. 

Grade: B+

***

Subservience

This movie, released directly to Netflix, stars Megan Fox as an android purchased by Nick (Michele Morrone) to help with childcare, cooking, and cleaning while his wife, Maggie (Madeline Zima), awaits a heart transplant in the hospital. Of course, this sexy maidbot, named Alice by Nick's daughter, becomes sentient...and evil.

Subservience is a perfectly entertaining mindless popcorn flick about the dangers of technology that can think for itself. I have a feeling we're going to see a lot of movies like this is the coming years. There's honestly a lot more action than I expected in this film (I guess I assumed it would be more...mind games? Cat and mouse?) and action mostly bores me, so I was definitely playing on my phone during the last 20 minutes. Take that as me not recommending this movie, although it certainly could have been worse.

Grade: C

***

Jennifer's Body

After watching Subservience, I was inspired to rewatch the movie that put Megan Fox on the map. Jennifer's Body, directed by Karyn Kusama and written by Diablo Cody, was released to middling reviews at the time but has now gained cult status as a "good for her" type horror film. When I saw it in 2009 I remember being disappointed that it wasn't as good as Juno (another Diablo Cody-penned film) and I thought most of the "cute" turns of phrase that Cody likes to include in her scripts were forced and not very clever. 

Upon a rewatch, I now see Jennifer's Body as....drum roll please...a good but not great movie! *confetti*

I have more of an appreciation for it now, and I think Adam Brody's turn as the Satanic lead singer of an extremely mediocre indie band is hilarious, but overall I'd still rate it as just ok. At the time of its release, I feel like the movie caught both sexist flack for starring an attractive, yet not particularly talented (sorry) actress in the lead, but also feminist flack for...the same reason? There was definitely discourse around the movie. Watching it now, I don't really see the movie as particularly feminist OR anti-feminist. It has two female leads and they pass the Bechdel test, but Jennifer's Body doesn't really feel all that subversive to me.

I'm glad I rewatched it and I'm glad it attained cult status, but, to me, it's just ok.

Grade: B

***

Home Alone

I was SO into Home Alone as a kid and then I didn't watch it for a long, long time. Now, I am introducing it into my cycle of Christmas movies (there are like five movies that I regularly rewatch at Christmas, but not every Christmas so I don't burn out on them. It was Home Alone's turn this year).

As an adult, I have a lot of appreciation for Chris Columbus's surprisingly dark and unhinged tale of a young boy, Kevin McCallister (Macaulay Culkin), left behind at Christmas while his family jets off to Paris. While staying squarely in a PG rating, Home Alone is pretty fucked up. Kevin is really treated as a pest by his entire family. He lives in a world that is uncaring and hostile to children. No wonder he wishes his family would disappear!

And then you have Harry and Marv, played brilliantly by Joe Pesci (who struggled mightily not to drop f-bombs while filming) and Daniel Stern. When the "Wet Bandits" realize that Kevin is home alone, they figure burglarizing the McCallister homestead will be an easy job. After all, what can a little kid do? But Kevin is...precocious. I will say that Macaulay Culkin is not the most natural child actor I've seen. He says his lines with a forced and overly loud tone. But I'm not going to criticize a kid who was abused by his piece of shit father. In some ways, Home Alone is a bit of a guilty pleasure knowing that Culkin, a huge child star of the 90s, was being treated like crap by his family and Hollywood at the time. 

If we put that nastiness aside, Home Alone is a deeply fun, funny, and enjoyable movie that holds up really well 35 years later. There's a reason we can still say "keep the change, ya filthy animal" and most people get the reference.

Grade: A

***

Edward Scissorhands

It had been years since I watched Tim Burton's classic story of the uncommonly gentle man with scissors for hands. The movie unnerved the hell out of me as a kid, so I don't think I watched the entire thing until...college? In any case, it had been a while and I decided to revisit it.

Edward Scissorhands is an almost excruciatingly bittersweet film. The content itself is bittersweet: a very gentle man created by a mad genius and left alone in a castle is brought into society by a well-meaning woman, Peg Boggs (Diane Wiest, just wonderful here), only to become the object of fascination by a bunch of shallow, ignorant suburb-dwellers and then a hunted scapegoat when things go wrong. The movie is also bittersweet on a meta-level in that it represents a time when Time Burton made interesting, creative, heartfelt films instead of ugly Hollywood dreck and Johnny Depp was an exciting up-and-comer and not an abusive weirdo. 

We didn't know how good we had it. 

Edward Scissorhands is notable for that weird mix of colorful, suburban conformity and BDSM-goth vibes. Although Ed Wood is my favorite Tim Burton film, Edward Scissorhands feels the most Burton-y. It also has an absolutely beautiful score by the great Danny Elfman. The music really jerks those tears out of you.

Really glad I rewatched this one. 

Grade: A-

***

Daddy's Head

Daddy's Head is an incredibly unnerving horror film on Shudder. James (Charles Aitken) is killed in a car accident. He was a widower and recently remarried to Laura (Julia Brown). He leaves behind his young son Isaac (Rupert Turnbull), now an orphan. Laura waffles on adopting Isaac and becoming his legal guardian. She also has a drinking problem that gets worse in the aftermath of the accident.

And then the...thing...shows up. A creature that moves quickly in the dark and can mimic human speech. This entity starts to convince Isaac that it is his father. In a different body, sure, but very much alive. Isaac's insistence that his father has returned and Laura's constant drunkeness and resentment towards her stepson reach a boiling point. 

So, yeah, it's another grief horror movie. They are so hot these days, but I'm starting to think they might be overstaying their welcome. You can't top Midsommar and you shouldn't even try. But even though Daddy's Head is a middling movie, it's got some seriously creepy creature design. It'll definitely spook you!  

Grade: B

***

Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979)

In preparing to see Robert Eggers take on Nosferatu, I revisited Werner Herzog's 1979 version starring Klaus Kinski, Isabella Adjani, and Bruno Ganz. Hands down, the best thing about this movie is the music. The score was composed by Popol Vuh, a West German musical collective. They do amazing, mesmerizing work here. 

The cinematography is also stunning. Between the music and cinematography, Nosferatu the Vampyre has an almost hypnotic quality to it. It's very slow and the plot is thin and familiar. But it doesn't feel boring. It's almost...relaxing. Klaus Kinski is extremely creepy as Count Dracula (not Count Orlock in this film, as the character is called in the 1922 version)...he's serving rat face, which is appropriate given the role rats play in the film.

Nosferatu the Vampyre is a very nostalgic film for me because it brings me back to my college years when I was watching a lot of Herzog and exploring artsy movies. I would only recommend it to people already inclined to watch it anyway--fans of Herzog and artsy vampire movies. It might be a bit too slow for others.

Grade: A-

*** 

Carry-On

Another mid-level Netflix movie, Carry-On is good, but ridiculous, fun. Starring Taron Egerton as Ethan Kopek, a TSA agent working at LAX on Christmas Eve and feeling a little...mixed. He just found out he's about to become a father with his girlfriend Nora (Sofia Carson), who also works at LAX, but he's also just kind of drifting through life and his ennui is becoming more apparent and obvious to both him and Nora.

Inspired by a conversation with Nora, Ethan asks his boss, Sarkowski (Dean Norris), for more responsibility and it allowed to work the xray machines. When he discovers an earpiece in one of the bins and immediately gets a text telling him to put it in his ear RIGHT NOW, Ethan is swept into a situation he was never meant to be part of. The man talking to him using the earpiece goes only by "the Traveler" (Jason Bateman) and he explains to Ethan that a man will soon be in his line with a suitcase and Ethan must let the suitcase go through. Ethan asks what's in the suitcase, but the Traveler refuses to tell him...which is how Ethan knows that it's bad. Really bad.

Carry-On has excellent pacing. Although there are many familiar beats to the movie, it's never slow and never boring. It is, of course, completely unrealistic. So many things would foil the bad guys' plot, but let's just ignore those and enjoy the ride. 

Despite the fact that Carry-On is technically a Christmas movie, it will never be in the Canon and is likely doomed to obscurity since it's just another mediocre and forgettable straight-to-Netflix film. But, like a one-night stand, its a fun way to pass the time.

Grade: B