Together

Relationships are hard, particularly if you're a naturally independent and/or introverted person. Yet the desire for connection and love with another human being is a feeling many, many of us experience. This paradox, this push-and-pull of desire and repulsion, of love and annoyance, is familiar to anyone who has been close to anyone else. Regardless of how much you love someone, sometimes you just don't want to deal with their shit--and they feel the same about you!

You can probably tell what a romantic I am by the above statement. And Michael Shanks' body horror comedy Together is a horror film for all the realist romantics out there because it captures that mixture of lust and disgust that is so common in long term relationships.

And if you're like, "what are you talking about? I feel nothing but pure, sweet love for my partner of many years" then whoop-de-doo for you, you liar! Hahaha, just kidding...

Together stars actual real life married couple Alison Brie and Dave Franco, who also happen to be perfect for their roles. Brie is Millie, a smart and slightly high-strung go-getter of a woman who is offered a teaching job in a rural area that will take her away from life in the city. Her boyfriend, Tim (Franco), moves with her but clearly is not so happy about leaving the city and all his friends. Tim is an aspiring musician and although he is offered a touring gig with his old band, he knows that living a train ride away from the city will probably put a significant damper on his career.

Tim is also mourning the death of his parents and has been sexually and emotionally distant from Millie. 

Millie and Tim go for a hike on the trails near their home one day and fall into a cave. They end up spending the night in there and Tim drinks water from a pool in the cave (Millie, understandably, refuses). Although they get out safely the next day, strange things begin to happen. Tim is inexplicably pulled towards Millie as if by supernatural means. After she drops him off at the train station so that he can travel to a gig with his band, Tim abandons his luggage and instruments at the station and walks miles to Millie's school and then fucks her in the boy's restroom, nearly getting caught by Millie's coworker, Jamie (Damon Herriman). 

Whatever Tim has inside himself, he apparently fucked it into Millie as she begins to experience the pull towards Tim. And when I say "pull", I don't mean like they really want to snuggle on the couch while watching Love Island, I mean like their bodies are becoming stuck together...and then fused together.

Together has some really gnarly body horror that is both disgusting, but also really funny. Franco and Brie have excellent chemistry and it's believable that Millie and Tim would be a couple who love each other but are also struggling in their relationship. The movie serves as a metaphor for enmeshment and codependency, but also for that feelings of both wanting to be close to your partner, but also wanting space. As an introvert, what happens to Tim and Millie is my worst nightmare...but as a romantic, I found Together to be sweet in a fucked up way.

It's hard to grade this film because I think it's stronger than a B+, but not quite an "A" level movie because I think there could have been more to it...either it could have gone harder or been less predictable. I'm going to give Together the benefit of the doubt and rate it an A- for the chemistry between the leads, the body horror, and the very appropriate use of a Spice Girls song during a critical moment. 

Grade: A-

Eye see you!

Stuff I watched in...July, 2025

The Gilded Age 

For a show that focuses on the kinds of people we joke about guillotining, The Gilded Age is pretty damn compelling. Created by Julian Fellowes, who also created Downton Abbey (and there are a LOT of similarities between the two shows, including very similar plot twists), The Gilded Age follows the ambitious Russell family as they try to integrate into the elite world of fashionable New York City in the 1880s. 

George Russell (Morgan Spector) is new money--he made his fortune through his own hard work (and on the backbreaking labor of many others, of course!). Old Money New York hates "new people" and excludes them at every turn. However, George's wife, Bertha (Carrie Coon, a force to be reckoned with), is viciously ambitious and will stop at nothing to not only force her way into society, but to dominate it completely. 

Like Downton Abbey, The Gilded Age follows a huge cast of characters, including both "downstairs" and "upstairs" people, as they navigate a period in United States history where a tiny percentage of stupidly wealthy people owned everything and everyone else worked their asses off for scraps. Sounds a bit familiar, eh? The acting is top notch, with talent such as Christine Baranski, Cynthia Nixon, Audra McDonald, and Nathan Lane among the cast. It's also, of course, gorgeous to look at (the clothing, especially). And it's amazing how quickly I got sucked into the drama. Even the wealthy cry bitter tears at night, and I'm here for it.

Grade: A

***

The Assessment

I wanted more out of this dystopian film about a future in which couples must apply to become parents. In the (not too distant?) future, Mia (Elizabeth Olsen) and Aaryan (Himesh Patel) are a successful couple living on the "new world" where resources are extremely scarce and raising a child is a luxury and a privilege. The couple applies for parenthood and an assessor, Virginia (Alicia Vikander), comes to live with them for a week to assess their parental worthiness. Things get weird real fast.

The Assessment feels like an extra long Black Mirror episode and, frankly, not one of the better episodes. The film is intriguing and certainly tense as hell, but I don't really think it says anything new about parenting or society--though it seems to want to say something new. I was left feeling pretty empty by the end of the film--not out of depression or sadness, but more in a "well, that was certainly a movie" type of way. Great acting by Olsen and Vikander. Check it out if you enjoy dystopian stories.

Grade: B

***

You'll Never Find Me

This single-location horror film fell flat. Brendan Rock plays Patrick, a man living alone in a trailer park. During a horrible storm a woman--named only "The Visitor" (played by Jordan Cowan)--knocks on his door asking to use his phone. Patrick lets her in but explains that he doesn't have a phone and she'll need to wait until the storm dies down so that he can take her to the pay phone at the edge of the park.

Scary, tense shit ensues. The audience wonders if Patrick is going to hurt the woman. Sure seems that way when he practically demands that she take a shower to "warm up". But then we wonder if she is going to hurt him. After all, wouldn't it be too obvious if the big scary man hurt the poor, soaking wet lady?

You'll Never Find Me is a straight-to-Shudder horror film and it shows. The single location suggests that it was made on a shoestring budget, which is admirable, but doesn't make for a compelling film. It starts off slow and ends up not going to a particularly interesting place. I'd say skip it and make room for a better film. 

Grade: C

***

The Mothman Prophecies

I hadn't seen this 2002 film since it was in theatres and the only thing I remembered was "chapstick" (IYKYK). An online friend mentioned watching it and, as coincidence (or Mothman interference) would have it, I found the DVD for a buck at a thrift store not long after. I watched it with my mom and we agreed: pretty ok movie! I didn't love the frenetic, choppy editing, but the story of John Klein (Richard Gere), a man grieving the loss of his wife (Debra Messing), and then mysteriously drawn to Point Pleasant, West Virginia and beset with disturbing visions, is compelling. 

The Mothman is a cryptid that was spotted numerous times in 1966 and 1967 in Point Pleasant. In December of 1967, the Silver Bridge, connecting Ohio and West Virginia, collapsed, killing 46 people. Many folks believed there was a connection between the Mothman sightings and the bridge collapse. In 1975, journalist John Keel wrote a book about the sightings and what they could mean. That book became the basis for this film (even though the film takes place in the early 2000s). Got all that?

Mothmen have famously chapped lips

I really enjoy movies where a person becomes obsessed with something spooky--either a crime or something supernatural--and has to do a bunch of research to put all the clues together. While The Mothman Prophecies is nowhere near as good as, for example, Zodiac, it still pushes a lot of those buttons for me. It also weaves in a message about grief. John Klein is extra vulnerable to becoming obsessed with the Mothman because he is still grieving the loss of his wife (who saw and drew pictures of the Mothman before she died) and the search for answers provides both a distraction from difficult emotions and a reason for his wife's death. If he can save others, maybe his wife's death meant something.

Overall, a solid movie but not an all-timer for me, apologies to Mr. Mothman.

Grade: B

***

The Human Centipede

I did it, y'all. I watched Tom Six's masterpiece, The Human Centipede. I have been avoiding this movie since I heard about it in 2009. I had nightmares about this movie from simply hearing the premise of it. Not even watching the trailer, which I avoided. 

Time went on, I got more into horror movies, I listened to a bunch of podcasts about The Human Centipede, and finally I realized that the movie will not scare me or even gross me out too much. So I girded my anus and sat down to watch the film. 

And you guys will be so shocked at what I found out: the movie fucking sucks.

The Human Centipede is poorly acted (with somewhat of an exception for Dieter Laser, who plays the mad Dr. Heiter with maximum camp), boring, not scary, and honestly not even that gross. The idea of people stitched ass-to-mouth is gross, but you don't really see anything. Not that I'm complaining.

Extreme horror fans will tell you that The Human Centipede 2 is really the one to watch out for and that it is absolutely disgusting and stomach churning. I had a notion that I might watch the sequels, but I somehow feel like my time might be better spent scrubbing my toilet with a toothbrush.

The Human Centipede is more of a gimmick than an actual movie. At 90 minutes, the film feels way too long. When I tell you that almost nothing happens in this movie, I'm not exaggerating. The movie is basically this: "Hey, man, I had this crazy thought! What if some crazy doctor kidnapped people and stitched them ass-to-mouth so that they were forced to eat each other's poop?! Wouldn't that be insane??" That's the movie. It's a drunken thought expressed in a bar after one too many beers. In fact, director Tom Six came up with the premise of the film after talking with a friend about the worst possible punishment for a pedophile (being stitched via mouth to an overweight trucker's asshole, apparently). Ironically, there are no pedophiles in this movie as far as I can tell, only innocent victims. Now, a movie about pedophiles being stitched ass-to-mouth might actually be interesting. But sadly, all we have is this movie, which ain't much more than a fart in the wind.

Grade: D

Stuff I watched in...June, 2025

The Girl with the Needle

(spoilers)

Filmed in luscious black and white, The Girl with the Needle is based on the true story of Dagmar Overbye, a Danish serial killer who murdered unwanted children. The movie's protagonist is Karoline (Vic Cameron Sonne), a young woman trying to eke out an existence in post-WWI Denmark. Her husband is assumed to be dead, but with no death certificate, she cannot apply for widow's assistance. She begins an affair with her boss, who gets her pregnant, but she is abandoned by him when his mother refuses to let the two marry.

Karoline tries to perform and abortion on herself with a knitting needle in a public bath, but is stopped by Dagmar (Trine Dyrholm), who tells her there is another way: have the baby and give it to her. She will find a good family for it. After Karoline gives birth, she does just that and she asks to be a wet nurse for Dagmar so that the babies left in Dagmar's care can have something to eat before Dagmar finds families for them.

Of course, if you read the first sentence of this review, you know that there are no good families taking these babies in. Just Dagmar "doing what has to be done". 

The Girl with the Needle has been described by its director, Magnus von Horn, as a "fairy tale for grown-ups"...but I don't see anything fantastical about the film. I just see a movie about women helping other women survive. Dagmar's actions are immoral. She lies to the women who are trusting her with their babies even if they are unable to raise the children themselves. But the society these women live in isn't making it easy, or even possible at all, for them to raise their children. The monster of the film isn't Dagmar, it's the patriarchy! Or society. Or Christianity. All the same boogeymen who pretend to care about women while fucking them and then fucking them over.

The Girl with the Needle is a gorgeous, brutal movie that can be a bit slow at times. I loved its defiant spirit.  

Grade: A-

***

Friendship

Confession: I have not yet watched Tim Robinson's by all accounts hilarious show I Think You Should Leave even though I know I would like it. It's just one of dozens of shows I haven't gotten around to yet. However, now that I've seen the mega-cringe movie Friendship, starring Robinson as Craig Waterman and Paul Rudd as Austin Carmichael, I feel that I've gotten a taste of I Think You Should Leave.

Directed by Andrew DeYoung, Friendship is about Craig, a suburban dad who befriends newcomer to the neighborhood, Austin. Austin is much cooler than Craig and has a group of guy friends, is in a band, and is a weatherman on a local news channel: essentially royalty in Craig's eyes. After Craig alienates Austin's friends at a guy's night in, he is friend-dumped by Austin and becomes increasingly desperate to get back into Austin's good graces. 

Friendship is often described as a "cringe comedy"--and it is, indeed, massively cringe--however, it is not cringe in the way that The Office is, where there are "normal" people like Pam and Jim who understand the rules of society and there are weirdos like Dwight and Michael Scott, who break those rules. In the world of Friendship, everyone is a little off. Austin's guy friends randomly start singing "My Boo" during their hangout, freaking out Craig. Similarly, Craig's wife, Tami (Kate Mara), has a habit of kissing their teenage son, Steven (Jack Dylan Glazer) on the lips. Although Austin, Tami, and Steven represent "normal" people...they're fuckin weird too! So while the movie is cringe comedy, it's also surreal comedy. And it walks the very fine line between being so weird it almost feels menacing and being straight up hilarious.

Friendship is not for everyone. If you're not into Tim Robinson's unique brand of unhinged humor, you'll probably feel your teeth grinding and your muscles seizing up while watching it. For a lot of people, embarrassing and awkward comedy is worse than horror. But for those who crack up at people saying absurd shit with a straight face and making fools of themselves, you're in for a treat. 

Grade: B+

***

The Exorcism 

Weirdly enough, actor Russell Crowe has been in two movies involving exorcisms within the past couple years. In one movie, The Pope's Exorcist, he plays a priest called in to perform an exorcism on a young boy. In this movie, The Exorcism, he plays a washed up, alcoholic actor who takes the role as a priest called in to perform an exorcism on a young girl in a movie. Got it? 

I was surprised to see how poorly the film is rated on Rotten Tomatoes, especially since it has this kind of interesting meta thing to it: Crowe's washed up actor is Anthony Miller. Jason Miller, an actual actor who struggled with alcoholism, played Father Karras in The Exorcist. So I assumed it would be a kind of tribute to him.

The movie starts out not too bad, but gives way to predictability and tropes by the end. This movie wants to be The Exorcist so badly. It leans into nasty language in a very performative and faux-edgy way (while Crowe is possessed, he tells his daughter "she'll never eat your pussy like I can" about said daughter's girlfriend). I was not impressed.

The Exorcism is boring and not scary. Crowe gives a good performance, but the material is beneath him. 

Grade: C

***

Presence

Steven Soderbergh's Presence is a ghost story from the POV of the ghost. Literally. The Payne family moves into a house and daughter Chloe (Callina Liang) can feel the presence immediately. She notices things moving around on their own and feels like she's being watched all the time. Having lost a close friend recently to a drug overdose, Chloe believe the presence is her friend Nadia.

The Payne family is a dysfunctional one. Mom Rebekah (Lucy Liu) is, frankly, a bitch. She openly favors her son Tyler (Eddy Maday), a popular jock, to her introverted daughter. Her husband Chris (Chris Payne), sees how fucked up this is and tries to intervene, but is a bit of a doormat. However, he is seriously thinking about divorce.

We view the Payne family drama from the perspective of the presence, who floats around the house, peeking in on personal conversations. I went into this movie expecting it to be boring and not scary. Well, I have half right. Presence is not scary. That doesn't mean it's not a horror movie in its own way. It's also not boring. The family drama is juicy AF, even though I wanted to strangle Rebekah. 

I won't say anything further as to not spoil anything, but it's a movie worth checking out, especially if you're a fan of Soderbergh. His movies don't always hit, but he's willing to try out a lot of interesting filmmaking methods (or "gimmicks", to be less generous) and I appreciate his creativity.

Grade: B

***

The Wrath of Khan

I'm not a huge Star Trek fan, but my partner is and he suggested we watch this film. To my surprise, I really enjoyed it. It's basically a two-hour long episode of the original Star Trek and it brings back a villain from a 1967 episode of the original series. 

I'm not going to describe the plot. It's Star Trek. I will say I was surprised at the emotional ending of the film and was...almost crying?? What?? Let's just say that Leonard Nimoy is the GOAT and Spock is (obviously) the best character on the show. 

Grade: B

***

Skincare

This movie annoyed the hell out of me. Starring Elizabeth Banks as Hope Goldman, a celebrity aesthetician, Skincare is a sort of satirical thriller about the beauty industry in LA. Hope has her own skincare studio and her skincare line is about to be released into stores, when a new kid of the block, Angel Vergara (Luis Gerardo Mendez), opens his own skincare studio right across the street from her! The nerve!

Mysteriously fucked up things begin to happen to Hope. For example, "she" sends out what appears to be a drunken, confessional email to all her contacts one evening, humiliating her on a huge scale. Or course, Hope didn't actually send it--she was hacked. But no one seems to believe her (which, side note, I thought was weird. People get hacked all the time. Why wouldn't people--especially those close to her--believe her?). Hope blames Angel, thinking that he is trying to sabotage her.

Skincare is a deeply unpleasant film that ultimately feels pointless. Although Hope is a self-absorbed "Karen" type woman, it's upsetting to watch her be terrorized, nearly sexually assaulted, and not believed. And it's sad to watch her blame it on the Hispanic gay man next door. This movie really feels like it was written by a man (the screenplay is actually by three people, only one of whom I can confirm is a man). The movie seems to say: wow, aren't people in the LA  beauty industry shallow? Which...um, yes? What exactly is being satirized here? All I'm seeing is a woman and a man of color being tortured. 

Skip this one and rewatch The Substance instead.

Grade: C

***

Dune Prophecy 

After rewatching Dune: Part Two recently, I was like "I need more Dune content!". So I watched the HBO series Dune Prophecy, which takes place about 10,000 years before the events of Dune and follows the rise of the Bene Gesserit--the sisterhood of women who are able to tell if people are lying and influence leaders on their decision-making. 

Although I wouldn't consider Dune Prophecy to be an all-timer TV show for me, it was very enjoyable. Starring Emily Watson and Olivia Coleman as sisters Valya and Tula Harkonnen who run a school for young women in the arts of truth-saying, the show provides insight about the history of the Bene Gesserit and their multi-millennia plans to steer the direction of, well, the universe, using every tool at their disposal--ethical or not.

Dune Prophecy is like Game of Thrones in space. There are warring families and political intrigue and betrayal. There's a lot less incest and rape, however! If you like TV with strong, complicated women, this is one for you!

Grade: B+

28 Days/Weeks/Years Later

I've never been a huge fan of zombie movies. In fact, I only recently watched George Romero's Night of the Living Dead, often considered one of the most important and seminal zombie flicks (though there were zombie movies that came decades before it)...and found it a total snooze of a movie.

But when 28 Days Later came out in 2002, it was something different. Directed by Danny Boyle and written by Alex Garland, 28 Days Later was gnarly and cool. It introduced me to an Irish actor with pretty boy looks who could also kick major ass. It's a movie that is brutal and also filled with moments of love. And although the rage zombies are pretty scary...it's the human beings who are the true brutes.

I won't go into the whole plot of 28 Days Later because I want to dedicate most of this blog post to 28 Years Later, but essentially a group of four survivors of the "rage virus", which turns humans into mindless, violent monsters, hear a recording on the radio that promises protection and a cure for the virus. When they find the men who made the recording, they realize they've entered an entirely different kind of trap. 

28 Days Later reflects on different types of masculinity that emerge when society crumbles: men who protect and men who take advantage. 28 Days Later juxtaposes the instincts of Jim (Cillian Murphy) and Frank (Brendan Gleeson) with the group of soldiers they come across in their journey, especially when it comes to their relationships with women. Even if you haven't seen the movie you can probably guess at what I'm getting at.

28 Weeks Later came out in 2007 and is so boring and nothingburger that I'm going to skip over it. It has a different director and writer and is a very generic action/zombie movie. 

28 Years Later is out in theatres now and pairs Danny Boyle and Alex Garland up again. Once more, they capture the brutal magic of 28 Days Later...and then some. I'd venture to say that Years surpasses Days in both sheer entertainment and in emotional depth.

The film takes place, you guessed it, 28 years after the initial outbreak of the rage virus. Continental Europe has eradicated the virus, but the British Isles are still on quarantine. A community lives on the island of Lindisfarne, which is connected to the mainland by a causeway that people are able to walk across when the tide is low.

Jaime (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) takes his 12 year old son Spike (a wonderful Alfie Williams) onto the mainland to get his first "kill". The boys of Lindisfarne are taught how to use a bow and arrow, and hunting zombies is a rite of passage. However, Spike's mother, Isla (Jodie Comer), is horrified at the thought of her baby going to the zombie-infested mainland. The thing is, Isla is very ill and since there are no doctors on Lindisfarne, no one can diagnose her. When Spike finds out that a man named Dr. Kelson (Ralph Fiennes, MVP of this film) lives on the mainland, he is determined to bring his mother to him in hopes that the doctor can help her.

28 Years Later will break your fucking heart. I don't want to go into plot spoilers, but I will reveal that Dr. Kelson is considered an eccentric (and possibly dangerous) loon by the Islanders. It turns out that he has dedicated his life to building a bone graveyard--a memento mori monument, if you will--to honoring the dead. Both those who were killed by rage zombies and the victims of the rage virus itself. 

Weirdly enough, days before I saw this film I got into a debate on Discord about whether or not death is an inherently bad thing or something to be eliminated. It's a long story, but I was on the side that believes that a lack of acceptance of death is the enemy, not death itself. And, to paraphrase the words of Nate Fisher of Six Feet Under, "people have to die to make life important". Hell, I'll just let him tell you himself:

28 Years Later agrees with me and with Nate Fisher. Dr. Kelson, rather than joining a community fighting to survive, dedicates whatever is left of his life to honoring the countless deaths of others. In many ways, Kelson is the sane one while the Islanders are the deluded, eccentric ones.

28 Days Later explores masculinity in a world where society has crumbled and 28 Years Later builds on this exploration and adds more layers, such as how people fall back on old ways of thinking and living in order to rebuild society and take comfort in the familiar. For example, the Islanders have portraits of Queen Elizabeth II in their houses and pubs. The Monarchy has certainly crumbled at this point in time, but they still cling onto the familiarity of that tradition. We see young boys being trained in archery and young girls working in the kitchen with older women. Again, when society crumbles, people fall back on "the ways things were". 

A central question that comes up in both 28 Days Later and 28 Years Later is: it it worth surviving if you lose your humanity in the process? I don't think there is a correct answer to this. Survival is an instinct and some of us have it more strongly than others. The Islanders of Lindisfarne are not wrong to survive and rebuild their community. But neither is Dr. Kelson wrong to dedicate his life in a different way. And both movies show that survival is only meaningful if you have something (or more specifically, someone) to live for...and that there are fates worse than death, such as losing your soul.

One more thing: 28 Years Later uses the Rudyard Kipling poem "Boots" to great effect. The poem and the way it is read captures the creepiness, the madness, and the monotony of constantly fighting an enemy you haven't been able to defeat in decades. 

Grades:

28 Days Later: A-

28 Weeks Later: C-

28 Years Later: A

New York Times 100 Best Movies of the 21st Century.

We're a quarter of a way into the 21st century and it's been...mostly a complete nightmare! 9/11, War in Iraq, Trump, COVID, the return of low-riding jeans. A nightmare!!

But at least we've had some darn good movies, right?

The failing New York Times has crafted a list of the best films of the 21st century. Below is the list, with the movies I've seen bolded. Then, I'll rank the ones I've seen in order of MY favorite, with commentary. 

***

100: Superbad

99: Memories of Murder

98: Grizzly Man

97: Gravity

96: Black Panther

95: The Worst Person in the World

94: Minority Report

93: Michael Clayton

92: Gladiator

91: Fish Tank

90: Frances Ha

89: Interstellar

88: The Gleaners & I

87: The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

86: Past Lives

85: Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

84: Melancholia

83: Inside Llewyn Davis

82: The Act of Killing

81: Black Swan

80: Volver

79: The Tree of Life

78: Aftersun

77: Everything Everywhere All at Once

76: O Brother, Where Art Thou?

75: Amour

74: The Florida Project

73: Ratatouille

72: Carol

71: Ocean's Eleven

70: Let the Right One In

69: Under the Skin

68: The Hurt Locker

67: Tar

66: Spotlight

65: Oppenheimer

64: Gone Girl

63: Little Miss Sunshine

62: Memento

61: Kill Bill vol. 1

60: Whiplash

59: Toni Erdmann

58: Uncut Gems

57: Best in Show 

56: Punch-Drunk Love

55: Inception

54: Pan's Labyrinth

53: Borat

52: The Favourite

51: 12 Years a Slave

50: Up

49: Before Sunset

48: The Lives of Others

47: Almost Famous

46: Roma

45: Moneyball

44: Once Upon a Time...in Hollywood

43: Oldboy

42: The Master

41: Amelie

40: Yi-Yi

39: Lady Bird

38: Portrait of a Lady on Fire

37: Call Me By Your Name

36: A Serious Man

35: A Prophet

34: Wall-E

33: A Separation

32: Bridesmaids

31: The Departed

30: Lost in Translation

29: Arrival

28: The Dark Knight

27: Adaptation

26: Anatomy of a Fall

25: The Phantom Thread

24: Her

23: Boyhood

22: The Grand Budapest Hotel

21: The Royal Tenenbaums

20: The Wolf of Wall Street

19: Zodiac

18: Y Tu Mama Tambien

17: Brokeback Mountain

16: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

15: City of God

14: Inglourious Basterds

13: Children of Men

12: The Zone of Interest

11: Mad Max: Fury Road

10: The Social Network

9: Spirited Away

8: Get Out

7: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

6: No Country for Old Men

5: Moonlight

4: In the Mood for Love

3: There Will Be Blood

2: Mulholland Drive

1: Parasite

***

I've seen 84 on the list! But, of course, I'd rank them differently. Here is *my* ranking of the ones I've seen (with commentary):

These are the ones that I am actively mad are on the list. I don't like them (at least not enough to be on a "top 100" list) and could replace them with other films I do like:

84: Ocean's Eleven

83: Minority Report

82: Under the Skin

81. Gladiator

80: Interstellar 

79: Gravity

78: The Tree of Life

Now we get to the ones that I'm not crazy about, but I "get" why they are on the list. Many of these are films I've seen once and really need to watch again. I haven't watch Spirited Away and City of God in 20 years and I know I'm doing them dirty by ranking them so low, but I can't remember them.

77: The Hurt Locker

76: Arrival

75: Inside Llewyn Davis

74: Little Miss Sunshine

73: Up

72: City of God

71: Spirited Away

70: Lost in Translation

69: Black Panther

68: Superbad

67: Melancholia

66: Frances Ha

65: Best in Show

64: Pan's Labyrinth

63: Oppenheimer

62: Anatomy of a Fall

At this point, we enter the "meh" zone. These are good movies and I enjoyed them, but I don't really think about them much. They don't excite me the way others on the list do.

61: Memento

60: Let the Right One In

59: Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship the Ring

58: The Florida Project

57: Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

56: A Separation

55: A Serious Man

54: Y Tu Mama Tambien

53: Borat

52: Oldboy

51: In the Mood for Love

50: The Zone of Interest

49: The Favourite

48: The Phantom Thread

47: Almost Famous

Here, we enter into the "yes, this is actually good and I also do like them zone". These are all good movies, most of which I've watched multiple times...although some I do need to revisit.

46: Portrait of a Lady on Fire

45: Moonlight

44: Everything Everywhere All at Once

43: Uncut Gems

42: Mulholland Drive

41: Punch-Drunk Love

40: Children of Men

39: Volver

38: Her

37: Once Upon a Time...in Hollywood

36: Adaptation

35: Fish Tank

34: Grizzly Man

33: The Dark Knight

32: Bridesmaids

31: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

30: Tar

29: Spotlight

28: Inception

27: The Grand Budapest Hotel

26: Before Sunset

25: Whiplash

24: Mad Max: Fury Road

23: Amelie

22: Kill Bill vol. 1

21: The Wolf of Wall Street

20: There Will Be Blood

19: The Master

18: Carol

17: 12 Years a Slave

Finally, we come to the pure pleasure zone. These are all movies I LOVE, have seen multiple times, would easily watch again, and would recommend to others without hesitation. 

16: The Royal Tenenbaums

15: Lady Bird

14: Brokeback Mountain

13: The Social Network

12: The Departed

11: Parasite

10: Black Swan

9: O Brother, Where Art Thou?

8: The Lives of Others

7: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

6: Gone Girl

5: No Country for Old Men

4: Get Out

3: Zodiac

2: Call Me By Your Name

1: Inglourious Basterds 

***

What's missing? Some of my favorite movies from the 21st century which didn't make the list at all include:

The Duke of Burgundy

The Prestige

Magic Mike

Moonrise Kingdom

Green Room

Midsommar

The Ring

Quills 

Secretary

Bernie

Wonder Boys

American Splendor

Kinsey

Challengers

Ghost World

The Love Witch

The Lobster

Dogville

Donnie Darko

The Forty Year Old Virgin

The Wrestler

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

The Lighthouse

Bring Her Back

In 2022, brothers Danny and Michael Philippou released their first feature film, Talk to Me. I saw it in the theatre and it was one of the best theatre-going experiences I've had. The movie is terrifying and uses body horror in a way that makes people genuinely flip out. The audience reactions--screaming, groaning, whimpering--just added to the experience of the film. I gave Talk to Me an "A" rating.

Now the Philippou brothers are back with another horror film titled Bring Her Back. The teaser-trailer was terrifying and the hype just grew and grew. 

Bring Her Back is one of the most grueling and punishing horror movies I've seen. On every level, this film is viscerally upsetting. It's a deeply unpleasant watch and it absolutely succeeds as horror. But it's so intense and so relentless that I just couldn't vibe with it. Not the way I wanted to and not the way I vibed with Talk to Me, which is a similarly bleak film. 

Bring Her Back is a movie that is more horrifying than terrifying. I consider a movie "terrifying" when it scares me--my pulse is pounding, I'm curled into a ball on the seat, and I have trouble sleeping that night. Movies that have terrified me in the past include The Ring, It Follows, The Descent, and the Philippou's last movie Talk to Me. Bring Her Back, however, didn't "scare" me. Instead, I watched a film with grotesque body horror (which was impossible to watch, but not "scary") and relentless child abuse and gaslighting. And to be clear: the movie is not shocking for the sake of shocking. It has a very clear and strong message and the emotional and physical torture are for a reason (I'll get to the plot in a minute). But that kind of thing doesn't "scare" me...it horrifies me. It plunges me into rage and despair.

I'm really selling this movie, right? Haha.

Ok, so the plot: teenage siblings Andy (Billy Barratt) and Piper (Sora Wong) are recently orphaned. Their dad dies of a heart attack while in the shower and mom is out of the picture. They are put in foster care with a woman named Laura (Sally Hawkins in a powerhouse performance), who also has a strange, mute son named Ollie (Jonah Wren Phillips).

Right from word go, we know something is very wrong with Laura. She mentions that she had a daughter who died. The daughter was blind. Piper is also blind and Laura is immediately smitten with her. Laura is not so thrilled that Andy and Piper come as a pair, and she's especially annoyed that Andy is three months away from turning 18 and plans to apply for guardianship of Piper when he's old enough.

Laura also locks Ollie in his room everyday, so that's not cool.

Bring Her Back is not a mystery: we know exactly what Laura's plan is. She has somehow discovered weird videotapes of an occult ritual where people are able to bring back a dead person. It involves using a demon inside someone to eat the corpse of the dead person and then purge the soul into a new body. Laura sees Piper as that new body, and she's using Ollie as the vessel to transfer Cathy's soul into Piper. Meanwhile, Laura embarks on an epic gaslightling campaign to convince social workers, Piper, and Andy himself that Andy is not suited to be Piper's guardian, despite the very clear love and care he has for Piper. To me, a grown woman torturing a 17 year old boy and driving him insane when all he wants to do is protect his baby sis is the most disturbing aspect of the movie. Moreso than horrific scenes of possessed Ollie chewing on a sharp knife and breaking his teeth on the edge of a table.

Sally Hawkins as Laura, a mother struggling with complicated grief that drives her to destroy other people's lives, is astounding. Laura is a rare villain who is completely three-dimensional, yet I could not empathize with her one bit. In fact, I'd go so far as to say she's not even "evil" despite committing evil acts. She's desperate. Absolutely desperate. But what she does to Ollie, Andy, and Piper is unforgivable. 

This is also a random connection, but I'm in the middle of reading Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver, which is about a lot of things, but especially about how children--especially children in the foster system--are taken advantage of by adults charged with protecting them. Those same exact themes came up in Bring Her Back. Laura doesn't see Piper as a person--she sees her as a means to an end: bring Cathy back. And she sees Andy as an obstacle to get out of the way. 

Bring Her Back is a good movie and very effective as horror. But it is too bleak for me. The movie is suffering heaped on suffering. For ALL the characters. And though some people may empathize with Laura's mindless, desperate drive to bring her daughter back, I did not. I hated Laura. Loving your child is not an excuse to torture other children. Parenthood is not, in fact, sacred in this way. And the movie reminded me of one of the best quotes in horror media of all time: "Sometimes, dead is better."

Grade: B+

Movies that make you feel something: a review of Ghostlight

Last night I watched a remarkable movie called Ghostlight. I was going to include a short review of it along with my monthly "What I watched in..." update, but by the end of the film I knew I had to give it it's own separate review.

Spoiler warning. Do not read this review until you've seen the movie and...please. Please! See the movie.

Ghostlight is about a grieving family navigating the aftermath of a horrible loss. The film mostly focuses on Dan Mueller (Keith Kupferer), the middle-aged father who works a blue collar job in construction and is struggling with how to rein in his rebellious teenage daughter, Daisy (Katherine Mallen Kupferer), and remain connected to his wife Sharon (Tara Mallen). You'll notice that the Mueller family is played by an actual family. Ghostlight is, above all, honest and realistic. Most of the actors are not well known, so there's no star power getting in the way of believing that these characters are real people. 

The loss that the Mueller family is processing is the suicide of son Brian. They are suing the family of Brian's girlfriend, Christine (Lia Cubilete), who they believe encouraged the suicide. The teens decided to kill themselves when Christine's family planned on moving and Brian couldn't move with her. They both took pills. Christine woke up. Brian didn't. 

Dan gets pulled into a role in a community theatre production of Romeo and Juliet, purely because his construction site is outside of the playhouse, and lead actress Rita (Dolly de Leon) notices that Dan seems on edge and angry. She invites him to read for the part of Lord Capulet, explaining that it seems to her that Dan might want to pretend to be someone else for a while. Despite Dan being extremely outside his comfort zone, he keeps coming back and eventually he is cast in the role of Romeo with Rita as Juliet. The two are middle-aged--the wrong ages for the part, but the right ages to match each other.

Now, at this point you might say "Hmmm, a grieving father cast in the role of a teenage boy who makes a suicide pact with his girlfriend, just like the man's own son did? Pretty big coincidence!" Indeed, this is the only aspect of Ghostlight that is a bit silly and unbelievable. But if you can set that aside, or see it as a situation in which life gives you exactly what you need in the moment, it really is a beautiful example of how art imitates life and vice versa, and how art allows us to process and face difficult emotions. 

Through acting and theatre, Dan is able to finally empathize with how his son felt at the moment he took his own life. Dan's rage transforms to understanding, allowing him to really grieve and, importantly, forgive Christine and Christine's family. There is an absolutely heartbreaking moment where Dan runs into Christine at a mini golf park and she tearfully apologizes to him and says "I didn't mean to wake up". GAH.

Ghostlight is one of the most humane, honest, vulnerable, and real movies I've seen in awhile. It reminds me of why I love movies (and books) so much: they help me feel things. You can't connect with your emotions while scrolling through social media, not really. You may feel anger and rage and self-righteousness, but those are shadows of the actual emotions lurking beneath: the hurt, the fear, the vulnerability. That's where longer form art comes in. Movies, TV shows, books...fucking opera, man. You need something more in order to access and process those more complex feelings. And many people either can't or won't go that deep. I've lived a pretty sheltered and lucky life, with some struggles but nothing like the loss of a child. But I want to be able to understand and empathize with someone who has struggled with that. Not because I actually want to experience trauma and loss myself (who does?), but because despite my introversion and misanthropy, I want to connect to other human beings. And just as Dan finds that art allows him a safe space to feel and process, I find that movies like Ghostlight are a safe space to feel and process. 

Don't be afraid to read and watch sad things. By doing so, you become more human.

Grade: A+

Stuff I watched in...May, 2025

I had the chance to watch a ton of stuff in May because I was ill for almost the entire month! Yay? Enjoy the reviews...

Dying for Sex

This 8-episode series on Hulu is based on the life and death of Molly Kochan, who co-hosted a podcast of the same name shortly before she passed from cancer. After receiving a terminal diagnosis, Molly left her husband and began having many, many unique sexual encounters before her death. While the choice to leave one's spouse and go fuck-crazy knowing you'll die in two years probably sounds like a nightmare (and selfish) for many, I can kind of see why someone would do it. If you KNEW you were going to die, what would you stop putting off? Or, more pointedly, when would you start getting off?

Molly is played by the doe-eyed, lovely Michelle Willams. Her best friend and caretaker, Nikki, is played by Jenny Slate. First and foremost, Dying for Sex is about the power of female friendships. Molly leaves her husband, Steve (Jay Duplass), and avoids her mother, Gail (Sissy Spacek), because neither of those people can provide Molly the emotional care she needs.

After confessing to a hospice worker, Sonya (Esco Jouley), that she has never had an orgasm with another person, Molly decides "fuck it, I'm dying, nothing matters" and begins hooking up with strangers. But she specifically goes the BDSM route and begins playing with men who want to be kicked in the balls, treated like a dog, and humiliated. On the eve of her death, Molly is born a Domme. 

Dying for Sex is quite funny, but also deeply poignant and so, so empathetic towards dying people. It shows that even people who are dying have goals and might not be these beautiful, perfect "angels" in the event of their death. Our culture surrounding death is abominable--they way we hide it, medicalize it, and care more about keeping a body alive than caring for the spirit inside the body. I wouldn't be surprised if some viewers found this show repugnant--a woman leaving her caring husband to do weird shit like pee on submissive men? WHILE DYING?? I imagine it would blow some people's minds. But they found the right viewer in me because if there are two things that fascinate me and that I have a very open mind toward, it's sex and death. 

If it sounds like a show you'd like, give it a try. Be careful--you'll need tissues. 

Grade: A-

***

Queer

Speaking of sex, Luca Guadagnino's adaptation of William Burroughs' novel, has a lot of it. Based on his own life, Burroughs follows William Lee, a gay man in the 1950s who moves from the United States to Mexico City. He pursues a younger man, Eugene Allerton, who is probably not gay but sorta...lets Lee do things to him. Lee eventually convinces Allerton to travel to South America to search for ayahuasca so they can go on a powerful drug trip together.

In the film, William Lee is played by Daniel Craig, and it's a perfect fit. Craig is a handsome older man, but he reeks of desperation and lust in this role. It's believable that he would be able to seduce younger men, but also that these same younger men wouldn't exactly...respect him.

Eugene Allerton is played by Drew Starkey. It's kind of left up to interpretation as to whether Allerton is bisexual or just straight but super chill. He seems amused at Lee's attention, but plays coy until Lee makes an explicit pass and then he allows Lee to pleasure him and continues to hang out with the older man. But Lee is obsessed with Allerton to the point where it's embarrassing and uncomfortable to watch. Trust--this is not a love story. It's a story about loneliness and fumbling desire, which director Guadagnino is reigning king of. 

When the two men make their way to South America and find Dr. Cotter (Lesley Manville), a doctor studying the effects of ayahuasca, the film takes a turn for the slapstick and the surreal. The huge tonal shift from "quiet erotic drama" to "The Three Stooges do drugs" somehow works--or at least it did for me. And the ending of this film will leave you in tears.

Queer is not for everyone. It's a bit slow, it's strange, it's got anachronistic music (which I know some people absolutely hate in movies), and the characters aren't likeable. But it also felt quite profound and, honestly, just a lovely movie to watch. It's languid and non-judgemental. If you're a fan of Luca Guadagnino and his particular brand of film, you'll probably find something to enjoy about Queer. 

Grade: A-

***

From Here to Eternity

I have a soft spot for media about WWII. The 1940s are a fascinating time in the United States: after coming out of a long Depression, the whole country had to work together to win the War. Women worked in goddamned factories and did engineering work. Some men who got classified 4-F literally killed themselves in shame. Teenage boys killed Nazis. 

Obviously, there's plenty that was fucked up about American society and the War itself, but I feel very strongly that we modern people cannot judge the men and women who lived 90 years ago because look where we are now. Are we any better than them? Definitely not, and I believe we're worse in some ways. 

So yes, I romanticize an era where it seemed, at least, that people were more willing to work together and sacrifice for the common cause. That said, people had dumb little petty problems like we do today and From Here to Eternity is about those dumb, petty problems. Well...maybe not too petty. But petty compared to what is about to happen in the film.

From Here to Eternity follows the lives of several men living on the Schofield Barracks in Oahu, Hawai'i in the days leading up to Pearl Harbor. The main players are First Sergeant Milton Warden (Burt Lancaster), who is risking prison time by having an affair with his boss, Captain Holmes' (Phil Ober), wife Karen (Deborah Kerr). Karen and Milton are the ones we see making out on the beach in the iconic scene from the movie.

Then there's Private Robert E. Lee Prewitt (Montgomery Clift), who transfers to Schofield. Captain Holmes finds out that Prewitt is a former professional boxer and asks him to join the company's boxing team. When he refuses, Holmes authorizes his men to bully and intimidate Prewitt until he complies.

Prewitt is friends with Private Angelo Maggio (Frank Sinatra), who makes enemies with Staff Sergeant James R. "Fatso" Judson (Ernest Borgnine), who oversees the stockade and vows that if Maggio ends up in the stockade, he will make Judson's life a living hell. Well, guess who ends up in the stockade? 

So, basically, it's a movie about men being wretchedly inhumane to one another and ends with...the Japanese bombing Pearl Harbor. So not exactly a happy ending. Given the film's reputation, I found it just ok. It felt more like a soap opera instead of a war movie, which was ok by me since I'm more interested in people's daily lives during the War as opposed to the actual bang-bang shooting. But it was a little much. 

Below, I review another WWII drama, The Best Years of Our Lives, and found it a far, far more emotionally accessible watch than From Here to Eternity. FHTE came out in 1953 and I have to say that I find movies from the 1950s very emotionally alienating. I had the same issue with Rebel Without a Cause, which seemed melodramatic and phony to me, and I think FHTE suffers from the same fate. 

Grade: B

***

The Ugly Stepsister

The Ugly Stepsister is a body horror film from the perspective of Cinderella's ugly stepsister. Sisters Elvira (Lea Myren) and Alma (Flo Fagerli) travel with their mother, Rebekka (Ane Dahl Torp) to a castle where the mother marries an older man, assuming he has wealth. When he passes away, it is revealed that he was penny less (as are Rebekka, Elvira, and Alma). Now, the family's only hope is for Elvira to marry into wealth.

As luck would have it, Prince Julian (Isac Calmroth) is hosting a ball in 6 months and he will likely pick his bride at this ball. Alma is too young to go, but Elvira and her lovely stepsister, Agnes (Thea Sofie Loch Naess), plan to go. But while Agnes is beautiful and graceful, Elvira is normal. As in, not pretty enough. So Rebekka forces Elvira to make changes to her appearance with crude plastic surgery and a tapeworm. As Elvira gets prettier, she also becomes crueler, and when Agnes is forced to become to family servant, Elvira calls her "Cinderella" and bosses her around just like her mother does.

The Ugly Stepsister is an ugly movie, with body horror out the wazoo. But what is interesting is that all the torture is self-directed. I thought this movie would be a slasher where it was actually Cinderella tormenting Elvira and Elvira getting her revenge. But no, it's all self-harm and self-mutilation with the goal of getting a prince. While I appreciated the twist on the Cinderella story and the body horror is impressive to say the least, this is not a very pleasant or satisfying viewing experience. It's feminist in the sense that it shows how women destroy themselves to be beautiful and get a man. But it's also just kind of a bummer. 

Grade: B

***

The Best Years of Our Lives

The Best Years of Our Lives won Best Picture for the 1946 Oscars and it's easy to see why. The film follows three WWII veterans as they integrate back into civilian life. 

First, there is Fred Derry (Dana Andrews), a decorated bombardier who suffers from PTSD and who married a party girl before he left for war and comes home to find out that she's an unfaithful gold digger. When Fred can't find work, their relationship turns sour.

Then, there's Al Stephenson (Fredric March) a middle-aged man with a wife and two young adult kids who was an Army Sergeant during the war and finds himself increasingly relying on alcohol to cope in civilian life. 

Finally, there is the best character in the film, Homer Parrish (Harold Russell), a Navy man who lost both hands in the war and is outfitted with two mechanical hooks for hands. Russell was a real life veteran who actually did lose his hands. Although Homer is very adept with his hooks, he sees the pity and the stares from friends and family and he hates it. He is also convinced that his fiance, Wilma (Cathy O'Donnell), doesn't want to be with him anymore (which couldn't be further from the truth--she is obviously deeply in love with him).

I went into The Best Years of Our Lives expecting a typical 1940s "Gee whiz! Golly gee! Let's go down to the soda fountain and forget our worries!" type movie. What I got was a deeply layered, emotional but not sentimental film about three men who must face their own vulnerability head on. 

I love movies that explore masculinity through a non-toxic frame, and boy is this ever one of those. The Best Years of Our Lives explores alcoholism, PTSD, and disability in an honest way with no easy answers. It's remarkable. Even the "villains" of the movie, namely Marie Derry (Virginia Mayo), aren't two-dimensional. Although Marie is a selfish woman, we also kind of understand her point of view. She was expecting Fred to come home and be a celebrated war hero who looked impressive on her arm in his uniform. Instead, he never wants to wear the uniform again and can only get a job as a soda jerk making the same money as a teenager would. 

The movie really has no heroes and villains, just people trying to get along after a world war. I was shocked at how sensitive and deep The Best Years of Our Lives was, and if you're into WWII films, you can't do much better than this one.

Grade: A

***

Manhunter

The Silence of the Lambs is one of my all-time favorite movies and I recently decided to finally read the book. While reading it, I rewatched TSOTL, but I also decided to check out Michael Mann's Manhunter, which is an adaptation of Thomas Harris's first book, Red Dragon. 

It was very boring! It follows Detective Will Graham (William Petersen) as he is pulled out of retirement by Jack Crawford (Dennis Farina) and put on the case of a serial killer known as the Tooth Fairy (because he bites his victims). Graham is the one who hunted down and eventually caught this dude you might know as Dr. Hannibal Lecter (spelled "Lecktor" in this film) and sustained massive injuries to body and psyche in the process. But he goes to visit Lecter (played by Brian Cox) to get insight on the Tooth Fairy.

There is another adaptation of this story called Red Dragon which came out in 2002 and stars Ralph Fiennes as the Tooth Fairy, Edward Norton as Graham, and this dude you might know named Anthony Hopkins as Dr. Lecter. Philip Seymour Hoffman is also in it, and he elevates any movie he's in. So, as I watched Manhunter, I wished I was watching Red Dragon. 

I don't know if it's Michael Mann's direction or the 1980s of it all, but Manhunter fell flat for me. It's not awful, it's just "meh". It certainly wasn't scary, and as good as Brian Cox is as Lecter, he's not Anthony Hopkins. 

Grade: B-

***

Novocaine

This fun action comedy stars Jack Quaid as Nathan Caine, a man born with an inability to feel pain, as well as heat or cold. He has lived his life in a bubble with safety precautions such as tennis balls attached to the pointy parts of his furniture, a gauge in the shower to stop him from making the water too hot, and a deep knowledge of first aid. Because not feeling pain isn't a superpower: it's an extremely deadly condition that kills most sufferers before age 25. But Nathan has beat the odds and the 30-something now works as an assistant manager at a bank.

He even might be on the verge of having a girlfriend! Amber Midthunder plays Sherry, a new bank teller with a mysterious past whom asks Nathan out to lunch after she accidentally causes him to burn himself with coffee. The two hit it off and spend the night together. However, the next day, tragedy strikes: three men dressed as Santa Claus rob the bank. They kill the manager, force Nathan to open the safe, and then take Sherry as a hostage.

Nathan, in full panic mode at the thought of Sherry's safety, steals a cop car and goes on a mission to find the criminals and save Sherry. And, of course, not feeling pain puts him at a distinct advantage.

Novocaine is really fun and goofy. Jack Quaid is charming as hell as a man who has lived in a bubble his whole life, but is secretly a badass who can step up to the plate when the woman of his dreams is in danger. He and Amber Midthunder also have serious chemistry. The movie reminded me a lot of Richard Linklater's Hit Man, which is also about a mild mannered man and a hot, mysterious woman. As someone who prefers "beta" type heroes, I was into it. And there are some real laugh out loud moments in Novocaine as well. 

Grade: B+

***

Twisters

Twisters was very much not my kind of movie. I put it on to have something going in the background, but it did not hold my attention. It's been a while since I've seen Twister and this film is a spiritual sequel to that 1996 classic. But it's so predictable and paint-by-numbers that I really didn't like it at all. 

I don't have much to say about it. If you're into disaster movies, you might like it. It was probably a lot more impressive in a theatre, but at home it's not likely to be all that exciting. Not worth your time, I'd say.

Grade: C

***

Pretty Woman

Gary Marshall's classic tale about a hooker with a heart of gold was one of my movie blind spots. It's the kind of movie you don't even need to watch to have watched, you know? It's all over our culture, with references every way you turn.

After finally watching it, I can now say: it's ok. It really just is...ok. 

My criticisms of this movie are mostly about how I don't buy Julia Roberts in this role, and frankly I don't buy Julia Roberts in any role defined by sexuality. Now, this is just my opinion, but Julia Roberts feels like one of the most non-sexual actresses of all time. She's sweet, she's pretty, but I just don't buy that this lady fucks. Which of course is what makes her perfect for the role of Vivian Ward because Pretty Woman is a movie about a sex worker that you can take your grandma to. And you can't take grandma to a movie that's actually about sex work with characters who actually fuck and suck. Instead, we have this very cleaned up fairytale version of sex work that is really about materialism. 

And that's my second criticism: this is a movie that says "how you look to others is the most important thing". Vivian is saved not by just the love of a good man, but by the money of a good man. Without money, Edward (Richard Gere) is nothing. Literally, this man has no personality. Rarely has a hero in a romantic comedy been this boring and just...bland. 

Pretty Woman came to theatres in 1990, but it's a quintessential 1980s movie. It's all about looks, clothes, money, and material possessions. I could not feel more alienated by the values that Pretty Woman espouses. People often see movies like Pretty Woman as comfort watches--something that doesn't challenge you and makes you feel good and believe in happy endings. Pretty Woman feels emotionally to me what movies like Hereditary feel like to non-horror fans: deeply uncomfortable, wrong, fucked up, and just sad. Pretty Woman is the horror movie--the horror of capitalism that we've all bought into and the horror of a movie about an interesting and edgy topic sanded down to nothing. 

The one bright spot is Hector Elizondo, a Gary Marshall regular, who is cast as the hotel manager and brings dignity, humor, and fun to any movie he's in, including this one. 

Grade: B-

***

The Handmaid's Tale, season 6

The Handmaid's Tale started strong and got increasingly ridiculous as the series diverged from the Margaret Atwood novel. I watched the entire series out of a dark fascination and a sunk-cost fallacy. Finally, the show has ended after 6 seasons.

Many of the problems of the show have to do with the stubborn insistence on following the story of Offred/June Osborn (Elisabeth Moss). While it made sense to follow her for the first season, she quickly became the main character for the entire series and we were forced to watch her make stupid and ridiculous choices that would have gotten her killed instantly if all of this happened in real life. 

Also, there's the issue of Moss being a Scientologist. She is a member of a cult that has ruined lives--including the lives of countless women and children. So it's a little rich that she's the main actor and often episode director on a show about misogyny. 

There's also the issue of the show being race-blind and assuming that a patriarchal theocracy would see all colors as equal, especially with the goal of repopulating the country. This is obviously bullshit. Any patriarchal regime in the United States of America would be racist as well as misogynist, and that's not a conjecture--that's a fact. 

So while the novel is one of the greatest depictions of a dystopia of all time, the show is very pretty looking bullshit. But I followed it to the end. 

Season 6 was by far the worst season, with a rushed and unrealistic ending that again put all the power in June's hands. My friends pointed out how awful the last episode in particular was, focusing more on the healing than on the righteous anger that should still be part of these character's lives. Instead, we see June doing karaoke with newly freed handmaids and forgiving Serena and Aunt Lydia. What a hollow ending to a show that started angry and fierce and slid down a slope into a show that wants to say something about spirituality, faith, and forgiveness but doesn't earn it.

Overall, I'd rate season 6 a D+ and the overall series a B. Now, the book is must-read. It's a classic and one of the most important books ever written, in my opinion. Read the book. It's worth your time and attention.

The revolution is her. Because that's how revolutions work.

Sinners

The hype you've undoubtedly heard about Ryan Coogler's latest film, Sinners, is true: the movie is an immersive, rollicking good time with hot actors and hotter music.

If you know little to nothing about the movie, I recommend going in blind. Just know that it's absolutely worth the price of the ticket.

For everyone else, beware of spoilers ahead...

***

Sinners takes place over the course of a single day and night in the Mississippi Delta in 1932. Twins Smoke (Michael B. Jordan) and Stack (Michael B. Jordan)--not their real names, by the way, just cool monikers they go by--are back in town after making their fortune in Chicago. How did they make that fortune? Stealing from gangsters, obviously. 

They're going to use that money to open up a juke joint in their hometown of Clarksdale and most of the day involves buying an old barn from a racist white guy, recruiting their musically-inclined cousin, Sammie (newcomer Miles Caton), and pianist Delta Slim (Delroy Lindo) to be in charge of the music, hiring local grocers Grace and Bo (Li Jun Li and Yao) and Smoke's estranged wife, Annie (a luminous Wunmi Mosaku), to supply and cook catfish for 100 patrons, and convincing field worker Cornbread (Omar Miller) to work as a bouncer.

Stack also tries to avoid Mary (Hailee Steinfeld), a white woman he had a fling with who is furious that he up and left her for Chicago and is now back in town. 

News travels fast in a small town and by nightfall most of Clarksdale's non-white citizens who are also ok with booze and blues are at Club Juke. The drinks are cold, the music is hot, and they can't help but attract the attention of three white people who show up at the door asking to be let in.

If you've seen the preview, you know that the villains in Sinners aren't just any old white folks. They're...creatures of the night. Remmick (Jack O'Connell) shows up at Joan (Lola Kirke) and Bert's (Peter Dreimanis) door, begging to be let in and claiming that he is being hunted by some Native Americans. Once they invite him in, he turns them. Later, the three show up at Club Juke with their fiddles, asking to be let in and allowed to join the party. Smoke and Stack are suspicious and don't allow them inside...but these sneaky vampires eventually find a way.

Sinners is, first and foremost, a love letter to the power of music and how it connects all of us. There is a scene at the juke joint where Sammie starts to play and sing and the power of his music allows other music-makers, past and present, to pierce the veil of time...so we see singers and dancers from many eras and countries jammin' alongside the dancers of Club Juke. It sounds cheesy to type it out, but it was a breathtaking scene done in a single take.

What is interesting is that even the vampires have their own connection to music. Remmick leads his victims in an Irish folks dance, which was a delightfully bizarre sight (who could have guessed that vampires can riverdance?). These vampires are not just mindless predators...they're seductive beings who offer the patrons of Club Juke the opportunity to live in communion with one another--no racism, no hatred, only a hivemind and shared music for all eternity. 

Viewers are going to have many different interpretations of what the message of Sinners is, especially given the film's themes on race, music, and monstrosity. At face value, these vampires seem to be offering something of value: eternal life, the ability to read one another's thoughts (which--in theory at least--can lead to greater empathy), and a "heaven on earth". But at what cost? Smoke's wife, Annie, forces him to promise her that he will kill her if she gets bitten by one of the vampires because she fears her soul being trapped on earth for all eternity...especially since she and Smoke had a child who died as a baby and she knows their son is waiting for her in the great beyond.

For Annie, the power that lies in being immortal is not worth losing her soul in the process. Similarly, after Sammie survives the night, he leaves his little town to become a blues singer--against the wishes of his preacher father. Sammie is willing to leave everything he knows behind to be true to his soul--the soul of a musician. Both Annie and Sammie are true to themselves, despite the cost.

What are we to make of the fact that the vampires are white? Is the movie saying that all white people want to prey on Black people? Maybe, maybe not. I read it as a message against assimilation. In the vampire lore of Sinners, when a victim is turned, they know the thoughts of everyone else in their little vampire family (Remmick being the patriarch of this vampire nest)--they act as a hivemind with the main goal to turn others. Similarly, even "good" white people throughout American history have tried to coerce Black people into assimilating. Sure, they may like Black music and want to party with Black people, but at the end of the day they expect Black people to not be "too" Black. Many white people are more comfortable when Black people act white...and act deferential to white people. 

By rejecting the vampires and fighting them until their own deaths, the patrons of Club Juke who fight back (many get turned by the end of the night) are rejecting the seductive invitation to assimilate. To them, staying true to their own souls is the most important thing...even if they die.

Well, that's one interpretation at least. I'm sure there are others! Sinners clocks in at 2 hours and 17 minutes and, honestly, I would have watched another 40 minutes of it easily. In fact, I think one of the film's flaws is that it feels quite rushed near the end. The pacing is a bit off.

Despite the film's small flaws, Sinners is a powerful, funny, and just plain fun film with gorgeous cinematography and one of the best soundtracks since O Brother Where Art Thou. It's the first must-see movie of 2025. 

Grade: A

Stuff I watched in...April 2025

Severance, season 2

The first season of Severance, the science-fiction show about people "severing" their memories in half so that their work selves have no knowledge of their non-work selves and vice versa, blew me away. It immediately became one of my top TV shows ever with its intriguing mix of dystopian world-building and gut-wrenching emotional depth.

Season 2 lost a bit of that season 1 shine, but there are three episodes in particular (episodes 7, 9, and 10) that hit it out of the park. We learn more about the fate of Gemma Scout/Ms. Casey (Dichen Lachman) in ep. 7, which treats us to flashbacks of Gemma and Mark's relationship as well as chilling scenes of how Lumon is using her now. Episodes 9 and 10 give a lot of airtime to one of the series' best characters, Seth Milchick (Tramell Tillman), a man who has given his all to Lumon only to receive disrespect in return.

Severance is a show that is not afraid to ask some pretty intense questions about human consciousness. The ability to be severed begs the question of what makes us us. Who would you be if you were "born" tomorrow as a full grown adult, but without any memories or experiences that would repress or influence your "true" personality? 

Grade: A-

***

What Lies Beneath

The last time I saw this supernatural homage to Rear Window I was in high school and it scared the hell out of me. I randomly rewatched it and really enjoyed it! Michelle Pfeiffer and Harrison Ford play Claire and Norman Spencer, a well-to-do middle-aged couple getting used to being empty nesters after their daughter heads to college.

Norman is a scientist who works at a university and Claire stays home in their absolutely gorgeous lakeside house in Vermont (in addition to being a spooky movie, What Lies Beneath is total house porn). Claire takes an interest in her new neighbors, Mary and Warren Feur, especially when it appears that there may be domestic violence occurring between the couple. With not much to do around the house, Claire becomes a bit obsessed with spying on the couple, leading to tensions between her and Norman.

However, there are darker secrets at play that are revealed in good time throughout the film. Directed by Robert Zemeckis, What Lies Beneath is a very satisfying homage to Hitchcock with a supernatural twist. It's also a rare movie where Harrison Ford plays a villain. Well worth checking out if you haven't watched it, or revisiting if you have.

Grade: B+

***

The Rule of Jenny Pen

This New Zealand horror film is absolutely bonkers and unlike any horror movie I've seen before. Geoffrey Rush plays Stefan Mortensen, an older judge who has a stroke and is forced to convalesce in an assisted living home since he has no family to help him. Mortensen is very intelligent and also quite arrogant. He sees himself as not like the other old folks in the care home who are in various stages of aging, dementia, and illness and has trouble making friends with them. 

Mortensen becomes suspicious of another resident, Dave Crealy (John Lithgow), who always has a puppet, named Jenny Pen, on his left hand. The employees at the care home think Crealy is a harmless old coot, but Mortensen comes to find out that Crealy used to be an employee at the very same home and uses his old access card to wander the home at night, torturing the other residents. The residents are terrified of Crealy and won't snitch on him. 

There are a fair number of horror films that focus on elderly people (Relic, The Manor, The Taking of Deborah Logan, and The Visit come to mind), but not like this one. The Rule of Jenny Pen taps into the fear of aging and losing independence while also allowing the characters to retain dignity. But it's also a delightfully weird and surprisingly nasty little movie. Lithgow is genuinely scary as Dave Crealy--a sociopath with a captive group of victims to bully and abuse. Rush is sympathetic as a man who is frustrated by his situation and uses his superiority complex as a shield to protect himself from his fears of aging, disability, and death...but who eventually realizes that he wants to protect the other residents from the psycho roaming the halls. 

Many horror movies about elderly people either treat the geriatric population with kid gloves, or do the opposite and lean into eldersploitation, goosing the audience with images of adult diapers and drooling mouths. The Rule of Jenny Pen does neither: it shows that older folks can be just as brave and determined (or just as mean and violent) as anyone else, and it shows the hard realities of aging while never looking down on its subjects. 

Don't sleep on this one!

Grade: B+ 

***

The Game

I really thought I would like The Game since it is directed by one of my favorite directors, David Fincher. However, I was not impressed. The film is about a wealthy investment banker, Nicholas Van Orton (Michael Douglas), who is gifted a "personalized recreational experience" on his 48th birthday by his brother, Conrad (Sean Penn). 

Turns out, the "game" is basically a bunch of people trying to ruin your life to make you appreciate everything you have. It's kind of like Saw but with less razor wire. Van Orton is thrust into a series of situations which threaten his reputation, his money, and his life. 

Spoiler alert: he's totally fine! It's all a game. And it helps him appreciate his life a lot more and heal from his traumatic past. *farrrrttttt* This movie was boring. I found myself playing computer solitaire while watching it, which on the one hand was my choice and I could have paid more attention and possibly appreciated the movie more, but on the other hand, movies that are actually good tend to hold my attention and this one obviously didn't. Michael Douglas is kind of a drag in The Game. He underreacts a lot. If I was in the middle of "the game", I would be absolutely losing my shit. Crying, throwing up, curled up into a corner and rocking. Douglas just kinda...gets mad. He doesn't even yell that much! He just seems annoyed.

Fincher mostly turns out excellent thrillers: Gone Girl, Se7en, Zodiac...but this is one movie of his that I was bored by. I guess they can't all be winners!

Grade: C